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[DocSeuss]

I don't even know where to begin. I shouldn't even be here. I should be flying planes for a living. Turns out planes and I don't mix--the avgas doesn't get along with my particular makeup. Discovered this in flight school. It made me drop out for a long time. Extreme pain, sleeping eighteen hour days, eventually nine months going to a doctor trying to put the pieces of my life back together. I'm still nowhere near 100%. The worst problems are chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I feel like I can't stop moving, or I'll die, but at the same time, I don't have the strength to keep going. I'm crashing, burning myself out. I feel like I'm dying.

Still, I could survive, if I had an income. Yeah, my health prevents me from the one thing I feel born to do, but I mean, if I could go to work, everything would be good, right? And I do have a job, so there's that. I help teachers out--because, yeah, I returned to school to learn to do something else, and the only job I could find was helping teachers on campus. The teachers all seem to love me. Every time I talk to them, they're great. We greet each other in the halls, they compliment me to my boss, and all sorts of stuff. Basically, I've got it made, right?

Wrong.

For whatever reason, my boss has taken a dislike to me. Never mind that everyone else seems to like me. She doesn't, and she's looking for reasons to do so. Apparently, she asks other people how I perform at work. She doesn't ask about other workers, and she doesn't ask me any of this, but she asks them. Constantly. I led a group project, creating a new training manual, and she was asking my partner if I did any of the work at all, because, for whatever reason, she couldn't fathom that I would do any work. When people make random remarks, she misinterprets them, seemingly deliberately, so I get in trouble. If I tell someone I'm training that we can help students do just about anything other than do their homework for them, she turns it into "oh, I heard you are telling trainees that they are only allowed to answer technical questions."

When she did my review, I ended up doing pretty well. She didn't like that I "didn't know some stuff," (for instance, I'm not allowed to call our tech guy, I have to call regular tech support, then forward that ticket to her, which she will send to tech guy) and that I was "too personal."

Apparently, "too personal" is "hey, listen, you know I NEVER miss work, but I need to talk to the food stamp people. They've mandated that I come to a meeting at a specific time, and they'll deny me benefits if I don't go, so I have to. Please let me go an hour early today." She was totally fine with letting me leave early, but hated that I sent her an email explaining this. This is the same person who likes telling me how she had vomiting and diarrhea all night 'cause of some bad food, or how her daughter is going to need to see the doctor for various maladies, or whatever.

Mid-semester, she hired a new worker to take over one hour that needed filling. Multiple people could have taken it, and mid-semester hiring is unprecedented. She used this opportunity to cut my hours in half. "It's better for the team if you're capped at a certain number of hours," she told me. Bear in mind, I started needing to be on food stamps. Now it's worse. By the way, when I say "cut," I mean that she made it so I work one hour, don't work an hour, work an hour, don't work an hour, work three hours, don't work ninety minutes... and on and on. And that's just one day. I did the math. Based on my pay rate and the time she makes me waste at work, I should be making about $400 more than I need to.

She drops all these hints that she's not satisfied with my performance, or that I'm doing well, but reviews constantly show I'm actually great. I've seen her lie to other people about unrelated things. She constantly tries to find reasons to get on my case, then emails the whole department with thinly-veiled "guys, we can do better" stuff based on her misinterpretation of things I've done. She levels criticisms at me that nobody in the department, many of whom are my friends, have uttered.

...aaaand she's telling people that she won't keep me employed during the summer, when she told me "oh, during the summer, you'll actually work more hours here than you do now." Frustratingly, she's emailed me saying that hours are confidential, and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone about my schedule. A department-wide email was sent asking all of us for the hours we wanted. I asked for a reasonable amount--and I'm receiving financial aid that means that it costs her nothing to employ me (government pays school to keep me around) for the duration of the summer, even at maximum hours--she has recently been hinting at me that I shouldn't get my hopes up about hours, saying "I'm not the one who will be doing the scheduling, since I won't be here this summer." Her second-in-command, who will be running the show this summer, is baffled by this, saying "yeah, she's setting up the schedule; I don't know why she would tell you that."

Coworkers describe her as "psycho," saying she has it out for me for no reason any of them can tell. "She just hates you. I don't know why."

I haven't seen a doctor in years. I'm in enormous amounts of pain. Some days, it even hurts to get out of bed. I force myself through waves of pain and nausea so I can pretend to be remotely normal. I'm getting training here that should eventually net me a job, which I can use to pay for medical treatment, get better, and survive. All I want to do right now is survive, but lately, I wake up every day wanting to know just why it is I'm still alive, because I certainly don't feel like living.

I don't know how to function any more.

I just put the last of my money into my gas tank, so I can go to class tomorrow. If I keep my grades up, I can keep going to school. If I can go to school, I can keep getting financial aid. If I can stay on financial aid, I can avoid homelessness, but even that might not be enough to save me now. I'm not just here for me--my little brother couldn't afford school if I didn't come with. I can't leave, because if I do, it screws him over, and I want him to have a good shot at life.

So.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

EDIT: Accent, super cool guy, set this up to help me avoid homelessness this summer.

 

[Curtisaur]

Kill 'em all and keep movin'.

 

[terrisus]

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

 

[braves01]

Can you substantiate any of the wrongdoing your boss has done to you, and take it above her?

 

[DocSeuss]

Kill 'em all and keep movin'.

This option has been considered and rejected as I can't afford any means of murder, and also I do not really like murder that much, on account of it's pretty bad.

Can you substantiate any of the wrongdoing your boss has done to you, and take it above her?

I was advised not to take it to her boss, and reaching out to HR was met with "oh yeah, talk to this guy..." annnnd nothing came of that. I'd like to just find a new job, but no such luck so far. Doesn't help when people ask your current boss if you're any good, and take her word as gospel when she's got a personal dislike for you.

 

[Abraxas]

Did you sign up for Affordable care or something like that (I'm assuming US)? That seems like it is designed to help people in similar situations to you.

 

[TokiDoki]

Easy , just jump ship . You don't have to deal with the person you doesn't like .

I've much shittier life than you , but I've continued on for 7 years .

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Avgas? Breathing the exhaust?

Edit: googled, guess it contains a form of lead.

 

[Tesseract]

describe the pain, can't help without more information.

 

[DocSeuss]

Did you sign up for Affordable care or something like that (I'm assuming US)? That seems like it is designed to help people in similar situations to you.

ACA is just health insurance. I should be on SSDI. Got a meeting for it on May 16, but benefits, if I get 'em, would kick in late summer. Worse still, you have to make X amount of money to be considered for SSDI, and I don't make that kind of money on account of being sick in the first place.

Easy , just jump ship . You don't have to deal with the person you doesn't like .

I've much shittier life than you , but I've continued on for 7 years .

Right. Right. Jump ship. Didn't I mention this was the only job I could find? I'm looking for other work. My options are limited due to health reasons.

Seven years? That's all? I've lived this hell longer. I have been told, by doctors, "you should be dead," and "you shouldn't even have been able to climb out of bed to get into your appointment today." I haven't seen 'em in years, bought I've continued to fight through it. My entire body is constantly full of pain. I am constantly fatigued. I lost everything I ever wanted to do in life, and none of it was my fault (because I can't control a school's departmental collapse or my own genetics). I have lived inches from homelessness for years now.

I don't know how bad your life is, but seven years sounds like amateur hour to me, unless you were, like, stuck in a POW camp or something.

Avgas? Breathing the exhaust?

Living at the airport/fueling airplanes. Just being around that stuff makes me sick. I get massive headaches from smelling things like cigarettes too. It's a complex illness that's hard to explain.

describe the pain, can't help without more information.

Full body. Feels like termites are eating through my bones, while the rest of my body's been submerged a few hundred feet below the surface, where the pressure's crushing me to death. Oh, and sometimes, I feel like I've torn a muscle or been through an intense workout or something, and all I've really done is wake up.

Migraines and the occasional cluster headache too.

 

[braves01]

I was advised not to take it to her boss, and reaching out to HR was met with "oh yeah, talk to this guy..." annnnd nothing came of that. I'd like to just find a new job, but no such luck so far. Doesn't help when people ask your current boss if you're any good, and take her word as gospel when she's got a personal dislike for you.

I'd still keep politely pestering HR until you get some kind of resolution, and I'd also keep going directly to her boss in your back pocket, but only as a last resort since that could turn out horribly.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

What is your actual job? And is there any kind of human resource department you can complain to or a supervisor above her head that you can talk to and explain the absurdities of her work environment?

The way she has hours mapped out just sounds like the most idiotic, inefficient thing I can imagine. Actually, it sounds like she wants you to quit and is going the extra mile to break your spirit.

Edit: Don't list her as a reference on your resume. Ever. If they ask for a phone number of your place of employment, give them an HR number.

Edit2: And whomever told you not to talk to her boss was wrong, and probably an idiot.

 

[DocSeuss]

I'd still keep politely pestering HR until you get some kind of resolution, and I'd also keep going directly to her boss in your back pocket, but only as a last resort since that could turn out horribly.

I'm probably going to. Problem is, my classes are pretty stressful right now. One of the teachers is so bad, our GTA spent an hour in lab practically begging us to talk to the department chair about how bad this teacher is. She's doing stuff like moving the goalposts, telling me that my extra credit (which I put a lot of work into) will go towards "perceived effort" in the class. Not points. Points "aren't real," she said. My 96% test score doesn't matter. So it's hard to go to HR when you end up getting more money from financial aid, which requires you to keep your grades up.

I just can't get a break, and it's killing me.

What is your actual job? And is there any kind of human resource department you can complain to or a supervisor above her head that you can talk to and explain the absurdities of her work environment?

"Lab assistant." Basically, I do anything and everything for teachers. I actually have a degree in game design, and training in journalism. Problem is, my degree is ACTUALLY in the field of "oh no, our department is collapsing, please help us come up with documentation and curriculum so that future students can actually learn how to make games." This means I spent more time figuring out how stuff worked that I did building a portfolio of games stuff. If I could, I'd turn that into a four year degree, but as it is, I'm focusing on video production. I figure I can go be a cameraman for the local news or something.

I went from "woah, you're one of the best pilots I've ever seen; you might want to look into a career as a test pilot/sales rep for private jets" to "thanks for helping save our department," to "maybe I can film local commercials or something." Not the trajectory I had hoped for.

There is an HR department. I have gone to them. They were like "oh, do you want to start arbitration?" and I was like "Geez, no, I just want to talk to someone to figure out what to do." Last time I had to do arbitration (tl;dr, boss was going through divorce, fired all the guys except me, used me as something to scream at, she had to get pulled away by security), the person I was to be arbitrating with was called in to do the arbitration. It was a private meeting between the two of us, which was basically "if you ever do this again, I'll fire you, also, I'm making a note in your permanent record about how you cried and were "confrontational" on days you weren't even assigned to work in this building." I actually have transcripts. They're barely written in English. Other people told me she had no call, but "see it from her perspective, divorce is stressful."

After the divorce, we were super friendly, she gave me whatever hours I asked for, praised me for being awesome, had me do the training 'cause of my experience, etc. Just wonderful. During the divorce was a nightmare though.

The way she has hours mapped out just sounds like the most idiotic, inefficient thing I can imagine. Actually, it sounds like she wants you to quit and is going the extra mile to break your spirit.

That's my guess. It's horrible. Before, it was mostly three-hour blocks with the occasional break and another hour elsewhere. I asked her for larger blocks, but she said "when I worked this job, I only ever wanted to work three hours max."

Edit: Don't list her as a reference on your resume. Ever. If they ask for a phone number of your place of employment, give them an HR number.

Edit2: And whomever told you not to talk to her boss was wrong, and probably an idiot.

This person said to go to HR. Going to the boss would... not be good. She worked for the boss directly, so I kinda took her word for it.

I have no intention listing my current boss on my resume.

 

[nicanica]

I can't stress enough that health comes first. If you're getting worse where you currently are, take off man. Put that game design degree to use. Get a menial job that has flexible hours, work on your portfolio. If people think you're nice and a hard worker at your current job now; guess what? They'll think you're a hard worker and nice at your next job.

 

[DocSeuss]

If you already have a degree in game design, quit. Work at a coffee shop. Develop your portfolio for the next 6 months. Put the money you spent into getting that degree into actual use.

How do you propose I do that?

Serious question.

I have, to my name, my half of one month's rent. If I quit, I lose food stamps. I don't have enough money for utilities.

What makes you think I can just magically quit a job I would give just about anything to quit, and spend six months doing something I would kill to be able to do? Because, seriously, I actually have two games in the design process right now. One of them, art and music aside, I think I can actually get workable in under a year, and sell.

But I don't have the resources. If I quit my job, I am homeless. I may be homeless despite having my job. If I can get on disability, I'll be golden, but I've got no medical records to give 'em, and no idea how to prove that I am, in fact, disabled. The person I set up the appointment with told me I should have applied years ago.

 

[jb1234]

Your health problems sound very similar to mine (which ended up being fibromyalgia, which can be triggered by sensitivities to chemicals like you describe). I ultimately wasn't able to sustain a career and had to retire on disability in my mid-20s.

I wish you the best. I know how awful it is to live with chronic pain and fatigue and feel like everything is completely out of control.

 

[solarus]

Probably a silly suggestion but OP is it possible you could work as a video game journalist? I enjoyed your thread about PC video game coverage getting the short thrift in gaming journalism.

 

[DocSeuss]

Your health problems sound very similar to mine (which ended up being fibromyalgia, which can be triggered by sensitivities to chemicals like you describe). I ultimately wasn't able to sustain a career and had to retire on disability in my mid-20s.

I wish you the best. I know how awful it is to live with chronic pain and fatigue and feel like everything is completely out of control.

Any protips for getting on disability? I don't want to be on it for life, just for long enough that, hopefully, I can get my stuff together.

Even then, I mean... that's August. I'm trying to figure out how to pay my utilities during June here.

Probably a silly suggestion but OP is it possible you could work as a video game journalist? I enjoyed your thread about PC video game coverage getting the short thrift in gaming journalism.

Part of the reason I wrote that is because it's hard to get PC-centric stuff accepted (which is my personal area of interest), based on the people I've written to. I just turned in one (non-PC-related) piece today. It won't pay much, but if it's good enough, it'll cover two of four bills. It's weird. On the sites I've hung out on, my community content gets promoted to the front page pretty frequently. One site kinda blacklisted me because "otherwise, nobody else will get to get promoted." And yet I'm not quite good enough to get paid. I'm in a weird grey area. People add me on Steam or whatever, telling me they love my work. I've heard I am the only reason people visit certain gaming sites. I think I'm pretty good at this. Not world-shatteringly great, mind you, but better than the average person who regurgitates press releases or posts fanart stuff--and it's not just me. I've literally had people name journalists to me, and say "you're better than this person, how is it you don't have a job?"

I should. Honestly, I think I should. I think I could turn in solid work... but I've learned that people like to meet you face-to-face, and I'm in the middle of the continental US. The old HR adage "it's not how good you are, it's who you know" seems to be a thing. I'd even work for crap pay, like... idfk, $9,000 a year, part time, no insurance or anything. I could survive on that. Even go to the doctor occasionally.

 

[jb1234]

Any protips for getting on disability? I don't want to be on it for life, just for long enough that, hopefully, I can get my stuff together.

Even then, I mean... that's August. I'm trying to figure out how to pay my utilities during June here.

I had a fast shot to it because I was already considered mentally disabled so I get supplemental disability (which is less money but it doesn't require past work experience). If you don't have an illness with a concrete name and the symptoms are invisible, you're going to have a difficult time getting disability and the process will probably take months, if not a couple of years, along with many appeals and even possible lawyer intervention. And the younger you are, the harder it will be because there's a lot of money at stake.

 

[NotMyRealName]

edit - nm

 

[hunnies28]

I wish you the best of luck. From what you said you don't sound even remotely ready to give up, you are just having a (really) hard time.

 

[adamsappel]

Go to the doctor. You need to do this to get disability, which you surely qualify for.

 

[DocSeuss]

Go to the doctor. You need to do this to get disability, which you surely qualify for.

So you're saying I should... rob a bank first?

 

[Konka]

So you're saying I should... rob a bank first?

Do you qualify for medicaid?

 

[Boney]

Best of luck dude, I can see you're pretty smart with the way you manage your stuff and I admire your perseverance.

It's a shit situation to be in, perhaps you could try asking your co-workers to keep putting a good word in and try asking what exactly irks her about you, of course in a non confrontational way. Short term, you really need her to change your perception about you and it's gonna be impossible on your own.

I also enjoyed your pc thread and I'm not even pc gamer, so you're pretty talented dude, hope negativity doesn't get you and things work out.

 

[BearFlexington]

Your situation doesn't sound good, but I assure you that it is not as bad as it could be. 2013 was the worst year of my life and 2014 is already the best. As corny as it sounds: wake up, work hard, try to stay positive and things will get better.

 

[DocSeuss]

Do you qualify for medicaid?

That's what talking to people about disability is supposed to help me figure out.

Best of luck dude, I can see you're pretty smart with the way you manage your stuff and I admire your perseverance.

It's a shit situation to be in, perhaps you could try asking your co-workers to keep putting a good word in and try asking what exactly irks her about you, of course in a non confrontational way. Short term, you really need her to change your perception about you and it's gonna be impossible on your own.

I also enjoyed your pc thread and I'm not even pc gamer, so you're pretty talented dude, hope negativity doesn't get you and things work out.

I have asked coworkers for help on that front. They've tried. Had one talking to me about it the other day. She came out of nowhere to tell me that my boss was trying to find fault with my project. Instead of taking credit for my work, like some people might have done, my coworker gave credit where it was due and argued that I had done good on the project.

Your situation doesn't sound good, but I assure you that it is not as bad as it could be. 2013 was the worst year of my life and 2014 is already the best. As corny as it sounds: wake up, work hard, try to stay positive and things will get better.

Of course, I could have a terminal illness instead of a chronic illness, and I could be homeless instead of being pretty close to being homeless.

I've heard "things will get better." I've fought back from "you are the sickest patient I've ever had." I have survived a lot, for, what, a decade now? I am losing my ability to survive, and I don't see a way out.

 

[Derwind]

I don't even know where to begin. I shouldn't even be here. I should be flying planes for a living. Turns out planes and I don't mix--the avgas doesn't get along with my particular makeup. Discovered this in flight school. It made me drop out for a long time. Extreme pain, sleeping eighteen hour days, eventually nine months going to a doctor trying to put the pieces of my life back together. I'm still nowhere near 100%. The worst problems are chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I feel like I can't stop moving, or I'll die, but at the same time, I don't have the strength to keep going. I'm crashing, burning myself out. I feel like I'm dying.

Still, I could survive, if I had an income. Yeah, my health prevents me from the one thing I feel born to do, but I mean, if I could go to work, everything would be good, right? And I do have a job, so there's that. I help teachers out--because, yeah, I returned to school to learn to do something else, and the only job I could find was helping teachers on campus. The teachers all seem to love me. Every time I talk to them, they're great. We greet each other in the halls, they compliment me to my boss, and all sorts of stuff. Basically, I've got it made, right?

Wrong.

For whatever reason, my boss has taken a dislike to me. Never mind that everyone else seems to like me. She doesn't, and she's looking for reasons to do so. Apparently, she asks other people how I perform at work. She doesn't ask about other workers, and she doesn't ask me any of this, but she asks them. Constantly. I led a group project, creating a new training manual, and she was asking my partner if I did any of the work at all, because, for whatever reason, she couldn't fathom that I would do any work. When people make random remarks, she misinterprets them, seemingly deliberately, so I get in trouble. If I tell someone I'm training that we can help students do just about anything other than do their homework for them, she turns it into "oh, I heard you are telling trainees that they are only allowed to answer technical questions."

When she did my review, I ended up doing pretty well. She didn't like that I "didn't know some stuff," (for instance, I'm not allowed to call our tech guy, I have to call regular tech support, then forward that ticket to her, which she will send to tech guy) and that I was "too personal."

Apparently, "too personal" is "hey, listen, you know I NEVER miss work, but I need to talk to the food stamp people. They've mandated that I come to a meeting at a specific time, and they'll deny me benefits if I don't go, so I have to. Please let me go an hour early today." She was totally fine with letting me leave early, but hated that I sent her an email explaining this. This is the same person who likes telling me how she had vomiting and diarrhea all night 'cause of some bad food, or how her daughter is going to need to see the doctor for various maladies, or whatever.

Mid-semester, she hired a new worker to take over one hour that needed filling. Multiple people could have taken it, and mid-semester hiring is unprecedented. She used this opportunity to cut my hours in half. "It's better for the team if you're capped at a certain number of hours," she told me. Bear in mind, I started needing to be on food stamps. Now it's worse. By the way, when I say "cut," I mean that she made it so I work one hour, don't work an hour, work an hour, don't work an hour, work three hours, don't work ninety minutes... and on and on. And that's just one day. I did the math. Based on my pay rate and the time she makes me waste at work, I should be making about $400 more than I need to.

She drops all these hints that she's not satisfied with my performance, or that I'm doing well, but reviews constantly show I'm actually great. I've seen her lie to other people about unrelated things. She constantly tries to find reasons to get on my case, then emails the whole department with thinly-veiled "guys, we can do better" stuff based on her misinterpretation of things I've done. She levels criticisms at me that nobody in the department, many of whom are my friends, have uttered.

...aaaand she's telling people that she won't keep me employed during the summer, when she told me "oh, during the summer, you'll actually work more hours here than you do now." Frustratingly, she's emailed me saying that hours are confidential, and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone about my schedule. A department-wide email was sent asking all of us for the hours we wanted. I asked for a reasonable amount--and I'm receiving financial aid that means that it costs her nothing to employ me (government pays school to keep me around) for the duration of the summer, even at maximum hours--she has recently been hinting at me that I shouldn't get my hopes up about hours, saying "I'm not the one who will be doing the scheduling, since I won't be here this summer." Her second-in-command, who will be running the show this summer, is baffled by this, saying "yeah, she's setting up the schedule; I don't know why she would tell you that."

Coworkers describe her as "psycho," saying she has it out for me for no reason any of them can tell. "She just hates you. I don't know why."

I haven't seen a doctor in years. I'm in enormous amounts of pain. Some days, it even hurts to get out of bed. I force myself through waves of pain and nausea so I can pretend to be remotely normal. I'm getting training here that should eventually net me a job, which I can use to pay for medical treatment, get better, and survive. All I want to do right now is survive, but lately, I wake up every day wanting to know just why it is I'm still alive, because I certainly don't feel like living.

I don't know how to function any more.

I just put the last of my money into my gas tank, so I can go to class tomorrow. If I keep my grades up, I can keep going to school. If I can go to school, I can keep getting financial aid. If I can stay on financial aid, I can avoid homelessness, but even that might not be enough to save me now. I'm not just here for me--my little brother couldn't afford school if I didn't come with. I can't leave, because if I do, it screws him over, and I want him to have a good shot at life.

So.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I just had a few tears roll down reading this.

Man thats horrible, one of the hardest things I had to read, that lady really shouldn't be in the position that she is.

I'm sorry. Thats all I can say.

There are better people on GAF to give you advice on that matter, a matter I'm not qualified to answer to.

All I wanted to express was my heartfelt sorrow at your situation and while their are no guarantees in life, I hope you find yourself in a much better situation.

Goodluck.

 

[TokiDoki]

Ok sorry I didn't properly read the first paragraph of OP and just glanced on everything .

Have you thought of picking up web expertise instead ? You should be able to do freelances pretty soon once you've mastered several basic skills like front end/light back end knowledges .

Anyway , best of luck mate .

 

[Rookje]

Do you have any family?

 

[Arrogant Bastard]

snip

JFC. I would recommend that you start seeking council and/or union representation. Talking about the workplace environment. Is there no regulatory body or way to evaluate/discuss the issue that would allow you to circumvent your 'boss'?

Tell me you are in a liberal state, please. You could at least get assistance through medicaid.

 

[adamsappel]

So you're saying I should... rob a bank first?

Free clinic? Medicaid? ER?

 

[Bradach]

I'd speak to other managers / teachers in the place you're working in at the moment to see if you can get an internal transfer.
It sounds like the school itself is a good place to work, try to move managers.

 

[watershed]

I'd love to help but I am having some trouble separating the various issues you are experiences. Break it down really clearly then think about how you can tackle each task.

For example, the pain you are in, what is the illness? How is it typically treated? Are you getting treatment now? How are you paying for it?

Your work, your boss is an asshole. What are your options? Can you transfer? Can you find another job? Are you eligible for unemployment benefits if you were to stop working?

 

[SolVanderlyn]

I'm sorry, OP. I know it doesn't mean much from a random guy on the internet, but I really feel like the situation you're in is unfair and that life hasn't been treating you the way it should. You don't sound like you're lazy at all and yet you're still poor, sick, and destitute. It sounds so infuriating. That woman is a bitch. I've met people who clearly have it out for me before and it always feels so unjustifiably wrong. Like, why?

All I can do is be mad with you. All I can do is feel for you. I don't have any advice other than that I think you should really pursue journalism. It sounds like a talent you can work with. Play console games if you have to, man. Consider it a sacrifice or lifestyle change to be made for your job prospects. Console or handheld games might also serve as an entry into more versatile subject matter, which could eventually include PC games.

Stay strong. Nobody sleeps forever. Nightmare's gonna end eventually.

 

[PirateKing]

Hugs, man. Goddammit.

Do you have something I can donate to? Not sure how to do it since I'm in Australia but I'll do it after I pay my bills tomorrow. If I have left overs, I'll transfer some when I get back home.

 

[Paper Sparrow]

My dad had a hard time getting on disability because he had a rare disease. Right after he got it, he had a stroke and died soon after. Sent our family into a financial spiral that my mom is still trying to get out from.

I wish I could give some advice, but all I can say is that there are good days and bad days ahead. The good days are worth getting through the bad.

 

[Dice]

The health issues seem confusingly extreme and prolonged. Are you sure it was just exposure to the avgas? Have you had your blood tested for diseases?

 

[DocSeuss]

Do you have any family?

None I can stay with. Moving in with them would basically crush any chances I have at finishing school and getting a better job forever, too. If I don't make it here, I'm done.

I went to flight school and had to quit. I graduated with a 2-year degree in game design from a department that collapsed early in my training, so I didn't get the portfolio experience I needed. Now I'm in film school. I need to finish this. Even if I could move in with someone... well, I'd have no more chances at anything. I need this.

JFC. I would recommend that you start seeking council and/or union representation. Talking about the workplace environment. Is there no regulatory body or way to evaluate/discuss the issue that would allow you to circumvent your 'boss'?

Tell me you are in a liberal state, please. You could at least get assistance through medicaid.

That's what HR's supposed to be for. I've reached out to them. They're not being helpful yet.

Free clinic? Medicaid? ER?

Maybe/thatcomesAFTERdisability/thatwouldmakememorebankrupter

I'd speak to other managers / teachers in the place you're working in at the moment to see if you can get an internal transfer.
It sounds like the school itself is a good place to work, try to move managers.

I have been. One was like "have you considered house-sitting?" Another was all "reach out to these or those guys." Problem is, most people start hiring in... yup, August. I need a solution by mid-May.

I'd love to help but I am having some trouble separating the various issues you are experiences. Break it down really clearly then think about how you can tackle each task.

For example, the pain you are in, what is the illness? How is it typically treated? Are you getting treatment now? How are you paying for it?

Your work, your boss is an asshole. What are your options? Can you transfer? Can you find another job? Are you eligible for unemployment benefits if you were to stop working?

It's because all my issues are sort of muddled up together. To break it down:

A) I'm ridiculously ill. Not the kind of thing insurance covers, either. The only doctor who was ever able to help me found me through a family member who had a similar illness (it forced him to quit being a doctor). Through me, we found out it's a family thing. My grandmother died of it last year. Ever seen someone die of something you're going to die of? It's horrifying. But it's not like "hey, here's an illness with a name."

B) Being ridiculously ill limits my job options. I need something where I can sit down, so a lot of stuff, like retail/restaurants, are out the window by default. Office work's all over on campus, but most of it pays less than I need, in terms of hours+work. This job actually has one of the nicer salaries on campus (~$10/hr range, not $7.50 like most), and originally, I was hired at about 20 hours a week, which is enough to scrape by on.

C) Apparently, my illness makes my boss uncomfortable, so even though she's sweet to my face, she's extremely passive aggressive, and appears to be trying to get me to quit. She disregards things like "the food guys say I lose my stamps if I lose my hours," tells me to "look happier" when I'm feeling sick, and always shuts me down when I try to explain my health limits.

Simple?

I'm sorry, OP. I know it doesn't mean much from a random guy on the internet, but I really feel like the situation you're in is unfair and that life hasn't been treating you the way it should. You don't sound like you're lazy at all and yet you're still poor, sick, and destitute. It sounds so infuriating. That woman is a bitch. I've met people who clearly have it out for me before and it always feels so unjustifiably wrong. Like, why?

I'm used to people thinking I'm just an ugly dude who is lazy. I mean, I'm tired all the time. "Oh, he's just whining." ffs, during my hospital time (back when my family could afford medical treatment for me), I had moved about three hours north where my doctor was, so I could go for tri-weekly visits. The family member I was staying with accused me of being lazy, not looking for work, etc. I had literally gone out for interviews. For a while, I was driving an hour every day to work and back. 10-11 hour days when I wasn't going to the hospital. It was killing me, and I had to quit.

My looks impact my getting hired. I'm ill. It holds me back. When I get a job, everyone compliments me on my work, so having a boss like my current one is a bit weird, but I see where she's coming from. My illness makes her uncomfortable.

All I can do is be mad with you. All I can do is feel for you. I don't have any advice other than that I think you should really pursue journalism. It sounds like a talent you can work with. Play console games if you have to, man. Consider it a sacrifice or lifestyle change to be made for your job prospects. Console or handheld games might also serve as an entry into more versatile subject matter, which could eventually include PC games.

That's... weird advice. I have a significantly larger collection of PC games (Steam = 999 games) than console games. It was an advantage of A) gifts, B) winning a couple things, C) being poor but not having to pay rent or anything for a while, so I could buy super cheap bundles, D) really smart purchasing. The most relaxing, chill games I can possibly play are city builders, like Banished or Tropico 5. Tropico's my jam. I want to get the special edition of the game, but I don't see how I'll be able to in the near future.

I got bigger stuff to deal with. An $150 air filter (helps mitigate pain issues). Utilities. Rent. A $39 game isn't gonna help me.

Stay strong. Nobody sleeps forever. Nightmare's gonna end eventually.

I like the way you put that. I mean, I'm really appreciative of everyone who's been supportive, even if I didn't quote 'em and thank 'em personally, but the way you put that hits the writer in me.

Hugs, man. Goddammit.

Do you have something I can donate to? Not sure how to do it since I'm in Australia but I'll do it after I pay my bills tomorrow. If I have left overs, I'll transfer some when I get back home.

I talked with someone about setting something up to help me survive the summer. He's been pretty busy though, and I don't want to inconvenience him. I've always felt... weird and guilty asking for help. It's why I didn't try out for disability sooner, even though I should have. I could always work a little bit, and I fought off death, so it was like "yeah bro, I got this. I'm self-reliant. I can win this." I mean, when I got sick, I went from top marks to failing most of my classes.

I fought back from that--my last two semesters have been 4.0s, even though, in that time, I buried my grandmother, graduated with two 2-year degrees (one was an accident, funny story), moved, found a new job, started at a new school in a new degree, dealt with this stupid stuff with my boss... some days were so awful. One day, my bus never showed, so I climbed the hill (some jerk thought it'd be great if the school was a "shining beacon on a hill," so they built the hill at the top of what is like a 20 degree incline. I climbed the hill, walked across a 30,000-40,000 student campus (so it's big), in the freezing rain, showed up a few minutes late to my final, and out of the three hundred or so students in the class, I was one of twelve to get marks in the 90s.

I am an extremely tough person, I think. I have survived hell. But I'm becoming increasingly defeated. I don't know how much longer I can keep winning against these odds. I'm really worried one day, I'll go to bed, and I just won't wake up. It scares me.

The health issues seem confusingly extreme and prolonged. Are you sure it was just exposure to the avgas? Have you had your blood tested for diseases?

There's some other stuff. Short version is that a couple genes don't work right, and they process stuff differently. This has some various negative effects, including a disruption of my body's citric acid cycle, and a drastically reduced output of endocrine system stuff. For a while, they thought my thyroid was going to fail. It's a big ball of "I don't understand this but it hurts a lot and I'm tired all the time and I'm supposed to avoid environmental stressors."

 

[MilkBeard]

Do you have a car? Deliver Pizza for the meantime until you get something better. I know it's not that well respected, but the job is fairly fun, has short evening hours, and you can make anywhere from 12-25 dollars an hour. I work 20 hours a week, and I have enough to pay for a small (very small) apartment, keep my car going, and I can eat decently.

EDIT: depending on your illness it may be tough to work in the food industry. What exactly are your symptoms? Seems like it will be a challenge to find something to get money while you battle with your illness.

 

[DocSeuss]

Do you have a car? Deliver Pizza for the meantime until you get something better. I know it's not that well respected, but the job is fairly fun, has short evening hours, and you can make anywhere from 12-25 dollars an hour. I work 20 hours a week, and I have enough to pay for a small (very small) apartment, keep my car going, and I can eat decently.

EDIT: depending on your illness it may be tough to work in the food industry. What exactly are your symptoms? Seems like it will be a challenge to find something to get money while you battle with your illness.

Most obvious symptoms are fatigue and pain.

Pizza delivery might be doable; you make more than I do.

 

[FreeMufasa]

So did you make this thread expecting donations? seems its happening alot here now

 

[MilkBeard]

Most obvious symptoms are fatigue and pain.

Pizza delivery might be doable; you make more than I do.

You'll have to be able to be on your feet for 4-5 hours and be coming and going to your car quite a bit. If you can handle that then it could be a short term answer anyway, or something similar. Finding a part time job where you make tips will be beneficial, as you will make more for less time than other jobs of the same level.

 

[TheVampire]

 

[watershed]

It's because all my issues are sort of muddled up together. To break it down:

A) I'm ridiculously ill. Not the kind of thing insurance covers, either. The only doctor who was ever able to help me found me through a family member who had a similar illness (it forced him to quit being a doctor). Through me, we found out it's a family thing. My grandmother died of it last year. Ever seen someone die of something you're going to die of? It's horrifying. But it's not like "hey, here's an illness with a name."

B) Being ridiculously ill limits my job options. I need something where I can sit down, so a lot of stuff, like retail/restaurants, are out the window by default. Office work's all over on campus, but most of it pays less than I need, in terms of hours+work. This job actually has one of the nicer salaries on campus (~$10/hr range, not $7.50 like most), and originally, I was hired at about 20 hours a week, which is enough to scrape by on.

C) Apparently, my illness makes my boss uncomfortable, so even though she's sweet to my face, she's extremely passive aggressive, and appears to be trying to get me to quit. She disregards things like "the food guys say I lose my stamps if I lose my hours," tells me to "look happier" when I'm feeling sick, and always shuts me down when I try to explain my health limits.

Simple?

Okay so your illness is hereditary then? What is it called? Does it have a name? Is it a condition, a disease? What is the treatment? How often do you receive medical treatment for this and how much does it cost you?

The reason I am asking all these questions is because your writing is filled with emotion but in order to help you we need more concrete facts. In order to help yourself I think you need to separate the emotions you feel regarding your illness and work, from the issues themselves. In other words, tell me what's wrong in as factual a way as possible, then we can work thru what options may be available to you.

About your work issue, you are currently in school and on financial aid right? Would you consider taking out an additional loan, I think they used to be called Perkins Loans or something, to pay for your housing and living expenses and then pay them off once you graduate? No one likes taking on unnecessary debt but minimum payments and low interest education loans are the norm these days and you can restructure rather easily if you have genuine hardship after graduation.

 

[DocSeuss]

So did you make this thread expecting donations? seems its happening alot here now

I needed a place to vent. I'd been advised by people on Twitter to set up a donation campaign thing, and someone on GAF, out of the blue, volunteered to help me set one up at some point, but no. I think I said somewhere I feel kinda guilty about asking for help. It bugs me. I had someone buy me some food once when I hadn't eaten in days, and I felt bad about that, even though I needed it desperately.

I'm looking for an answer. I'd given up talking to HR. I've been encouraged, in this thread, to reach back out to them, so I will. Pizza sounded like a good opportunity. Turns out probably not so good. I'm not expecting some great Answer, but... y'know, something? Some idea I missed. Something that can help me figure this stuff out.

And I dunno, maybe you saw my other thread about managing pain week or so ago. I thought maybe if I could manage that, I'd be okay. Doesn't seem to be the case.

You'll have to be able to be on your feet for 4-5 hours and be coming and going to your car quite a bit. If you can handle that then it could be a short term answer anyway, or something similar. Finding a part time job where you make tips will be beneficial, as you will make more for less time than other jobs of the same level.

The being on my feet thing is gonna cause trouble...

Okay so your illness is hereditary then? What is it called? Does it have a name? Is it a condition, a disease? What is the treatment? How often do you receive medical treatment for this and how much does it cost you?

The reason I am asking all these questions is because your writing is filled with emotion but in order to help you we need more concrete facts. In order to help yourself I think you need to separate the emotions you feel regarding your illness and work, from the issues themselves. In other words, tell me what's wrong in as factual a way as possible, then we can work thru what options may be available to you.

About your work issue, you are currently in school and on financial aid right? Would you consider taking out an additional loan, I think they used to be called Perkins Loans or something, to pay for your housing and living expenses and then pay them off once you graduate? No one likes taking on unnecessary debt but minimum payments and low interest education loans are the norm these days and you can restructure rather easily if you have genuine hardship after graduation.

re: school stuff, already doing what you're talking about. Actually petitioning for more financial aid for summer classes so I can survive the summer.

As for my illness... no. No name. They once told me what genes were messed up. One doctor mentioned "pain syndrome," but I don't think it's CPRS. For a while, my thyroid was failing, but we managed to fix that.

There's an IV treatment I can do, but each IV costs about $100. One full year of treatments would be over $30,000, so it's completely unthinkable. Physical therapy would help ease the pain, but, again, ridiculous amounts of stuff. I'm supposed to be supplementing myself with certain things (magnesium, for instance; my body doesn't really do uptake well), and using other stuff to help my body rid itself of stuff like benzene.

You have to understand: I haven't been able to afford a doctor for this for years. I am working through a great deal of physical pain right now, trying to remember stuff I haven't heard since, like, 2011.

 

[watershed]

re: school stuff, already doing what you're talking about. Actually petitioning for more financial aid for summer classes so I can survive the summer.

As for my illness... no. No name. They once told me what genes were messed up. One doctor mentioned "pain syndrome," but I don't think it's CPRS. For a while, my thyroid was failing, but we managed to fix that.

There's an IV treatment I can do, but each IV costs about $100. One full year of treatments would be over $30,000, so it's completely unthinkable. Physical therapy would help ease the pain, but, again, ridiculous amounts of stuff. I'm supposed to be supplementing myself with certain things (magnesium, for instance; my body doesn't really do uptake well), and using other stuff to help my body rid itself of stuff like benzene.

You have to understand: I haven't been able to afford a doctor for this for years. I am working through a great deal of physical pain right now, trying to remember stuff I haven't heard since, like, 2011.

Are you independent? Meaning when you file taxes no one is claiming you as a dependent. Are you paying for school at all or is it all thru financial aid and loans? Because if you are paying for any portion of school you can claim an education tax credit and get some money back from the IRS.

I haven't been in college for a few years now but I think it is fairly easy to get additional loans. It's harder to get grants and scholarships but I know my university definitely provided substantial loans for "room, board, and living expenses". There was even a separate loan for "additional educational expenses and materials". IIRC these loans are easy to get because they come directly from the federal government so your school isn't risking anything.

If you get some financial flexibility you should consider switching to another on campus job. Most universities, especially one with 40,000 students, have plenty of student jobs that are largely desk work. That sounds perfect for you. What school or state are you in? At my old Uni most student jobs started at $9.50 or so an hour. Does your school offer student work close to that besides your lab job?

 

[Hale-XF11]

Is there any chance you could get fired before quitting? Because if you get fired, then you might qualify to collect unemployment insurance which would get you by while you search for a different job. I'm not sure what all the rules are that apply to qualify though.

 

[DocSeuss]

Are you independent? Meaning when you file taxes no one is claiming you as a dependent. Are you paying for school at all or is it all thru financial aid and loans? Because if you are paying for any portion of school you can claim an education tax credit and get some money back from the IRS.

Already on the ball on this front. It's how I ended up having enough money to pay my car insurance and rent. It helped me survive the massive hours cut and pay stuff too.

I haven't been in college for a few years now but I think it is fairly easy to get additional loans. It's harder to get grants and scholarships but I know my university definitely provided substantial loans for "room, board, and living expenses". There was even a separate loan for "additional educational expenses and materials". IIRC these loans are easy to get because they come directly from the federal government so your school isn't risking anything.

I don't think my school provides quite as many things, but in August, I'll get like $1600. Again, though, that's August. I'm more worried about the summer.

If you get some financial flexibility you should consider switching to another on campus job. Most universities, especially one with 40,000 students, have plenty of student jobs that are largely desk work. That sounds perfect for you. What school or state are you in? At my old Uni most student jobs started at $9.50 or so an hour. Does your school offer student work close to that besides your lab job?

Trust me, I very, very, very much want to get a different job. I'm a Jayhawker. University of Kansas. There are plenty of student jobs all over campus, but most are $7.50, and, again, most won't hire until August.

Is there any chance you could get fired before quitting? Because if you get fired, then you might qualify to collect unemployment insurance which would get you by while you search for a different job. I'm not sure what all the rules are that apply to qualify though.

Problem is, you have to earn X amount of dollars to be able to qualify for unemployment, and I don't make enough.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

Also, have you tried talking to your Dean of students? He/she would have to be Ebenezer Scrooge if they heard your story of financial difficulty, medical infirmity, and job uncertainty and didn't talk to someone in admissions about getting you a more competitive financial aid package. There's no shame in taking a handout if you're in need. That's what these admins are there for.