a people, a battlefield
East and West
the lines are drawn
how are you to live
the fear of death is so close
crimes are in our heads
are we ignorant and blind
afraid to swallow our pride
--------------------Political shit ends here.-----------------------------
Editor's Note: The headers are supposed to say
to the Official 2008 Olympics Thread. I am your host, Kara K. And (you may call me Kara), world renown:
Lots and lots and lots and lots of countries. (With varying degrees of participants, naturally.)
Events from this year's Olympiad will come from the following categories:
Archery
Athletics (track and field events)
Badminton
Baseball
Basketball
Beach Volleyball
Boxing
Canoe/Kayak (Flatwater)
Canoe/Kayak (Slalom)
Cycling (BMX)
Cycling (Mountain Bike)
Cycling (Road)
Cycling (Track)
Diving
Equestrian
Fencing
Football (Soccer)
Gymnastics (Artistic)
Gymnastics (Rhythmic)
Trampoline
Handball
Hockey
Judo
Modern Pentathlon
Rowing
Sailing
Shooting
Softball
Swimming
Synchronized Swimming
Table Tennis
Taekwondo
Tennis
Triathlon
Volleyball
Water Polo
Weightlifting
Wrestling
The full schedule can be found here.
Locations of individual events within the city can be found here.
Additional Locations:
Football preliminaries - Tianjin, Shanghai, Shenyang, Qinhuangdao
Sailing - Qingdao
Equestrian - Hong Kong
The opening ceremonies are on 8 August 2008 and the closing ceremony occurs on 24 August 2008.
Long story short, we're supposed to put aside all our differences and enjoy the beauty of athletic competition because hey, who doesn't like table tennis? And while the cynic in me does scoff at this a bit, billions of people do watch the games.
So I guess they kinda do do their job. Sure there is the cheating, the violence, the politics and the boycotts, but nothing pan-global is going to go off without a hitch, right?
Now I am still somewhat skeptical of their necessity since nationalism (especially the ethno-linguistic kind) is a fairly pernicious ideology and international competitions more often than not encourage it but that is a discussion for another place and time.
If you don't like my laws I am sad because I am a benevolent lawgiver but ultimately must say tough shit. I got the gold, bitch. And as Jafar said in Aladdin, whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
All the time I have to here people that aren't Americans harp on about how fat and lazy Americans are. Sometimes I just want to shout:
but then I realize that the Olympics are a regular event and at the Olympics we fucking beat the shit out of you haters in pretty much everything which negates your tired stereotyping. We run faster, we lift harder, we cheat more sophisticated. Chins out, it's time to take your licks. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
P.S. To our distinguished hosts, it must suck to still be 123 aggregate medals behind a country that no longer exists (East Germany). Nascent superpower? Fucking please.
East and West
the lines are drawn
how are you to live
the fear of death is so close
crimes are in our heads
are we ignorant and blind
afraid to swallow our pride
--------------------Political shit ends here.-----------------------------
Editor's Note: The headers are supposed to say
- Welcome
- Who?
- What?
- Where?
- When?
- Why?
- Rules
- Winner?
to the Official 2008 Olympics Thread. I am your host, Kara K. And (you may call me Kara), world renown:
- drunkard
- impartial observer
- general lover of sport
Lots and lots and lots and lots of countries. (With varying degrees of participants, naturally.)
Events from this year's Olympiad will come from the following categories:
Archery
Athletics (track and field events)
Badminton
Baseball
Basketball
Beach Volleyball
Boxing
Canoe/Kayak (Flatwater)
Canoe/Kayak (Slalom)
Cycling (BMX)
Cycling (Mountain Bike)
Cycling (Road)
Cycling (Track)
Diving
Equestrian
Fencing
Football (Soccer)
Gymnastics (Artistic)
Gymnastics (Rhythmic)
Trampoline
Handball
Hockey
Judo
Modern Pentathlon
Rowing
Sailing
Shooting
Softball
Swimming
Synchronized Swimming
Table Tennis
Taekwondo
Tennis
Triathlon
Volleyball
Water Polo
Weightlifting
Wrestling
The full schedule can be found here.
- Who? Beijing, People's Republic of China
- What? The capital of emperors, nationalists, foreign puppets, Maoists and proto-fascists, Beijing is an ancient and interesting corner of the world.
- Where? Beijing is in the northeast part of the PRC, kind of near the Bohai Sea. Shit just look at the map I posted!
- When? Like I said, Beijing is as old as the hills. If you held a gun to my head and demanded something more objective, I'd say it was first settled around 473 BCE, with the caveat that I got that from Wikipedia and Wikipedia is written by lying Euros.
- Why? The IOC wants to hear you say, "make money, money!"
Locations of individual events within the city can be found here.
Additional Locations:
Football preliminaries - Tianjin, Shanghai, Shenyang, Qinhuangdao
Sailing - Qingdao
Equestrian - Hong Kong
The opening ceremonies are on 8 August 2008 and the closing ceremony occurs on 24 August 2008.
Long story short, we're supposed to put aside all our differences and enjoy the beauty of athletic competition because hey, who doesn't like table tennis? And while the cynic in me does scoff at this a bit, billions of people do watch the games.
So I guess they kinda do do their job. Sure there is the cheating, the violence, the politics and the boycotts, but nothing pan-global is going to go off without a hitch, right?
Now I am still somewhat skeptical of their necessity since nationalism (especially the ethno-linguistic kind) is a fairly pernicious ideology and international competitions more often than not encourage it but that is a discussion for another place and time.
- Troll troll troll. This isn't gaming side where you have to hide the fact you care more about Nintendo than moving out of your parents' basement with stealth trolls. Be loud. Be proud. Flaunt it like you stole it. Etc.
- Be funny. This is partially related to the above but needs its own line item for the sake of clarity. I am not here for your opinions or analysis. When I want those I will go someplace that has actual smart people talking about the games. What I do want is to laugh, and nothing gets me laughing like some good trolls (especially when thin-skinned folks start whining about them) and since any idiot can make me laugh because I myself am an idiot, I come to you GAF.
- There are spoilers. Television broadcasts, tape delays and internet streams will not sync up across the globe for this competition. If you are here in this thread at any point in time, someone will probably be watching an event you have not seen and they will post comments about what they are watching. If you are bothered by this go take a long walk off a short cliff, I am not highlighting spoiler text. It is asinine in movie, book and television threads and it is certifiable madness in a sports one.
- Cast your lot. I hate it when lurkers come out of the woodwork in sports threads, troll, then don't identify who they back themselves. Quid pro quo is awesome, brothers and sisters, and as such I would very much appreciate it if you identified who you are backing in your first post in the thread or don an avatar making it clear for everyone so that we might troll back in kind. Time permitting I may or may not keep a running log for newcomers centralizing all this information.
- No whiners. I am sorry your father was a failure of a man and never told you to suck it up in your formative years. Officiating is an imperfect institution and until we come up with something better, mistakes both deliberate and intentional (read: bribes, cheating) can and will happen. Champions don't let someone else hold them back, end of story.
- Read my fucking OP completely. I spent a lot of time on it because I love each and every one of you. GAF also has that sitewide rule about banning people that don't read them, so I am just watching out for your accounts!
- The Tower of Babel fell down. Feel free to talk to your comrades in your shared tongue(s) here. It would be nice if most of your posts were in English though because I value what you have to say and would like to know what it is you are saying most of the time. Also I don't think the mods will appreciate a bunch of posts in something other than English and I don't want this thread locked.
- I am a solipsist. Don't correct me. Ever. I don't care if I said something wrong in another language or if I said Team USA basketball is unstoppable. You are not me and thus I don't care because you are part of some shared illusion designed to torture me for the sum total of my miserable existence.
- Can the Tibet shit. Acceptable mention of Tibet: "The Chicoms are so intimidating they have to invade a country of Buddhist monks. Soooo scary." Unacceptable mention of Tibet: "I can't believe the IOC awarded the games to the PRC. Don't they know they are occupying a country blah blah blah cliche blah blah." The IOC made a mistake awarding the games here. None of us can do anything about that so shitting up my thread doesn't do anyone any good. Besides, some screwball(s) will fuck something up over there and embarrass the Chicoms during the games. (It's too tempting an arena to make a political statement in. Like what happened during the torch relay.)
If you don't like my laws I am sad because I am a benevolent lawgiver but ultimately must say tough shit. I got the gold, bitch. And as Jafar said in Aladdin, whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
All the time I have to here people that aren't Americans harp on about how fat and lazy Americans are. Sometimes I just want to shout:
but then I realize that the Olympics are a regular event and at the Olympics we fucking beat the shit out of you haters in pretty much everything which negates your tired stereotyping. We run faster, we lift harder, we cheat more sophisticated. Chins out, it's time to take your licks. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
P.S. To our distinguished hosts, it must suck to still be 123 aggregate medals behind a country that no longer exists (East Germany). Nascent superpower? Fucking please.
