Preamble: It may only take a second to score a goal but it takes three years of mutual loathing and, yes, fear to produce the gruesome goalless draw that's likely to unfold tonight. At least that's the pessimistic way of previewing the 14th meeting of Chelsea and Liverpool since October 2004. But allow me to play Joanna to you, the Eddy Grants of the world, by giving you hope: I reckon Liverpool won't seek to suffocate Chelsea as they have in their previous four Champions League meetings because Rafa Benitez is surely aware that this Chelsea side are eminently capable of winning in Anfield next week if necessary - so a 0-0 draw would not be a good result for Liverpool: they must try to exploit the absences of the increasingly effective Michael Ballack and the simply awesome Michael Essien by going for victory at the Bridge. Or at least an away goal.
Why West Ham have nothing to do with European football: Alans Pardew and Curbishley selected loafers like Hayden Mullins and Niger Quashie ahead of Javier Mascherano before the mindless Hammers gleefully offloaded him to Liverpool. Tonight Benitez starts him instead of the excellent Momo Sissoko - and it's the right decision: the Argentinian's intelligent vitality has been invaluable in recent games, eclipsing even that of the Malian. Essien would probably steamroller him, of course, and scrambling with the ever-improving John Obi Mikel may still prove a mission too far - but it promises to be a high-quality duel.
Other notable selections include the crucial return of Ricardo Carvalho to Chelsea's defence, of which he - not England's John Terry - is the rock. The decision to deploy Paulo Ferreira at right-back rather than the more offensive Geremi or Lassana Diarra suggests Mourinho is worried about John Arne Riise, who, along with Steven Gerrard, is Liverpool's most likely source of a goal tonight (slow of foot and wild of finish, Dirk Kuyt is the worst Liverpool striker since Paul Stewart; Craig Bellamy offers nothing but speed, which Chelsea are well equipped to cope with).
Steve Finnan has provided more assists than any other Liverpool player in this season's Champions League but he's out injured. So in comes Alvaro Arbeloa. The inclusion of Boudewijn Zenden in midfield is a spit in the eye to common sense. I can only think that, having won the competition with Djimi Traoré in 2005, superstitious Benitez thinks that picking one player who has no business being at one of the best clubs brings luck. Or maybe he thinks the Dutchman's black belt in judo could come in handy if a fight breaks out. Which, given the way Mourinho has been stirring things up all week, is not impossible.