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[Oppo]

Ben Kuchera is just about the worst writer in Earth history isn't he

i mean DualShock 4's amazing quality notwithstanding, that article was painful to read.

I swear he does this thing where he basically bumps his profile with a crazy article every 4-6 weeks.

"Hey guys, used games are stupid, fuck you all! Hey guys, touching a DS4 is like touching boobs!" etc.

Edit

utter lack of fulfillment of mission statement

owch

 

[DukeTogo1300]

Hmm, this sounds a little dewritos for a PS4 comment.

Spoiler

:3

 

[Valnen]

The sticks are still placed incorrectly.

Nah, it's everyone else that's doing it wrong.

Huh, what'd adamc01 get banned for?

I don't know but this thread seems to be turning into a graveyard for some reason.

 

[GillianSeed79]

So Kuchera, what's the PS4 controller feel like?

Kuchera: You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.

 

[Shambles]

.

Great big bags of sand...
Edit: nooooooo

 

[Jake Tower]

PS4: It's like boob you play on the couch.

 

[sibarraz]

Worst if than that kind of comment normally comes from people who never had sex and don't want to tell everyone

 

[AppleSmack]

The media is in love with the PS4 now. I'm starting to think that the more worship articles they have, the more hits they get.

 

[Croyles]

What an unintentionally funny review...

I'm looking forward to the DS4 and it seems great, but man, this was a terrible article!

 

[Shaneus]

You know how when you grab a woman's breast...it feels like...a bag of sand.

Came to this thread, searched for "bag of sand"... was not disappointed. Well done.

 

[akidnamededdy]

Can we compile a list somewhere of gaming journalists who don't write like they're prepubescent boys? This shit is just embarrassing.

 

[Cels]

I don't know but this thread seems to be turning into a graveyard for some reason.

i count five casualties in this thread so far

 

[Marmaladefire]

I have no idea why people think gamers are blabbering man children

 

[Yagharek]

That writing is embarrassing. Where does PA find these people?

 

[JDSN]

 

[Auto_aim1]

That guy was excited to share his thoughts. Tbh it's fine compared to all the dull stuff game journalists write about. Although, that comparison should have been avoided.

 

[rytake]

PS controller evolved, at first glance it seems nice, but seeing its not enough i wanna touch and feels it too

 

[akidnamededdy]

That guy was excited to share his thoughts. Tbh it's fine compared to all the dull stuff game journalists write about. Although, that comparison should have been avoided.

Nobody's mad at the guy for sharing his opinion on how great the PS4 controller is, but he couldn't have done it without talking about how many boners he popped while he was holding it?

 

[0xCA2]

That was really, really gross.

 

[Cels]

That writing is embarrassing. Where does PA find these people?

ars technica

 

[TheExodu5]

Considering Penny Arcade's readership, he might as well have equated it to walking on the moon for the first time. For many of PA's readers, his description will be about as effective as trying to describe the color blue to a person born blind.

Can we avoid stereotyping an entire userbase? Thanks.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

Can we avoid stereotyping an entire userbase? Thanks.

I didn't know we weren't allowed to make jokes about a comedic comic strip site. Nobody told me this was serious business.

 

[Replicant]

Regardless of the quality of DS4, this article is embarrassing and pathetic.

 

[nib95]

Penny Arcade is actually the worst. Eurgh.

 

[Anuxinamoon]

To bad I canny relate to that boob description. :/

Dude needs to get out more.

 

[Basketball]

Judging by the responses here, you'd think that hyperbole was a sacred communication tool for use only by Gaffers.

I'm not claiming this guy is actually a good writer.

Its what we do best.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I do with the sticks incorrectly shit would stop. It never happens this much in Xbox threads.

because they are.... placed correctly?

I'm curious to see direct comparisons between the 2 controllers. Xbox won the last 2 gens hands down in the controller war, but this is sounding promising. being that I'm jumping off the burning xbox ship, this is great news.

 

[Prologue]

Change the left analog with the D-pad and then we'll talk .

 

[uguus]

Uh....
That was creepy.

 

[Shaneus]

Can we compile a list somewhere of gaming journalists who don't write like they're prepubescent boys? This shit is just embarrassing.

Gotcha covered:

 

[Yagharek]

Gotcha covered:

Retro Gamer are about the only professional writers in the entire games journalism business.

 

[Zaptruder]

I find it amusing that the enthusiastic hyperbole of one game journo has so many gamers up in a hyperbolic rage over the quality of his writing.

Hey gamers... you're the stock of writers that people like Kuchera are drawn from. Funnily enough.


To give Kuchera some interpretive charity - he's just saying that the small but significant improvements in every arena stack up, and cause the DS4 feel like the best controller that he's ever used.

Fair enough.

 

[Odrion]

I have no idea why people think gamers are blabbering man children

In Blacklight: Retribution you use the DS4's touchpad to do exactly this.

it's incredible.

 

[SouthernDragon]

This seems as slightly excessive.

 

[Yagharek]

I find it amusing that the enthusiastic hyperbole of one game journo has so many gamers up in a hyperbolic rage over the quality of his writing.

Hey gamers... you're the stock of writers that people like Kuchera are drawn from. Funnily enough.

The difference being, most people here have skills in other real fields.

 

[Zaptruder]

The difference being, most people here have skills in other real fields.

People just gotta rage. Feels good. Or something.

 

[MomoPufflet]

You would think holding a DS4 would be like holding two penises instead.

Now we're getting somewhere!

 

[Septimus Prime]

I held it at E3. It felt...like a DS3.

I held the Xbone controller, as well. It felt like a 360 controller.

 

[CrazyDude]

Can't wait to try it out for myself.

But I can't imagine any controller ever being better than the 360 controller. It's just too good.

360 controller feels bloated.

 

[Shaneus]

so embarrassing.

What, that he's procreating? I know.

 

[QaaQer]

because they are.... placed correctly?

asymmetric vs symmetric boobs?

That is just so awesome for this thread

 

[QaaQer]

I want a pair of bigass fake controllers to play with.

So you want the controller to feel like the first time you touched bigass?

 

[Justmarbz]

Yeah, not sure why but my brain still just prefers the offset sticks.

agreedm. nne more some.

 

[EviLore]

You're slipping, gaf ;b

 

[Shaneus]

You're slipping, gaf ;b

http://abload.de/img/untitled-2ozp52.gif[img][/QUOTE]
God damnit, I read that in my head as "jaf". What's happening to me?

 

[PairOfFilthySocks]

Who the fuck nuzzles their face against a boob saying 'who's a good boob'?

 

[Auto_aim1]

You're slipping, gaf ;b

http://abload.de/img/untitled-2ozp52.gif

So how's it? Better than DS3?

 

[Thoraxes]

I guess this means i'll make it to second base in the fall, then hopefully get asked to the Sadie Hawkins.

 

[sleepykyo]

Perfect for Dead or alive then right?

It'll probably have a better d-pad and all the complaints about the stick placement must mean the d-pad is in the perfect spot for fighting games.

 

[DaSorcerer7]

Don't really expect much from game journalism, but this is embarrassing even by their standards