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[WickedAngel]

The last line is TRUE

since when did her jail time become more important to the average American than the war?

The funny part isn't that it is or isn't true. The point is that she wouldn't have said something like that.

 

[Thriller]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

Sources say that all the other inmates hope that paris will be released ASAP because the noise she is producing is too mutch to take.
She is yelling non stop that this is not done and that she wants to go to her mother.
One of the inmates suggested placing her in a sound proof isolation cell

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Cheerilee]

Still not a bargain.

And whoever owns her now should at least be asking 1 cigarette per-pop. Unless she's so annoying that they're willing to pay to get rid of her. In which case they should make a better offer than "free" and get rid of her sooner rather than later.


(I kid. I know there's no chance in hell she's seeing "real prison".)

 

[Slurpy]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

Sources say that all the other inmates hope that paris will be released ASAP because the noise she is producing is too mutch to take.
She is yelling non stop that this is not done and that she wants to go to her mother.
One of the inmates suggested placing her in a sound proof isolation cell

:lol :lol :lol

BUT BUT BUT.. her statement!!

 

[mre]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

Sources say that all the other inmates hope that paris will be released ASAP because the noise she is producing is too mutch to take.
She is yelling non stop that this is not done and that she wants to go to her mother.
One of the inmates suggested placing her in a sound proof isolation cell

:lol :lol :lol

So I wonder if this falls under the LA County Sheriff's definition of "good behavior?"

 

[Trakdown]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

Sources say that all the other inmates hope that paris will be released ASAP because the noise she is producing is too mutch to take.
She is yelling non stop that this is not done and that she wants to go to her mother.
One of the inmates suggested placing her in a sound proof isolation cell

:lol :lol :lol

They need to call in Wayne Brady. He'll get her ass in line.

And I can't believe people are showing support for a repeat drunk driver.

 

[Mejilan]

:lol

If she weren't in celeb-solitary, how much screaming do you think it would take before someone (inmate, guard) snapped and Shivved her in the McRibs?

 

[Stoney Mason]

The last line is TRUE

since when did her jail time become more important to the average American than the war?

Since about 1984 in America. Where have you been?

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

:lol

If she weren't in celeb-solitary, how much screaming do you think it would take before someone (inmate, guard) snapped and Shivved her in the McRibs?

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

Why don't they realize their actions and put her back on house arrest or at the least transfer her to a better facility? She deserves at least that?

 

[xsarien]

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

The only way I'd believe that is if she happened to have a dog named "Charity."

 

[Mejilan]

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

Sorry, I don't release my sex tapes for the mass-consumption of freaks everywhere. At least not for free.

Why don't they realize their actions and put her back on house arrest or at the least transfer her to a better facility? She deserves at least that?

Because she's ****ing full of shit. Like usual. Crime. Time. Yada yada yada.

:lol

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

Why don't they realize their actions and put her back on house arrest or at the least transfer her to a better facility? She deserves at least that?

did...did you Photoshop her face onto Mother Teresa? please tell me you're joking.

 

[Mejilan]

did...did you Photoshop her face onto Mother Teresa? please tell me you're joking.

I noticed that, but felt it was way too easy. :lol

Spoiler

Kinda like Paris?

 

[WickedAngel]

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

Why don't they realize their actions and put her back on house arrest or at the least transfer her to a better facility? She deserves at least that?

:lol Better facility. She's already in one of the best facilities in the nation.

Her charitable donations don't put her above the law. It's not like she earned the money anyways.

 

[PS360]

Did anyone hear Paris' statement?

She said that people should not be focusing on her case but "worrying about more important matters like our troops overseas in Iraq."

Hmm..yea..I'm sure she came up with that all by herself. The funny thing is that some, impressionably young people (probably girls) will think Paris a caring human being for making such a bold, selfless statement as if it actually came from her.

 

[Cheerilee]

How unnecessary. I bet Paris has given more to charity last year than you ever have.

Giving blowjobs to rap stars doesn't count as charity. Not even if they're black.

Hey, maybe that's why she turned down the offer to do community service and said she'd rather take the jail time. 100 hours of community servicing? Not even Paris is enough of a trooper to handle that.

 

[Darko]

did...did you Photoshop her face onto Mother Teresa? please tell me you're joking.

:lol
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6687815#post6687815
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6691978#post6691978
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6691852#post6691852
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6678579#post6678579
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6678379#post6678379

and this little gem

poor paris she totally doesnt deserve this and the loser behind the computers are all laughing but they have no right because SHE IS A CELEBRITY and she is known for being who she is and she cannot be who she is in prison and not only that but she will have to deal with the consequences and people hareassing her more because she is a celebrity and I LOVE YOU PARIS i wanna go to your party wen u get out LUV YA!!!!!

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

I wonder if that's him in the spidey mask? :lol

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

Sources say that all the other inmates hope that paris will be released ASAP because the noise she is producing is too mutch to take.
She is yelling non stop that this is not done and that she wants to go to her mother.
One of the inmates suggested placing her in a sound proof isolation cell

:lol :lol :lol

She must be thinking about all the men and women serving overseas and worrying herself into a hysterical frenzy.

IT'S OK PARIS! THEY'RE THINKING OF YOU TOO!

 

[MIMIC]

LOL just read this :

Paris is still hysterical and is under 24 hr surveillance because she is screaming day and night.
She still refuses to wear her orange detainee suit and nobody knows what to do with her.

How can you "refuse" to do something in jail??

 

[fmcato]

As must as I'd like to hate her, it pains me to see her current situation being so traumatic to her. As in, she's proving to be a totally underdeveloped adult with no known real handicap like Down syndrome or something like that.

Makes you really value education.

Edit: but yeah, she'll have to abide by the law.

 

[velvet_nitemare]

She's crying for her mother?

How old is she again?

 

[NZNova]

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

As must as I'd like to hate her, it pains me to see her current situation being so traumatic to her.

Fuck that. She's in a cell by herself, isolated from the general population for some 40 odd days and after that she gets to go back to her posh life with millions and millions of dollars without any personal responsibility whatsoever. If she and her bitch mother are finding this traumatic then they need to open their goddamn eyes and see what's going on in the rest of the world.

No sympathy. No mercy.

 

[fmcato]

Fuck that. She's in a cell by herself, isolated from the general population for some 40 odd days and after that she gets to go back to her posh life with millions and millions of dollars without any personal responsibility whatsoever. If her and her bitch mother are finding this traumatic then they need to open their goddamn eyes and see what's going on in the rest of the world.

No sympathy. No mercy.

I agree, I find the punishment completely light. What pains me is not the punishment, herself or her rich family, but the way the upbringing of someone can go wrong when you can offer the best possibilities.

 

[Blackace]

How can you "refuse" to do something in jail??

:lol :lol

Shoot I'd like to see some brother from the streets do that..

"Nope not going to do that!"

"Alrighty...one LAPD style ass-whupping coming up!"

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I agree, I find the punishment completely light. What pains me is not the punishment, herself or her rich family, but the way the upbringing of someone can go wrong when you can offer the best possibilities.

Blame her enabler-mother.

 

[Dr_Cogent]

I wonder if that's him in the spidey mask? :lol

I can tell you it's certainly not me.

:lol

I'm glad to see this thread is still going strong.

 

[krypt0nian]

So are we on a suicide-watch countdown here at GAF?

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

So are we on a suicide-watch countdown here at GAF?

Killing her would only make her stronger.

 

[Blackace]

So are we on a suicide-watch countdown here at GAF?

now that would be pretty funny.. really most times I do not find the real death of a person funny at all.. but if she killed herself or really tried to I would have no choice but to laugh.. 45 days and she is back to he plush life of dropping n-bombs on tapes with her rich friends.. and she would rather end it than deal with the rough life of sitting alone eating candy bars for 40 more days..

 

[sonatinas]

I can tell you it's certainly not me.

:lol

I'm glad to see this thread is still going strong.

 

[Dr_Cogent]

:lol

Pretty far from the truth, although I could stand to lose some weight. HAHA!

 

[Lord Error]

HAHA, who was that saying "NONOOOOO"?

In case it's not answered already - by the sound of it, it seems to be "Jake Byrd". He's a comedian pretending to be demented celebrity worshiper, who goes around things like this, making ruckus.

Jake Byrd's real name is Anthony Barbieri:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Barbieri

He's goes by the name Jake Byrd in Kimmel's show.

 

[sonatinas]

:lol

Pretty far from the truth, although I could stand to lose some weight. HAHA!

It's not a reflection of you but of just others...

 

[TheOMan]

Fuck that. She's in a cell by herself, isolated from the general population for some 40 odd days and after that she gets to go back to her posh life with millions and millions of dollars without any personal responsibility whatsoever. If she and her bitch mother are finding this traumatic then they need to open their goddamn eyes and see what's going on in the rest of the world.

No sympathy. No mercy.

 

[Dr_Cogent]

So are we on a suicide-watch countdown here at GAF?

I don't want Paris to die. I don't hate her. I should actually pray for her more. She's a spoiled brat enabled by her irresponsible parents. Her parents are probably more to blame about her situation at this point than her, but she's also an adult woman and is responsible for her own actions at the same time. Both parties are ****ed up.

This isn't the last we will hear of Paris Hilton I am sure. Something big (and probably bad) will happen to her based on her history and trends. She's just a dumb rich kid with no idea about anything in the real world in the slightest. No responsibilities + virtually unlimited cash + ignorance of the world = a dangerous combination for a kid and adult following.

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Totally. Someone sweep her goddamn leg.

 

[Dr_Cogent]

Totally. Someone sweep her goddamn leg.

Holy shit, I didn't realize that was Karate Kid until you wrote that.

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

two things.

One: her self-imposed ban on sex is due to expire next month. :lol

Two: how can you have an occupation of 'socialite'? I was looking at the wiki and it lists that as an occupation. so weird. It also lists entrepreneur and that fails wikipedias own definition:

An entrepreneur (a loanword from French introduced, loved and first defined by the Irish economist Richard Cantillon) is a person who undertakes and operates a new enterprise or venture and assumes some accountability for the inherent risks.

I really doubt she assumed any of the accountability for any of the risks for the various ventures.

 

[Zen]

http://abc.net.au.newsitems.200706.999584001215588457.851154.html.macksfoto.com/s1942069.htm

Celebrity Socialite Dies in County Jail
CELEBRITY SOCIALITE Paris Hilton has died in jail, Monday 11th June 2007 at 10:00am AEST. The Hilton Hotel heiress, aged 26, was believed to have commited suicide in a Los Angeles county jail during jail time for Drink Driving. A lawyer for Paris Hilton says the socialite would not have commited suicide, although this is unconfirmed.

"Paris Hilton turned herself in to begin serving her sentence for violating probation at a Los Angeles County Jail located in Lynwood, California," Richard Hutton said in a statement.

"This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions," Hilton said in the statement.

"In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make.

"Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence."

Hilton was released from jail due to medical reasons, although this was shortlived as she returned to the jail shortly later. Celebrity news site TMZ.com said Paris' medical problems may in fact have been her cause of death.

Hilton's spokesman, Elliot Mintz, declined comment, saying he was awaiting word from the sheriff's department.

A sheriff's official declined to confirm Hilton's cause of death.

Hilton was arrested for drunken driving in September and in January, she pleaded no contest - the equivalent of a guilty plea - to a reduced charge of alcohol-related reckless driving.

She was sentenced to three years' probation and had her licence suspended.

But the heiress was caught driving on a suspended licence in February when police stopped her for going over the speed limit with her headlights out at night.

A traffic court judge ruled on May 4 that Hilton's latest offence constituted a probation violation and sentenced her to 45 days in jail.

Officials are still yet to comment on Paris' cause of death.

- Reuters

 

[MassiveAttack]

Holy shit... she's dead.

 

[Mejilan]

Wtf. It's not being reported anywhere else...?

Not a funny joke. I'm happy to have her sit in jail for 40 days, but that's it.

Edit - Ah. It is a joke.

 

[perryfarrell]

That can't be true. It's reported nowhere else.

 

[perryfarrell]

Also, it's not Monday June 11th yet. Apparently that site can see into the future.

 

[marvelharvey]

Also, it's not Monday June 11th yet. Apparently that site can see into the future.

Did you click on the link? There's a clue to their time-traveling in the top left corner.

 

[distantmantra]

Also, it's not Monday June 11th yet. Apparently that site can see into the future.

It's from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), so that would explain it being Monday.

But still, it's fake.

 

[xsarien]

Also, it's not Monday June 11th yet. Apparently that site can see into the future.

The site's located in Australia.

 

[mj1108]

http://abc.net.au.newsitems.200706.999584001215588457.851154.html.macksfoto.com/s1942069.htm

Damn Aussie news.....got our hopes up there for a second.

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

Also, it's not Monday June 11th yet. Apparently that site can see into the future.

and apparently others don't know what time zones are.