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[mnannola]

After reading those horror stories about parents forgetting their kids in the back seat, I would put whatever I needed for work (backpack, laptop, etc.) in the backseat. This way there is no way I would be able to forget my kid back there.

I couldn't get from the article though did they leave the kid there because they forgot the kid was in there, or did they leave the kid in there because they thought they were just going in for a few minutes and then ended up staying a few hours. I think that is important.

 

[slit]

That is not a fucking accident! SOOOOOOOO fucking tired of people using "accident" when something is pure fucking stupidity or negligence.

OMG CRASHED MY CAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
OMG KILLED BABY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!


Get a fucking clue you God damn pieces of shit.

You getting angry changes nothing about the situation. Science has an explanation you just refuse to hear it. Burying your head in the sand because the truth goes against your emotional reaction is superficial.

 

[luulubuu]

It's an accident. Punishing the parent won't stop this from happening. People forget their kids in the car for the same reason that they lose the remote or don't need to actively think about how to drive to work everyday. It's about your level of engagement in routine tasks, not a neglect issue. People just have to take these tragedies to heart, hopefully that'll jolt them awake and prevent it in the future.

Did you just compared the life of a person with a fucking controller.

 

[God Dayumm]

Do you check the backseat every time you get out of your car?

Yes. I also check for dents and glance under, driving is so much more than sitting my ass in the car and pressing the pedals. I've never had kids but I've had cats and there are groundhogs where I live now, so I'm mindful of whether something gets in, under or on top my car.

 

[crisdecuba]

Its called an opinion.

No sir. You said it was a matter of intelligence. You were given information showing it's not a matter of intelligence. You continue to believe it's a matter of intelligence. At that point it's no longer really a matter of opinion. More life refusal to take in new information.

 

[Donos]

Do you check the backseat every time you get out of your car?

Some do. A friend walks around his car three times (not because of kids but because he's a bit ocd).

I have little mirror which shows me the kids seat in the back. Not because of maybe forgetting her but to not having to turn my head while driving to check on her.

Like this:

 

[crisdecuba]

Don't drive if the car is making you put lives at risk. If these parents can't even be bothered to check the backseat, I wonder if they even look in the mirrors when backing up or changing lanes.

That's not the dynamic at play at all. Please read the WaPo article.

 

[DarkestHour]

You getting angry changes nothing about the situation. Science has an explanation you just refuse to hear it. Burying your head in the sand because the truth goes against your emotional reaction is superficial.

I don't even know what you're going on about.

 

[Monocle]

I don't even know what you're going on about.

That much is obvious.

 

[H.Protagonist]

The man's a parent. The topic is stupidly sensitive and scary as hell. Can't blame him for an emotional response.

But as a fellow parent you have some shared experience of how exhausting raising a kid can be and what that can do to your head. In the case of honest accidents in these kinds of situations, how can they not have a shred of empathy or understanding for how it might have happened? How devastating that would be? I find that baffling. Yes, it's an unthinkable mistake, but I'm sure the parents who do make it feel the same way. Forever.

 

[DarkestHour]

Prepare to be told you live with your mom and lack empathy and are wrong.

You're right. I forgot we live in a limp wristed world now where people can't be held accountable for stupidity and negligence. Let's pat them on the back and call it an accident. It's OK! You only killed someone on accident!

LOL!

 

[Hippopuncher12]

I never get this, why do people do this shit? It's your child for fucks sake. I hate, and feel bad leaving my children in the car when I am getting gas let alone actually going away from the car.

 

[slit]

I don't even know what you're going on about.

No, I'm sure you don't. I'm not linking the science that has already been linked 50 times in this thread. It's easy to find.

 

[DarkestHour]

But as a fellow parent you have some shared experience of how exhausting raising a kid can be and what that can do to your head. In the case of honest accidents in these kinds of situations, how can they not have a shred of empathy or understanding for how it might have happened? How devastating that would be? I find that baffling. Yes, it's an unthinkable mistake, but I'm sure the parents who do make it feel the same way. Forever.

Empathy!? For what!? This is murder.

 

[Skellig Gra]

You're right. I forgot we live in a limp wristed world now where people can't be held accountable for stupidity and negligence. Let's pat them on the back and call it an accident. It's OK! You only killed someone on accident!

LOL!

Limp wristed? So you do live with your parents still.

Atleast InsaneTiger can converse like an adult.

 

[Monocle]

You're right. I forgot we live in a limp wristed world now where people can't be held accountable for stupidity and negligence. Let's pat them on the back and call it an accident. It's OK! You only killed someone on accident!

LOL!

Did you read the Washington Post article or not? Because if you're receptive to new information, it will correct your misconceptions about this subject.

 

[Aiustis]

Maybe because I'm so used to checking a car for visible valuables, I don't think I could forget a baby.

 

[InsaneTiger]

Your posts in this thread are just embarrassing. Seriously.

What is your problem?

I can, actually. It's not his child that died. He has no right to judge. His words are despicable, along with everyone else talking the same way.

You're right, I can't judge. But something or someone will judge them.

Do you legitimately not understand the difference between an excuse and an explanation? You sound like one of those unfair parents who accuses a kid of "lying" when they accidentally said something untrue.


You're being irrational. Read that one article and face up to the fact that you're coming from a place of emotion rather than one informed by the reality of these tragedies. Ranting and raving will not change the fact that the human mind is fallible in many very well documented ways.

I react from emotion because these are children.

I don't know anymore. This whole story, this thread. I just don't agree with so many people. I'm done here.

At least darkistheway is happy.

 

[DarkestHour]

Limp wristed? So you do live with your parents still.

Atleast InsaneTiger can converse like an adult.

Yeah, you got me. I live with my parents. I have a family that includes two children. Use some common sense as to why someone may be so riled up about someone murdering a child and then witnessing the brilliant minds in the Off Topic section somehow brush it off as perfectly fine.

 

[Monocle]

I react from emotion because these are children.

So do most of the parents who make these awful mistakes, you'll find.

You really, really should read the damn article. Emotion has a place, and that place is not supplanting facts and reason in the endeavor to understand serious events.

 

[Gravy Boat]

You're right. I forgot we live in a limp wristed world now where people can't be held accountable for stupidity and negligence. Let's pat them on the back and call it an accident. It's OK! You only killed someone on accident!

LOL!

We don't just punish people for no reason, there has to be a positive outcome. What would be the positive outcome of punishing parents who lost their child in a tragic accident?

 

[slit]

We don't just punish people for no reason, there has to be a positive outcome. What would be the positive outcome of punishing parents who lost their child in a tragic accident?

He would feel better. It's about him afterall.

 

[DarkestHour]

Did you read the Washington Post article or not? Because if you're receptive to new information, it will correct your misconceptions about this subject.

What about it? I'ts negligence plain and simple. Nobody "forgets" they have a child with them. TERRIBLE PARENTS.

 

[Spyware]

It's clear that many people in this thread don't realise that most of these accidents happen because the parents truly believe that they or someone else dropped the kid off at daycare or has the kid with them. That the kid is completely safe somewhere else. Every time the kid is on their mind it's thoughs like "I hope they have fun at daycare", it's not like they forget that they have a child at all.

They don't remember not dropping them off or even that they put them in the car because our brains work like that sometimes. Extremely tragic, unfathomable actually. But that's how we work. That's how the human mind is constructed and it can happen at any time. But that's just science saying that so it can't be true, right?

 

[wvnative]

Would it be viable for there to be an automatic system that detects if someone is in the back seat when a car is locked and starts pumping AC if the temperature gets above a certain threshold?

I realise that it should be the responsibility of the parents to actually think and take care of their children, but if it saves the lives of infants/children surely it would be worth it?

Christ. We have fucking PSA commercials telling people to "be a dad". We have warning stickers in the car telling us to strap our infants in the back seat (no shit) and now we need fucking automatic AC because PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING THEIR FUCKING BABIES IN A HOT CAR?

...

I can't even...

 

[DarkestHour]

We don't just punish people for no reason, there has to be a positive outcome. What would be the positive outcome of punishing parents who lost their child in a tragic accident?

It's not an accident. Stop calling it an accident. Forgetting a child in a car for two hours is not an accident.

 

[Gravy Boat]

What about it? I'ts negligence plain and simple. Nobody "forgets" they have a child with them. TERRIBLE PARENTS.

The article you're ignoring will tell you that people do forget they have a child with them, and it happens regularly. However in most instances, it's corrected before it becomes a tragedy.

It's not an accident. Stop calling it an accident. Forgetting a child in a car for two hours is not an accident.

It really is, by definition. If they didn't do it intentionally, it's an accident.

 

[slit]

What about it? I'ts negligence plain and simple. Nobody "forgets" they have a child with them. TERRIBLE PARENTS.

Actually they do and so can you but don't let the facts get in the way of your ranting.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Yeah, you got me. I live with my parents. I have a family that includes two children. Use some common sense as to why someone may be so riled up about someone murdering a child and then witnessing the brilliant minds in the Off Topic section somehow brush it off as perfectly fine.

Murder means it was premeditated. There is no proof of that. No one is saying this is perfectly fine. We are saying we have empathy for someone in a horrible situation. Hopefully someone else can help your 2 children learn what empathy is.

 

[DarkestHour]

It's clear that many people in this thread don't realise that most of these accidents happen because the parents truly believe that they or someone else dropped the kid off at daycare or has the kid with them. That the kid is completely safe somewhere else. Every time the kid is on their mind it's thoughs like "I hope they have fun at daycare", it's not like they forget that they have a child at all.

They don't remember not dropping them off or even that they put them in the car because our brains work like that sometimes. Extremely tragic, unfathomable actually. But that's how we work. That's how the human mind is constructed and it can happen at any time. But that's just science saying that so it can't be true, right?

There's a scientific word for forgetting your child exists. STUPID.

 

[Monocle]

What about it? I'ts negligence plain and simple. Nobody "forgets" they have a child with them. TERRIBLE PARENTS.

Go ahead and read the article if you're prepared to accept that reality has more weight than the narrative you're constructing to satisfy your personal emotional impulses.

 

[Gravy Boat]

There's a scientific word for forgetting your child exists. STUPID.

This post has convinced me that you're actually just trolling. Carry on then.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Empathy!? For what!? This is murder.

If the parent legitimately forgot their kid like has been outlined as happening to others in the linked articles, then, no, it's not murder. I don't know about this particular case, but for those that did honestly make that terrible and tragic mistake I'm horrified for them, and yes, sympathetic because I can understand how it happened and am terrified of doing it myself.

 

[Griss]

Reading this Pulitzer-winning article from the Washington Post made me a lot more sympathetic toward the parents in these cases.

This. I understand it now. In fact, I can't imagine a more horrible fate than some quirk humanity's neural wiring causing you to commit the gravest mistake a human being could ever make. I have nothing but the highest sympathy for parents for whom this was a genuine accident.

On the other hand, not every case is forgotten baby syndrome. Some parents are just neglectful idiots.

 

[DarkestHour]

The article you're ignoring will tell you that people do forget they have a child with them, and it happens regularly. However in most instances, it's corrected before it becomes a tragedy.



It really is, by definition. If they didn't do it intentionally, it's an accident.

I read the article. It's bullshit. Nobody forgets their children unless they are stupid or it's on purpose.

Actually they do and so can you but don't let the facts get in the way of your ranting.

I still have no idea what you're trying to say.

Murder means it was premeditated. There is no proof of that. No one is saying this is perfectly fine. We are saying we have empathy for someone in a horrible situation. Hopefully someone else can help your 2 children learn what empathy is.

I will never be empathetic to something like this. No fucking way.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Empathy!? For what!? This is murder.

Woah, source? Bold claim there.

 

[InsaneTiger]

Different opinions in this thread but please keep it civil. My view is that I understand that this could happen but I still think some people minimize the tiny possibility more than others (not out of higher intelligence or something like that). Break of usual routine and super busy work week are no excuses to not constantly check/think about the most precious thing you have.

From the OP.

I agree. Bye.

 

[Spyware]

There's a scientific word for forgetting your child exists. STUPID.

Yeah so since I said that the parents don't forget them, they just believe they are somewhere else, they are not stupid! Good that we agree.

 

[Gravy Boat]

I read the article. It's bullshit. Nobody forgets their children unless they are stupid or it's on purpose.

Do you believe the earth is round? Or in vaccinations? Gravity, even? Why do you trust science in all these areas, but not this one? Just because it hasn't happened to you it can't happen to someone else?

Also being stupid doesn't stop something from being an accident. It's still an accident, regardless of how smart or dumb the person is.

 

[slit]

I read the article. It's bullshit. Nobody forgets their children unless they are stupid or it's on purpose.

Boy for someone who is throwing out the word stupid a lot, you sure are not helping us to identify your intelligence.

 

[Sulik2]

The sheer stupidity and carelessness of so many parents never ceases to amaze me. Don't put the mom in jail, just sterilize her. Cheaper and will save more lives in the long term.

 

[Seik]

Yeah right, maybe an 'accident' for you, but 2 hours is negligence, nothing more nothing less.

I swear, priorities these days.

 

[darkistheway]

What is your problem?


You're right, I can't judge. But something or someone will judge them.


I react from emotion because these are children.

I don't know anymore. This whole story, this thread. I just don't agree with so many people. I'm done here.

At least darkistheway is happy.

I'm not happy. I would truly rather you could feel the empathy for the mother. This is a tragic accident. She will suffer the rest of her life. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to live with this knowledge. To lose a child because of a single moment... I cannot imagine a worse judgment than the one she already faces.

 

[Monocle]

I read the article. It's bullshit. Nobody forgets their children unless they are stupid or it's on purpose.

This seems unlikely, seeing how you're directly contradicting points that the article establishes thoroughly.

The sheer stupidity and carelessness of so many parents never ceases to amaze me. Don't put the mom in jail, just sterilize her. Cheaper and will save more lives in the long term.

It's remarkable how well this comment fits into the judgemental mold the WP article describes.

 

[GhaleonEB]

So if a parent accidentally leaves their kid in a car for two hours and the kid dies, there should be absolutely no punishment? Some counseling and a "better luck next time?"

No, he or she is responsible for the child.

That is not a fucking accident! SOOOOOOOO fucking tired of people using "accident" when something is pure fucking stupidity or negligence.

OMG CRASHED MY CAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
OMG KILLED BABY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!


Get a fucking clue you God damn pieces of shit.

You are both expressing a fundamental lack of understanding and empathy, to a shocking degree.

I used to blame parents in stories like this. Then I had kids. Then I read about what modern life is doing to parenting. And i read the WaPo article.

It's not their fault and punishing them with criminal charges just further ruins already ruined lives.

I read the article. It's bullshit. Nobody forgets their children unless they are stupid or it's on purpose.

Then you didn't read the article, full stop.

 

[ReadingRambo]

We get a thread about this phenomenon every few months and it always turns into the rational people begging the irrational people to read the fucking WaPo article.

 

[rjinaz]

You know what, I'm fine with people reacting with just pure emotion. No matter how you break it down, these parents killed their children through neglect. They can be on the side of the child here. It's just a message board. The courts will decide if it was an accident or intentional and will consider scientific research and psychology.

I don't agree with them necessarily when I have read things in this thread like "it's always on purpose" but, I understand it.

I will add one caveat though. If you think that these things don't happen by accident and are just evil parents, you may not be extra careful and it could happen to you. Just be diligent.

 

[Zoe]

It's also illegal in 19 states including hotbeds like California, Nevada, Texas and Florida.
Apparently those states haven't read the Washington Post.

we should know by now that legislation isn't based on fact, but on emotion.

Those laws are for instances where parents leave their kids in the car, not when they forget their kids in the car.

 

[IggyChooChoo]

You know what, I'm fine with people reacting with just pure emotion. No matter how you break it down, these parents killed their children through neglect. They can be on the side of the child here. It's just a message board. The courts will decide if it was an accident or intentional and will consider scientific research and psychology.

I don't agree with them necessarily when I have read things in this thread like "it's always on purpose" but, I understand it.

I will add one caveat though. If you think that these things don't happen by accident and are just evil parents, you may not be extra careful and it could happen to you. Just be diligent.

Yeah. Speaking as a dad I feel like if I get too judgmental about a parent who fucks up, that I'll jinx it and it will happen to me. I recommend those back seat mirrors. They definitely help remind me that the kid is back there on days when he's quiet or asleep. That tip about leaving your stuff in the backseat is a good one, too.

 

[AlexFlame116]

Guys read the linked article. If not to agree, then at least to understand.

Attacking each other isn't going to help this thread.