So, can we talk about Actual Sunlight? Because I feel terrible about not liking it.
I want to start by saying that I'm not here to police anyone's concept of his or her own depression, and I know that the game is strongly autobiographical. With that said, the writing reads like an angsty, nihilistic Holden Caulfield clone is the main character of the game - which maybe is the point, but which I guess doesn't connect with me at all anymore as I went through the stages of agreeing with Holden himself totally at about fourteen, hating the little bastard at about twenty-two, and learning to have sympathy for him and understanding where he's coming from by the time I was twenty-six.
Evan, in this game, is someone who I think I would just be utterly fucking annoyed by in real life, which makes me feel bad, but which I can't help but admit. I don't think he's funny, I think his projection of what people look for out of life (like his silly Alan Wake rant) is so absurdly nihilistic as to be alien to me - I can't really understand him as anything other than a cartoon character. I'm sure this says terrible things about me more than it does about the character or the writing, but I was just going through the motions clicking on everything and reading it and rolling my eyes by about halfway through.
I was hoping for something as moving as, say, Allie Brosh writing about her bout with severe depression in Hyperbole-and-a-Half, and while I don't expect everyone's depression to manifest in that way (or in any specific way), I also found Evan so nihilistic and sarcastic that I couldn't care about him on any level other than that suicide is fucking horrible and I don't want anyone to feel that s/he has to take his or her own life. By the end of this sucker, I was sort of numb to Evan and his fate. Is that the point? Am I just an inhuman monster? I don't think either of those are quite true, but I'm not sure that I should just feel like, "OK, I'm moving on from this game and it didn't make me feel anything except tired of rolling my eyes."
Actually, I take that back. I will give this game one thing: It did make me feel something else, which is that I felt bad for not feeling very bad for Evan.