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[Why For?]

Kratos is basicly Hercules. Son of Zues, murders his family in a blind rage and accomplishes huge feats. The similarities are many.

I would argue that the only time Kratos had a personality is the first game. The rest of the time, when it slipped out of Jaffe's hands he became a sellable action figure in a untapped setting. The first game also follows a very clear and solid plot structure and has a good character arc. The second game might be a better game but it's a worse story and has a terrible plot (see also: Mass Effect 2).

So, Snuggy, I'd agree with you on GoW 2 and 3. Not the first game.

Thank you.

Also, the OP is the reason I keep trying to tell people why 1 is better than 2 and 3.

The first game focuses far more on the action, and less on puzzles and QTEs. God of War 2, while I still loved, was really just a QTE fest wrapped in a God of War game.

3 corrected the balance though I thought. 3s biggest problem, although nothing major, was probably the pacing. Just seemed a bit off.

God of War 1 was pretty much action game perfection on a disc. Top 3 of all time for me along with Zelda OoT and Halo.

 

[Celsior]

LOL @ Jokers trashing Bioshock. STFU and go play Generic FPS #317.

Worst game of the generation by far

 

[Grayman]

God of War is awesome if you turn it off after the hydra

 

[Why For?]

Worst game of the generation by far

I don't understand statements like this when games like CSI, Beowulf and Lost exist.

Seriously.

So you're telling me the CSI game is better than Bioshock?

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

It's called hyperbole. Not a fan of it myself but if you aren't used to hyperbole on the internet by now then you must be new to it.

 

[Combichristoffersen]

I don't understand statements like this when games like CSI, Beowulf and Lost exist.

Seriously.

So you're telling me the CSI game is better than Bioshock?

If Horatio is in the CSI game: yes
If Horatio is not in the CSI game: no

 

[Celsior]

I don't understand statements like this when games like CSI, Beowulf and Lost exist.

Seriously.

So you're telling me the CSI game is better than Bioshock?

No being sarcastic, The game had a good idea but horrible execution which what everyone is posting. It was pretty boring and never beat it. I think people just can't hear complaints about games they consider godly.

Like Zelda fans with OOT
or Team ICO fans with anything

 

[Enco]

Angry Birds sucks.

Why do people think it doesn't suck?

* It sold loads
* Lots of levels to play
* You kill pigs

Why does it suck?

* No goddamn skill
As someone previously mentioned, there is zero skill involved. You fling a bird in a random direction and it goes 'kinda' in that direction. No true accuracy.

* Glue physics
Everything is stuck together with the crappy glue you get in primary school. Physics game my ass. You can see blocks nearing a fall only to stick to the block underneath it.

* Lots of REPETITIVE levels
Every level is the same with a few blocks arranged differently and a new background.

* Just crap
It's boring, it's repetitive and requires no skill.

 

[Yasae]

Games that are not even close to being sacred cows:

-Halo anything
-Final Fantasy anything (no, not even Final Fantasy VI.... Maybe Tactics)
-Grand Theft Auto anything
-Assassin's Creed anything
-Anything Elder Scrolls........ Okay maybe not Morrowind. I'm waiting on a good roast for that (atrocious combat, walls of text, etc. It would be easy!)
-Gran Turismo anything
-Kingdom Hearts anything
-Metal Gear anything (even MGS 3!)

Any posts "roasting" these are Textbook Trolls™ taken from the Big Book of How to Troll the Internet or Something Like It™.

Still waiting on Snuggler's post for RE4 and why it's basically just a third-person shooter (we had third-person shooters BEFORE RE4, by the way) that had Resident Evil slapped on it.

 

[Snuggles]

Any posts "roasting" these are Textbook Trolls™ taken from the Big Book of How to Troll the Internet or Something Like It™.

Either way, those types of posts are more than welcome because they're fun to read, unlike the posts that just bitch about what counts as a scared cow.
Who cares.

Still waiting on Snuggler's post for RE4 and why it's basically just a third-person shooter (we had third-person shooters BEFORE RE4, by the way) that had Resident Evil slapped on it.

I like how this has nothing to do with anything I've posted in this thread.

 

[Druz]

Games that are not even close to being sacred cows:

-Halo anything
-Final Fantasy anything (no, not even Final Fantasy VI.... Maybe Tactics)
-Grand Theft Auto anything
-Assassin's Creed anything
-Anything Elder Scrolls........ Okay maybe not Morrowind. I'm waiting on a good roast for that (atrocious combat, walls of text, etc. It would be easy!)
-Gran Turismo anything
-Kingdom Hearts anything
-Metal Gear anything (even MGS 3!)

Any Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah™.

Still waiting on Snuggler's post for RE4 and why it's basically just a third-person shooter (we had third-person shooters BEFORE RE4, by the way) that had Resident Evil slapped on it.

Anything that will stir a bees nest when hated on is a Sacred Cow imo. Maybe not the Dhali Mooma of Sacred Cows, but sacred nonetheless. When it goes without saying that such and such a franchise must be respected, then yah.

 

[Arnie]

Games that are not even close to being sacred cows:

-Halo anything
-Final Fantasy anything (no, not even Final Fantasy VI.... Maybe Tactics)
-Grand Theft Auto anything
-Assassin's Creed anything
-Anything Elder Scrolls........ Okay maybe not Morrowind. I'm waiting on a good roast for that (atrocious combat, walls of text, etc. It would be easy!)
-Gran Turismo anything
-Kingdom Hearts anything
-Metal Gear anything (even MGS 3!)

Any posts "roasting" these are Textbook Trolls™ taken from the Big Book of How to Troll the Internet or Something Like It™.

Still waiting on Snuggler's post for RE4 and why it's basically just a third-person shooter (we had third-person shooters BEFORE RE4, by the way) that had Resident Evil slapped on it.

You need to add Half Life 2 on that list too, didn't stop me roasting it though. Terrible game.

 

[Why For?]

No being sarcastic, The game had a good idea but horrible execution which what everyone is posting. It was pretty boring and never beat it. I think people just can't hear complaints about games they consider godly.

Like Zelda fans with OOT
or Team ICO fans with anything

I have no problem with people pointing out flaws in games. EVERY game has flaws, and anyone not objective enough to see flaws in games they love are just fanboys.

All of my favourite games have flaws.

But to call Bioshock the worst game of this generation is just wrong. If there could ever BE a wrong opinion, that would be it.

Too many genuinely terrible games exist this gen for that statement to be true.

 

[Lagspike_exe]

You need to add Half Life 2 on that list too, didn't stop me roasting it though. Terrible game.

Half Life 2 isn't a terrible game, not even close, but IMO it did not deserve a 96 metacritic either. A shooter with such bland shooting mechanics cannot be considerd God Tier.

 

[Forkball]

* Cortana

Making harmless things up so you can shoot at them with minimal pain. Forget that she looks like a "blue prosititute" and focus more on that she's supposed to be a computer that players get a boner for.

One thing I really hated about Halo is how they always changed Cortana's design to make her sexier.

Halo 1:

Halo 2:

Halo 3:

SHE'S A PROGRAM SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY

 

[tiff]

She's not really sexy in any of the games.

 

[mclaren777]

* Portal blocks.

The Orange Tub had this other game called Portals and it was even MORE BORING THAN HALF LIFE 2. All you did was make holes in the wall and jump through them to solve puzzles. BOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIING. I played the whole thing (it was like thirty minutes long, RIP OFF) and not once did you get a machine gun or fight any terrorist. 0/10.

I was actually really disappointed by Portal. I didn't think it was clever/challenging enough and there's little chance of me buying any future Valve games because the rest of TOB was equally as flat.

 

[mjemirzian]

Either way, those types of posts are more than welcome because they're fun to read, unlike the posts that just bitch about what counts as a scared cow.
Who cares.

I agree, this thread is hilarious. I've had more laughs here than the entire month of Jan on NeoGAF. On the other hand, it's not quite as funny when someone tries roasting a game that has already gotten substantial criticism and mediocre reviews/sales.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Why it's loved: Timeless and beautiful art style/graphics. Epic bosses.

Why it sucks: Incredibly easy. 3 real dungeons and a few meh pseudo-dungeons. THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM IN AND OF ITSELF! The dungeons are pretty good I guess.

Why the game REALLY sucks:

There's NOTHING all that compelling to do on your way to and from dungeons. The overworld is fucking tedious and boring.

Majora's Mask got away with having so few dungeons because the quests and locales leading UP to the dungeon were so amazing and atmospheric.

Each dungeon had it's own locale and each locale was better than the last. Each of these areas was LOADED with colorful characters and things to do. Also, each area has a unique atmosphere that was vastly different than the last, although they're all pretty much uniformly unsettling/creepy. Nearly every activity in the game had a rewarding pay off.

Wind Waker had NOTHING like this. Going to a dungeon? Sail tediously across an empty sea. Your destination is located on a tiny dot of an island with no buildup or challenge leading up to it.

The map was huge and the islands TINY. There's absolutely NO substantial reward for exploring the map because hardly any of the islands are worth visiting. Uninspired bullshit. I HATE this aspect of the game. So many of the islands are just small plots of land with a few rupees here and there.

Fuck this game.

 

[DieNgamers]

One of the major problems was the fact that even in the rare cases of some exploration you always only got rupees. I had a full wallet most of the time anyway so they were useless.

 

[Nose Master]

Resonance of Fate. The love it gets here is baffling. There's nothing in it of substance other than the battle system. I'd rather them full on embrace it VR Missions style than whatever the hell that was they were doing with the plot there.

 

[PepsimanVsJoe]

And everyone who loves RoF knows the plot completely blows.

By the way keep quoting that Cortana pic. I mean really..thanks.

 

[djtiesto]

the snes was not the dawn of civilization, and i can't even count the games that are erroneously considered best-of-series simply because they're on snes. the primary noncosmetic differences between an nes game and an snes game are that the snes game has worse music, more slowdown, and stupid mode 7 segments -- a revolution in console game design did not coincide with the advent of super nintendo chalmers

mainly did this for my own amusement, but here's a list of authentically good nes games i've played, usually omitting arcade ports (there are exceptions where the nes version is better, where the nes version is substantially different, and where i just haven't played the arcade version). it runs to 70 or so games, and when i was culling down the list there was LOTS of stuff on there i'd certainly like but haven't played. also omitted are lots of bad but entertaining games like monster party.

Really excellent list (love the mentions of Power Blade, Metal Storm, Jackal, and Clash at Demonhead), I couldn't really find much to complain about, aside from wondering why you don't have Lolo 3 or Dragon Warrior 4 in there? Maybe adding in Vice: Project Doom, definitely adding in Wrecking Crew and FF3 (import).

 

[andymcc]

the snes was not the dawn of civilization, and i can't even count the games that are erroneously considered best-of-series simply because they're on snes. the primary noncosmetic differences between an nes game and an snes game are that the snes game has worse music, more slowdown, and stupid mode 7 segments -- a revolution in console game design did not coincide with the advent of super nintendo chalmers

This is so true. Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past are some of the most egregious offenders coming from Nintendo.

 

[fart town usa]

Final Fantasy VI

The game is broken: Lethe River power leveling technique.

Using Phoenix Downs on ghost trains. LAAAAAAAAME

Oh, but the Opera sounds good......


riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

I really just wanted to say fuck Wind Waker one more time.

 

[Yasae]

Either way, those types of posts are more than welcome because they're fun to read, unlike the posts that just bitch about what counts as a scared cow.
Who cares.



I like how this has nothing to do with anything I've posted in this thread.

and Resident Evil 4 = a poor man's Winback

Obviously you're completely wrong on the latter.

Okay, who cares. This thread should be retitled: Roast any game on the planet. Next thing you know we'll see a post raking GTA IV over the coals.

 

[Madman]

Obviously you're completely wrong on the latter.

Okay, who cares. This thread should be retitled: Roast any game on the planet. Next thing you know we'll see a post raking GTA IV over the coals.

Joke post?

 

[Yasae]

Joke post?

It's a joke post if there's something sacred about Halo.

Unfortunately there's not.

 

[Gravijah]

It's a joke post if there's something sacred about Halo.

Unfortunately there's not.

Sacred is relative. If you tried to make a "sacred cow" gaming list, plenty of people would come out to shit on all dem cows. Then they wouldn't be sacred anymore.

Fuck, there are people who dislike Super Mario Bros. 1!

 

[Infinite Justice]

Obviously you're completely wrong on the latter.

Okay, who cares. This thread should be retitled: Roast any game on the planet. Next thing you know we'll see a post raking GTA IV over the coals.

......

 

[Veelk]

One thing I really hated about Halo is how they always changed Cortana's design to make her sexier.

SHE'S A PROGRAM SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY

I honestly don't get this. I never found her to be sexualized. Visually appealing, sure, but never once have I ever thought of getting off to her. It honestly never even entered into my head that she is naked or anything.

 

[Yasae]

Sacred is relative. If you tried to make a "sacred cow" gaming list, plenty of people would come out to shit on all dem cows. Then they wouldn't be sacred anymore.

Fuck, there are people who dislike Super Mario Bros. 1!

Well if everything's relative, that's why you define what is a sacred cow and what isn't. Or just be honest, not defensive and petty, and say: Roast everything.

 

[Gravijah]

Well if everything's relative, that's why you define what is a sacred cow and what isn't. Or just be honest, not defensive and petty, and say: Roast everything.

Roast everything!

 

[Yasae]

Roast everything!

Fine. It's trolly but it's honest.

Not what the thread says though...

 

[Chiggs]

Too short and pretentious! Also boring, repetitive gameplay, plot lacks gravitas, not hardcore enough, Yorda is a gimmick.

And for losers who never had a girlfriend!

 

[Yasae]

......

Well since you're so dumbfounded and can't explain your post in words, I don't think GTA IV would qualify as much of a sacred cow, at least for me. Roast away if you want.

 

[Lard]

Multiplayer:

It's the same fucking thing in every fucking game.

Run around and shoot.

Camp up high and head shot people.

Capture the flag.

Repeat, ad nauseum.

Or:

Play a sports game.

Loser quits 10 seconds before the end of the game because he throws a tantrum and doesn't want the loss on his record.

Plus all of the added joy of listening 14 year old dipshits, racist dipshits, jock dipshits etc.

Pick your poison - or any combination of the above. With the added incentive of having your sexuality challenged at every turn!

I refuse to play online multiplayer because my brain still works.

 

[drohne]

Really excellent list (love the mentions of Power Blade, Metal Storm, Jackal, and Clash at Demonhead), I couldn't really find much to complain about, aside from wondering why you don't have Lolo 3 or Dragon Warrior 4 in there? Maybe adding in Vice: Project Doom, definitely adding in Wrecking Crew and FF3 (import).

thanks -- as to why those games aren't included, i just haven't played them for any meaningful amount of time. no doubt lolo 3 for example is just as good as its predecessors.