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[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Sibley is like hilariously cartoonishly evil at this point, and I've just finished episode 2.

That fucking doll, man. That is some creepy shit.

That moment in the tavern felt like the Redhead was telling John Alden to basically sack up and be Batman. THEN HE GOES ALL POLITICAL ON SIBLEY, GODDAMN. And Mather is unrepentant as fuck. "So an innocent woman died, who gives a fuck, we all dead anyway" basically.

 

[rocketskates]

Dat beard tho

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

It is hilarious that this cartoonishly evil witch who has murdered a few innocents draws the line at murdering the town pervert.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

OH MY GOD, DID A FUCKING SNAKE JUST CRAWL OUT OF THIS GIRL'S CUT UP FUCKING BELLY? THAT HER DAD CUT OPEN?

THIS IS THE FIRST SIXTY SECONDS.

 

[Kevin]

It is hilarious that this cartoonishly evil witch who has murdered a few innocents draws the line at murdering the town pervert.

I was under the impression that she only let him live more or less to spite the blond haired guy (not familiar with everyone's names yet). This was just more or less my take on it.

Enjoying the show so far. A little slow and kind of low budget (whole show takes place in a tiny town but never the less is kind of fun. Will keep watching. Writing is solid enough for me and it already got renewed for a season 2.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

There is now way. That this fucking girl. Could wear that fucking dress. With DAT cleavage showing. In fucking 1692 Salem.

Also, what is up with Mary Sibley's pimp coat and pimp hat.

Oh my God, this fucking lady. "The only thing worse than a witch is a Catholic.". And then going for the kill with his proclivity for booze and broads. I hate this lady.

OH SHIT, JOHN ALDEN IS NOW A TOWN LEADER. TIME TO GO UNDERCOVER.

Cotton is wasted. Lol. Aw, he's insulting hiss favorite whore. Being a total douche. God damn you, Mary Sibley! Wrecking Cotton's life.

Oh, they gonna bang in a church!?

Oh no, what the fuck is happening. Oh nop. Cotton, no goddammit. Wow, that was not only rape, but a total dick move to throw a few dimes on her.

Lol, this guy Hook is fucked. Trying to blackmail this crazy lady? He's fucking dead.

Also, Percy from Nikita is dirty, or so Michael says.

Mercy can't catch a fucking break.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Fuck yeah, Mercy's fighting back? Nice.

Also, John Alden straight up looked into this dude's eyes as he murdered him.

Our heroes kinda suck. One's a rapist and the other is a murderer.

 

[cyberheater]

Thanks OP for the information. After careful reading I've decided to skip this show. It's not for me.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Thanks OP for the information. After careful reading I've decided to skip this show. It's not for me.

It's like Sleepy Hollow, but with a lot less of the charm and more nastiness and dickishness.

Please tell me I'm not the only one still watching

 

[Kevin]

I'm quite enjoying this show. A bit slow at times and a bit low budget feeling sometimes (little action, takes place in a tiny town) but beyond that it is fun and seems to building up an interesting story. Glad it was renewed for a season 2. Will keep watching! It's worth checking out, GAF!

 

[rocketskates]

Please tell me I'm not the only one still watching

You'll never be alone on this show!

About to watch the newest episode in a little bit.

About last episode, I was wondering why Solid Snake was carrying around those spikes for pretty much the first half of the show, I was thinking to myself....vampires now????

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'll watch tonight's episode tomorrow, but some bits about last week's episode:

Bane Girl sacking up and demanding training by Mary Sibley? LOOOOOOOOOOOL. On the one hand, you go girl. On the other hand, this will end poorly for so many people.

The redhead prostitute coming back to Cotton after he raped her. The hell? I guess she really does like him a lot. Before Solid Snake cockblocks them.

ALSO! Loved that hilarious ending, where John and Cotton set the trap for the witch. It was absolutely hilarious seeing Cotton rush out with a pitchfork. I thought he and John were gonna legit fist bump there.

You'll never be alone on this show!

About to watch the newest episode in a little bit.

About last episode, I was wondering why Solid Snake was carrying around those spikes for pretty much the first half of the show, I was thinking to myself....vampires now????

It's only a matter of time.

 

[rocketskates]

I'll watch tonight's episode tomorrow, but some bits about last week's episode:

Bane Girl sacking up and demanding training by Mary Sibley? LOOOOOOOOOOOL. On the one hand, you go girl. On the other hand, this will end poorly for so many people.

The redhead prostitute coming back to Cotton after he raped her. The hell? I guess she really does like him a lot. Before Solid Snake cockblocks them.

ALSO! Loved that hilarious ending, where John and Cotton set the trap for the witch. It was absolutely hilarious seeing Cotton rush out with a pitchfork. I thought he and John were gonna legit fist bump there.

It's only a matter of time.

Hahahahahaha I think I love you.

Anyways, on the latest episode:

Drunk Cotton is the best Cotton haha.

Snake: Why does my house smell like dog piss?

Cotton: Oh this potion, it's dog piss.

HOLY SHIT THAT THREEWAY KISS. WHATTTTT. For a second there I wouldn't mind being Mr. Sibley.

Welp, now we have zombies.

Bane-girl needs some kind of spell case on her to grow some hair. For real.

And ok, I'm finally realizing how hot Tituba is. Even before the kiss scene i was like hmmmm she's looking good and by the end i was just hoping for another kiss. But really, I love her snarkiness.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Hahahahahaha I think I love you.

Anyways, on the latest episode:

Drunk Cotton is the best Cotton haha.

Snake: Why does my house smell like dog piss?

Cotton: Oh this potion, it's dog piss.

HOLY SHIT THAT THREEWAY KISS. WHATTTTT. For a second there I wouldn't mind being Mr. Sibley.

Welp, now we have zombies.

Bane-girl needs some kind of spell case on her to grow some hair. For real.

And ok, I'm finally realizing how hot Tituba is. Even before the kiss scene i was like hmmmm she's looking good and by the end i was just hoping for another kiss. But really, I love her snarkiness.

Tituba's definitely the best. And yeah, that threeway/girl kiss was so hot. So damned hot, even with the old fat dude in the middle.

And then they shoved a toad down his throat and I lost it.

Honestly, the best part of this episode was Cotton and John just being total bros. It was like a cop buddy comedy. I want more of this, Salem. I think John and Cotton were halfway smashed from beginning to end.

And did Bane-girl decapitate a witch with a straight razor? That scene where she runs at her was so poorly shot, I couldn't help but rewind and laugh.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

Holy shit at the latest episode. They went full on demonic with that witch.

And did Bane-girl decapitate a witch with a straight razor? That scene where she runs at her was so poorly shot, I couldn't help but rewind and laugh.

Decapitating someone with a razor seemed a little hard to believe, but then again this is a show about toads suckling off a witch's third nipple (and other things). So, I'll let it go.

 

[rocketskates]

Tituba's definitely the best. And yeah, that threeway/girl kiss was so hot. So damned hot, even with the old fat dude in the middle.

And then they shoved a toad down his throat and I lost it.

Honestly, the best part of this episode was Cotton and John just being total bros. It was like a cop buddy comedy. I want more of this, Salem. I think John and Cotton were halfway smashed from beginning to end.

And did Bane-girl decapitate a witch with a straight razor? That scene where she runs at her was so poorly shot, I couldn't help but rewind and laugh.

The wine pouring all over each other's mouths and kissing and drinking wine off each other...I've seen pornos start that same exact way. Damn. And then they went super aggressive toad stuffing and it was like NOPE NOT WHAT I WANTED.

But yeah, the bro part is easily one of my favorite parts of the show (other than the goddess Mary and now Tituba). From them drunkenly discussing what to do with the witch, to zombie fighting, and then at the end when Cotton gave Snake the raised eyebrow like "yeah bro", these two work great together.

And yeah, I think that was the razor Mary gave her which doesn't make any sense but whatever.

I LOVE THIS SHOW.

Holy shit at the latest episode. They went full on demonic with that witch.


Decapitating someone with a razor seemed a little hard to believe, but then again this is a show about toads suckling off a witch's third nipple (and other things). So, I'll let it go.

True dat.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

The wine pouring all over each other's mouths and kissing and drinking wine off each other...I've seen pornos start that same exact way. Damn. And then they went super aggressive toad stuffing and it was like NOPE NOT WHAT I WANTED.

But yeah, the bro part is easily one of my favorite parts of the show (other than the goddess Mary and now Tituba). From them drunkenly discussing what to do with the witch, to zombie fighting, and then at the end when Cotton gave Snake the raised eyebrow like "yeah bro", these two work great together.

And yeah, I think that was the razor Mary gave her which doesn't make any sense but whatever.

I LOVE THIS SHOW.



True dat.

Back in last week's episode, I honestly thought it'd be hilarious if the witch managed to land a blow on job and Cotton came running late cause his pants were around his ankles and his hooker was in the closet.

Then they'd have a hilarious moment where John berates Cotton for thinking with his dick.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm gonna be honest, I really dig the intro song.

Just started the new episode.

New witch hunter gonna be hardcore, yeah?

17th century Salem has some sexy hookers, goddamn. Lol @ Redhead's mom telling her daughter the witch dad is a spy.

I don't actually know this family's names.

Cousin: "see, back then it didn't matter how much sex you had, just how much witchcraft you did"

Me: "If only we were alive back then"

Proceed to laugh for a solid two minutes through the teeny bopper accuser party.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Holy shit, John's lust can't be sated!

That was like five sexy hookers at once!

And he kissed a sixteen year old girl!

I love Mary getting off on going in John's sexy dreams and Tituba being mad jealous.

Holy fuck, Bane girl has gone full on psycho with that kill.

 

[Secret Fawful]

So...is this basically like a lost season of American Horror Story?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Lol, Mary Sibley just invades John's dreams to get laid, and then get laid in real life, and then tell him to fuck off like the lame hookup he is.

Poor family of three burned at the stake. Cotton's dad is a fucking psycho. Mary Sibley was shitting bricks at the end there when he left. I also felt bad for Cotton. Now you can have a good idea as to why he's a bit messed up. I want more Cotton/John buddy cop stuff.

Also, more sexy lesbian witch shenanigans with remote viewing and dream walking.

It was good to see Isaac again. He looked like he was trying to not have a mental breakdown at the end.

Also, check out PSYCHO NATIVE JOHN. I wanna see more of this John.

So...is this basically like a lost season of American Horror Story?

It's closer to Sleepy Hollow and Supernatural than it is AHS. It can get pretty weird, bizarre, and grim at times. It's a very strange show.

It's far superior to AHS though, IMO. It's so utterly weird, but very watchable. There's more genuine use of horror here, I think. It is has a much different vibe than AHS, that's for sure. If you like Sleepy Hollow and Supernatural, you'll probably enjoy it. I've pretty much quit AHS, I couldn't really get through it.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Come on, guys.

Let's talk about the madness.

Who wit' me?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Guys, come on, I'm going stir-crazy with nobody else to talk to about Salem.

New episode tonight, right?

 

[WarrenMax007]

So show me "Dirty Sexy Withes". Sell me on this show.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So show me "Dirty Sexy Withes". Sell me on this show.

This one:

Uses part of a witch's broomstick to sexually stimulate this one:

So that she can enter a trance and remote view an oil animal headed bloody orgy in the woods.

Also, Solid Snake has hallucinations of this girl:

about to suck him off.

Also, the brunette above in the last episode, would rub baby oil on herself and then go bang Solid Snake in his dreams, which led him to be so horny in real life he went and banged 3 to 5 hookers without being able to control himself.

I think that is an adequate start.

Also, Solid Snake has butchered over 20 men for reasons while dressed as a Native dude (he fought in some war). The main priest is in love with a redhead hooker that he routinely bangs while screaming, I dunno, prayers or something.

You can decapitate people with straight razors in this show, especially old-ass women. People routinely seem to hallucinate and go nuts. The main bad guy lady is in love with the main hero who is also in love with her, but she plans on basically destroying all the puritans via paranoia. Or something. There's also something called the Grand Rite that they wanna do.

It's amusing.

 

[WarrenMax007]

Wow. Just wow.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Wow. Just wow.

You... will enjoy it.

Peeps! Who watched it tonight?

 

[No Love]

Is this show worth watching? Be honest, sir.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Is this show worth watching? Be honest, sir.

Read every post I have made in this thread, and you will know that the answer is yes, yes with a fiery, resounding vengeance.

My friend, you will undergo a journey so bizarre, outstanding, and sexy, you may never be the same again.

Spoiler

it's a really fun show to watch tbh. Not high art, just weird fun.

Edit: someone gif the wine threesome with the old guy.

 

[No Love]

Read every post I have made in this thread, and you will know that the answer is yes, yes with a fiery, resounding vengeance.

My friend, you will undergo a journey so bizarre, outstanding, and sexy, you may never be the same again.

Spoiler

it's a really fun show to watch tbh. Not high art, just weird fun.

Edit: someone gif the wine threesome with the old guy.

Ok I'll start catching up on it. This better not suck or you're off the team. :|

 

[Miss.Selfdestruct]

Solid Snake

Hnghhhhh

and her froggy friend

Priest who bangs hookers

F for Fornication

Witch-Bane

FRIENDS!

*le sigh*..... alriiiight, y'all got me. Gonna check it out...

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Ok I'll start catching up on it. This better not suck or you're off the team. :|

It's basically like American Horror Story: Coven, except, it doesn't suck.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

You... will enjoy it.

Peeps! Who watched it tonight?

Me.

You know what is kinda weird about this show? How the witches seem straight up evil... well, maybe that male witch seems less so. I mean they come across as demonic in some instances. I wonder how they justify that stuff to themselves.

 

[Calabi]

Me.

You know what is kinda weird about this show? How the witches seem straight up evil... well, maybe that male witch seems less so. I mean they come across as demonic in some instances. I wonder how they justify that stuff to themselves.

I dont think they do. I've only seen three episodes but they dont seem well characterized there mostly plot puppets and the plot is nonsensical.

Its interesting though, they've tried to make it time accurate in the setting and they way they talk. I'm watching it.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Me.

You know what is kinda weird about this show? How the witches seem straight up evil... well, maybe that male witch seems less so. I mean they come across as demonic in some instances. I wonder how they justify that stuff to themselves.

They pretty much are really cartoonishly evil to the point that all of Mary's love for Alden rings false.

I knew that the hooker witch would frame the redhead hooker and that Increase was gonna backhand Cotton.

I'm in the middle of the episode.

Holy fuck, he cut the toad out! Oh shit!

Increase seems like a much more sinister and formidable villain than Mary Sibley and co. Steven Lang brings such a steely coldness and sinister fanatacism to the role. He's killing it. Cotton's disdain for him is palpable.

Cotton and John are the best bros.

Oh man, Gloriana is gone. Increase is such a dick.

Is this how Cotton's downfall begins?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Things of notice this week:

Mary Sibley's hilarious Pilgrim Pimp Couture. Her hat even had a fucking buckle on it.

Ravenously murderous Puritan cuties dressed in white.

John Alden spent about 95% of this episode shirtless, sweaty, and looking like he walked off the cover of a romance novel.

Increase Mather gave the creepiest, most bizarre pep talk to his son and then told him to get his shit together.

We thought George Sibley was having a sex dream about Increase when he showed up in the dream. Maybe a side effect of constantly having shit shoved down his throat.

LOL @ Mercy accusing Tituba and being proud of it. Dummy. Also, confirmation that Tituba's basically in love with Mary, right? This and the dildo thing, these two are totally hitting that all the time.

Cotton is such a sad sack. Lol'd that it took a pale skinned redhead to get him off his ass and... into the bar.

Mercy's a dummy, seriously. All her plans are "LET'S KILL SOMEBODY!" though it was hypocritical of Sibley and Tituba to yell at her considering killing a bunch of people is all they seem to be doing.

Poor Isaac can never catch a break. Damn. He should just hang with Alden and Cotton (bros4life).

Steven Lang is killing it as Increase. That he outclasses every other actor on this show is no joke.

I love that the last couple of episodes has had Mary Sibley have a "Just shit my pants" look at least three times per episode.

NEXT WEEK,EPISODE 10 - THE HOUSE OF PAIN!

Promo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNkkv9BMs3I

Edit: Half the people that had posted in this thread are banned. The heck.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I feel as if I am going mad in here.

 

[Blackhead]

I feel as if I am going mad in here.

I lurk

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I lurk

Talk to me!

Talk to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

[rocketskates]

It's basically like American Horror Story: Coven, except, it doesn't suck.

Best description.

But I'm back!

Just need to get caught up on the last 2 episodes now.

Cottons father seens like he's gonna be bad news.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I need to catch up with the last three episodes. I just finished 'The House of Pain'. Holy shit were Stephen Lang's and Ashley Medekwe's scenes were super intense.

Only a matter of time before John was accused of witchcraft.

Now that lesbian witch kiss looks even more passionate.

Lol @ Tituba's satisfied smile at the end.

Cotton did nothing this episode.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Catching up on 11 now.

I never get tired of this intro.

 

[Calabi]

I'm hoping it has a decent pay off. Its set up all this drama, if it doesnt end with the old guy finding out he's been helping the enemy all along, and the grand rite ends up being completed. Then its rubbish.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm hoping it has a decent pay off. Its set up all this drama, if it doesnt end with the old guy finding out he's been helping the enemy all along, and the grand rite ends up being completed. Then its rubbish.

Ha, that revelation would be hilarious.

Cotton checking Anne for devils marks was like the most uncomfortably sexual gynecological exam ever.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

"How dare you!?"

"NO SIR, HOW DARE YOU!?"

goddamn, Cotton going in hardcore

A good friend will help you bury a body, but a GREAT friend will help you dig one up.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Increase Mather is like a Puritanical Jack Bauer.

This shit be fucked up. He just mass executed Mercy's girls.

AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE

 

[BrassDragon]

This show never fails to entertain. It finds just the right tone between playing it straight and revelling in schlocky horror.

Every other recent story about witches always paints them as misunderstood outcasts and women persecuted for their indepdence/beliefs... portraying them just as twisted, devious and perverted as the fanatical persecutors claim they are while still allowing for historical shades of grey is an interesting take.

Though I wish the women shared some of the dark humour of their male counterparts - it's what makes Isaac, Alden, Mather and even Hale so watchable. Perpetual distress/anger/concern gets a little boring.

And why on God's green earth couldn't they have cast Tamzin Merchant as Daenerys Targaryen - I remember when she was a fan favourite for the part and Salem only confirms it.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Season finale tonight, my people

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Holy. Fuck.

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

HOLY SHIT at the ending.... in the room.

those eyes. My Gawd.

Can I just say that she has never been hotter.

Did this get picked up for a s2 yet?
I have to be honest and say that I almost dropped this show early on, and then things started to get interesting around episode 7 or 8. and I can say I really enjoyed what was going on after Increase Mather showed up all the way through the finale.

One thing I don't get is how does Mercy suddenly know so much? how did she become so powerful only having just been schooled on witchcraft? and not even really schooled, more like shown the brochure and given the virtual tour of the campus from the admissions office.