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[radioheadrule83]

I'm 22, I'm bored and I want you to dish the dirt on yourselves.

I have a friend who's the same age as me, who is dating a 40+ year old doctor. I know someone who likes being asphyxiated during sex... I know someone who specifically wants to get girls from behind, bend them back towards him enough so that he can hold their head/neck in a sort of headlock - and whisper to them "good girl" repeatedly... I work with someone who watched two of his friends have sex with an Amsterdam hooker that just happened to be a midget. Perverts obviously. I know more than one person who has met their significant other on the internet. They'd go on expensive two week holidays every now and then just to see / bang said girlfriends on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. One of them has had their long distance relationship going so long that it's not so long distance anymore -- his girlfriend now lives here in the UK with him and they got married recently. Awesome stuff.

Me? Shit, I ain't gettin' any and there's no hopes of it anytime soon. While I wouldn't turn it down, I'm not really arsed. There's always Madame Palm.... but being so unwittingly chaste does make it all the more crazy for me to hear what some people get up to.

To give you an idea of what I'm getting at: I thought I'd heard all of my friends' tales of sexual deviancy, and shit about their bodies that I didn't want to know... par examplé:



• becoming a "knight of the brown table" for the first time:
-- this refers to joining the ranks of those who have anally reamed their significant other.
• A friend going strap-on shopping with his girlfriend:
-- why would he tell me this?? Why does he wanna get fucked in the ass? And why does SHE want to fuck HIM in the ass!?!?
• The posh-wank:
-- this refers to wanking with a condom on, using optional lubricant/ice-cream etc
• Dabbing:
-- testing the sexual boundaries of a relationship (or 'testing the anal waters') by "dabbing" a partner's asshole with a moist finger during intercourse... oh dear. If successful and no complaints, the message is: proceed.
• Docking:
-- none of my friends have done this (at least I don't think so - because they're all straight and some of them are slightly homophobic), but they were the first people I heard use the term. It refers to rolling your foreskin, if you have it of course, over another mans penis. Who thinks this shit up?



I thankfully missed out on the latest conversation they had (I was in work at the time)... it was a frank discussion about the nature of their own dicks. Just the latest awkward analysis of the size relationship between [ a flaccid-penis : an erect-penis ]

Is yours a grower? Does it stay the same? Does it shrink!?!?

If you were to answer with any one of the three answers above and not elaborate quickly, I think they basically came to the conclusion that you had a micro-penis. Either way you lost.

WTF. Seriously.
Okay, so keeping it legal, who has done any of the above or done worse?
Maybe some dogging? Swinging? Shit like that?

 

[Mason]

 

[cvxfreak]

I had a classmate who did her boyfriend behind a church doggie style.

 

[Badabing]

• Docking:
-- none of my friends have done this (at least I don't think so - because they're all straight and some of them are slightly homophobic), but they were the first people I heard use the term. It refers to rolling your foreskin, if you have it of course, over another mans penis. Who thinks this shit up?

:lol

 

[Ruzbeh]

Don't worry. Sexual jealousy is a natural thing.

 

[Moose]

Boogie9IGN: ive done da posh wank

:lol :lol :lol

 

[hXc_thugg]

Docking doesn't sound all that fun.

I hope White Man shows up to dominate this thread.

 

[Boogie9IGN]

Damnit Moose, what's said in AIM stays in AIM haha

:lol :lol :lol @ Knights of the Brown Table and Docking

 

[Mr Gump]

I havent done anything exceedingly weird like that shit, its usually a good deal rough though, but she likes it that way apparently.

 

[VALIS]

More lesbian stories your friends/girlfriends might have told you, please. Me and my dick thank you.

 

[xsarien]

I havent done anything exceedingly weird like that shit, its usually a good deal rough though, but she likes it that way apparently.

 

[distantmantra]

• Dabbing:
-- testing the sexual boundaries of a relationship (or 'testing the anal waters') by "dabbing" a partner's asshole with a moist finger during intercourse... oh dear. If successful and no complaints, the message is: proceed.

• becoming a "knight of the brown table" for the first time:
-- this refers to joining the ranks of those who have anally reamed their significant other.

Okay, so keeping it legal, who has done any of the above or done worse?

Yes to both. And they're not that weird.

• A friend going strap-on shopping with his girlfriend:
-- why would he tell me this?? Why does he wanna get fucked in the ass? And why does SHE want to fuck HIM in the ass!?!?

A good friend of mine is really into this. His girlfriend is a little unsure about it, though.

 

[RevenantKioku]

I stood outside of a sex store in Canada because my lesbian friends didn't want me to see what they were buying. (My guess: ass beads)

 

[radioheadrule83]

Are they nice lesbians or do they have Vanilla Ice haircuts?

 

[Jewbacca]

Whew... if you rated this thread Mature it might have gotton recalled.

 

[RevenantKioku]

Are they nice lesbians or do they have Vanilla Ice haircuts?

One's a red-head and ones asian, and both pretty cute. I had no issues watching them make out in a bar.

 

[Drinky Crow]

I saw a dude do a sheep when I was out quad racing in my high school days. No joke.

I also walked in on a classmate cornholing his fatass GF during a party in HS. Am cried, I did. Saw a circlejerk between three dudes in an honors dorm stairwell at college, too.

 

[radioheadrule83]

One's a red-head and ones asian, and both pretty cute. I had no issues watching them make out in a bar.

All is right with the world

I saw a dude do a sheep when I was out quad racing when I was a kid. No joke.

All is wrong with the world! XO

 

[RevenantKioku]

Every morning when I got out of my dorm room in Japan, I saw this dude in a suit drop his pants and piss into the drainage. Luckily, I never saw a member.
I just felt like sharing that.

 

[Drinky Crow]

I also have former GAF/OA poster Boa Constrictor to thank for permanently searing the definition of "cloaca" into my synapses. X(

 

[RevenantKioku]

I also have former GAF/OA poster Boa Constrictor to thank for permanently searing the definition of "cloaca" into my synapses. X(

Wow, that would be anal and vaginal sex at the same time. Hawt.

 

[Drinky Crow]

urple crying thing

 

[nitewulf]

urple crying thing

 

[evil ways]

I work with someone who watched two of his friends have sex with an Amsterdam hooker that just happened to be a midget.

:lol

I know a guy who's into rape roleplay with his wife. He says that from time to time they do this thing where he "breaks" into the house, chases his wife around and finally rapes her on the floor. I've heard how dressing up and being playful is supposed to be great for the sexual relationship between couples but this sounds too creepy.

 

[Mama Smurf]

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

 

[snaildog]

What are ass beads?

 

[RevenantKioku]

What are ass beads?

Beads that get stuck into the ass.

 

[snaildog]

What's the point though?

 

[Attack You]

I came into The OT to post tonight's obligatory sex thread, but I'll save my inquiry for another time.

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

Goddamn... :lol

 

[demi]

What's the point though?

They vibrate. :O

 

[nitewulf]

What's the point though?

apparently it feels good when you pull them out.

 

[cvxfreak]

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

..............

 

[nitewulf]

..............

so...if she looked like this (since thats what her character in "not another teen movie" wanted):

then what would be the outcome?

 

[sly]

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

OMG!!! :lol :lol :lol

 

[aoi tsuki]

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

Yeah, playing with a man's asshole stimulates the urge to excrete, which turns some men on. A girl did it to me once and i thought i had to go to the bathroom fifteen minutes afterwards. Didn't think much of it when i couldn't go, but found out about the trick a few days later when reading up on techniques.

i've done everything except docking, and probably some worse. i really don't feel like going into it at the moment though. Anyone who's read the other sex threads where i've posted already knows the majority of stuff though.

And yeah, the point of anal beads is that they feel good when removing them. i thought this was more of a guy thing but a surprising number of women are into them as well.

 

[ScientificNinja]

I once walked in on an old school friend furiously having sex with a frozen chicken during a house party...

I once knew a girl who bought a specially made sling that goes under the horse, which she could lay down in just like a hammock... and she'd then do unspeakable things with the horse... She was known as "The Screensaver" because her boyfriend would only fuck her while waiting for something to download (this was back in the Dial-Up days).

 

[aoi tsuki]

I once knew a girl who bought a specially made sling that goes under the horse, which she could lay down in just like a hammock... and she'd then do unspeakable things with the horse... She was known as "The Screensaver" because her boyfriend would only fuck her while waiting for something to download (this was back in the Dial-Up days).

i don't approve of sex with animals personally, but that's hilariously awesome.

 

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

i don't approve of sex with animals personally

Prude.

I don't have any insane sex stories to share. I've lived a very sheltered life and would have been quite happy tn never know what the term "docking" means.

 

[ForzaItalia]

:lol :lol :lol @ this topic.

P.S. I shall post some fucked up shit later on.

 

[HokieJoe]

I've done worst things, and if I didn't know my posts are occasionally read by people who know me in real life, I'd tell you. Sorry guys.

I can tell you a story I heard on another forum though! Some guy pulls a hot bird on a night out and she invites him back to her place. They're in her room and things are getting heavy when he feels her finger go up his ass. It's not really his thing but he goes along with it, along as she doesn't try anything else back there. She takes her finger out and they carry on.

Suddenly out of nowhere, right in the middle of sex, he shits himself! WELL embarrassed he runs to her bathroom and cleans himself up. He has to go back for his clothes and wallet and things, so with some trepedation he pushes her door open, expecting to find her huddled in the corner in horror. Instead, she's lying on top of her sheets smearing his shit all over herself! She'd shoved a laxative or something up him. He got out of there as fast as he could, but not before pity-filled roommates told him she did this sort of thing to some guy every week or so.

Just...ick!

:lol



When I was in college, my roomie worked at a local pizza joint. He said that one of the guys he worked with told him this story about how he and his gf use Saran Wrap as a prop during uh, sex. I was like, "Saran Wrap, WTF, spill dude". So he tells me, that this cat would lie down, and stretch a large piece of Saran Wrap over his face. Then his gf would squat over his face and take a big hairy dump on the Saran Wrap.

I'm still scarred by thought that a fucking dukey boy used to make my pizzas. Filthy coprophiliac. :lol

 

[Attack You]

What the shit. Literally. How can anyone get off on that? But, hell, even fart jokes do nothing for me.

 

[HokieJoe]

I used to date this hot little number who liked it rough. I'm really not into that kind of shit, but damn, just damn she was hot (and a nurse)- so I went along.

Oh the stories.

One night we got fizzed up and she wanted to go to a titty bar. I was like schweet! Anyway, I’m sitting there, enjoying the sights, and she tells me that she has to go to the bathroom. Some time passed, and I was beginning to get a little worried about her. Then I saw her across the bar talking to some of the “talent”. Suddenly, she walks backstage with them. The next thing I know, she struts out on stage buck-fucking naked doing a pole dance! I thought, "this is so cool, and yet, so sick". :lol

She told me that was she'd always wanted to "dance", and that that was her first time onstage. :lol

I’m tellin’ ya’, this girl was a freak. During sex she'd demand that I bite her. Not love nibbles, but fvcking chomp-chomp biting. One time I was doing her doggy style and she said, "squeeze my nipples", so I squeezed her nipples. She said, "no, fvcking squeeze them hard". So I gave her a real nipple twister. I know it hurt. It HAD to hurt. I expected to get slugged, but she just moaned and cried for more.

W T F!

Some months later, post New Year's Eve, I lay in my bed from a long night of partying. Where I live it's pretty safe, so my roomy and his gf would leave the back door open to keep the house cool during the summer months. As it was pretty much a habit, they often left the door unlocked even during the winter months.

As I lay there asleep in drunken bliss, I was suddenly awakened to the clomp, clomp, clomp of some big-ass platform shoes smacking the hardwood floor in the hallway. The next thing I knew, my bedroom door flung open, and it dawned on me just who was in my midst- the depraved one- my masochistic little poka-lilly.

I hadn’t seen her in a while, so this came as somewhat of surprise. At that point, I just wanted to sleep it off though because I was totally pixilated. Anyway, she crawls into bed with me, and I’m like, this is cool, we’ll snuggle tonight and I’ll poke her in the morning. Once she was settled, I started drifting off to sleep again. She woke me again with all of her fidgeting. Damnit, this was starting to piss me off, and just as I was about to say something, when suddenly I had her tit in my mouth.

Okay, okay, if you insist!

Up till that point, she had always demanded that I be the “sadist” so to speak. She wanted me to do the biting, and the pinching and whatever- but not that night. Oh no, she wanted to assert herself I guess. So she climbed on top of me and we’re gettin’ it on, and the next thing I know she lays her fangs into my neck. We were going at it pretty hard, so I let it pass, and just kept drilling her. The next thing I know, the little pixie grabs hold of my back, digs in her nails and sca-ratches the shit out of me. I KNOW she had some of my flesh under her finger nails.

I’d had enough of that noise, so I spun her off of me, and rolled her up like a roly-poly bug. I commenced to jack-hammering her missionary style. I caught a nut as soon as I could and collapsed into a painful but blissful post-ejaculatory sleep. Once morning came, she was gone- thank God. I never saw her “like that” again.

I probably sound like a prude. I’ve been bitten and scratched before- but not like that. It was truly painful. I don’t mind “exploring the options” with a girl, but damn, how could such a little girl wreak so much pain?

It takes all types I guess.

 

[Mupepe]

I love pain and going at it hard, nothing better. Also, dirty talking rocks. Never tried roleplaying, but I guess I'd like to just to see if it makes it any better. I'm not give any specific times, but yeah, i've done most of the shit on the list except docking and i've never had someone shit on me =\ seriously, wtf? ew

 

[Tain]

Yeah, playing with a man's asshole stimulates the urge to excrete, which turns some men on. A girl did it to me once and i thought i had to go to the bathroom fifteen minutes afterwards. Didn't think much of it when i couldn't go, but found out about the trick a few days later when reading up on techniques.

Man. Even thinking about anything like that happening to me makes me lock up and almost have a fraction of a gag. That would wierd me out like no other.

 

[HokieJoe]

I love pain and going at it hard, nothing better. Also, dirty talking rocks. Never tried roleplaying, but I guess I'd like to just to see if it makes it any better. I'm not give any specific times, but yeah, i've done most of the shit on the list except docking and i've never had someone shit on me =\ seriously, wtf? ew

Yeah, I dig the dirty talk.

It's not any good if they don't know how to talk dirty though. The biggest mistake I ever made was letting go of this one little honey who knew exactly what to say in the sack. I know sex isn't everything, but whoa, she was plum hot with that coital potty mouth.

 

[Mupepe]

Yeah, I dig the dirty talk.

It's not any good if they don't know how to talk dirty though. The biggest mistake I ever made was letting go of this one little honey who knew exactly what to say in the sack. I know sex isn't everything, but whoa, she was plum hot with that coital potty mouth.

Hahaha. It's amazing just what words can do even when you're already doing the action haha

 

[Tarazet]

Prude.

I don't have any insane sex stories to share. I've lived a very sheltered life and would have been quite happy tn never know what the term "docking" means.

Then you'll want to poke your eyes out when I tell you that

Spoiler

there are people who "dock" the sheaths of dogs and horses.

And no, I didn't really want to know about it either.

 

[Companion Cube]

Docking, in the yeaaaar two-thouuusaaaand....

 

[maharg]

All the "my friend" and "this guy on another forum" things are :lol

 

[Lathentar]

Read THIS: http://www.tuckermax.com/girlbeatstucker.html

This girl’s appetite for pain and degradation was outstripping my ability to hurt and humiliate her, but I refused to let her beat me. It wasn’t even about the sex or the experimentation anymore (and it was never about the relationship, because aside from the freaky sex this girl was basically worthless). No, for me it was about seeing who’s limits we could reach first. I HAD to get her to blink. Tyler Durden isn’t having Fight Club in MY basement, goddamnit.