Straight & Alternative |OT|

#3
Awesome to have you! : )

It should be said the main focus of this Community is still LGBT+, and this is a place for us all to gather, but the Community should be open to anyone and everyone, and I wanted to make it clear that we acknowledge and respect all voices.

Edit: I'm open to suggestions about the OP as well. I know I need to add some resources like the old thread, so i'll try to get to that at some point soon. It'll always be a work in progress i'm sure. My hope is that we can have a strong showing for the new wave of members that will be coming in.
 
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#4
But why
Don't get me wrong; your intentions seem good. But why? A community of straight and LGBT people is just a community of everyone; what's the point of even making such a thing? I get and understand the idea of wanting inclusion and not wanting to make people feel like they don't belong but, individual niches and topics dedicated towards certain ideas and groups of people are more relevant to said people interested in and/or are a part of said communities; a community of everyone is....It feels pointless to me. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding your intentions on what this thread is about. I dunno.

For the record I think I'm bi. I'm not absolutely sure. Never quite figured that out for certain and don't really know how.
 
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#5
Short answer:
I'm a hipster and I don't like doing things the normal way.

Long answer:
I am aware that this approach is not going to be for everyone, and maybe it's just straight up the wrong approach, but I felt really strongly about it and decided it was worth taking a chance on. I don't want anybody to stop themselves from making a more traditional LGBT+ community here if that is what they prefer. I personally did not participate in the old one specifically because this is the kind of community I always wanted, but that is my own personal preference or hang-up. None of you should have to endure that.

I think the idea that straight people have no real reason to participate here should be obvious, as you are correct their forum is essentially the entire stage of life. The point of a community is to segregate and section yourself off so as to focus onto a specific topic. In that sense this is a community about Sexuality at the surface.

However, to say that Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender individuals are overall able to congregate, 4+ groups that are so widely different from each other, but are unable to share in the celebration of sexual diversity with Straight People (who can equally be as diverse), feels deeply wrong to me. Is our defining characteristic that we are/were oppressed or different? Not to me. To me our defining characteristic is that we celebrate the diversity of sexuality, in all its forms.

The traditional LGBT+ model allows me to pass on my experience of enjoyment about Against Me!'s Transgender Dysphoria Blues album as a Gay Man to a Transgender Woman, but not also pass on my positive experience of Finasteride for hairloss (and no dick troubles!!) to someone who's straight seems arbitrary.

I guess I just feel that, if all of us LGBT+ people are so completely different from each other but are still flying under one flag, how is it such a big deal to just throw the entire darn thing together. It should be obvious to people that this is still clearly a Community designed first and foremost for LGBT+, but now we get to feel even a little bit cooler and progressive about ourselves because we've taken the next step, and choose to celebrate the totality of existence. But it's mostly still just going to be us and the occasional straight person who's interested in the diversity of it all. I want that kind of person in the conversation too.

So yes, you could think of it as an Alliance of Solidarity which has been done before, and maybe that's boring, but I'd like to think of it like we're opening the forum to the full expression of sexuality for anyone who might want to participate and learn.

For the record I think I'm bi. I'm not absolutely sure. Never quite figured that out for certain and don't really know how.
My first serious relationship was with a guy who is Bi, we dated for about 4 years, although we had a lot of trouble I loved him very much. To be honest I essentially filled the traditional feminine role in the bedroom with him. I think for him he was attracted to people who carry themselves in a feminine way, rather than to females specifically. I think a lot of Guys are like that, they're attracted to femininity but if it's a male it's only from a distance and it's non-sexual when it comes down to the details.

What is it that makes you think you might be Bi? Do you find yourself attracted to Male/Female traits in the opposite sex? I guess I don't even know what Gender you are though.
 
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#7
Big old nope on this.

Should the black community be called “white and alternative”

Should the anime community be called “90s Nickelodeon and alternative.”

What about Brit gaf being “America and alternative.”

Unless this thread isn’t for LGBTQ+ people, which would explain why straight get the title slot (first title slot, even) then cool, a straight community thread.

High five bro. But I think you missed the point.
 
#8
Ultimately, my thought is that the reason why het people aren't in the movement is encapsulated in the fact that the image describing the terms doesn't explain it. You can't really talk about het people being outsiders in the movement and then unconsciously establish them as such in your own thread
 
#9
...you wanted to create a community to include straight people in the LGBT umbrella...and yet you put them first in the topic title.

What is happening here?

also

unable to share in the celebration of sexual diversity with Straight People (who can equally be as diverse)
What does this even mean?
 
#10
It should also be noted that the thread title doesn't even include all of LGBTQIA+. A solid percentage of trans people are straight themselves, If you wanted to make this thread, you really should have thought ahead about a lot of stuff tbh
 
#11
I mean, I just took it as a LGBT discussion thread open to everyone ,or at least inviting to straight people. I guess the detailed op made me over look the title.

I'm up for a fresh start, new gaf, new thread etc
 
#14
Yes (regular lurker) but the thread died in the arse as soon as the troubles started...i mean a thread with most of the posters left is a little weird right?
The alternative should not be a thread that prioritizes straight people and categorizes everyone else as "opposite of straight" regardless of the fact that some people can be straight and trans.
 
#17
If we use this thread as the base, I think that the title is not the only problem. As I noted above, the thread conceit seems to treat heterosexuality as a default to such an extent that there is no explanation for what it means.
Look i don't want to get this off to a fight straight away but...i mean, heterosexuality IS the default...

Where on Earth or in nature is homosexuality the rule rather than the exception?

We are the minority and it's entirely disingenuous to argue otherwise, all I took away from this OP was that this was a thread for discussing LGBT issues and it was open to everyone, it would be a ridiculous start to this new gaf to go back to the old ways of excluding or reminding those not in our orientation that they are different from us...
 
#18
That's a really awesome thing you doing here :)
Thanks!
What does this even mean?
Straight people can be very different person from person!
It should also be noted that the thread title doesn't even include all of LGBTQIA+. A solid percentage of trans people are straight themselves, If you wanted to make this thread, you really should have thought ahead about a lot of stuff tbh
Everyone is included.
The alternative should not be a thread that prioritizes straight people and categorizes everyone else as "opposite of straight" regardless of the fact that some people can be straight and trans.
It prioritizes everyone. Straight and Trans. I just personally considered them Straight. But if they consider themselves Straight and Trans rather than Straight they are included regardless! And I do value your criticism. I don't think it's a perfect solution, but I didn't think the other solution was perfect either. It just comes down to my own personal feelings. Nobody has to be forced to use this thread. I won't be upset if anyone feels offended by it and wants to move to the old thread or start their own LGBT+ thread. I just want to celebrate Sexuality.
 
#19
Heterosexuality is the default, yes, but it should not be the default when it's talking about the non-default sexualities and gender identities. I just don't see the value in this thread; if you want to talk with/to LGBTQIA+ people, the thread is usable for that. I don't explicitly disagree with a heterosexuality thread, but I think using non-het people as part of it just doesn't work. Even pre-NewGAF, the thread was not exclusionary, it just focused on a niche and existed because there were things to talk about. I guess I dunno what exactly there is to talk about wrt heterosexuality.
 
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#20
Heterosexuality is the default, yes, but it should not be the default when it's talking about the non-default sexualities and gender identities. I just don't see the value in this thread; if you want to talk with/to LGBTQIA+ people, the thread is usable for that. I don't explicitly disagree with a heterosexuality thread, but I think using non-het people as part of it just doesn't work. Even pre-NewGAF, the thread was not exclusionary, it just focused on a niche and existed because there were things to talk about. I guess I dunno what exactly there is to talk about wrt heterosexuality.
Not much, I just want to show solidarity and make sure that they know they are welcome here. It's not a Heterosexuality only thread. It's a thread for everyone, including you. The very nature of this community is up for debate. You are allowed to debate my right to hold these ideals, because I want my ideals to be challenged, and to be able to grow from that.

I believe that it's important that all sexualities stand together.
 
#21
I should say I personally would rather be talking about Grindr and how I think it's such a crappy way to meet someone and that I can't seem to find any websites for more serious hookups. Has anyone else made long term connections through Grindr? It just feels so impersonal being so focused on profile pictures.
 
#25
Why not? LGBT is finite, there are so many pronouns now that I'm respecting everyone who I don't even know exists yet.

The idea that us standing together is controversial breaks my heart.
But it's not standing together to, again, be labeling it as "Straight and Everybody Else"

"Straight" doesn't have to be a part of the explicit topic for it to be discussed, and hetero people aren't generally left out of discussions.

Also, LGBT+ isn't finite. The group's purpose is to represent people whose sexuality or gender identity are different (and, in turn, stigmatized in society). That the thread isn't specifically saying "straight people are allowed" is not an exclusionary act.
 
#28
I should say I personally would rather be talking about Grindr and how I think it's such a crappy way to meet someone and that I can't seem to find any websites for more serious hookups. Has anyone else made long term connections through Grindr? It just feels so impersonal being so focused on profile pictures.
Let’s ask the straight folks what they think
 
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#32
Title needs to be changed imo
You're probably right : ) Somebody else can take the torch then, it's fine. I was just trying to do something out of love, and it must have been the wrong thing.
Again, no one's excluding hetero people from participating in discussion.
Yeah... No worries, like I said, I wanted you all to be frank, and I thank you for that.

Edit: On recollection what I should have done was ask people what they would want out of a community. I've never tried to make one so I guess I just kind of went with what I thought I'd want, and now I realise that was wrong. I'll reflect on the experience and try to learn from it in the future.
 
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#33
Okay, so.

I don't think I was listening to anyone, and I want to apologies for that.

I think my perspective on things was warped, and I think people are right about what was said in this thread. I'd like to ask if it would be okay with you guys if I could give it a second attempt, this time listening more intently to the criticism being given to me. If you would allow me, I'd like to listen to you all and drop the Straight stuff entirely, it was unnecessary and was creating drama. I think I should get over whatever adolescent perspective I harbour on that.

If you guys are up for giving me a second chance, how do you feel if we just call it LGBTQIA+ |OT10|, and I do a better job representing and respecting the work that was done before me.
 
#37
Alright!

I'll do my best and get started on it when I have a moment. I'll try to make it something that everyone can feel comfortable with, because it is really important to me that we have a Community that we can all feel proud of. I'm going to generate new images for it too, because I found that I really enjoyed working on this OT. I was using my own images from Japan and stuff and it was a lot fun to play around with them.

"LGBTQIA+ |OT10| This time you can wear your pants"
?
 
#38
thank god
im scared to tell my dads im straight all family always wanted a Gay son but can't keep the secret anymore i only have one straight friend but everyone else doesn't know what should i do