You've not met many desperate men, have you.
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The worst 'dating' rejection someone had to face?
- Thread starter AMUSIX
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You've not met many desperate men, have you.
Hot Coldman
Banned
Bingo again! If there's even a glimmer of hope there, desperate folks will use it to think otherwise of your intentions. So which case, cutting them down with the blunt "I'm not interested" would be best case scenario. I will give it to Chacharoni though that there are variables to it however.
Personally, I don't think that is necessarily a bad way of doing it. I think when I say I would prefer it if they were cruel to me, I mean rather than a response that is a little ambiguous and more of a vague hint (lol). Sometimes it is best to just be straight with people. Of course it makes things awkward for you, and it isn't your fault really, but it clears up any confusion.
Risible
Member
Having read through the entire thread I think this post really stood out.
I didn't want you to feel ignored, so I felt I should reply. Even though it's corny as fuck, keep trying. Don't take one rejection as an indicator of how it will always go. Follow Gretzky's mantra of "You always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Again, I know that all sounds sappy as shit, but it's the best I can do. Good luck!
My first and worst rejection was pretty similar. A friend of mine pushed me to do it, and after she pulled her stunt I remember saying to him "you know, I was assured that these sort of things never happen".
Eh, it's easy to understand why it happens. Having someone approach you whom you don't find attractive but don't really dislike, doesn't elicit thoughts of "damn, I'm sexy", but rather "oh shit, how should I deal with this..." Well, at least for me, but I'd assume I'm not the only one.
Hot Coldman
Banned
shanshan310
Member
Yeah, I guess so. It makes things more difficult when you interact with them regularly (work, school, same friends etc). I don't think I could be that rude to someone I knew.
I guess I just don't see where the glimmer of hope is. I say this as someone who has been hassled after saying "I'm dating someone else" too. I honestly don't understand. Even if they are attractive, I'm interested in someone else, end of story.
Bjoern the Smexy
Member
Had the exact same thing happen to me three years ago, except we've been together for over 4 years at that time.
Sorry to say, but it's 99% certain that you're single now
MadraptorMan
Member
Had the exact same thing happen to me two years ago, except we've been together for over 4 years at that time.
Sorry to say, but it's 99% certain that you're single now
Four years? Jesus...that would destroy me completely. It's bad enough as it is right now...
I always wondered about that with a hooker. I mean porn stars hook up with generally normal looking guys. Hookers, who knows who is gonna walk through the door. I would think they'd turn away any people they were not ok with.
I know that you just don't say anything though shan (lol). Which is never the best way of going about it. You know that yourself really. You don't have to be that cruel, just very straight and upfront about what you really think.
Edit: Based on what you have posted before anyway.
Luckily i was 16 when i had my first real long term relationship. We were mutally attracted to each other and lasted 3 1/2 years. Then me and my second girl lasted 7 1/2 years. Now im in another relationship going on a year. Ill probably be rejected one day if this relationship doesnt work
Spehornoob
Member
Been told to lower my standards to my face.
To be fair, she was really hot and I'm teddy-bear chubby, so she was pretty right.
To be fair, she was really hot and I'm teddy-bear chubby, so she was pretty right.
Bjoern the Smexy
Member
It did destroy me. I was on the edge of going fucking crazy. Like, mentally crazy. (Believe it or not, but the credits song to Portal 2, "Want You Gone", helped me quite a bit to ease the pain, along with having probably the most awesome friends I can imagine)
It took me almost a complete year to forget about her.
Then we got together again two years later (which is now around half a year ago) and she broke up with me only 3 weeks later.
To say the least, she's that one person in my life I never ever want to see again, which is hard considering she frequents a forum I'm also a mod at (which is how we got to know each other).
Oh well, whatever, that's an old wound and it left a scar that's almost not visible anymore.
I sadly have nothing to really contribute to the thread. I never got rejected in an overly painful way except for the shit my ex-gf gave me.
Well, no, there's that one girl I was totally in love with in 7th grade (up to 10th grade even). I told her a few times I loved her and it was always the same answer: "You're cute and all, but I'm just not that into you, sorry." Gave up on her after three long years. Never saw her again.
Hurt quite a bit back then but I was young and totally didn't know anything about love or even having a relationship.
Nah, fuck that.
I'm chubby and I've been out with some girls that people told me were way out of my league.
Fuck leagues - everyone has a type and it's not always the same requirements.
Droog
Member
Based on my experiences from when I lived and dated in Japan, this is actually quite common. If the girl is just not into you, she'll go silent rather than break up or reply to messages. I'm not sure why although someone once told me that it was to spare one's feelings (hers or mine though!).
Either that or we've both just been really unlucky.
Eventually I just learnt to spot the signs early on. She cancels an hour or two before you're due to meet? She's not into you. Friend/relative is sick and needs to look after them? She's not into you. Promises to reschedule but never, ever hear from her again? ... Yeah, you know the drill now.
I've been rejected by a boy I had a super crush on in school, but my standards at the time were purely childish mostly and I'm glad to say I grew out of that. Him though? Gee.
Guys after that were not my 'thing', to be honest, I wasn't even interested in dating altogether. I was too focused on school and getting the hell out of there. I knew of one guy who liked me but my brother knew him personally and let him know that I wasn't interested.
Usually I can tell right off bat when the guy's not worth looking into when they couldn't be bothered to learn sign language for you. :\ And I get that a lot. :\
Guys after that were not my 'thing', to be honest, I wasn't even interested in dating altogether. I was too focused on school and getting the hell out of there. I knew of one guy who liked me but my brother knew him personally and let him know that I wasn't interested.
Usually I can tell right off bat when the guy's not worth looking into when they couldn't be bothered to learn sign language for you. :\ And I get that a lot. :\
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
But that's the guy's fault, not hers.
And outside of the downright insults, I had "You're great and all but I was only making out with you because I wanted to get X's attention lol"
MadraptorMan
Member
That's the thing, before she went off for Spring break...there were none of those warning signs. We saw each other like twice or three times a week, and it was great, which is why I decided to get up some courage and officially ask her out...and that's when it all went down hill without warning.
I speak Japanese fairly well and I explained as nicely and succinctly as I could that I would not be angry or bother her if she wanted to break up. I just want a response; one single response. I also told her that her ignoring me is not helping at all and is in fact just making things worse for me, but I guess she doesn't respect me enough to care.
Droog
Member
I feel for you man as I know exactly where you're coming from. The best you can hope for is a delayed response. But honestly, I wouldn't hold your breath. It hurts and it will probably make you angry (I would get absolutely livid inside when it happened to me the first few times) but you can't and shouldn't force it.
I actually decided to learn sign language after being with a deaf guy and having some communication issues (his limited speech abilities + typing on the phone couldn't get you that far). We didn't last for longer than a month, and I had to dump him for stuff not related at all to his disability but I decided I could make some people's life easier if I learnt.
Now I find myself from time to time eavesdropping on hot deaf guys' conversations ._.
Glad it encourages you this way though.
But yeah, the first part of the quote seem to really fly over a lot of people's heads when it comes to dating deaf people.Always-honest
Banned
Not nearly as bad as the other stories, but i remember well:
Layla was behind the counter of this coffeeshop where we used to smoke our weed (and play Golden Axe) from time to time. She was waaaaaay out of our league and a couple of years older. For some reason i thought it was a good idea to ask her out one fine day (i was 19).
Me: Hey Layla, do you have a boyfriend?
She: Not really.
Me: Would you like to go out with me?
She: Not really.
Me: Ah, come on, you're breaking my heart (trying to be adorable).
She: raises her eyebrows and looks at me like i'm some filthy bum who must be tripping
So.. yeah. It's the only time got rejected i think. But i didn't ask that many girls, sooo.
I wasn't traumatised since she was so out of my league anyway.
Layla was behind the counter of this coffeeshop where we used to smoke our weed (and play Golden Axe) from time to time. She was waaaaaay out of our league and a couple of years older. For some reason i thought it was a good idea to ask her out one fine day (i was 19).
Me: Hey Layla, do you have a boyfriend?
She: Not really.
Me: Would you like to go out with me?
She: Not really.
Me: Ah, come on, you're breaking my heart (trying to be adorable).
She: raises her eyebrows and looks at me like i'm some filthy bum who must be tripping
So.. yeah. It's the only time got rejected i think. But i didn't ask that many girls, sooo.
I wasn't traumatised since she was so out of my league anyway.
Eighty Deuce
Banned
I've been dumped with the line "your someone I would marry, not date". The fuck does that even mean?
Only two rejections I ever had consisted in a "no, I won't date you and I never will" and a simple "cobra move" (approaching to kiss a girl, then her putting her mouth out of the way). None of them were too traumatic, albeit the first one was kind of asshole-ish. Oh, there was also one girl that I liked but she turned out be lesbian and we ended up being great friends, so no trauma or whatsoever.
And for the reversal or roles, I only rejected someone once in my life, and to every single "oh, but rejecting is something hard too" whiners: get real, it is fucking not. In fact, It surprise me to see so many horrible rejection stories here, you can reject someone easily, you just need to be 1) Firm enough so you don't give any false hope 2) Polite enough so you don't add salt to the wound.
Seriously, you only need a modicum of maturity and class, for fucks shake. It is unbelievable how these two are nowadays seemingly scarce resources.
And for the reversal or roles, I only rejected someone once in my life, and to every single "oh, but rejecting is something hard too" whiners: get real, it is fucking not. In fact, It surprise me to see so many horrible rejection stories here, you can reject someone easily, you just need to be 1) Firm enough so you don't give any false hope 2) Polite enough so you don't add salt to the wound.
Seriously, you only need a modicum of maturity and class, for fucks shake. It is unbelievable how these two are nowadays seemingly scarce resources.
peteykirch
Member
She's not ready and wants to fool around.
Spehornoob
Member
Bah. Don't bother me none. Being the big guy has it's perks and the girl was kind if a bitch when it came to the guys she was with anyway.
EDIT: I also tend to prefer "cute" to "hot". Am I weird in that regard?
They thought you could make awesome sandwiches.
No, I agree with you on that, I'd rather date a cute girl than a hot one. In my experience, cute girls are often more down-to-earth and approachable than hot girls.
cat litter
Member
Back in some computer class in high school, the guy sitting next to me and a girl next to him
Whats your #, maybe we could hang out sometime
Oh, I dont have a phone, I just use my sisters...
Not so bad, but the dead silence in the room made it sting im sure
Whats your #, maybe we could hang out sometime
Oh, I dont have a phone, I just use my sisters...
Not so bad, but the dead silence in the room made it sting im sure
FindMyFarms
Member
Wow, she's just a straight up bitch.
That when you get up after her little public performance and mentions that its not biggie because you cant blame a guy for trying to get in some of that easy poonani action that you've heard she's been giving around.
Yeah, that's always awkward.
Hot Coldman
Banned
Not as awkward as being completely obviously that she's looking for a kiss, and giving her an awkward hug!
I made up for it next time we met
Spehornoob
Member
Anyone else been on that date where there doesn't seem to be an opening for a kiss, so you figure she doesn't want one (cue awkward hug), and are later told that you should have kissed her because she wanted you to and now she doesn't think you like her?
I've had a similar experience, yeah - there just didn't seem to be a moment for it & I didn't feel like she was all that interested. I jokingly mentioned it to her later to be told "yeah, you're such a girl - you should've gone for it"
Of course, this is the same girl I mentioned earlier who decided she wasn't interested & tried to set me up with her friend, so that's probably not what you want to hear.
Hot Coldman
Banned
The fuck, Mike? Those stories are exclusively for BritGAF. You start sharing that shit everywhere, phisheep won't even bother reading the thread any more.
You're right. I've let you guys down.
I promise my sexual failures on Wednesday night will be BritGAF exclusive.
If I don't strike out, I'll even provide photos, just to make up for it.
Hot Coldman
Banned
Yeah, we're OK. Just PM them to Tash under false pretences.
Bjoern the Smexy
Member
Always answer with "Thanks for reminding me that I don't date stupid bitches."
Then take a photo of her face.
Then upload it and post it on GAF.
You are stable, maybe have a good job, probably wouldn't cheat on her and would make a good supportive dad for your kids. Your sort of boring, don't take it personally I'm boring too.
She is looking for relationship with drama, preferably with a guy who she can 'fix'. She wants it exciting which can mean a whole range of things. I have an older friend who has a divorced daughter she likes men with drama and toys. You could be dead broke and no job but if you have a motorcycle you are all set.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
Never been flatout rejected right off the bat before, but I did simp pretty hard hoping for something to happen with a girl from work.
On the other hand, I've had a lot of cases of girls asking me out and being too self-conscious or scared to do anything about it. Had a girl ask me to a dance in 6th grade, told her I was sick and couldn't go. Ended up going with my friends, she saw me and started bawling. The next year in middle school a bunch of girls approached me and asked if I thought their friends was attractive. I said yes. They said I should ask her out. Never did it. Had another girl always ask me to sit with her at lunch and eventually asked me to hangout with her outside of school. Never did it. Had a girl in high school art class, who I thought was just my friend, would come into the lunch hall and hang on my arm. She always talk about not having anything to do on Friday night...never got it. She ended up almost begging me to go to prom junior year. Told her I had plans and couldn't go. After that all our mutual friends treated me like shit and thought I was an asshole (looking back, I can't disagree). Another girl senior year asked me to prom, I told her I already had a date (I didn't). I had a girl on a canoeing trip straight up ask me to join her in her bed, was too chicken to do it. I was completely oblivious to romantic advances, I'm sure there is more stuff I missed.
I had some significant self esteem issues and social anxiety, shit cost me a lot of new experiences. I was super lonely, but too much of a coward to do anything about it. I'm sure they all took it personally, unfortunately.
Years later, the girl who asked me to prom junior year had just got divorced. I was going through a breakup at the time so we reconnected via Facebook, basically complaining about our relationships. She always text me when she was drinking, it started to get kind of old. We ended meeting for lunch and she came on REALLY strong. A day later she invited me to a concert. When I didn't respond right away I got an angry email from her. Followed up by another email detailing all of her problems and how I must hate her and her life was falling apart. Not sure what I could have done differently there. Never tried to give the impression I was ready for anything romantic.
On the other hand, I've had a lot of cases of girls asking me out and being too self-conscious or scared to do anything about it. Had a girl ask me to a dance in 6th grade, told her I was sick and couldn't go. Ended up going with my friends, she saw me and started bawling. The next year in middle school a bunch of girls approached me and asked if I thought their friends was attractive. I said yes. They said I should ask her out. Never did it. Had another girl always ask me to sit with her at lunch and eventually asked me to hangout with her outside of school. Never did it. Had a girl in high school art class, who I thought was just my friend, would come into the lunch hall and hang on my arm. She always talk about not having anything to do on Friday night...never got it. She ended up almost begging me to go to prom junior year. Told her I had plans and couldn't go. After that all our mutual friends treated me like shit and thought I was an asshole (looking back, I can't disagree). Another girl senior year asked me to prom, I told her I already had a date (I didn't). I had a girl on a canoeing trip straight up ask me to join her in her bed, was too chicken to do it. I was completely oblivious to romantic advances, I'm sure there is more stuff I missed.
I had some significant self esteem issues and social anxiety, shit cost me a lot of new experiences. I was super lonely, but too much of a coward to do anything about it. I'm sure they all took it personally, unfortunately.
Years later, the girl who asked me to prom junior year had just got divorced. I was going through a breakup at the time so we reconnected via Facebook, basically complaining about our relationships. She always text me when she was drinking, it started to get kind of old. We ended meeting for lunch and she came on REALLY strong. A day later she invited me to a concert. When I didn't respond right away I got an angry email from her. Followed up by another email detailing all of her problems and how I must hate her and her life was falling apart. Not sure what I could have done differently there. Never tried to give the impression I was ready for anything romantic.
Those feels, I know them.
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