• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Ultimate high school farts?

RagnarokIV

RagnarokIV

Member
One time in high school we were in maths class and my friend farted. Haha that was funny, everyone laughed.

I wasn’t about to let this bastard steal the show though, so I let one out too. The joke didn’t get old, and everyone was now laughing to my fart!

My so called “friend” didn’t back down like a punk ass bitch though and instead started running his mouth (or rather, his ass). So he unleashed a MOAB tier loud fart that even attracted the attention of the teacher.

I was fucked, everyone was laughing in celebration to his fart and I was doomed to be second best. Runner up. The girl in class would never fall in love with me now.
Humiliation via my opponent’s ass - and not even in a cool Rikishi WWF way.

I was always the Bam Margera of the group, but I was about to assert my dominance and upgrade myself to the Johnny Knoxville status of my friend.
I gave my ass a little moment of prep and then went Super Saiyan.

BRRRRRRPPPPPP - the ultimate in anus power was finally mine, and witness as I unleash it! - BRRRRRRRRPPPPPP

It was the perfect symphony of ass blast - the nasal highs of a French horn balanced perfectly against the brass trumpet style fart.
Clashing in there was the guttural bowel lows sending a rumble through my chair.
As if the holy trinity of farts timbre flowed as one.

He was fucked and he knew it - there was no coming back. “Oh my god, did you just shit yourself?!”

-Haha of course not man, don’t be fucken stupid! Hahaha

Sadly I did indeed shit my pants. Imagine stink lines and flies like the fly camouflage in Metal Gear Solid 3.
20 minutes passed “are you sure you haven’t shit yourself? It’s still stinking!”
-No way man haha, you’re a dumbass.

As soon as the class finished I ran home and showered. I didn’t go back that day.

I didn’t sleep at night because I remembered a kid who shit his pants and left it until lunch but the poo had dried in his pants and turned crusty. The kids nicknamed him Crusty The Clown and he carried that nickname for a decade.

Thankfully Jesus was smiling down on me that day because the following morning in school the big news was about some other kid who died of brain disease or some shit over night.

Thank you Jesus, I never became a casualty of high school life.

Did you ever poo in your pants during high school?
 
Kilau

Kilau

Member
al roker pooped my pants GIF
 
nush

nush

Member
This is the ultimate.

During morning school assembly during a pause in the headmaster talking to us a kid sitting in our row dropped a loud fart. A fart enhanced by the reverb of the plastic chairs we were sitting on and the silence of the large assembly hall.

Everybody heard it, the entire school was in that hall at the time. The laughter didn't stop for an entire ten minutes. When the teachers became more frustrated shouting at us to stop laughing, it made it even funnier.
 
Nitty_Grimes

Nitty_Grimes

Made a crappy phPBB forum once ... once.
nush said:
This is the ultimate.

During morning school assembly during a pause in the headmaster talking to us a kid sitting in our row dropped a loud fart. A fart enhanced by the reverb of the plastic chairs we were sitting on and the silence of the large assembly hall.

Everybody heard it, the entire school was in that hall at the time. The laughter didn't stop for an entire ten minutes. When the teachers became more frustrated shouting at us to stop laughing, it made it even funnier.
Click to expand...
Similar event. Assembly and kid dropped a clanger of a fart. Kid sitting next to him shouted out really loudly ‘ohhhhhhhhh noooooooo’ in kinda slow motion.

Even the headmaster pissed himself laughing for that one let alone all the teachers and the kids.
 
hybrid_birth

hybrid_birth

Gold Member
One time in high school. I farted but it wasnt a fart. I asked the teacher if i could go to the restroom. I ran to the restroom but it was too late.

I had shitted my pants. I was in the bathroom forever trying to figure out what to do. So i took off my shitty underwear and put it in my binder.

Then i went to the nurse. She let me go home after i told her i felt sick.

Looking back i should have put my underwear in the trash and cover it up.
 
Power Pro

Power Pro

Member
The group of friends I had in high school, whenever a group of us were hanging out, some of them were not shy about just dropping ass and having a laugh about it. One thing they all did, and I have no idea where it came from, but if someone farted, they would follow it up by saying "safety"

High school is fucking weird.
 
nush

nush

Member
Power Pro said:
The group of friends I had in high school, whenever a group of us were hanging out, some of them were not shy about just dropping ass and having a laugh about it. One thing they all did, and I have no idea where it came from, but if someone farted, they would follow it up by saying "safety"

High school is fucking weird.
Click to expand...
Safety fart, means don’t rip ass too hard in case you follow through.
 
RagnarokIV

RagnarokIV

Member
Power Pro said:
The group of friends I had in high school, whenever a group of us were hanging out, some of them were not shy about just dropping ass and having a laugh about it. One thing they all did, and I have no idea where it came from, but if someone farted, they would follow it up by saying "safety"

High school is fucking weird.
Click to expand...
I vaguely remember safety!
 
cormack12

cormack12

Gold Member
One of mates farted in school and it was one of those that would give your nose aids.

Teacher sent him out to stand on the centre circle until the smell had dissipated.


Another time at work, our manager was running late cos of trains. And he came in with no tie. Said he needed a dump at the station but they had no bog roll. So had to wipe his ass on his tie.
 
Last edited:
Badlucktroll

Badlucktroll

Member
not me but i was in gamestop once and this bigger guy ripped a giant squeeker then acted like nothing happened
 
Last edited:
Rran

Rran

Member
Interesting that there've been a couple morning school meeting ones here already. I tried to eek one out in 5th grade during a morning assembly and it ended up being a ripper. That sucker reverberated throughout the gym and the entire class next to us turned and looked in my direction. The teachers tried their best to save me from my embarrassment. No laughing, at least, and now I have a good story to tell.

I think "safety" was part of this weird doorknob game, at least with my crew. If someone farted, another person could declare "doorknob" and punch the farter until he (or she) touched a doorknob nearby. But the farter could preempt that whole business by declaring "safety" first.
 
Toots

Toots

Gold Member
Never shat myself in school, but once i ripped the whole crotch of my jeans doing the splits.
Fortunately it was just before going home for the day so i just got up, grab my stuff and left :messenger_grinning_sweat:
 
ssringo

ssringo

Member
Had some big farts but never shat myself in school or anywhere else other than when I was very young.

...until a couple days ago. I'm recovering from a bad about of stomach flu and nothing had come out of my anus for a couple days. No solid, liquids or gas. So when things finally started moving again it was just gas. A little toot here, a prolonged rip there. And then it wasn't just gas. And with my bowels already weak I couldn't pinch it off before a bit squirted out. If it ended there it wouldn't be so bad but I was laying in bed and with the (quite difficult) struggle to stand up to get to the bathroom I couldn't keep it all in.

On the plus side I needed to shower and change the sheets anyways.
 
MarkMe2525

MarkMe2525

Member
Not a highscool story, but same genre. I found myself in the hallway next to our hotels' pool with a rumbling gut. I knew what this was, I spent most of the previous night sitting on my friends back porch sharing a case of budweiser. All I had to do was wait until the group of executives passed me and then I could release. When the time came, I did a quick look left then a quick look right, and then I relaxed. As my bottom reverberated, it was accompanied by a strange "heat". Did I just....... yes I did. Surprisingly, the subsequent phonecall to my boss went over better than I expected. When I told him "I am going home, I just shit my pants", he was supportive. While I could detect a small measure of disappointment, he let me how he understood, and it had happened to him before. He was a good dude.
 
Last edited:
calistan

calistan

Member
One afternoon I went to a pub in the countryside, about 40 minutes walk from my house. Had lunch and a few pints of the local cider, and about halfway home I started getting the most horrific gut cramps. I was with my girlfriend and didn't want her to see me taking a wild shit with no toilet paper. I thought I could make it back, so I clenched up and kept walking.

But things only got more uncomfortable. I'd missed my opportunity to shit like a bear, as I was now back among houses and streets. Still a good 10 minutes from the comfort of my own toilet.

That's when my sphincter could no longer stand the pressure, and I sprayed what seemed like gallons of hot liquid shit right down my trouser legs, which were tucked into my wellies. So I hobbled the rest of the way home, smelling like a pig farm, toes squelching in my own sewage. Had to strip off and hose myself down in the garden.
 
Stinkbug

Stinkbug

Neo Member
Power Pro said:
The group of friends I had in high school, whenever a group of us were hanging out, some of them were not shy about just dropping ass and having a laugh about it. One thing they all did, and I have no idea where it came from, but if someone farted, they would follow it up by saying "safety"

High school is fucking weird.
Click to expand...
When my friends would say that, it was b/c if you farted and didn't say "safety", people would start hitting you. Saying "safety" meant you wouldn't be hit


Edit: i forgot about the"doorknob" thing. I thought I was forgetting something...
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

So it's true that when you're grown your friends really aint shit huh?
2 3
112
5K
RavageX replied
My family has owned a lot of pet's. I want to tell you about them
25
1K
Badlucktroll replied
Embaraasing Moments During Video Game Sessions
Social Community
26
2K
Heimdall_Xtreme replied
What was your childhood nickname?
31
1K
Plashe replied
I'm totally lost about a future relationship(Girls, Problems, Sadness, Love)
Opinion 2
80
6K
Northeastmonk replied
Top Bottom