This is not an easy topic to discuss.
I guess for me it boils down to this:
1) NO ONE who smokes, fucks up his/hero own body through various material substances and just runs from "real life" problems in a way that involves real-life stress relief systems (alcohol, partying till you pass out, drugs, prescription drugs, etc etc) has a right to call up on those who "run" to the "virtual" life. No one. Either all forms of escapes are fine or none are. (An exaggeration, surely, but "my method of coping is cool, while yours sucks is as far from ideal as it possibly could)
2) There is no such thing as virtual, though. Really.
The same argument is about the Biblical God. I think that several interpretations of the Biblical God are outdated, potentially evil mental constructs. But even if that is true, that construct has an effect on other people, because it inspires them, motivates them, works though them. So even though something is not *real*, it can have *real* effects. Same goes for "virtual reality". If your boss does not shout with you tomorrow because tonight he will have a virtual blowjob from OneechanXYZ Simulator via Oculus Rift 4.55122, then YOU will benefit from his "escape". Simple as that.
And the less frustration in *real* life thanks to the escape/coping mechanisms (Whatever that might mean for you), the better we *all* are. And that is kinda the goal, imho.
And no, not everyone will escape and society wont collapse. Before we start fearing that, let us take a look at alcohol, tobacco, and prisons, mental health facilities. Let us fix the HUGE leaks in the ship before worrying about that crack in the fourth wall.