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When you look at the egyptian mythology story of Horus vs. Set it's pretty hilarious

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Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Many people are under the impression that Set was the evil gode in the Egyptian Mythology hiarchy when that is far from the truth. Set once helped the Sun god Ra take out Apep, Lord of Chaos.

Set was jealous of his brother Osiris and their shared sister Isis, the latter two married together. Set killed Osiris, Isis mummified Osiris, had sex with the mummy, and gave birth to Horus. From here the best details of the incident take place

Acording to Papyrus Chester-Beatty I, Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set. However, Set still refused to relent, and the other gods were getting tired from over eighty years of fighting and challenges. Horus and Set challenged each other to a boat race, where they each raced in a boat made of stone. Horus and Set agreed, and the race started. But Horus had an edge: his boat was made of wood painted to resemble stone, rather than true stone. Set's boat, being made of heavy stone, sank, but Horus's did not. Horus then won the race, and Set stepped down and officially gave Horus the throne of Egypt. But after the New Kingdom, Set still was considered Lord of the desert and its oases.

Semen lettuce. Calling semen. Stone Boats.

How did Set not call out Horus for cheating?
 
We need a Mythology GAF thread where we discuss and laugh at the antics of the gods
or post interesting stories and legends about them. OT title can be, "They Must Be Crazy!"
 

Mego Thor

Neo Member
1963-5-Horus.jpg


"Maybe I should have picked a different mythology."

- Affable Alan Moore
 

neobiz

Member
They say people weren't dumber in the past but I'm not so sure

We have people that think there is an invisible man living in the sky judging us who will send us to an eternity of fire if we behave badly.

It's all relative.
 

Clydefrog

Member
“yo, I called set’s semen but all I got was a voicemail from him saying “I’m at the river, leave a message and call me back! Woo!”
 

Palmer_v1

Member
So Horus was Set's nephew via a combination of fratricide and necrophilia, and dominance between the two was established via inseminating each other, and/or racing things that were never meant to be raced.

I feel like the whole thing was a practical joke from the other gods.

"Hey guys, check this out, I told Set he had to fuck Horus if he wanted our respect and he's actually going to do it!"

Several days later...

"He did WHAT to his salad? Jesus H. Christ, can we just drown them in the river already? I bet we could trick them into drowning themselves, actually."
 

Avixph

Member
So Horus was Set's nephew via a combination of fratricide and necrophilia, and dominance between the two was established via inseminating each other, and/or racing things that were never meant to be raced.

I feel like the whole thing was a practical joke from the other gods.

"Hey guys, check this out, I told Set he had to fuck Horus if he wanted our respect and he's actually going to do it!"

Several days later...

"He did WHAT to his salad? Jesus H. Christ, can we just drown them in the river already? I bet we could trick them into drowning themselves, actually."

What?
 

big ander

Member
The most messed up part of this:
lettuce, which was Set's favorite food
fuck you set. what, your favorite color's white too I bet? #1 drink a cup of warm water? you really love to just stare at the sand sometimes? wasteman
 

Sonicbug

Member
You missed a good part if that story. At some point during the trial Ra gets annoyed and basically takes his ball and goes home. One of the goddesses goes to get his sulking ass and to cheer him up flashes him. He relents and goes back to listen to the argument.

Ancient Egyptian mythology is awesome.
 

Ventara

Member
lol, this is pretty messed up. Jizzing in someone else's salad, not noticing your dick slipping out, calling forth semen. Did a crackpot write this?
 

depths20XX

Member
Oh man, imagine the look on Set's face when they called Horus' semen forth and he realized he had just been dominated.
 
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