Steve Youngblood
Member
Lots of people in college just happen to meet a lot of people -- be it just acquaintances, friends, or potential partners. This can happen just over the course of having an active social life.
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Your wife slept with over 20 guys in college, she tells you 20 years later
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Lots of people in college just happen to meet a lot of people -- be it just acquaintances, friends, or potential partners. This can happen just over the course of having an active social life.
Omegasquash
Member
There aren't enough lols for this shit.
Devolution
Member
He's just projecting, like so many others in this thread.
You sound like a barrel of laughs.
I often forget that some people have views vastly opposed to mine. I just can't begin to understand why someone would care on the amount of partners someone has had. There is some deep down insecurity going on if your wife telling you she banged 20 guys in 4 years makes you feel disgusted. What does it matter? She is with you isn't she? You've been with her for 20 years and during those years everything was just peachy so whats the problem now?
Its as stupid as a white dude getting all pissed off at his girlfriend afer finding out she has slept with a black dude in the past. Seriously, get over it.
Its as stupid as a white dude getting all pissed off at his girlfriend afer finding out she has slept with a black dude in the past. Seriously, get over it.
Omegasquash
Member
I know, I just can't help but laugh.
So you judge promiscuous people, calling them disgusting, and then post this shit? Are you a troll?
EDIT: nevermind, troll is too obvious.
phosphor112
Banned
I don't care if someone has different sexual preferences. I don't care if they just fuck to have fun. I don't care if someone is straight, gay, or fucks someone in a Pony suit, for some reason though, whatever it may be, I find "20 people" during college (4 years) revolting. That's just how I feel. It just seems like an extremely short time span for what it is.
Repulsive.
That's understandable for some I suppose.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
I'd rather support my family. And for what it's worth. I think the US's view on capitalism is shit. I'm in the medical field, and I'd prefer it to be "socialist" because I find helping people (putting happiness in people) is more important than the bullshit money that is behind the medical industry.
Devolution
Member
Are you not judging their actions from your skewed ass perspective?
phosphor112
Banned
Yes ma'am.
learnedhand
Member
After 20 years of marriage, such an admission wouldn't have much of an impact. By then you should have a pretty good idea if you are compatible.
But what if she told you this after being together for only 3 months? Does this change your outlook on the relationship? And if so, why?
Obviously, we have a lot rico suaves on gaf, but 20 is still a lot; double the number of total lifetime partners stated in most studies.
I dunno. Maybe I'm old (40ish), but for me, sex and emotion are still intertwined. It is not simply a bodily function that must be satisfied, and the closest warm body would fill the need. It remains the most intimate physical connection between two people.
Maybe the proliferation of porn-on-demand has changed how we perceive/value sex. Don't get me wrong, I love my porn, and maybe if I was single I'd accept any excuse to screw as many people as possible.
But 20 is still a lot.
But what if she told you this after being together for only 3 months? Does this change your outlook on the relationship? And if so, why?
Obviously, we have a lot rico suaves on gaf, but 20 is still a lot; double the number of total lifetime partners stated in most studies.
I dunno. Maybe I'm old (40ish), but for me, sex and emotion are still intertwined. It is not simply a bodily function that must be satisfied, and the closest warm body would fill the need. It remains the most intimate physical connection between two people.
Maybe the proliferation of porn-on-demand has changed how we perceive/value sex. Don't get me wrong, I love my porn, and maybe if I was single I'd accept any excuse to screw as many people as possible.
But 20 is still a lot.
Devolution
Member
Then own your own choices instead of acting like you're qualified to talk about getting random sex since you obviously aren't.
edible_candle
Member
Go to party with friends on weekend. Hit it off with a person. Go home with person. Money spent: $10 on booze for the party. Time wasted: Same amount of time I planned to waste in the first place (if enjoying life counts as time wasted).
What about just striking up conversation with a classmate during a project? Or during research with colleagues? At work? People meet all the time, and occasionally it leads to sex. Actively spending time and money is not necessarily a requirement.
I often find that 90% of the people who say "I don't judge them but I think it's wrong" to my face or around liberal people suddenly get a lot braver when they are around people who think the same way and go out of their way to slut shame people (mostly girls, even when they say they don't care about the gender of a promiscuous person) for the most trivial things.
It's not everyone and surprisingly I am very close friends with someone (he's muslim) who holds the same beliefs but he really keeps them to himself.
It's not everyone and surprisingly I am very close friends with someone (he's muslim) who holds the same beliefs but he really keeps them to himself.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
No. In fact, three months seems like a better time than twenty years. Seems odd to me that that one's past lovers would never come up before. I guess if she was used to being judged negatively for it she'd keep it to herself.
Most people I know who've happily played the field eventually get tired of it and do indeed seek a longer, deeper relationship. 20 people easily accommodates a mix of longer relationships and one-night stands in a four year span.
Devolution
Member
They always give themselves away with their word choices.
Steve Youngblood
Member
After only three months? I don't know, how old are we? What's her recent dating record look like? The only thing that I could see raising some alarms is if college is in the recent past and I'd fear that she's still enjoying playing the field. Even then, I don't know if it would be a big concern for me save for the fact that maybe I'm worried that I'm looking ahead more long term than she is? Because if it's just a matter of "I like her, she's good company, and the sex is good," then I'd stick with wondering what difference it made.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Five guys a year doesn't seem like much to me. If I had as many options as a girl who looked as good as I did for a guy my numbers during those years would have been in four digits.
freenudemacusers
Member
dear god
I would not be too surprised by that number. Most of the girls I have dated have be reasonably active sexually.
GungHo
Single-handedly caused Exxon-Mobil to sue FOX, start World War 3
:lol
dude, come on. it's like what, a couple hours out of your day tops? that's a pretty good use of time.
ive been doing this for years
And the way they talk. They sound like weaklings. I prefer an upfront, vocal and agressive sexist.
Who needs a social life, being forever alone saves you time and money!
phosphor112
Banned
I went to IUPUI, so maybe that's why my perspective on how much effort it takes to do these things is different. There are no frats or sororities here as they are on the main campus' (IU and Purdue) which are both in different cities. Downtown at night often doesn't occupy many college students as they usually go to Bloomington (where IU is at) or to Muncie (Ball State) as both of those campuses are generally very busy with parties and social interaction. Getting to both involves several hour drives which I didn't want to invest. I went to parties and mingled, but usually because of the school work ethic, and job obligations, it was usually the same 50 to 100 people that gathered together instead of getting a new mix of students at every party.
Also, STD's are a huge problem in Indiana. Specifically Syphilis.
I'm happily married with a strong circle of friends. Working full time with mandatory on-call shifts (hospitals don't close you know) keeps me occupied but I find plenty of time to hang out.
You do know there are some people that want to concentrate on their college work and thus don't get into big, long relationships at that time. They want to be able to do their work, and possibly be free to go where their career takes them right afterwards. These people still have physical needs, though, and might have sex here and there. When you don't have someone constant, amassing 20 people over the course of college (which, mind you might not necessarily be just 4 years) isn't really that huge of a deal.
PorcellainThrill
Member
This
The OP is worded in this way so people can come out and spout their sexist bullshit.
It is a variant of "I totally like black guys, but I wouldn't want them in my neighbourhood."
freenudemacusers
Member
why do that when you can get a dildo or fleshlight from amazon or another deep discount website i found on slickdeals? you need to budget for this stuff sex is expensive and takes time. also work to increase sensitivity to reduce time spend engaging in sex acts. Efficiency is key.
What's with all this "20 people is normal/not insanely high" talk? I think our society's focus on sex (a.k.a. "everybody is having sex right now!! Why aren't you????") has skewed peoples' views on how sex actually goes down in real life.
20 people IS a lot, relatively speaking.
20 people IS a lot, relatively speaking.
phosphor112
Banned
You just brought down the wrath of hell on you.
PorcellainThrill
Member
Masturbating is also a huge time sink. Castration is easily the most efficient.
Relatively speaking, why should we give a shit whether someone has had "a lot" (relatively speaking) or not?
Vermillion
Banned
True enough.
Playing Devil's Advocate for a second, one could assume that a person's sexual appetite is far greater than normal, or that they did it for reasons other than sexual pleasure.
Neither of which are particularly bad in any way.
After all: "Everything in this world is about sex, except for sex. Sex is about power."
Steve Youngblood
Member
Without looking up statistics, it sounds like it might be above average. But it honestly doesn't strike me as some absurd "Jesus Christ, was she ever not trying to get laid" figure by any means.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
To be fair, if your sexual activities involved phosphor112, you too would think of them as revolting.
20 people over four years is a different person every 2 1/2 months. That does seem like a bit much, if that's how you've behaved continuously over nearly half of a decade. I don't think I'd want to date someone whose sex pattern indicates that they aren't willing or capable of settling into a relationship, and I'd additionally be concerned about STDs.
But if we'd been faithfully married for 20 years I don't think I would really care.
But if we'd been faithfully married for 20 years I don't think I would really care.
Vermillion
Banned
Was that really necessary?
Devolution
Member
It's probably kept pretty artificially low given the backlash that happens when it gets over 7. The horror.
Sixfortyfive
He who pursues two rabbits gets two rabbits.
No STDs? Who cares.
I don't understand the mindset of anyone who would have an issue with this.
I don't understand the mindset of anyone who would have an issue with this.
tycoonheart
Member
Classy.
Omegasquash
Member
insert laughing gifs here.
Professor Beef
Banned
There are plenty of people who just want sex and don't want to be tied down in a relationship while in their 20s.
Vermillion
Banned
Devolution
Member
I have more respect for people who are honest with themselves whether this is plowing a different person a night without any attachments to someone else because they're not ready for it or keeping a monogamous relationship because random sex isn't what they're interested in.
The only people who should be dogged are those who can't maintain physical monogamy when they promise it or spend their time slut shaming others because they're insecure with their own sex life.
The only people who should be dogged are those who can't maintain physical monogamy when they promise it or spend their time slut shaming others because they're insecure with their own sex life.
Steve Youngblood
Member
Perhaps. Although it wouldn't surprise me if the average or median or whatever statistical term would be most applicable example was around that 7-10 range just because I don't doubt that a few long term relationships with a few hookups might be the "standard" experience, so to speak. But in terms of someone not looking to get tied down either due to choice or hectic lifestyle, 20 hardly sounds like an astronomical figure. Particularly if the person is attractive, if their sole motivation was to get laid, I'm sure they could have racked up way more than 20 partners.
It really isn't a lot for a typical college aged female. At all.
phosphor112
Banned
I probably deserved it. I've got my opinions, it offends people, if he wants to take a jab for me calling promiscuity disgusting, I'm ok with it.
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