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Embarrassing Confession Time! GO GO GO!!!

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Horseticuffs

Full werewolf off the buckle
Ronito, what the hell is TOR? Like nerds are trolling The Old Republic trying to get laid by kids?

Goddamn EA, I heard it wasn't doing great but has it come to this?
 
This whole thread:

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Ok,
Now that the anonymous confessions is on hold I figured I'd sum up the unpostable stuff from the anonymous confessions (keep in mind these were unpostable either because of nsfw pics, confessor asked for them not to be posted, they were involving other gaffers, or racist stuff, or they were banned/non-gaffers, or illegal stuff)

So here's what I remember:

- A guy is married to a black woman. He's horribly racist. She wants kids. She doesn't know that he's racist. He doesn't want to have kids with her because he doesn't want his "seed degenerated"

- A guy hooks up with a transexual woman at a bar. He didn't know she was transexual. When he finds out he beats her up and runs away. But now gets hardest when looking at transexual porn.

- A guy wrote a five page email about all the horrible things he had done to animals and people. I forwarded it on to authorities. They couldn't do much. That stuff still haunts me.

- Lots of people on TOR looking for naked teens.

- More than a few confessions of highly questionable exploration with underaged family members (confessors were under aged too)

- One gaffer kept a folder full of another gaffer's posts and pics.

- One banned guy masturbated only over a toilet because he couldn't bring himself to touch cum. He thought it was "gay"

- One gaffer admitted to being a bi-swinger but wanted it secret.

- One guy admitted to driving past the junior high to look at the girls.

- One guy essentially admitted to insurance fraud

- One guy was addicted to hookers and bareback. He got genital herpes and sent pics to prove it.

- One gaffer sent me a pic of them using a butt plug with the caption "It's a secret to everyone." A fave.

- One guy who worked in IT essentially admitted to not hiring Indians because he was racist. Accompanied with a nice racist rant.

- There were 2 date rapists and 1 molester. Authorities alerted again. Nothing.

- Several posts about people who claimed to be "well known gaffers" (some of them actually were) that admitted to pirating all the games they talk about.

- One guy sent a pic of his "bust rag". Disgusting

- One female who didn't have an account but listed out all the stuff that she put in her vagina. I don't remember all of it but it was like the handle of her hair brush, her curling iron, a toilet plunger, a banana, celery, a bottle of baby food, a golf club handle, a wrench, a toothbrush, a miniature baseball bat. There was more but I forget.

- There something about using used condoms to make balloons or something. It was so obviously fake I didn't post it.

- And dick pics. Lots of those.

- Oh and bromance. Lots of bromance. With little notes "please don't post this!"

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I am so sorry, Ronito. Just... just end the Anonymous Confessions. You've earned your rest, my friend. You have earned your rest.
 
it was mostly at my cousin's or grandma's house, never at my house though, it was usually in the closet on behind her bed with the door closed. Backshots, riding, we did it all. Even eat the kitty a few times, she never gave me a BJ though,lol damnit.

It was all good, only lasted a year though, plus she was only 16, maybe she was horny as hell back then i donno /shruggif.

last time i saw her was like 3 years ago xmas time, awkward as hell, we dont talk about it. Never questioned why we and my lil bro got involved in it but we liked it anyways. Damn good ass too, she def' didnt look her age lol.
 

Croc

Banned
it was mostly at my cousin's or grandma's house, never at my house though, it was usually in the closet on behind her bed with the door closed. Backshots, riding, we did it all. Even eat the kitty a few times, she never gave me a BJ though,lol damnit.

It was all good, only lasted a year though, plus she was only 16, maybe she was horny as hell back then i donno /shruggif.

last time i saw her was like 3 years ago xmas time, awkward as hell, we dont talk about it. Never questioned why we and my lil bro got involved in it but we liked it anyways. Damn good ass too, she def' didnt look her age lol.

hmm
 
it was mostly at my cousin's or grandma's house, never at my house though, it was usually in the closet on behind her bed with the door closed. Backshots, riding, we did it all. Even eat the kitty a few times, she never gave me a BJ though,lol damnit.

It was all good, only lasted a year though, plus she was only 16, maybe she was horny as hell back then i donno /shruggif.

last time i saw her was like 3 years ago xmas time, awkward as hell, we dont talk about it. Never questioned why we and my lil bro got involved in it but we liked it anyways. Damn good ass too, she def' didnt look her age lol.

So she was 16 and you were 10? Uhm.
 

Steelrain

Member
i fucked my cousin when i was 10

it was mostly at my cousin's or grandma's house, never at my house though, it was usually in the closet on behind her bed with the door closed. Backshots, riding, we did it all. Even eat the kitty a few times, she never gave me a BJ though,lol damnit.

It was all good, only lasted a year though, plus she was only 16, maybe she was horny as hell back then i donno /shruggif.

last time i saw her was like 3 years ago xmas time, awkward as hell, we dont talk about it. Never questioned why we and my lil bro got involved in it but we liked it anyways. Damn good ass too, she def' didnt look her age lol.

Z1eIy.gif
 

FStop7

Banned
I once masturbated in a van full of family members on a long vacation trip. I pretended I was sleeping and ever so gently rubbed one out, but I hadn't thought far enough ahead to think about what to do with the jizz. It was all over my shirt and the van didn't have any windows down so I could smell it. It permeated the air around me and I was sure other people could smell it so my mind was frantically coming up with excuses once the inevitable "WTF is that smell?" happened. I pretended I had to piss and when we stopped at the next rest stop I cleaned up as best I could and we resumed the trip...nobody said a word.

I sure as fuck hope my parents didn't smell my jizz.

5kty7.gif
 
I'm legitimately diagnosed with "Deadly Semen Backup." As a result of not starting masturbation when I was supposed to (I guess I had better things to think about.), my urethra didn't get the kind of...um..."conditioning" necessary for creating a decently-sized "channel" and thus regular emissions.

So it all backs up inside my dick for days and days until it reaches critical mass, at which point I fucking blow three weeks worth of semen all over the place in my sleep.

(And it hurts.)

(Aaaaaand I should probably go back to the doctor.)

But anyway, the actual confession is when my Gifted Education class was in Europe on a school trip. The first night in the hotel my friend told his mom he needed money for "bathroom mints" but actually used it to buy a metric fuckton of condoms instead. Then he drafted the idea of having everyone fling used condoms at this British dude's car outside the window, so he passed them around and everyone did their thing. Except me, who had to fill it with soap. (But I still had the last laugh when the owner was able to rake off everyone else's condom except mine.)

(And that dude almost killed himself with a life vest he stole from the plane so I guess I'm not that bad afterall.)
 
Not really embarrassing but I'm addicted to sour worms. Not in the I have to have this constantly but every couple of weeks I get a craving and must have them.
 

Omni

Member
I lost my virginity to my best mate's girlfriend (they're still together). Was a few years ago and we had been drinking... but it's still really awkward. We decided it would be best to never mention it again.

Not embarrassing really, but something I've never told anyone.
 

Wilbur

Banned
Isolation?what type of school you go to?

Normal state school in the UK; if we were naughty we'd get detentions, records of concern etc but if you'd done something really bad you were put in ICE (which stood for something) for the day, 8-4. You just do work and sit in silence with a few other kids and teachers who swap shifts.
 

Wilbur

Banned
it was mostly at my cousin's or grandma's house, never at my house though, it was usually in the closet on behind her bed with the door closed. Backshots, riding, we did it all. Even eat the kitty a few times, she never gave me a BJ though,lol damnit.

It was all good, only lasted a year though, plus she was only 16, maybe she was horny as hell back then i donno /shruggif.

last time i saw her was like 3 years ago xmas time, awkward as hell, we dont talk about it. Never questioned why we and my lil bro got involved in it but we liked it anyways. Damn good ass too, she def' didnt look her age lol.

On the train and I can't breathe from laughing

Late night GAF is when the truth comes out.

In FootyGAF, we call it afer dark
 
Once dropped a log in a fabric shop, was streaming down my leg and everything.

Pretty sure they have it in a glass case now, but I've never been back, for fear that they might recognise me...

Oh and I was 15... This would have been about 6 years ago.
 

Kwixotik

Member
I'm legitimately diagnosed with "Deadly Semen Backup." As a result of not starting masturbation when I was supposed to (I guess I had better things to think about.), my urethra didn't get the kind of...um..."conditioning" necessary for creating a decently-sized "channel" and thus regular emissions.

So it all backs up inside my dick for days and days until it reaches critical mass, at which point I fucking blow three weeks worth of semen all over the place in my sleep.

If you learn to control your powers you could make so much money in porn.
 
What the hell is wrong with you people? I seriously you hope guys are going all-out Rapala to get some tags.

  • sucking your own dicks
  • wearing jizz covered t-shirts in public
  • fapping in the car during family road trips
  • watching porn starring your parents (lol, "accidentally")

No wonder ronito can't handle this shit.

Nothing wrong with sucking your own dick, that's actually kinda hot.

And the most recent embarrassing thing I've done is get drunk on the NeoGAF tinychat and strip down to a jockstrap. Then someone took a screenshot and posted on GAF.

It's all cool though.
 
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