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Depression : Page 167
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
(03-20-2013, 08:39 AM)
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I feel like we need to bring back scheduled chats. Both the Skype and Mibbit rooms are dead pretty much any time I check them out. We tried this once before but I can't remember what day/time we decided would be best for everyone. Thoughts?
Corky
Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
(03-20-2013, 09:53 AM)
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Fuck yea!

You know when you think life just can't get worse? How everything you touch turns to shit, can't get out of bed, constantly sick, body aching and the one light in the tunnel is you thinking "well, it can't get worse than this so I guess I'll bump into something positive soon".

No.

It always get's worse, it's amazing really, you feel so bad that you can't possibly comprehend feeling worse and yet you keep getting harsh reminders that there is no light in the tunnel, it won't get better no matter how much you'd like to cling to that shred of hope or how others try to pep you up. In fact it will always get worse.
TUROK
Banned
(03-20-2013, 10:08 AM)
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Originally Posted by Corky

Fuck yea!

You know when you think life just can't get worse? How everything you touch turns to shit, can't get out of bed, constantly sick, body aching and the one light in the tunnel is you thinking "well, it can't get worse than this so I guess I'll bump into something positive soon".

No.

It always get's worse, it's amazing really, you feel so bad that you can't possibly comprehend feeling worse and yet you keep getting harsh reminders that there is no light in the tunnel, it won't get better no matter how much you'd like to cling to that shred of hope or how others try to pep you up. In fact it will always get worse.

It can always get worse. But it can always get better, too. Life is full of ups and downs. I think it's safe to say that a lot of us in here have had way more downs than ups. I'm not really good at this encouragement stuff, but I implore you to wait for the ups.

I'm an extremely cynical person. Every day I feel like things just won't get better, but for some reason, I just refuse to throw in the towel. It's definitely not optimism, but rather a feeling that I just cannot allow myself to give up, that I just cannot let this sad and pathetic existence go to waste.

I hope you can find that one thing that keeps you from giving up, even if it's something as simple as just trying to stick it out for the ride.
Corky
Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
(03-20-2013, 10:18 AM)
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Originally Posted by TUROK

It can always get worse. But it can always get better, too. Life is full of ups and downs. I think it's safe to say that a lot of us in here have had way more downs than ups. I'm not really good at this encouragement stuff, but I implore you to wait for the ups.

I'm an extremely cynical person. Every day I feel like things just won't get better, but for some reason, I just refuse to throw in the towel. It's definitely not optimism, but rather a feeling that I just cannot allow myself to give up, that I just cannot let this sad and pathetic existence go to waste.

I hope you can find that one thing that keeps you from giving up, even if it's something as simple as just trying to stick it out for the ride.

I've waited for what feels like a lifetime, and not on my ass mind you I've honestly tried making it better but my life keeps getting worse. See that's the problem, for once I can understand a part of this hell, if I had been in bed and just trying to 'wait everything out' then sure I wouldn't be surprised when it all inevitably goes to shit. But when you actively try to make it better and yet not a single thing improves... well that just hurts.


Yeah I used to feel the same, that I won't give up as this miserable existence needs to be turned around and put to some use... but that's long gone I literally don't care anymore.

Eh don't worry, screw the encouragement stuff, I'm starting to feel that's the worst thing about this : people telling me 'it will get better', no it won't, why should it better? Random chance? Giving people false hope is bloody cruel, from now on if anyone asks me about things related to depression or w/e I'm gonna be brutally honest. No point in lying to yourselves/others. Yeah maybe it gets better for some, kudos to them though.
brolster
Junior Member
(03-20-2013, 03:17 PM)
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I just visited the doctor and she had diagnosed me with depression and adhd. She gave me a choice between an antidepressant that could help me focus in school or adderall. I chose adderall because Im not doing too well in school so I wanted to get 'quick fix'. I'm just wondering if anyone had/is taking adderall or some suggestions on how not to get addicted whether or not to take it everyday etc. I also see a therapist once a week if that helps
Collete
Member
(03-20-2013, 03:58 PM)
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Drowning...again...and again. It won't stop till I wither away...
"Hello darkness, my old friend".
BruiserBear
Banned
(03-20-2013, 04:04 PM)
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Originally Posted by Corky

I've waited for what feels like a lifetime, and not on my ass mind you I've honestly tried making it better but my life keeps getting worse. See that's the problem, for once I can understand a part of this hell, if I had been in bed and just trying to 'wait everything out' then sure I wouldn't be surprised when it all inevitably goes to shit. But when you actively try to make it better and yet not a single thing improves... well that just hurts.


Yeah I used to feel the same, that I won't give up as this miserable existence needs to be turned around and put to some use... but that's long gone I literally don't care anymore.

Eh don't worry, screw the encouragement stuff, I'm starting to feel that's the worst thing about this : people telling me 'it will get better', no it won't, why should it better? Random chance? Giving people false hope is bloody cruel, from now on if anyone asks me about things related to depression or w/e I'm gonna be brutally honest. No point in lying to yourselves/others. Yeah maybe it gets better for some, kudos to them though.

If someone could magically change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?
Corky
Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
(03-20-2013, 04:42 PM)
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Originally Posted by BruiserBear

If someone could magically change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

It's actually very simple, turn back the clock 6 years so I'm 20 again without losing the thoughts and memories of what made my shitty fucking pointless life end up the way it did and I'd be the happiest guy on Earth. But yeah, magic and all that.
canoli2006
Member
(03-20-2013, 04:47 PM)
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Girlfriend broke up with me and not properly dealing with the death of my father is causing me to be very unhappy and I think I am battling a little depression and anxiety. I do have suicidal thoughts but its nothing beyond thoughts. I would never do that to my mother. There is however a little discomfort in my chest that's beginning to alarm me. I made an appt with the VA today but its not until May 7th. Maybe I can get on a low dose antidepressant or something. I think it would benefit me to talk to a therapist or make some positive contacts in this thread. I am functioning though like going to work and classes.
Seanspeed
Banned
(03-20-2013, 05:22 PM)
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Originally Posted by Voyevoda007

I don't usually post here. But I need to share this with someone.

I'm 22 (gonna be 23 soon) and I'm having a hard time. I picked a major that I love, but can't seem to focus enough to succeed in it. Most of my buddies have graduated and I still have a long way to go. Moving from a Community College, to a University has really killed me. It feels like a totally different ball game. In the past I could usually bullshit through the assignments and get a decent grade but I can't even get a C in some of my classes. I scared that the University might kick me out and I would lose my Financial Aid. Focus seems to be a huge problem since I was a kid, and recently I been told I might have ADHD/ADD. I'm not even sure. I feel like a loser to be honest. I want to do good in school but just can't seem to get my head straight.

My social life is not better. Most of my close friends are heavy drug user, I love them but I can't be around them. Never had a girlfriend, or any close relationship with a woman. I have a job, but the pay is not nearly good enough.

I want to change, I want to be someone who has goals and achieve them. But I lack something.

I'd offer advice, but its all pointless. So easy to say, "Just tough it out", "Put in some extra effort", "Go and join some clubs" or whatever, but its nothing you haven't thought through before, I'm sure.

I just didn't want your post to be ignored. I'm not trying to do the whole 'pity' thing, but I wanted to say good luck, at least. It sucks when you feel no one is listening.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-20-2013, 05:31 PM)
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I feel like it's worth pointing out that by simply saying "I want to change" you already HAVE a goal in life, however minor you migh think it is. It's a start.


I feel like such an emotional trainwreck atm, with no (emotional) purpose I'm just clinging to fleeting people/events and start building emotional connections to them that I know won't last, so I'll be let down again right away and feel bad. I don't know what to do with my emotions :/
Collete
Member
(03-20-2013, 06:12 PM)
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Originally Posted by Smiley90

I feel like such an emotional trainwreck atm, with no (emotional) purpose I'm just clinging to fleeting people/events and start building emotional connections to them that I know won't last, so I'll be let down again right away and feel bad. I don't know what to do with my emotions :/

That's one of my problems now...I know it won't last....I know it won't do me any good by getting emotionally involved...But I still do this crap...part of me just wishes I did not like people at all...It may solve a lot of my problems...But my fucking brain and heart won't let me...It's like a curse that will never be purified...I just want to pass on...I just want to rest and be at peace...
Last edited by Collete; 03-20-2013 at 06:17 PM.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-20-2013, 06:16 PM)
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Originally Posted by Oomikami

That's one of my problems now...I know it won't last....I know it won't do me any good by getting emotionally involved...But I still do this crap...part of me just wishes I did not like people at all...It may solve a lot of my problems...But my fucking brain and heart won't let me...I just want to pass on...

Yeah... I'm really just not sure what to do. I am who I am and all these emotions and feelings I had for my now-ex are now just floating around and trying to focus on someone or something else instead of dissipating. It's scary because everything is so fleeting, and every re-attachement/disassociation hurts much more than it should. I want to be less emotional but... I can't... I need to find something less fleeting to focus my emotions on, because it's unlikely I'll find someONE less fleeting so fast, and I'm not sure that'd be best anyway.

Suggestions? :x
Collete
Member
(03-20-2013, 06:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by Smiley90

Yeah... I'm really just not sure what to do. I am who I am and all these emotions and feelings I had for my now-ex are now just floating around and trying to focus on someone or something else instead of dissipating. It's scary because everything is so fleeting, and every re-attachement/disassociation hurts much more than it should. I want to be less emotional but... I can't... I need to find something less fleeting to focus my emotions on, because it's unlikely I'll find someONE less fleeting so fast, and I'm not sure that'd be best anyway.

Suggestions? :x

You are right. Don't focus on someone that could be a love interest or what not. However, do make sure you have a good friend you can rely on to vent about this. If you don't have that, focus on creating something. Anything. You don't have to have any talent, just focus on creating something (I know this advice is stolen from someone else from this thread, credit where due.). It could be a model, a random doodle, a story (a story about you fighting depression could be...the writing doesn't have to be perfect...just like depression isn't), making a really laborious dessert, etc. I find that if you do focus on creating something it helps vent your feelings out into your creation. And once you're done, you can feel proud knowing you created something. It could be a failure, it doesn't matter. You made it. And pulled through to do it. Heck you might come up with something original....I don't know if this will help anything though.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-20-2013, 06:35 PM)
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Originally Posted by Oomikami

You are right. Don't focus on someone that could be a love interest or what not. However, do make sure you have a good friend you can rely on to vent about this. If you don't have that, focus on creating something. Anything. You don't have to have any talent, just focus on creating something (I know this advice is stolen from someone else from this thread, credit where due.). It could be a model, a random doodle, a story (a story about you fighting depression could be...the writing doesn't have to be perfect...just like depression isn't), making a really laborious dessert, etc. I find that if you do focus on creating something it helps vent your feelings out into your creation. Heck you might come up with something original....I don't know if this will help anything though.

Mhmmmmmmmm. I was hoping the suggestion wouldn't be "go work out" because i haven't been able to motivate myself to do that in years and that won't change now. So I'm glad you didn't :p

And yes I know I REALLY shouldn't let my emotions go to love interests, but I've already caught myself doing so, and it's not fair to myself because it's pre-occupying me much more than it should. And, ironically, will probably also ruin any chances in that love interest if I keep overthinking/overinvesting.

Creating something sounds intriguing. I've tried to bury it by working, but there's not much to do until May. I'll put some thought into making something, that's a great idea. Not sure what though...... I used to write a couple short stories back in high school, but don't think I'd wanna get back into that...
Collete
Member
(03-20-2013, 06:43 PM)
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Originally Posted by Smiley90

Mhmmmmmmmm. I was hoping the suggestion wouldn't be "go work out" because i haven't been able to motivate myself to do that in years and that won't change now. So I'm glad you didn't :p

And yes I know I REALLY shouldn't let my emotions go to love interests, but I've already caught myself doing so, and it's not fair to myself because it's pre-occupying me much more than it should. And, ironically, will probably also ruin any chances in that love interest if I keep overthinking/overinvesting.

Creating something sounds intriguing. I've tried to bury it by working, but there's not much to do until May. I'll put some thought into making something, that's a great idea. Not sure what though...... I used to write a couple short stories back in high school, but don't think I'd wanna get back into that...

I admit that "go work out" is the most highly overrated activity to suggest (I'm not saying it shouldn't be done however). Because I'm going to be honest, you can barely get yourself dressed to go to work much less go out. Screw that. It has to be something that's easily accessible.

It happens. We can't tell ourselves "HEY DON'T LOVE THIS PERSON IT'S BAD FOR YOU" but we end up doing it anyways. I can't tell you to do that either. The only thing you can do is let it run it's course and constantly think of their own flaws. Chances are, they aren't an angel themselves. They're about as ugly as sin inside and out.

A suggestion I used to do, make 1000 paper cranes. It's really time consuming but the tale is that if you make 1000 paper cranes, a wish of yours will come true according to Japanese folklore.
Making a paper crane can be difficult at first, but after doing so many, you kind of get used to do it. It doesn't have to be from origami paper, just as long as the paper is square, you can make a crane. Though I don't know if you want to do that.
Take a look at those short stories though and reread them, even if you don't want to continue them, it might give you an inspiration to pick it up again or give birth to a new idea.

How to get and develop killer story ideas

Fun lecture but it also helps gets you a good idea how to create new ideas for stories, heck I'm sure this could be used in art, not just writing (but that's a stretch).
Last edited by Collete; 03-20-2013 at 06:53 PM.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-20-2013, 06:54 PM)
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:x Thanks Oomi, I'll see if i can find something easily accessible. I like that idea. Creating something mhmmmm.

EDIT: I'm not saying I've already fallen in love again, far from it, I just feel like I care too much what certain people think of me already.
heidern
Junior Member
(03-20-2013, 06:58 PM)

Originally Posted by Smiley90

Yeah... I'm really just not sure what to do. I am who I am and all these emotions and feelings I had for my now-ex are now just floating around and trying to focus on someone or something else instead of dissipating. It's scary because everything is so fleeting, and every re-attachement/disassociation hurts much more than it should. I want to be less emotional but... I can't... I need to find something less fleeting to focus my emotions on, because it's unlikely I'll find someONE less fleeting so fast, and I'm not sure that'd be best anyway.

Suggestions? :x

You're looking in the wrong place. Instead of looking around you for people to be attached to, you should look within. If you were happy with yourself and who you are then you wouldn't need to find attachments. Because you'd be comfortable in your own skin. And then, you could look for attachments from a position of strength if you wanted to.
Collete
Member
(03-20-2013, 07:02 PM)
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Originally Posted by Smiley90

:x Thanks Oomi, I'll see if i can find something easily accessible. I like that idea. Creating something mhmmmm.

EDIT: I'm not saying I've already fallen in love again, far from it, I just feel like I care too much what certain people think of me already.

Did I say something wrong?
Also if you're into reading, read "Thief of Time" by Terry Pratchett...Fun original fantasy book as well.
http://www.amazon.com/Thief-Time-Ter.../dp/0061031321
You can order it if you don't feel like going to the bookstore

Ah I see. That can be a problem since I obsess over it myself. I'm not sure how I can help with that. But at the end of the day, people will not obsess and criticize you in every possible detail. Chances are they see the good in you that perhaps you can't see yourself. I doubt Windam criticizes and obsesses over every detail about you or a lot of your friends. Only stupid, narcissistic people do that to people and aren't worth your time.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-20-2013, 07:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by Oomikami

Did I say something wrong?
Also if you're into reading, read "Thief of Time" by Terry Pratchett...Fun original fantasy book as well.
http://www.amazon.com/Thief-Time-Ter.../dp/0061031321
You can order it if you don't feel like going to the bookstore

Ah I see. That can be a problem since I obsess over it myself. I'm not sure how I can help with that. But at the end of the day, people will not obsess and criticize you in every possible detail. Chances are they see the good in you that perhaps you can't see yourself. I doubt Windam criticizes and obsesses over every detail about you or a lot of your friends. Only stupid, narcissistic people do that to people and aren't worth your time.

Hu, nono, you said nothing wrong, quite the opposite! I really like your creating something idea. I'm not sure I want that to be writing or origami, but I'll look out for something I might like creating. Didn't think about that.

And it's not really about criticizing, actually. It's more about "liking" and me overthinking everything. It's like previously, I had this purpose in life of being there for my gf an making her happy made me happy. In retrospect, that was probably unhealthy, but... That's in retrospect. Now I feel like I've lost a large part of my purpose in life and my brain is trying to attribute these new people as my purpose in life, which is not good or fair for MANY reasons. So I want to take my brain's attention away from people and focus it on somehing healthier, like... Creating something. If those other people then NATURALLY become more important in my life, all the better, but they should have to earn that importance and shouldn't get that attention only based on my brain/my emotions having nothing else to focus on, because then I'll just end up getting hurt.

And Heidern, coincidentally I'm actually mostly happy with who I am, with exceptions of course.
Bagels
You got Moxie, kid!
(03-20-2013, 07:26 PM)
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Just a quick thank you to all of my friends in here who have offered their support during what has turned out to be a very challenging time in my life. I'm charging ahead, and I don't think I'd be in anywhere near this good of shape if not for having this community for however long it has been. I encourage everyone to make use of the people offering to talk in chat, on skype, on steam, etc. There are amazing people in this community.

I'm forgetting who I was kicking the idea around with, but since so many people in this thread are writers, and I like to have big projects to keep me occupied, it seems like a good time to float the idea of some kind of depression-GAF anthology. People could write whatever they'd like - nonfiction (your own story of depression, an essay about dietary approaches to depression, an exploration of how music has helped you, gaming and depression - these are all things I've talked to someone about already), poetry, short stories, cartoons, whatever you'd like.

I write (well, used to write - I want to get back into it) a great deal of nonfiction just for fun. You can probably tell from the length of my posts that I really like to write essays. :)
I'd be interested in trying to come up with some longer-form stuff for a depression-GAF collection.

I'm happy to head things up - I'm confident I can find people to help edit, work on layout, all that good stuff. We can make a nice little digital collection or, if we get crazy ambitious, think about offering printed copies through blurb or something. We'll see how many people are interested in contributing. I figure that any excuse to write is a good thing in and of itself, so we can worry about how exactly to distribute it later, yeah? Just so we plan from the start to make it available to people.

Anyone would be welcome to contribute, under whatever name you'd like - lurkers, regulars, sub-human junior members, even! Post here, PM me, skype: gaf.bagels, or send me an email at bagelsbirthday@yahoo.com (it's not my birthday any more, but the email account lives on!). There are a ton of people here who can give you writing prompts, if that would help.

Let me know if you think it's an okay idea, and if you'd like to contribute! Or, if there are things you'd really like to read about, let people know, too!
heidern
Junior Member
(03-20-2013, 09:11 PM)

Originally Posted by Smiley90

And Heidern, coincidentally I'm actually mostly happy with who I am, with exceptions of course.

Being happy with yourself and lacking purpose contradict each other. Purpose goes to the core of who you are, it's a foundation for everything and if you don't have it then you'll always be unhappy. That's why you should never attach your core purpose to anything external. Your purpose should always be directed within. That way your purpose will always be with you no matter what.
EdmondD
Member
(03-21-2013, 12:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by RatskyWatsky

I feel like we need to bring back scheduled chats. Both the Skype and Mibbit rooms are dead pretty much any time I check them out. We tried this once before but I can't remember what day/time we decided would be best for everyone. Thoughts?

I agree. I have been thinking of this myself I haven't joined the chats in quite some time. More people are willing to join when we have a set time and date for the chats.

Originally Posted by Corky

It's actually very simple, turn back the clock 6 years so I'm 20 again without losing the thoughts and memories of what made my shitty fucking pointless life end up the way it did and I'd be the happiest guy on Earth. But yeah, magic and all that.

I wish to also turn back the clock. I'm around the same age as you, I'm 27. When I was 20-21 I managed through great effort to actually escape depression for a time. I lost a lot of weight, had a decent job, was playing sports, making friends. Seemed like I was on the right track.
Then my grandma died of cancer and this was especially devastating to my mother who took care of her, along with my aunt, in her final days. I slipped back into depression. My work suffered. My friendships suffered. I got fired from my job. My girlfriend left me. I stop talking to my friends and ruined those relationships. One of the worst times in my life and years later I'm still trying to recover. Now, I'm as depressed as ever but I never lose hope. I try to remain optimistic. I beat depression once I know I can beat it again. You can too. I know you can. Everyone in this thread can.

Originally Posted by Bagels

Let me know if you think it's an okay idea, and if you'd like to contribute! Or, if there are things you'd really like to read about, let people know, too!

Yeah, I am interested in contributing. Sounds like a cool idea. I participate in the GAF Poetry Corner and have been thinking about trying out the GAF Creative Writing challenge as well. For some reason this is really intimidating me though. I'm actually nervous just thinking about it. I'll try to come up with something but I can't make any promises.
RionaaM
Member
(03-21-2013, 12:49 AM)
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So yeah, my mom got robbed on her way home tonight. I've tried, but i's impossible not to be a cynical asshole in this fucking shithole of a country.

There are some days I wish this fucking human race would just extinguish completely, including myself among them. Oh well, tomorrow will surely be better...

yeah, right :/
neojubei
Will drop pants for Sony.
(03-21-2013, 01:03 AM)
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Originally Posted by RionaaM

So yeah, my mom got robbed on her way home tonight. I've tried, but i's impossible not to be a cynical asshole in this fucking shithole of a country.

There are some days I wish this fucking human race would just extinguish completely, including myself among them. Oh well, tomorrow will surely be better...

yeah, right :/

i feel the same way.
FilthyLies
Member
(03-21-2013, 01:10 AM)

Originally Posted by Oomikami

I admit that "go work out" is the most highly overrated activity to suggest (I'm not saying it shouldn't be done however). Because I'm going to be honest, you can barely get yourself dressed to go to work much less go out. Screw that. It has to be something that's easily accessible.

It happens. We can't tell ourselves "HEY DON'T LOVE THIS PERSON IT'S BAD FOR YOU" but we end up doing it anyways. I can't tell you to do that either. The only thing you can do is let it run it's course and constantly think of their own flaws. Chances are, they aren't an angel themselves. They're about as ugly as sin inside and out.

A suggestion I used to do, make 1000 paper cranes. It's really time consuming but the tale is that if you make 1000 paper cranes, a wish of yours will come true according to Japanese folklore.
Making a paper crane can be difficult at first, but after doing so many, you kind of get used to do it. It doesn't have to be from origami paper, just as long as the paper is square, you can make a crane.
Though I don't know if you want to do that.
Take a look at those short stories though and reread them, even if you don't want to continue them, it might give you an inspiration to pick it up again or give birth to a new idea.

How to get and develop killer story ideas

Fun lecture but it also helps gets you a good idea how to create new ideas for stories, heck I'm sure this could be used in art, not just writing (but that's a stretch).

I had a depressed ex-GF who used to do this. She'd fold cranes at work or school or whatever and then give them to me. I went back through and unfolded them after we broke up, and lots of them had sad little messages on them: "I don't want to do this any more," "I know you don't really love me," etc. Serious punch to the gut, but it did give me an idea for a short story which I wrote (which I'd be more than happy to put forward for your anthology bagels, if you end up doing it), and a novel I want to write eventually.

I do think creating is therapeutic for depression, if you can actually start something. It's the getting going that's the hard part, of course.
Last edited by FilthyLies; 03-21-2013 at 01:12 AM.
MikeDip
God bless all my old friends/And god bless me too, why pretend?
(03-21-2013, 01:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by RionaaM

So yeah, my mom got robbed on her way home tonight. I've tried, but i's impossible not to be a cynical asshole in this fucking shithole of a country.

There are some days I wish this fucking human race would just extinguish completely, including myself among them. Oh well, tomorrow will surely be better...

yeah, right :/

I hope she's okay. Was she hurt?
coldvein
Banned
(03-21-2013, 01:15 AM)
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Originally Posted by Bagels

Just a quick thank you to all of my friends in here who have offered their support during what has turned out to be a very challenging time in my life. I'm charging ahead, and I don't think I'd be in anywhere near this good of shape if not for having this community for however long it has been. I encourage everyone to make use of the people offering to talk in chat, on skype, on steam, etc. There are amazing people in this community.

I'm forgetting who I was kicking the idea around with, but since so many people in this thread are writers, and I like to have big projects to keep me occupied, it seems like a good time to float the idea of some kind of depression-GAF anthology. People could write whatever they'd like - nonfiction (your own story of depression, an essay about dietary approaches to depression, an exploration of how music has helped you, gaming and depression - these are all things I've talked to someone about already), poetry, short stories, cartoons, whatever you'd like.

I write (well, used to write - I want to get back into it) a great deal of nonfiction just for fun. You can probably tell from the length of my posts that I really like to write essays. :)
I'd be interested in trying to come up with some longer-form stuff for a depression-GAF collection.

I'm happy to head things up - I'm confident I can find people to help edit, work on layout, all that good stuff. We can make a nice little digital collection or, if we get crazy ambitious, think about offering printed copies through blurb or something. We'll see how many people are interested in contributing. I figure that any excuse to write is a good thing in and of itself, so we can worry about how exactly to distribute it later, yeah? Just so we plan from the start to make it available to people.

Anyone would be welcome to contribute, under whatever name you'd like - lurkers, regulars, sub-human junior members, even! Post here, PM me, skype: gaf.bagels, or send me an email at bagelsbirthday@yahoo.com (it's not my birthday any more, but the email account lives on!). There are a ton of people here who can give you writing prompts, if that would help.

Let me know if you think it's an okay idea, and if you'd like to contribute! Or, if there are things you'd really like to read about, let people know, too!

i could possibly write something.
EdmondD
Member
(03-21-2013, 01:49 AM)
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Originally Posted by RionaaM

So yeah, my mom got robbed on her way home tonight. I've tried, but i's impossible not to be a cynical asshole in this fucking shithole of a country.

There are some days I wish this fucking human race would just extinguish completely, including myself among them. Oh well, tomorrow will surely be better...

yeah, right :/

Sorry to hear that. Hope your mom is alright.
Empty
Member
(03-21-2013, 01:52 AM)
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Originally Posted by Bagels


Let me know if you think it's an okay idea, and if you'd like to contribute! Or, if there are things you'd really like to read about, let people know, too!

i think it's a nice idea, bagels. i'd like to try and help out and contribute something but i can't even think of anything or know if i'll be happy enough with it so no promises. i'll give it some thought though :)
RionaaM
Member
(03-21-2013, 02:56 AM)
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Originally Posted by EdmondD

Sorry to hear that. Hope your mom is alright.

Originally Posted by MikeDip

I hope she's okay. Was she hurt?

No, luckily the son of a bitch didn't touch her. She still got scared and handed her the money he was asking, but no documents, credit card nor cell phone were lost.

Thanks a lot for asking :)


Now that I think about it, maybe I overreacted a little in my previous post :/

Though I still despise this country. And some human beings, but not all of them. I'm an asshole for making such a generalization.

Originally Posted by neojubei

i feel the same way.

It's really not a good mindset to have. I wish I could shake it off. There are lots of beautiful people, like all of you here. <3 you guys and girls


Also, I really like Bags' idea. I can't write shit, and English isn't my first language (as you have definitely noticed), so I won't be sending any material of my own. But I'm gladly waiting to see all the great artistic talent that my fellow depression GAFfers have.

Best of luck to you, Bags. And show those damn aliens who's boss (or whatever it is that you kill in PlanetSide 2).
Last edited by RionaaM; 03-21-2013 at 03:02 AM.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-21-2013, 02:57 AM)
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Originally Posted by RionaaM

No, luckily the son of a bitch didn't touch her. She still got scared and handed her the money he was asking, but no documents, credit card nor cell phone were lost.

Now that I think about it, maybe I overreacted a little in my previous post :/

I still despise this country. And some human beings, but not all of them.

What country?

And yeah, there's some bad people out there. All you can really do is try and focus on the tons of GOOD people out there, that just don't get reported on. Because really, who cares about some GOOD things people do, panic sells much better.

/sarcasm

It's hard to forget about all the good people do when all we hear about is the bad news. Sadly.
RionaaM
Member
(03-21-2013, 03:34 AM)
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Originally Posted by Smiley90

What country?

And yeah, there's some bad people out there. All you can really do is try and focus on the tons of GOOD people out there, that just don't get reported on. Because really, who cares about some GOOD things people do, panic sells much better.

/sarcasm

It's hard to forget about all the good people do when all we hear about is the bad news. Sadly.

Argentina. Every day something happens here that makes me more and more bitter and cynical.

You may be onto something there. I focus too much on negative stuff. I can't change, though. I've been trying it over the course of the last 2 or 3 months and it was all but fruitless. So I won't try anymore. I've now fully embraced the fact that things won't get better, I'll always hate my life, and that there's zero reason to get up every morning. I'm still going to do it just because, but it's not that I want to.

I'm such a happy and lovable person, you see :P
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-21-2013, 03:37 AM)
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Originally Posted by RionaaM

Argentina. Every day something happens here that makes me more and more bitter and cynical.

You may be onto something there. I focus too much on negative stuff. I can't change, though. I've been trying it over the course of the last 2 or 3 months and it was all but fruitless. So I won't try anymore. I've now fully embraced the fact that things won't get better, I'll always hate my life, and that there's zero reason to get up every morning. I'm still going to do it just because, but it's not that I want to.

I'm such a happy and lovable person, you see :P

I know, and "just focus on the GOOD stuff" isn't helping anyone here, I was more posting that as some sort of "fact", less as advice, because sadly as advice it's pretty useless. It sounds good, but it's too hard to follow.

I hope you have something good happen to you, all of you, I just ask that WHEN it happens, please try to embrace it. Because it will happen, but you won't be able to reap the benefits if you swat it away. Until then, I hope you all stay strong.
neojubei
Will drop pants for Sony.
(03-21-2013, 03:53 AM)
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There are no good stuff in life
Corky
Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
(03-21-2013, 09:10 AM)
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Originally Posted by EdmondD


I wish to also turn back the clock. I'm around the same age as you, I'm 27. When I was 20-21 I managed through great effort to actually escape depression for a time. I lost a lot of weight, had a decent job, was playing sports, making friends. Seemed like I was on the right track.
Then my grandma died of cancer and this was especially devastating to my mother who took care of her, along with my aunt, in her final days. I slipped back into depression. My work suffered. My friendships suffered. I got fired from my job. My girlfriend left me. I stop talking to my friends and ruined those relationships. One of the worst times in my life and years later I'm still trying to recover. Now, I'm as depressed as ever but I never lose hope. I try to remain optimistic. I beat depression once I know I can beat it again. You can too. I know you can. Everyone in this thread can.

Sorry to hear about your past, and I say this meaning no offence but if you had friends, a job and a significant other all at the same point then your life was infinitely better than my ever was or will be.
Siyou
Member
(03-21-2013, 09:24 AM)
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My brother was recently diagnosed with arthritis of the sternum. He has been without a job for nearly a year since he was medically discharged from the Army. I haven't met my brother in nearly 3 years. In my family he was pretty much the athlete of us sons. He was the strongest and most energetic.

I arrived on his doorstep needing a place to stay for a week. During this week, we have hung out in his livingroom and I often feel that he is depressed. He constantly lies to his gf about what he does during his day, to avoid being lectured, or so he fears. He constantly forgets everything his girlfriend tells him to do during the day, that needs to be done. Like cooking supper since she works a 10 hour day and finishes at 10pm. He and I don't talk a whole lot, but when we do, it's about the people he refuses to talk to; me, the rest of the family, and all of his friends or my friends from our hometown. He doesn't seem to want to work, he hangs his hopes on one job and ignores the rest or gives a half-assed effort, however during my stay, I haven't seen work toward this job, or heard of this job for that matter.

I am here for only 3 more days, I don't know what to say to him, or anything. I'm the youngest in my family and he's the 2nd youngest, but he sees himself the alpha male of our family. I'm worried he won't respect my critique, but I want to help him. What can I do GAF? Is there anything that can be done?
EdmondD
Member
(03-21-2013, 09:53 AM)
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Originally Posted by Corky

Sorry to hear about your past, and I say this meaning no offence but if you had friends, a job and a significant other all at the same point then your life was infinitely better than my ever was or will be.

No offence taken at all. You are right, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had such things once upon a time. I don't have those things anymore but that's the way it goes sometimes. I sincerely hope that one day you can escape this horrible disease. I know this sounds like bullshit but I would be your friend.
Collete
Member
(03-21-2013, 04:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by FilthyLies

I had a depressed ex-GF who used to do this. She'd fold cranes at work or school or whatever and then give them to me. I went back through and unfolded them after we broke up, and lots of them had sad little messages on them: "I don't want to do this any more," "I know you don't really love me," etc. Serious punch to the gut, but it did give me an idea for a short story which I wrote (which I'd be more than happy to put forward for your anthology bagels, if you end up doing it), and a novel I want to write eventually.

I do think creating is therapeutic for depression, if you can actually start something. It's the getting going that's the hard part, of course.

I'm so sorry...I hope you recovered from that relationship however.
Yeah I won't lie, the first step is the hardest but, I found that the lecture I linked really does help get the ideas flowing and beginning your story. Do look at it if you get a chance. I'll be interested in reading it if you ever put it towards the anthology...I don't know if I'll write anything since anything I write is a piece of crap...I know it's a complete contradiction to what I wrote earlier but hey, a lot of us are hypocrites...
"Do as I say, not as I do".
Out of Working Order
Member
(03-21-2013, 07:52 PM)
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Today I told my Dad I am depressed. I don't know if I did the right thing or not.

I was tired of keeping this bottled up.
Smiley90
Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
(03-21-2013, 08:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by Empowe

Today I told my Dad I am depressed. I don't know if I did the right thing or not.

I was tired of keeping this bottled up.

Good for you! Important step :) hope it went well.
Collete
Member
(03-21-2013, 08:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by Bagels

Just a quick thank you to all of my friends in here who have offered their support during what has turned out to be a very challenging time in my life. I'm charging ahead, and I don't think I'd be in anywhere near this good of shape if not for having this community for however long it has been. I encourage everyone to make use of the people offering to talk in chat, on skype, on steam, etc. There are amazing people in this community.

I'm forgetting who I was kicking the idea around with, but since so many people in this thread are writers, and I like to have big projects to keep me occupied, it seems like a good time to float the idea of some kind of depression-GAF anthology. People could write whatever they'd like - nonfiction (your own story of depression, an essay about dietary approaches to depression, an exploration of how music has helped you, gaming and depression - these are all things I've talked to someone about already), poetry, short stories, cartoons, whatever you'd like.

I write (well, used to write - I want to get back into it) a great deal of nonfiction just for fun. You can probably tell from the length of my posts that I really like to write essays. :)
I'd be interested in trying to come up with some longer-form stuff for a depression-GAF collection.

I'm happy to head things up - I'm confident I can find people to help edit, work on layout, all that good stuff. We can make a nice little digital collection or, if we get crazy ambitious, think about offering printed copies through blurb or something. We'll see how many people are interested in contributing. I figure that any excuse to write is a good thing in and of itself, so we can worry about how exactly to distribute it later, yeah? Just so we plan from the start to make it available to people.

Anyone would be welcome to contribute, under whatever name you'd like - lurkers, regulars, sub-human junior members, even! Post here, PM me, skype: gaf.bagels, or send me an email at bagelsbirthday@yahoo.com (it's not my birthday any more, but the email account lives on!). There are a ton of people here who can give you writing prompts, if that would help.

Let me know if you think it's an okay idea, and if you'd like to contribute! Or, if there are things you'd really like to read about, let people know, too!

I wrote something in the middle of my madness. I'll submit it later. It's a load of crap though...
Though everything is hopeless...Every one of my dream is futile....any attempt.....I'm too alone.....
Last edited by Collete; 03-21-2013 at 08:50 PM.
Wilsongt
Member
(03-21-2013, 10:12 PM)
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*head. desk. head. desk. headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk*
Collete
Member
(03-21-2013, 10:25 PM)
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Originally Posted by Wilsongt

*head. desk. head. desk. headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk*

Oy, what's wrong??
Wilsongt
Member
(03-21-2013, 11:00 PM)
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I'm just an idiot who doesn"t deserve to be in grad school...
daripad
Member
(03-21-2013, 11:07 PM)
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Originally Posted by Wilsongt

I'm just an idiot who doesn"t deserve to be in grad school...

What? Why? If you are there it means that you deserve it.
Wilsongt
Member
(03-21-2013, 11:11 PM)
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Not really. I was rejected when I first applied to grad school... The only reason I got in was some roundabout backdoor way.
Collete
Member
(03-22-2013, 01:19 AM)
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Originally Posted by Wilsongt

Not really. I was rejected when I first applied to grad school... The only reason I got in was some roundabout backdoor way.

But if you're in it now and doing the best you're able to do, you deserve it I think. I doubt you're planning to do anything evil in grad school. So many things done in history were done by breaking the rules and improving life for the greater good. There's no shame I think.

Originally Posted by Siyou

My brother was recently diagnosed with arthritis of the sternum. He has been without a job for nearly a year since he was medically discharged from the Army. I haven't met my brother in nearly 3 years. In my family he was pretty much the athlete of us sons. He was the strongest and most energetic.

I arrived on his doorstep needing a place to stay for a week. During this week, we have hung out in his livingroom and I often feel that he is depressed. He constantly lies to his gf about what he does during his day, to avoid being lectured, or so he fears. He constantly forgets everything his girlfriend tells him to do during the day, that needs to be done. Like cooking supper since she works a 10 hour day and finishes at 10pm. He and I don't talk a whole lot, but when we do, it's about the people he refuses to talk to; me, the rest of the family, and all of his friends or my friends from our hometown. He doesn't seem to want to work, he hangs his hopes on one job and ignores the rest or gives a half-assed effort, however during my stay, I haven't seen work toward this job, or heard of this job for that matter.

I am here for only 3 more days, I don't know what to say to him, or anything. I'm the youngest in my family and he's the 2nd youngest, but he sees himself the alpha male of our family. I'm worried he won't respect my critique, but I want to help him. What can I do GAF? Is there anything that can be done?

I don't know if I'll be any help, is there any way to ask what he's been up to lately to try and wade through what he really feels? The symptoms sound like something I experience in my life as well (since I have undiagnosed MDD or brain cancer...please be cancer...). I don't know how it will turn out since you said he refuses to talk to you and the family and his friends. Perhaps tell a close friend of his that he's really close to about what's happening and maybe him and his friend can talk about it. This is tricky if the person is not willing to cooperate at all. Part of the illness is you have to admit it yourself to allow any sort of help to be taken place. But do caution if he starts trying to abuse himself in any way, talking about taking a load of meds, slashing himself, etc; get the help he needs without a single thought and call 911.

I just want to end the madness....I just don't want to do this any longer...I'm too tired....
Last edited by Collete; 03-22-2013 at 01:51 AM.
daripad
Member
(03-22-2013, 02:12 AM)
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Originally Posted by Wilsongt

Not really. I was rejected when I first applied to grad school... The only reason I got in was some roundabout backdoor way.

Like Ookami said, you've been there for a time, an you can make your presence worth it. You are a valuable person there just by being there, I don't care if you are there because you got some help
MikeDip
God bless all my old friends/And god bless me too, why pretend?
(03-22-2013, 02:30 AM)
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Originally Posted by Wilsongt

Not really. I was rejected when I first applied to grad school... The only reason I got in was some roundabout backdoor way.

Eh, what does that matter, end result is you got in. Not only are you in grad school, but you're also committed and creative for finding this round about way. You'll get though it, and trust me, almost all my friends in grad school feel the same way; that they don't belong there. Doesn't make it true.

Sorry if I missed it, but what program or topic are you taking?

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