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[constantstatic]

Err what? What?

So you don't think not finding fat people atractive is due to how society defines beauty? We are basically conditioned to find fat unnactracive. Magazines even photo shop thin models to make them thinner. It's a very similar situation as people who say they don't find a specific race attractive. It's still comes down to being racist or in this case fat phobic.

 

[Fliesen]

Never done it myself either. It would not go well for me as an overweight, short guy. The short part alone would filter me out for a lot of women if studies done on the matter are of any indication.

which begs the question - would you consider it a duty of yours to at least post a picture that allows for implications of your height?
like, standing next to a standard sized car, standing next to a regular sized girl?

Would you disagree with people calling you "deceptive" or "a liar leading others on" for not explicitly stating you're only 5'4 ?

 

[Servbot24]

Yeah, I get that, but weight is a fluid state, the person is the person regardless of where their weight is at, at any given time, their personality is the same regardless of how big they are currently, I get that physical attraction is predominantly important, but I can't help that think discounting someone on them being overweight is ultimately shallow, maybe it's because I am an old git, and have been round the block more times than I care to remember that I realise that there is more, much more, to someone than how much they weight at a given time.

There is this stigma attached to being overweight, and this is one of the reasons why people can be dishonest about disclosing their appearance, because they think they will be automatically tossed to the side because the they don't fit the pigeon hole of what is deemed attractive.

Unfortunately what you describe is the reality, especially with online dating. Everyone is on a grocery list, and even though some of the people on the list are unattainable, they're still there, looming over the realistic options. It's impossible not to be hyper-aware of this when meeting someone. Even if you're in shape, that the person you're meeting probably has 5 other people on their mind that are in even better shape, have more likable personalities, etc. Doesn't matter if that person has any chance at those 5 people, because those 5 people have profiles on the same site as yours and are setting the standard.

 

[dity]

Fat defense force in full effect in here, still hard for people to grasp "no fat chicks".

Dude, that's not algebraic.

 

[freenudemacusers]

i'll let OP in on a secret, btw: People's weights can change.
So that hot chick you started dating might just gain some serious pounds, while your soulmate, currently 30 pounds too heavy for your liking (because she possibly went through some stressful years in her personal life or career) might eventually drop that extra weight.

Of course, your loss, not theirs.

This is why it is important to have a fat clause in a relationship.

 

[Flying Toaster]

I don't know where the OP lives but in my city there are services for single people to do all sorts of activities. Maybe try that. You don't have to do the online dating route just go do stupid shit like bowling, rock climbing and whatever else they have and hang out with other single people.

 

[Fliesen]

This is why it is important to have a fat clause in a relationship.

IT'S ALL MUSCLE! THE BMI IS A FLAWED UNIT OF MEASUREMENT! DON'T LEAVE ME!

 

[danowat]

This is why it is important to have a fat clause in a relationship.

A fatnup?

 

[daveo42]

Society has an effect on who you are attracted to though. Saying I don't find fat girls attractive is no different than saying I don't find black people attractive or any other race. It still makes you sound like a racist or in ops case a dick.

You can't actually be serious here. As someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, this comparison is absolutely insane. I can understand why someone of the opposite sex might not find me attractive because I'm overweight, because I find my own body to be unsightly and disgusting. If you're fine with being overweight, then that's on you. While hard, people can lose weight. I can agree that acceptable body types pushed by mainstream media is grossly inaccurate, but in most cases, being overweight is not healthy.

Also, you can change your weight through diet and exercise. Not sure if you're aware, but you can't really do that with race or ethnicity, so I don't know where you get off on making that comparison.

This is why it is important to have a fat clause in a relationship.

What if you're just cultivating mass?

 

[Greddleok]

I would love to see some of the photos of you guys who don't find fat girls attractive. I'm willing to bet none of you are perfect 10s either.

What a ridiculous comment. I'm certainly not a perfect 10, but I've never been turned down by someone I find attractive and have asked out.
I have extremely large, muscular legs from years of playing rugby. I struggle to find trousers that fit me, without the waist being far too loose. If someone doesn't find that attractive, that's up to them. I'm not going to hold it against them, and I don't hide it. Everyone has preferences.

My dating profile (before I closed it out of frustration) had a picture of me in my rugby kit, with shorts on. I'm sure a bunch of girls saw that and immediately discounted me, since if fashion trends are anything to go by, skinny legs are in vogue. The thing is, that's great! Neither of us spent time talking and meeting up with someone that would have gone no where.

Get off your high horse. If you're attracted to fat people, there's nothing wrong with you, you don't need to be so defensive and resort to essentially insulting people who don't share your preference.

 

[zeemumu]

Yeah...oh, I see that the thread has derailed because of OP's fat pose comment. I'll just let myself out...

 

[freenudemacusers]

What if you're just cultivating mass?

Well of course there are temporary stays such as pregnancy and short term bulking.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Well of course there are temporary stays such as pregnancy and short term bulking.

Nope. Fatnup dictates that if you want a child you find someone else to be the host.

 

[Fliesen]

You can't actually be serious here. As someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, this comparison is absolutely insane. I can understand why someone of the opposite sex might not find me attractive because I'm overweight, because I find my own body to be unsightly and disgusting. If you're fine with being overweight, then that's on you. While hard, people can lose weight. I can agree that acceptable body types pushed by mainstream media is grossly inaccurate, but in most cases, being overweight is not healthy.

Also, you can change your weight through diet and exercise. Not sure if you're aware, but you can't really do that with race or ethnicity, so I don't know where you get off on making that comparison.
?

I agree with non-attraction to "fat people" and non-attraction to a certain ethnicity not being compareable, the latter being far more questionable.

weight has big influences and indications toward and about lifestyle, obesity even more so.
You can always answer the question "i couldn't be with an overweight person because ... " with at least SOME argument, some more shallow, some more practical. - "i like to screw my partner, pushing / holding them against against the wall, and i'm not that strong, sorry!"

I don't think you could finish the sentence "i couldn't be with a black person / asian person / white person / hispanic person / ..." with any argument that isn't racist, really.

 

[constantstatic]

What a ridiculous comment. I'm certainly not a perfect 10, but I've never been turned down by someone I find attractive and have asked out.
I have extremely large, muscular legs from years of playing rugby. I struggle to find trousers that fit me, without the waist being far too loose. If someone doesn't find that attractive, that's up to them. I'm not going to hold it against them, and I don't hide it. Everyone has preferences.

My dating profile (before I closed it out of frustration) had a picture of me in my rugby kit, with shorts on. I'm sure a bunch of girls saw that and immediately discounted me, since if fashion trends are anything to go by, skinny legs are in vogue. The thing is, that's great! Neither of us spent time talking and meeting up with someone that would have gone no where.

Get off your high horse. If you're attracted to fat people, there's nothing wrong with you, you don't need to be so defensive and resort to essentially insulting people who don't share your preference.

Not being defensive I just find this thread kind of disgusting. I had no idea skinny legs are now in thank you. I'm just pointing out that stating I won't date fat girls is really immature and speaks of who you are as person.

So when you find this hypothetical dream girl and she pops out a baby or two and is then over weight do you just leave her cuz fat chicks man ew.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Nope. Fatnup dictates that if you want a child you find someone else to be the host.

Every fatnup is different! My wife and I have agreed that she can only gain 40 lbs, and must return to her regular size within 4-5 months. It's worked twice so far.

 

[Nosgotham]

not hating on fat people here but i personally want someone who takes care of their bodies and is active. Obesity is tied to so many co morbidities its ridiculous. beung overweight for most people is a choice and a reflection of lifestyle, which is fine for some just not for me when looking for someone who i want to be with forever. active, healthy with a focus on fitness is my cup of tea

 

[Jito]

Not being defensive I just find this thread kind of disgusting. I had no idea skinny legs are now in thank you. I'm just pointing out that stating I won't date fat girls is really immature and speaks of who you are as person.

So when you find this hypothetical dream girl and she pops out a baby or two and is then over weight do you just leave her cuz fat chicks man ew.

You're clearly being really defensive, seems like you're taking this all pretty personally. Something you'd like to share?

 

[Busty]

not hating on fat people here but i personally want someone who takes care of their bodies and is active. Obesity is tied to so many co morbidities its ridiculous. beung overweight for most people is a choice and a reflection of lifestyle, which is fine for some just not for me when looking for someone who i want to be with forever. active, healthy with a focus on fitness is my cup of tea

*sharp intake of breath*

Yes with a but.

No with an if.

 

[Fliesen]

instead of dogpiling constantstatic:

which begs the question - would you consider it a duty of yours to at least post a picture that allows for implications of your height?
like, standing next to a standard sized car, standing next to a regular sized girl?

Would you disagree with people calling you "deceptive" or "a liar leading others on" for not explicitly stating you're only 5'4 ?

what's you guys' opinion here?

can it be expected of a short guy to clearly show his lack of height, be it textually or in a photo where physical size can be derived from? Just as some are expecting an overweight girl to share her 'flaw'?

 

[danowat]

beung overweight for most people is a choice and a reflection of lifestyle

Yeah, not really quite that straight forward in a lot of cases.

 

[Dunkley]

Fat defense force in full effect in here, still hard for people to grasp "no fat chicks".

Honestly IMO I don't care if OP is attracted to fat chicks or not, but the way they're putting that makes them come across as really shallow, something not only fat people look down upon.

Since honestly, bro? I am well built myself so it's not like OP is insulting me, but mentioning that straight up says a lot about their personality and even if they just aren't attracted to fat chicks they don't need to let their shallow hang out for show like that, especially since even girls that are attractive to them most likely aren't looking for someone who only cares about appearances.

So to answer OP's question, yeah, people are actually single. Just nobody who fits your standards finds you attractive.

 

[Flying Toaster]

instead of dogpiling constantstatic:



what's you guys' opinion here?

can it be expected of a short guy to clearly show his lack of height, be it textually or in a photo where physical size can be derived from? Just as some are expecting an overweight girl to share her 'flaw'?

I believe if you take a picture and use it for online dating it has to be as close to representation of what you look like at the time. It is only fair for all parties involved.

 

[Koriandrr]

Really? I've known people that started dating from there (for obvious reasons). Did you have a bad experience there?

I think generally that's the 'code'.



My worst fear is people staring at me or God forbid, approach me, at the gym.
I go to the gym to work out and be in my own space, do my own thing. It's not a social environment and I don't see it as one. If someone approaches me to correct me, because I'm doing something wrong, that's okay, it is appropriate and that's as far as it goes. Anything beyond that and I will literally quit that gym and never go again. I know it's pretty dramatic, but I mean it. At the gym, I'm in my shitty clothes, no make up on, no hairstyle, pretty much at my worst possible state, not giving a shit how much I'm sweating and how filthy I look. Being conscious that someone's 'checking me out' at a place like that is like... super creepy. I just don't want people to look at me when I'm doing my thing. Maybe it's time I invest in gym equipment for home.... ._.

 

[btrboyev]

I'm single and I prefer it that way. I could be dating a girl right now that wants to but I just don't feel it.

I'm weird. I will crave a relationship but as soon as I get close, all I wanna do is be by myself.

 

[Arkos]

Do you know why fat chicks give better head?

Spoiler

because they have to

 

[constantstatic]

You're clearly being really defensive, seems like you're taking this all pretty personally. Something you'd like to share?

Nah I'm in a committed 8 year relationship and I'm a gay dude so If you are insinuating im one of those fat chicks I'm not.

 

[Jito]

instead of dogpiling constantstatic:



what's you guys' opinion here?

can it be expected of a short guy to clearly show his lack of height, be it textually or in a photo where physical size can be derived from? Just as some are expecting an overweight girl to share her 'flaw'?

Stating your height is a common thing for online dating profiles, just like stating your body type. But yes, it's generally a good idea to show as much about yourself in a profile to get across a picture of who you are, lying or covering up who you are is being deceitful and not a great way to start a relationship.

Nah I'm in a committed 8 year relationship and I'm a gay dude so If you are insinuating im one of those fat chicks I'm not.

You could always be a fat guy, stop being sexist, guys can be fat too.

 

[danowat]

So spin it this way.

8 years ago I was 24 stone, today I am 13 stone, I am the same person, with the same personality and the same flaws and positives.

I know which picture would get the most response on a dating site.

 

[Vhalyar]

So you don't think not finding fat people atractive is due to how society defines beauty? We are basically conditioned to find fat unnactracive. Magazines even photo shop thin models to make them thinner. It's a very similar situation as people who say they don't find a specific race attractive. It's still comes down to being racist or in this case fat phobic.

You honestly seem to have issues, judging by this and your other replies in the thread :/
e. To be more clear, you're insinuating that if someone of [color/race] does not find someone of [other color/race] appealing they're racist. Dayum.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Fat defense force in full effect in here, still hard for people to grasp "no fat chicks".



Prime example, not finding fat people attractive is equivalent to racism.

Also people, weight doesn't change drastically that quickly, if peoples weight changes from thin/average to fat in less time it takes to take new photos, they should head to a doctor.

C'mon man. That's harsh - the bolded bits

 

[constantstatic]

Honestly IMO I don't care if OP is attracted to fat chicks or not, but the way they're putting that makes them come across as really shallow, something not only fat people look down upon.

Since honestly bro? I am well built myself so it's not like OP is insulting me, but mentioning that straight up says a lot about their personality and even if they just aren't attracted to fat chicks they don't need to let their shallow hang out for show like that, especially since even girls that are attractive to them most likely aren't looking for someone who only cares about appearances.

So to answer OP's question, yeah, people are actually single. Just nobody who fits your standards finds you actually attractive.

This guy gets it you sir sound like a decent human being.

 

[Fliesen]

I believe if you take a picture and use it for online dating it has to be as close to representation of what you look like at the time. It is only fair for all parties involved.

Let's say i'm Tom cruise, i used this picture.
It shows me, full body.

Did i deceive anyone for not posting a picture where you can see that i'm actually a rather short dude?


Let's say i'm Allison Tolman

Did i deceive anyone for using a more flattering picture (above) and not the one below?

And no, Allison Tolman is of course not "fat" but i'm positive that there's people around (maybe even in this thread) who wouldn't be interested in her for the fact that she's not clasically skinny, to begin with.

 

[Sabercrusader]

Short answer: Yes
Long Answer: Yes, but it's not particularly easy to find people who are single and twenty-thirty something unless you're in college. It's still not necessarily easy then either. I say this as a 20 year old currently in college. It does seem strange that you can't seem to find anyone who you know is single.

 

[Greddleok]

Not being defensive I just find this thread kind of disgusting. I had no idea skinny legs are now in thank you. I'm just pointing out that stating I won't date fat girls is really immature and speaks of who you are as person.

So when you find this hypothetical dream girl and she pops out a baby or two and is then over weight do you just leave her cuz fat chicks man ew.

Preferences are disgusting. What a random thing for you to say. When you first date someone, attraction is paramount, otherwise what's the difference between a friend and a partner?

 

[Cizeta-Moroder]

I've had to resort to online dating, my god, it's awful. It took me 3 dates to figure out the "fat girl pose." Seriously people, post honest images, you're just wasting everyone's time if you don't.

I should have known from the title, but man this got creepy quick.

Fat-haters, pics pls. Let's see if there's a pose.

 

[Jito]

C'mon man. That's harsh - the bolded bits

I know, if anything the fat chicks are the ones that are easiest to grasp.

I should have known from the title, but man this got creepy quick.

Fat-haters, pics pls. Let's see if there's a pose.

Disliking a body type is "creepy". Ok...

 

[Servbot24]

Let's say i'm Allison Tolman


Did i deceive anyone for using a more flattering picture (above) and not the one below?


And no, Allison Tolman is of course not "fat" but i'm positive that there's people around (maybe even in this thread) who wouldn't be interested in her for the fact that she's not clasically skinny, to begin with.

I can easily see her weight in both of those. They're both perfectly fine.

 

[Cizeta-Moroder]

Disliking a body type is "creepy". Ok...

Persecution complex and conspiracy theories are creepy.

 

[Fliesen]

Preferences are disgusting. What a random thing for you to say. When you first date someone, attraction is paramount, otherwise what's the difference between a friend and a partner?

you think the difference between a friend and a partner is the sexual attraction? :/

I'm quite sure there's plenty of people in committed relationships who find many a friend attractive / sexually desireable.
The difference between a friend and a partner is a sense of connection / commitment / trust, that goes way beyond anything physical. (I M H O, of course, ymmv)

I'm not so sure my partner will be a hottie when she's 70 and we might stop having any kind of sex life. But i'm quite sure we're not going back to being "friends" then

I can easily see her weight in both of those. They're both perfectly fine.

what about Tom?
Is that man "lying" about his size?

 

[Greddleok]

Let's say i'm Tom cruise, i used this picture.
It shows me, full body.

Did i deceive anyone for not posting a picture where you can see that i'm actually a rather short dude?


Let's say i'm Allison Tolman


Did i deceive anyone for using a more flattering picture (above) and not the one below?


And no, Allison Tolman is of course not "fat" but i'm positive that there's people around (maybe even in this thread) who wouldn't be interested in her for the fact that she's not clasically skinny, to begin with.

It depends, did Tom Cruise put his actual height on his dating profile? If not, then yes, he's deceiving people, if he did, then no, it's fine.

The pictures of the woman are basically the same. They show her without hiding. There's a difference between a flattering picture, and a picture that actively misdirects or hides an aspect of your body.

I'm not so sure my partner will be a hottie when she's 70 and we might stop having any kind of sex life. But i'm quite sure we're not going back to being "friends" then

Oh come on, if you've been with someone for long enough, then priorities change. This is about the first time you meet someone, not after you've developed a bond.

 

[Jito]

Persecution complex and conspiracy theories are creepy.

Yeh you're really reaching with that, quote some examples of where OP acts like everyone is out to get him or mentions a conspiracy.

The fat defense force still pulling shit out their arse.

 

[Talents]

I do think it's pretty scummy for girls/(guys?) to do the fat pose thing and I don't see how lots of people are saying it's ok to do. I also don't see why people are getting annoyed that people are ragging on the fatter people, it's like unless you've got a fat fetish, of course you're going to want a skinnier/toned woman. After all fat isn't exactly pleasant to look at.

 

[Fliesen]

Oh come on, if you've been with someone for long enough, then priorities change. This is about the first time you meet someone, not after you've developed a bond.

You were the one claiming the only differentiating aspect between a friend and a partner would be the sexual attraction.

I'm claiming that it isn't, at any time. Also that old people sex seems kinda gross and tiresome!

 

[Greddleok]

You were the one claiming the only differentiating aspect between a friend and a partner would be the sexual attraction.

I'm claiming that it isn't, at any time. Also that old people sex seems kinda gross and tiresome!

I should have prefaced that with at the start. When I first meet someone, there are two criteria, they're attractive, and I enjoy spending time with them. That's not much more than a friend who I want to bang. Obviously, things change the longer you've been with them. Bonds become deeper and more intimate where you can look past the physical aspects.

At the start though? If I'm not attracted I don't care.

 

[CitrusStorm]

A while back, my body had much more fat on it. Was single then. The fat's kinda gone now but the singularity remains.

But for meeting and chilling with other people? Personality's more important to me.

 

[Nosgotham]

Yeah, not really quite that straight forward in a lot of cases.

can you explain further? i understand there are metabolic disorders such as thyroid issues but thars certainly not the majority. Inactivity and poor diet are the leading causes of obesity...and heart disease...and diabetes.

 

[Servbot24]

what about Tom?
Is that man "lying" about his size?

No, his size is apparent given the proportions of his head to his body.

 

[Fliesen]

I should have prefaced that with at the start. When I first meet someone, there are two criteria, they're attractive, and I enjoy spending time with them. That's not much more than a friend who I want to bang. Obviously, things change the longer you've been with them. Bonds become deeper and more intimate where you can look past the physical aspects.

At the start though? If I'm not attracted I don't care.

Just reminding you, that it's, in general, also possible to develop sexual desire for someone when there was none, initially.

But we're back to square one, where your "superficialness" (and i'm saying this in a ... barely ... judgemental way) only hurts you yourself, by cutting down on valuable romantic options.

No, his size is apparent given the proportions of his head to his body.

i was about to write "is it, really?"

and then i looked at the pic ...

it totally is

 

[Greddleok]

can you explain further? i understand there are metabolic disorders such as thyroid issues but thars certainly not the majority. Inactivity and poor diet are the leading causes of obesity...and heart disease...and diabetes.

BMI is almost entirely genetic. Well, relative BMI is.

Just reminding you, that it's, in general, also possible to develop sexual desire for someone when there was none, initially.

But we're back to square one, where your "superficialness" (and i'm saying this in a ... barely ... judgemental way) only hurts you yourself, by cutting down on valuable romantic options.

I have never experienced developing sexual attraction to someone, when it wasn't already there. I have no problem with you calling me superficial, just as long as you understand that I can't really help the superficialness. I like what I like, it's pretty much instinctual.