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Are single women over 30 screwed in dating?

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SeanR1221

Member
I believe in general it's 35 or older that gets classified as high-risk if someone gets pregnant.

Yes with things getting significantly worse as you approach 40.

According to my wife, most of her patients at the hospital are having their first around 29-32
 

gaming_noob

Member
When is it that woman start having difficulties in having children?, the average age i mean...

Eggs aren't as healthy after 35 and the chance of having a child with Downs Syndrome jumps significantly after 40. There are a lot of tests that screen for many conditions after conceived but they're about 80% accurate. So you may get a good reading abd still have 20% chance that thw reading is wrong. There's amniocentesis tests that give you higher than 90% accuracy but it is an intrusive method that may harm the fetus.
 

entremet

Member
I'm 30+, male and never dated before. Am I screwed and should just stop looking for someone?
It sounds like you are probably socially isolated in some way.

If you hang around groups and just talk to people, stuff happens and I say this as very plain looking dude, but I do meetups, rec leagues, classes, etc. Eventually you connect and some flirt with you if you're not totally clueless.

But if you have mostly non social hobbies you may be invisible to eligible women.

This is the biggest hindrance with dudes. You gotta go where the women are.
 

ericexpo

Member
I've found that dating women over 30 (I'm 31) is ussally one date and that's it so I've really given up on it.
They become so picky that any tiny thing they won't even try and let a relationship develop. They end up going back to the pool looking for that perfect guy
 
Slightly bit off topic, and even though I still maintain there are leagues, i spontaneously met up with a woman for a movie last night, and we had just met yesterday.

I was hesitant going to the movies on a first meetup. But nobody was there except for two girls behind us, and we had a blast. This girl is gorgeous. Was almost a Winghouse model (worked there while in college). Showed me a few bikini pics, and COT DAM. Super cool personality. She thinks I'm sexy, kept looking at my butt, and when we were holding each other out in the parking lot, she kept looking down my shirt. And we kissed a few times, which was nice.

We're meeting up for drinks tomorrow after I get off work. I guess a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.
 
I don't feel this way at all, nor do I respect my fellow males for whom this is true.

My last gf was quite a few years younger than me, too. I ended it with her because she was still kind of a child.

I also have a coworker who's in his forties and married a truly gorgeous woman in her twenties. He's miserable and his advice to me is: don't do it. He tells me this literally every day. (It'd be funny if it weren't sad).

If you discriminate sexually based on age, you're probably cutting yourself off from some really great women.

Why are you throwing shade at everyone in this topic?
 
Slightly bit off topic, and even though I still maintain there are leagues, i spontaneously met up with a woman for a movie last night, and we had just met yesterday.

I was hesitant going to the movies on a first meetup. But nobody was there except for two girls behind us, and we had a blast. This girl is gorgeous. Was almost a Winghouse model (worked there while in college). Showed me a few bikini pics, and COT DAM. Super cool personality. She thinks I'm sexy, kept looking at my butt, and when we were holding each other out in the parking lot, she kept looking down my shirt. And we kissed a few times, which was nice.

We're meeting up for drinks tomorrow after I get off work. I guess a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.

You maintain there are leagues when personal experience shows you there really aren't.

Blind indeed...
 

Mr Swine

Banned
Why haven't you dated before?

Are you putting your best self out there? Dating sites? Apps? Going to bars? Meet ups?

Been bullied a lot, bad shelf esteem, Asperger and been grossly overweight. Been using dating sites a bit years ago but started doing it regularly for the last 2 years when I started loosing weight. Also living in a small sh!th0l# in sweden makes it impossible for a meet up (there isn't any) and I really don't like to go to bars since the only thing you do is get drunk.


It's never too late, a lot more people than you'd think are late bloomers
¯_(ツ)_/¯

I really hope so :/

We're you just not interested in dating at all?

I am, just look at the first post I replied to.

It sounds like you are probably socially isolated in some way.

If you hang around groups and just talk to people, stuff happens and I say this as very plain looking dude, but I do meetups, rec leagues, classes, etc. Eventually you connect and some flirt with you if you're not totally clueless.

But if you have mostly non social hobbies you may be invisible to eligible women.

This is the biggest hindrance with dudes. You gotta go where the women are.

i have been more or less after my father passed away 15 years ago, it's a bit better now that I've lost weight (from 120-130 kg to 66-67kg in a 10 year span).… problem is that living in Sweden every girl/woman has high expectations that you are

1. Good looking
2. Not fat
3. Have a good economy
4. Lots of friends
5. Go out and get drunk every Wednesday and weekends.

I'm not fat anymore and while I'm much better looking now than 10 years ago I really don't have that good economy, lots of friends anymore,or go out to get drunk Every weekend
 

Ceallach

Smells like fresh rosebuds
I've found that dating women over 30 (I'm 31) is ussally one date and that's it so I've really given up on it.
They become so picky that any tiny thing they won't even try and let a relationship develop. They end up going back to the pool looking for that perfect guy

It's not about being picky, it's about being comfortable enough to recognize what we do and don't want. We're past the point where we believe someone will change or we will get used to things that we might not like. So whereas when I was 21, I would totally think a guy would change his ways and had so much potential and do so much some day, now that I'm 31, I don't care. What I see is what I get, so I make the decision quickly it isn't something I want. I don't want to play games anymore.
 
Ijgzwsk.png
 
It's not about being picky, it's about being comfortable enough to recognize what we do and don't want. We're past the point where we believe someone will change or we will get used to things that we might not like. So whereas when I was 21, I would totally think a guy would change his ways and had so much potential and do so much some day, now that I'm 31, I don't care. What I see is what I get, so I make the decision quickly it isn't something I want. I don't want to play games anymore.

So even if someone isn't at their best, it's to the trash heap? Not even worth a second date to see if the first was just bad timing or them having a bad day or whatever?

I'm also curious, what do you mean by not playing games anymore?
 

depths20XX

Member
I'm 30. My experience with dating women over 30 is that they know what they want and don't want. I like that they're up front and honest. Unfortunately I haven't really found one I want to keep dating, as I'm quite picky myself. Personally I think I'm a bit immature so the ones I've dated have been one night of fun then we wish each other well.
 
There are plenty of really hot 30 year old women around, but they either have settled down or want to settle down which puts me off ever starting anything serious with them. I'm pretty immature for a 23 year old to be brutally honest with myself so I doubt we're going to be compatible.
 

PaulBizkit

Member
It has been talked about a lot recently that the number of university educated women is outstripping university educated men. And as you get older, these men are snapped up. So if you are a 30 something woman and insist on dating an 'educated' man then I would expect it to be a struggle.

I hope I am not coming off as a jerk but I did see a subtext of this article where educated was just a euphemism for financially well off. It's not just about looks at least.

You know, i find it very plausible. I think it could also happen the other way around. I'm 27 and I'm starting to think that all the best* girls (i.e. nice, kind, smart, well mannered) get taken by the time they are 25.
I fear that, most girls that are over 27 or 28 are hysteric bipolar bitches that complain about everything.

Sorry for the exaggeration, btw, i don't know how else can i say it.

*this is what i consider good girls.
 
You know, i find it very plausible. I think it could also happen the other way around. I'm 27 and I'm starting to think that all the best* girls (i.e. nice, kind, smart, well mannered) get taken by the time they are 25.
I fear that, most girls that are over 27 or 28 are hysteric bipolar bitches that complain about everything.

Sorry for the exaggeration, btw, i don't know how else can i say it.

*this is what i consider good girls.

Sign of the times that a university education is needed for anything. I wonder if men who are electricians,etc. struggle with dating more than men who went to university.
 
You maintain there are leagues when personal experience shows you there really aren't.

Blind indeed...

Eh, we'll see. First meetup was great. Things can change quickly, like another better looking guy messaging her, and then she ghosts me. I've thought about quitting online dating due that very fact.
 

E92 M3

Member
You know, i find it very plausible. I think it could also happen the other way around. I'm 27 and I'm starting to think that all the best* girls (i.e. nice, kind, smart, well mannered) get taken by the time they are 25.
I fear that, most girls that are over 27 or 28 are hysteric bipolar bitches that complain about everything.

Sorry for the exaggeration, btw, i don't know how else can i say it.

*this is what i consider good girls.

Nah man, plenty of fine women out there. Don't get jaded.
 

Ceallach

Smells like fresh rosebuds
So even if someone isn't at their best, it's to the trash heap? Not even worth a second date to see if the first was just bad timing or them having a bad day or whatever?

I'm also curious, what do you mean by not playing games anymore?

It's not totally cut and dry but if there is nothing there, there is nothing there. Like maybe they are having a bad day or maybe they are an asshole who is trying to make an excuse for being an asshole. I'm not gonna bother trying to figure that out anymore.

And by games I mean, you are going to get me as me, I'm not going to try and put on some facade to seem more delicate or less abrasive or anything else. I'm not going to pretend to engage someone just because I dont want to seem bitchy nor am I going to tolerate a guy putting on an act or trying to play games like waiting to text or call after x amount of time or any other bullshit.
 

MoxManiac

Member
FYI, while the chances of pregnancy problems increase at age 40, it's still statistically unlikely. In other words, the chances of issues don't go up that much.
 
Sign of the times that a university education is needed for anything. I wonder if men who are electricians,etc. struggle with dating more than men who went to university.
I'd say income is way more important. An electrician making six figures is more attractive than a PHD barely scraping by.
 

Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
It's not about being picky, it's about being comfortable enough to recognize what we do and don't want. We're past the point where we believe someone will change or we will get used to things that we might not like. So whereas when I was 21, I would totally think a guy would change his ways and had so much potential and do so much some day, now that I'm 31, I don't care. What I see is what I get, so I make the decision quickly it isn't something I want. I don't want to play games anymore.
I think everyone changes, constantly. I think the idea that people don't change is more trouble than it's worth.

Edit: but I'd add that there are some things that are not worth waiting for change. If someone is a little immature, they'll probably mature in time, and if they're otherwise great - I think moving on is premature. If they're immature and also otherwise have no redeeming qualities, or if they're crazy immature and impossible to deal with... Yeah.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I think sometimes people get too caught up on finding the perfect person, or even just someone who isn't particularly flawed, but I think it's important to remember that people grow and change, especially in long term relationships, and often a lot of those flaws go away
 

rokkerkory

Member
I think so, they are competing against younger women with likely less baggage.

I guess it's often true that single girls over 30 carry some weird baggage or something is up. Otherwise if they were wifey material, they'd already be snatched up.
 

Llyranor

Member
I guess it's often true that single girls over 30 carry some weird baggage or something is up. Otherwise if they were wifey material, they'd already be snatched up.
You could apply that generalization to men as well, if that were the case.
Eh, we'll see. First meetup was great. Things can change quickly, like another better looking guy messaging her, and then she ghosts me. I've thought about quitting online dating due that very fact.
Maybe it has nothing to do with the other guy being 'better looking'.
 
Wouldn't it then follow that women want men at their physical peak because evolution?

Women traditionally marry/mate men who can provide the best opportunity for their offspring to flourish. In the physical sense this means tall and broad shoulders. The athletic peak, depending on activity, can range from 18-35. In the societal sense this includes financial and social status. How much the latter is influenced by learned gender roles is anyone's guess, but being tall and strong-looking has never been a downside.
 
Women traditionally marry/mate men who can provide the best opportunity for their offspring to flourish. In the physical sense this means tall and broad shoulders. The athletic peak, depending on activity, can range from 18-35. In the societal sense this includes financial and social status. How much the latter is influenced by learned gender roles is anyone's guess, but being tall and strong-looking has never been a downside.

The other poster's reasoning was strictly pointing to evolution though, which is genetic data.
 

Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
Wouldn't it then follow that women want men at their physical peak because evolution?
There's some interesting stuff I've read about this interesting dichotomy in women looking for sexual partners vs fathers, not always an overlap. It's been a while since I've read this stuff, and I was a lot less strict on sourcing my info back then, but from what I remember, sometimes women find a great father figure and husband, but think they're less than ideal to father her children, so they get younger more "fit" males to do that.

I actually think this was on some sexual documentary I saw on TV like 15 years ago, so chance for it being bullshit is even higher.
 
It's not totally cut and dry but if there is nothing there, there is nothing there. Like maybe they are having a bad day or maybe they are an asshole who is trying to make an excuse for being an asshole. I'm not gonna bother trying to figure that out anymore.

And by games I mean, you are going to get me as me, I'm not going to try and put on some facade to seem more delicate or less abrasive or anything else. I'm not going to pretend to engage someone just because I dont want to seem bitchy nor am I going to tolerate a guy putting on an act or trying to play games like waiting to text or call after x amount of time or any other bullshit.

Seems pretty restrictive in just not trying to figure out if the person is worth getting to know. It's not my place to judge though, but as uninterested as I generally tend to be in other people, I still tend to give new people a couple of chances to show me who they really are.

Interesting about the playing games. So how do you know if they are playing games with the texting/calling thing? Is there a cut off point where you think they didn't call me back within a couple of hours, they are playing games?
 
I'm 32 male that lives in NYC. Have zero interest in dating. I should mention that I am super picky and if I am going to consider dating anyone than she has to live a similar lifestyle as I do, which is gym, meal prepping etc. I do like to have fun once in a while like going to a club. Not big on going to bars or out to eat every weekend anymore. Over that shit. Lifting makes me happy, not relationships. #foreveralone
 

Ceallach

Smells like fresh rosebuds
Seems pretty restrictive in just not trying to figure out if the person is worth getting to know. It's not my place to judge though, but as uninterested as I generally tend to be in other people, I still tend to give new people a couple of chances to show me who they really are.

Interesting about the playing games. So how do you know if they are playing games with the texting/calling thing? Is there a cut off point where you think they didn't call me back within a couple of hours, they are playing games?

No hard/fast rules, just if I feel he is tryng to play at something. But I have a busy lifestyle. It's me, my kid, work, hobbies and I am not going to compromise my life for anyone I didn't give birth to. You fit in or you don't.
 
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