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[bluethree]

I'm 32 and most of the matches I get online are closer to my age. I strike out so hard with younger women, no idea why. Havent tried IRL much these days, maybe it'd be different there

 

[KonradLaw]

A few of my friends that are nearing 30 (not yet 30) are very picky... but whatever. That's their right. I suspect that it will get harder for them to maintain the same quantity in terms of male suitors, but I honestly don't know if I think the quality will get worse. Shouldn't it be true that there also exists men over 30 that are also very picky and holding out?

Sure, but if they are in the "quite a catch category" they're highly unlikely to consider settling down with woman of their own age. If they aim at something serious they will look for it among women in their 20s.

 

[Oxn]

Does this mean you feel that once a woman is no longer in her 20s, she's no longer quite a catch?

Less of a catch.

You see, if a guy is in his 30s and have not settled because he is picky, chances are he isnt waiting for misses right in her 30s..... Chancessssss.......

 

[TaterTots]

I'm kinda surprised guys in their 30's prefer young women. Super odd to me.

 

[TaterTots]

Less of a catch.

You see, if a guy is in his 30s and have not settled because he is picky, chances are he isnt waiting for misses right in her 30s..... Chancessssss.......

I guess we're all robots. The perfect match for someone isn't always picked by age.

 

[norm9]

I guess we're all robots. The perfect match for someone isn't always picked by age.

It sort of is if you plan on having kids one day, in which case, mid 20s to early 30s is the ideal. Mid 30s is pushing it.

 

[Peltz]

Sure, but if they are in the "quite a catch category" they're highly unlikely to consider settling down with woman of their own age. If they aim at something serious they will look for it among women in their 20s.

I don't feel this way at all, nor do I respect my fellow males for whom this is true.

My last gf was quite a few years younger than me, too. I ended it with her because she was still kind of a child.

I also have a coworker who's in his forties and married a truly gorgeous woman in her twenties. He's miserable and his advice to me is: don't do it. He tells me this literally every day. (It'd be funny if it weren't sad).

If you discriminate sexually based on age, you're probably cutting yourself off from some really great women.

 

[Oxn]

I don't feel this way at all, nor do I respect my fellow males for whom this is true.

Good thing they dont care about your respect

 

[God of Gamblers]

Because pussy is tighter on younger women.

I'm kinda surprised guys in their 30's prefer young women. Super odd to me.

 

[totoro'd]

I'm kinda surprised guys in their 30's prefer young women. Super odd to me.

because they're emotionally immature and feel like they'll be able to control a younger female; an older one would call them out on their shit. Plus the way society portrays that a woman's youth is one of her attributes

 

[Bony Manifesto]

I don't feel this way at all, nor do I respect my fellow males for whom this is true.

My last gf was quite a few years younger than me, too. I ended it with her because she was still kind of a child.

I also have a coworker who's in his forties and married a truly gorgeous woman in her twenties. He's miserable and his advice to me is: don't do it. He tells me this literally every day. (It'd be funny if it weren't sad).

If you discriminate sexually based on age, you're probably cutting yourself off from some really great women.

So don't discriminate on age... But stay the hell away from younger women.

 

[Oxn]

because they're emotionally immature and feel like they'll be able to control a younger female; an older one would call them out on their shit. Plus the way society portrays that a woman's youth is one of her attributes

Lololololol

 

[Funky Papa]

because they're emotionally immature and feel like they'll be able to control a younger female; an older one would call them out on their shit.

Please tell me more about me.

 

[Oxn]

Please tell me more about me.

YOU ARRREEE IMMMATUUUUREEEEE111111

 

[Peltz]

So don't discriminate on age... But stay the hell away from younger women.

Not at all.

Date younger women, date older woman, and choose the right woman based on who she is rather than when she was born. A young woman can be more mature than an older one.

But saying that you'd only date younger women is a bit superficial. That's all I'm saying.

 

[pixelation]

Was surprised to see the thing about older men having kids having a correlation with autism

That's news to me.

 

[Archer]

I've been thinking about this since the thread about the where a single 31 yo hung herself (not only because she was single, but clearly had other mental health issues) and as such I decided to look around my own social circle and I noticed that almost everyone (myself included) is dating someone a few years younger.

I talked about this with a friend last night, let's call him Simon, he's 32 and was dating someone his age last year, they had a good relationship or so it appeared but she broke up with him when someone else came along and he was left heartbroken (it didn't work out with those two, she tried to get back with him recently, but...more on this later**) so after months of being a miserable ass (seriously, months. Some people...), he decided to get back out there and noticed the interest he was getting from dating sites was from younger women. He got a few messages and dates with women his age, but he found they simply didn't have realistic expectations of a relationship or they were so desperate to move things along that he felt pressured into committing after just a couple of dates.

Then he met his current girlfriend, a 27 yo lawyer and he hasn't been happier. She is pretty amazing from what I've seen and I haven't seen two people so madly in love before. I asked him why did he decide to date someone five years younger and his answer was simple, she wasn't pressuring him to do anything or make commitments he wasn't ready for.

(** You're wondering about this, well his ex recently got in touch in and started to try and worm her way back in his life. When she found out he was dating someone new and younger to boot, she went into a tirade about how he was robbing the cradle and that of course he'd go younger because anyone is age wouldn't want him anyway. Much laughs were had listening to this voice message...)

Anyway, are single women over 30 screwed in some senses? Especially if they want children?

 

[Mr Cola]

because they're emotionally immature and feel like they'll be able to control a younger female; an older one would call them out on their shit. Plus the way society portrays that a woman's youth is one of her attributes

If you genuinely believe this you are bringing in baggage to a situation and not careful thought, for a very very small number of people, not small enough to generalise, maybe, but this is not the reason you should be advocating.

 

[Helensmith]

Less of a catch.

You see, if a guy is in his 30s and have not settled because he is picky, chances are he isnt waiting for misses right in her 30s..... Chancessssss.......

I agree with Oxn. A guy can stay pickier than a woman as he gets older, whereas a woman might have to lower her expectations.

 

[TaterTots]

because they're emotionally immature and feel like they'll be able to control a younger female; an older one would call them out on their shit. Plus the way society portrays that a woman's youth is one of her attributes

The younger you are, the more immature you are, so I can see what you're saying. It's easier to push your ideology on someone younger than a person your age or older. Or maybe these 30+ year old men actually click with young women, which is what is confusing to me.

To be clear, I'm not trying to offend anyone. I simply do not understand. Most of the relationships I was in involved a younger woman except the one I'm in now. Anyway, it never worked out and maturity was definitely a problem. I was in a relationship that went great for nearly a year and one day I asked what was up with a shirt she was wearing and hell proceeded. Instead of talking it through she abandoned ship because she understood her age and her options.

 

[Bleepey]

this is a complete aside to the discussion about whether women age 30+ have it rough in dating, but i have to laugh at this author's "learning" experience on bumble.

plenty of women these days identify as progressive/feminist -- yet so many women seem entrenched in the antiquated notion that men should always be the pursuing party. there is no good reason that women should not be able to ask men out, especially so since we have, ostensibly, moved on from an era when women were chattel.

and yes, i know that more women these days are asking men out than before, but those remain a tiny minority. i know why: rejection is hard, and it's much easier to be passive and wait for the men to come to you than to seek them out.

Very true.It's one of those things as a guy, unless you are very handsome, very rich or very lucky if you wanna get anywhere with women you need to learn to be assertive and learn to deal with rejection. Most guys couldn't give you an idea as to the number of women they've hit on but I think most girls if they hit on a guy and he says no that guy will be remembered on her deathbed.

 

[Malvolio]

Life is about compromise. If your "screwed" in the world of dating, you probably need to readjust your positions on what's most important to you. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

 

[MikeyB]

That's news to me.

Paternal age is linked to a few things, like miscarriage, autism, and schizophrenia.

 

[KonradLaw]

Does this mean you feel that once a woman is no longer in her 20s, she's no longer quite a catch?

We're still talking about picky guys, right? It's not any different from picky women, they're just picky about different things.

Generally a woman can still be quite a catch in her 30s, That age is a downside, but she might be able to overcome it with other qualities. Same as men without education/wealth might make up in other areas for picky woman.
Ultimatelly few people are perfect and most folks, if they want to start family, will have to compromise on something. If a woman has very high standards and wants a man who's tall, handsome, educated and in good financial situation, then she;s often going to have to compromise on age and look such such specimen among men singificantly older then herself.

 

[Bleepey]

My wife lost one of her good friends from childhood she is married and her friend isn't(can't even get a date) and now she's in her late 30s.

The jealousy, snide comments have been building over the years until it finally blew up.

There's more to the story here about how her friend isn't "willing to settle" and is going for men way out of her league(even if they're married) of course.

Do you mind sharing more of what happened?

 

[Morrigan Stark]

- Once you've fucked someone raised on porn, it's hard to go back a generation.

Wat

I hear that.

I gave up by the time I was 17 lol. Now it's just about trying to find a guy friend, but men don't want to be friends, so...that's out the window too basically.

Bottom line, I will never have any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with a man IRL. 29 this year, never have, never will.

That's just... sad. It's obviously none of my business but I'm still curious as to why you've given up. May I ask why?

Guess it depends how much older than 30 really. I find some people can be way too picky when it comes to dating though, and then wonder why they can't find anyone.

Same for women who go for "bad boys" who treat them like crap, but then they wonder why they get treated badly and keep getting hurt and are also too picky to go out with a nice guy.

One my GF's friends is always going out with idiots but then keeps moaning she gets cheated on or treated bad, yet we know a really decent guy who likes her (not ugly or anything either) and would be a pretty good match for her, yet she's not interested, and she carries on moaning about finding someone who would treat her right, guess there is no helping some people when it comes to dating.

Let me guess, that's a "friend of yours" right, m'sir?

Because pussy is tighter on younger women.

....

 

[jerry113]

Haha.

I read somewhere that often times women aren't necessarily looking for successful men, but rather men who have the potential for success.

For example Ang Lee was unemployed for 6 years after college, and was a stay at home dad while his wife worked as a molecular biologist.

Then he directed his first feature at 37, and eventually won a bunch of academy awards.

I guess that motherfucker was dripping with dat sexy potential.

holy shit, ang lee living the dream

 

[kayos90]

I dont' know why but I feel like this article told me that I should give it 5 more years before I really give up trying to look for a significant other. lol...

 

[Bleepey]

I don't feel this way at all, nor do I respect my fellow males for whom this is true.

My last gf was quite a few years younger than me, too. I ended it with her because she was still kind of a child.

I also have a coworker who's in his forties and married a truly gorgeous woman in her twenties. He's miserable and his advice to me is: don't do it. He tells me this literally every day. (It'd be funny if it weren't sad).

If you discriminate sexually based on age, you're probably cutting yourself off from some really great women.

What's his problem?

 

[Stallion Dan]

Only if they're shallow

 

[Skellig Gra]

Most childless women I've dated post +30 all also have this "I've been consuming birth control waiting for Mr.Right for the last 15 years so my uterus/reproductive system is most likely destroyed" theory.

Not sure of its true but like I said I've heard it quite frequently.

It's not true. My wife got pregnant 1 month after going off 17 straight years of birth control and we have a healthy baby now. She is 33.

 

[Stallion Dan]

It's not true. My wife got pregnant 1 month after going off 17 straight years of birth control and we have a healthy baby now. She is 33.

Doesn't do damage but a lot of women take a good while after coming off birth control before get pregnant. Extreme cases take years.

 

[Wanace]

I'd love to meet a single 30+ woman without kids who doesn't want to have them.

I won't date a single mom who is 30+ because I don't want to come into some kid's life. I don't like kids and don't want to have any.

Unfortunately most 30+ women I've met are in a hurry to get married/have kids because of that biological clock thing.

I'm 36.

 

[E92 M3]

What can be gathered from this thread is that the biological clock needs a huge nerf.

Way too OP

 

[vern]

I hear that.

I gave up by the time I was 17 lol. Now it's just about trying to find a guy friend, but men don't want to be friends, so...that's out the window too basically.

Bottom line, I will never have any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with a man IRL. 29 this year, never have, never will.

Damn leeness thought we were friends

 

[family_guy]

Does this mean you feel that once a woman is no longer in her 20s, she's no longer quite a catch?

From the late comedian Patrice O'neal:

The value of vagina is only good from 18 to 29.

P*ssy ages like bread, not like wine.

 

[FairyD]

Is it because you are saving money, or living with parents due to finances?

Saving money for a house.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Wat

What?

 

[E92 M3]

Saving money for a house.

That's legit - you shouldn't have issues getting a date. Rent is a big waste of money most of the time anyways.

 

[crazy monkey]

nope. I know many man are looking for women in that age. At that age both men and women are mature and share many common goals.

 

[Roland_Gunner]

I'd love to meet a single 30+ woman without kids who doesn't want to have them.

I won't date a single mom who is 30+ because I don't want to come into some kid's life. I don't like kids and don't want to have any.

Unfortunately most 30+ women I've met are in a hurry to get married/have kids because of that biological clock thing.

I'm 36.

Its obviously not a long term strategy but I've gone out with single moms for months without meeting their kid. Just be upfront that you don't want to be involved in the child's life. That will be a deal breaker for some women but others want a guy they can go out with occasionally outside of their family. Being a single mom is really tough, its not bad to bring them some simple, uncomplicated fun.

 

[XiaNaphryz]

When is it that woman start having difficulties in having children?, the average age i mean...

I believe in general it's 35 or older that gets classified as high-risk if someone gets pregnant.

 

[Leeness]

Damn leeness thought we were friends

Online friends vs IRL friends.

 

[God Dayumm]

From the late comedian Patrice O'neal:

I know it's a joke, but absolutely false and this myth should be done away with. It depends on their lifestyle during previous years. If a woman is into fitness, eats healthy and doesn't abuse drugs she can be gorgeous in her 30s and even beyond. This is true for men as well of course. And this is not only genetics, compare Marlon Brando and his lifestyle to that of other celebrities and how they looked then and now.

 

[ohlawd]

if any ladies out there need a house husband, I'm right here. You take care of me and I'll take care of you, the house, and the kids.

 

[GONZO]

Well, I'm 37 now and I've dated for most of my thirties in the NYC area. My experience has been that women over thirty are definitely more of a "fast track" when it comes to dating. And for me personally that was always a turn off. I've been in a long term relationship now with my current girlfriend. She's 31 now and has no interest in having children any time soon. If I look back at how we started objectively I can honestly say that her laid back attitude is one of the things that attracted me to her initially.


I don't believe it's and age issue in regards to looks or physical attraction. I just think that women and men who are single in their thirties have two traits that hurt them incredibly.

A: High expectations
B: Need of offspring quickly

And anecdotaly speaking.......Single people who have never been married get crazy in their thirties. It's just hard finding someone that can put up with your level of crazy.

 

[Yautja_Warrior]

Let me guess, that's a "friend of yours" right, m'sir?
....

I have a girlfriend and we live together, been together 3 years now and just over a year living together, so this really is a friend of my girlfriend, believe it or not.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

And anecdotaly speaking.......Single people who have never been married get crazy in their thirties. It's just hard finding someone that can put up with your level of crazy.

Crazy how?

Too set in their ways? Unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should offer? Too insular/lacking the ability to work as part of a couple?

 

[KonradLaw]

I know it's a joke, but absolutely false and this myth should be done away with. It depends on their lifestyle during previous years. If a woman is into fitness, eats healthy and doesn't abuse drugs she can be gorgeous in her 30s and even beyond. This is true for men as well of course. And this is not only genetics, compare Marlon Brando and his lifestyle to that of other celebrities and how they looked then and now.

Men have potential to age slower than women, which is combo of genetics and social norms. But that's merely potential. Most men completely squander it by living a lot worse lifestyle than women, so in the end they often look older than women at their age.

We're used to movies having older male stars, but those people are cream of the crop and half of their work is making sure they look good. Few normal people do anywhere near as much as top actors.

 

[FalsettoVibe]

Louis CK has a bit about this. As you age as a man you slowly gain more power in the dating game, vs women who start out at over 9000 power level and slowly decrease. It's the nature of things, at least in modern Western society.

Is there a clip of this skit?