Schwowsers
Member
I'd have no problem dating someone who is HIV+. People who know their status and are being treated aren't the ones spreading it around.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Would You Date Someone Who Is HIV Positive?
- Thread starter Mercury Fred
- Start date
- Status
The Chosen One
Member
Holy Necrobump Batman...
As for the topic, probably not but Magic Johnson is still kicking and most people thought he wouldn't live past 1995. So you never know.
As for the topic, probably not but Magic Johnson is still kicking and most people thought he wouldn't live past 1995. So you never know.
Casual sexism
esmith08734
Member
What a bump, lol. Definitely not, though.
Count Dookkake
Member
The positive attributes you value based on your post are attractiveness, thinness, and breast size. And maybe having dead eyes. Pretty text book stuff.
Count Dookkake
Member
My comment was a comic exaggeration about sexual compatibility, as evidenced by the second half which you truncated. Not about looks.
Fwiw, I already only date intelligent women to whom I feel physical attraction. I don't really care about money. Not sure what other attributes I am required to care about.
Not that Dookkake needs me to defend him, but I took it as "she'd pretty much have to be the equivalent of a custom made sex doll". A straight woman could just as easily say "he'd pretty much have to have a cock with more bells and whistles than my most expensive vibe."
No casual sexism detected, just gender-agnostic objectification for comic effect.
The One and Done
Member
Positively not. It's a deal breaker for me.
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
No. Unfortunate condition and thankfully heavily treatable today, but no.
And it should be (and in some places is) a crime not to disclose, as small as the risk may be if treated.
And it should be (and in some places is) a crime not to disclose, as small as the risk may be if treated.
JrBaconCheeseburger
Member
OP don't do it.
No way to live with that fear deep down inside.
You will find another person who is not HIV +
No way to live with that fear deep down inside.
You will find another person who is not HIV +
Manmademan
Member
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
soundscream
Member
There really have been some amazing, perhaps even unthinkable for 2008, medical advances in almost a decade when it comes to controlling and preventing HIV.
From Whitman-Walker, the clinic which was instrumental in getting PreP to the public:
That 8% is still to high for me personally. I wouldn't drive my car if I had a 8% chance of getting in a accident.
Rbk_3
Member
Reduces an already low risk by 92%. That's not saying an 8% chance.
soundscream
Member
If the number isnt 100% I wouldn'tbe comfortable. And thats just my opinion. Condoms aren't a 100% effective, and if I knew ahead of time the person I was about to have sex with had any STD I wouldn't do it.
People who are undetectable and remain that way ARE healthy. They're probably more fucking healthy than you are!
OrlanisWorks
Banned
If I was in my forties and single: probably.
Before then, probably not. Actually tough to say. Medical advancements have been pretty solid. Not perfect, but progress has been made.
Before then, probably not. Actually tough to say. Medical advancements have been pretty solid. Not perfect, but progress has been made.
GuitarGuruu
Member
I don't believe so, no.
I made a thread a while back asking something similar. I don't think I would, but I'm also not looking to date anyone right now anyways.
Awh that would have made this necro bump amazing if things actually did work out.
Awh that would have made this necro bump amazing if things actually did work out.
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
Considering how dangerous it is to drive, specially on ice, specially with some other drivers, and considering you would drive more time than having sex with an HIV positive person, I'm pretty sure that it's more dangerous driving a car.
Might be wrong though.
Up to 92% reduction and a 92% reduction is a big difference. Up to 92% could be anything.
GhostTrick
Banned
Psychological Intellect
Banned
NOPE
Amibguous Cad
Member
Your number isn't 100% with someone who doesn't know their status, either. Most HIV infections are transmitted by people who don't know their status. And no, you're not safe if you're heterosexual.
Anyway, the chance of HIV infection is minimal with PrEP, minuscule if also treated with antivirals, and nonexistent when both of those are layered with condoms. A refusal to date someone who is positive and knows isn't quite homophobic, and isn't quite ableist, but it's certainly rooted in animus against people with this particular disease. It also makes it much harder to get people to learn and disclose their HIV status.
Amibguous Cad said:
It isn't close to homophobic. Most posters in this thread are straight men taking about dating women. Homosexuality is only being discussed by gay and bisexual posters. Orientation is only relevant to this conversation insofar as it describes the people we prefer to date. It is not the 80s; we know HIV doesn't discriminate.
The tenuous connection to ablism I'll give you; but this issue isn't a prejudgement against a person based on an ailment. No one's saying people with HIV are sinners or bad partners here. The unwillingness stems from a refusal to knowingly put oneself in harm's way. Nothing more, nothing less.
Finally, the idea that anyone who refuses to penetrate or be penetrated by another human being who is HIV positive harbours animosity towards people with HIV is utterly absurd. I prefer not to kiss people with colds, and I wouldn't date* someone with trichomoniasis; but somehow I manage not to harbour any ill will towards people suffering from these infections.
Edit: *I completely misspoke when I posted this last night. I meant "I wouldn't have sex with." I'd have no problem dating someone with a curable infection.
Trichomoniasis is a common and curable condition. You're seriously saying that if someone was being upfront about that embarrassing thing, you wouldn't date that person? I guess thats your choice..
You may not have any ill will towards those people, but you most certainly have an irrational fear towards those people. Thats a fact.
And heeey guess what? That's exactly where HIV stigma comes from: Fear
You have hard fucking science saying that people who are on medication CANNOT give away HIV. You have hard fucking science saying that people with HIV can go on to have children who are free from the virus. We prech science up and down on these boards and yet we seem to have a hard time understanding this. Why?
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
8% risk is still too high for me personally.
Every jurisdiction should have a law which requires disclosure because of that risk, and I'm pretty sure many do.
It's very good for people living with the affliction that we've progressed medically and been able to treat it much better than before, but it's still a serious concern and not a risk to be entered into lightly.
Every jurisdiction should have a law which requires disclosure because of that risk, and I'm pretty sure many do.
It's very good for people living with the affliction that we've progressed medically and been able to treat it much better than before, but it's still a serious concern and not a risk to be entered into lightly.
The Salt Life
Banned
Absolutely not
But that's just me. I think I would rather just be single the rest of my life than date someone with HIV. Because when I do eventually catch it, I'm going to be kicking myself.
But that's just me. I think I would rather just be single the rest of my life than date someone with HIV. Because when I do eventually catch it, I'm going to be kicking myself.
metalslimer
Member
This is how bs gets spread. There is not an 8% risk
That being said Im not sure if I could handle this. I just think it would cloud my mind a little too much when being intimate and I wouldn't want to put myself or the other person through that.
Straight Edge
Member
Statistically the average driver is involved in a car accident once every 18 years.
There's a big difference between a controlled study and actual, real-world people that have to consciously take their medication every day as well as take all the other precautions.
Ofcourse if you do everything perfectly by the book, the risk of transmission is negligible. That isn't up for debate. But that doesn't mean it's instantly safe to have intercourse with the 'average' HIV-positive person out there. Even if the risk is low, the risks can still be too high.
As I said, i'd have zero problems being close friends with HIV+ people. None at all. But i'm not risking my health with intercourse because that means i'd be handing over responsibility of my health to the person i'm sleeping with. And I can't control that.
If it were a long, close relationship and i'm 100% convinced that my partner is taking his diagnosis and treatment 100% seriously, then who knows what might happen. But you shouldn't be so quick to begrudge people for saying they aren't willing to take this risk.
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
First thing first: 8% of a small chance on itself is minuscule compared to other things that you do that may actually have a bigger risk of injury. This is like people celebrating when the Vita had increases of a 1000% in sales, when a 1000% increase of almost nothing amounts to pretty much nothing. People really need to review their math.
Second thing is that thankfully many jurisdictions have respect to the privacy of others, and I'm starting to think that some might want to have HIV-Positive patients who are literally branded on their clothes so they can avoid all contact with them.
Here's some real world data: ZERO: no linked HIV transmissions in PARTNER study after couples had sex 58,000 times without condoms.
Aaronrules380
Member
It's a tough question. Personally I probably wouldn't because I wouldn't want to enter a relationship that has little chance of being long term and beyond just the issue of getting it myself is the fact that I'd like to have kids one day as well and that adds further complications
TheFierceGentleman
Banned
Yeah, totally would date someone with HIV.
Life is too short for me to lower my horizons on a potentially great partner. If they were already honest with me about such a disease like this, it already tells me this is someone I can trust on other issues. Not only that, but a "clean" partner could have HIV and they don't know it, even with testing; false positives and negatives.
Of course, I'd get PREP, take safety precautions in terms of blood contact and open wounds, use condoms, etc.
Life is too short for me to lower my horizons on a potentially great partner. If they were already honest with me about such a disease like this, it already tells me this is someone I can trust on other issues. Not only that, but a "clean" partner could have HIV and they don't know it, even with testing; false positives and negatives.
Of course, I'd get PREP, take safety precautions in terms of blood contact and open wounds, use condoms, etc.
- Status