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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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No. I acted like I didnt give a shit when she was giving it everything to make it work. I had recently come out of an almost 8 year relationship so when I caught feelings, instead of going for it I got all scared and got my back up against the wall and pushed her away.

Time to look up Infinity Patriot's saga here on GAF.
Stay off this girl's Twitter.
 

vern

Member
I'm based in Thailand for a year, at least. May just keep a place here so I can always come "home". I've planted the seed with her that she should take the freelance accounting she's already doing and spin that into an internet-based business. Wish me luck.

Hope that seed you planted is strictly metaphorical.


Take her with you to Chiang Mai when I go, we can double date.
 
Sure she hasn't moved on and dating someone else already? If she's all that I'm sure they'll be a lot of attention from other guys.
Shes not dating anyone else but I know there is some competition hanging around.

As soon as I find out she is seeing someone else I will mve the fuck on. I just feel like I should make an effort because I believe it could have been something special. She was into me for sure. I just fudged it all up. I dont think its unfixable. Who knows tho.

I should add that we did the hanky panky like 2 weeks ago. She invited me over. Then she went rogue again the next day lol. Maybe something still there or that was closure for her. I dont fucking know.
 
Yeah, sounds about right.

I think I'll give it a lil bit. Give her some space. Let her know I'm still interested and just hit the gym in the meantime. If she comes around I'll be happy. If not then I guess its onto the next one.

I'm just seriously kicking myself for handling things the way I did. This girl is rad as fuck.
 
If she really was 'rad as fuck' I can't help but feel you wouldn't have been resisting committing as much as you were.

Feels like you're now ignoring the issues that were making you resistant to committing because better to with her than alone...
 

Ledbetter

Member
The only challenge I face is avoiding idiot drivers and idiots walking staring at their phones.

If I get fired I can find another good job in about 2 minutes. Any other typical "challenge " is easily faced out here. I'm always relaxed. Don't have to worry about anything.

What field you guys work in? That kind of lifestyle sounds attractive to me. Wondering if I can pull something like that being a Mexican programmer.
 
If she really was 'rad as fuck' I can't help but feel you wouldn't have been resisting committing as much as you were.

Feels like you're now ignoring the issues that were making you resistant to committing because better to with her than alone...
Ehhhh. After having your girl of 8 years leave you for another guy and have your whole life turned upside down, lose everything you had and spiral into depression and binge drinking... Jumping back into another relationship can be pretty daunting. I just let the fear of falling in love again get the best of me. I just realize now that it was the wrong decision. I'm ready to commit again. I just had this realization a bit too late.
 
Ehhhh. After having your girl of 8 years leave you for another guy and have your whole life turned upside down, lose everything you had and spiral into depression and binge drinking... Jumping back into another relationship can be pretty daunting. I just let the fear of falling in love again get the best of me. I just realize now that it was the wrong decision. I'm ready to commit again. I just had this realization a bit too late.

Maybe you should tell her this.
 
We did it brehs. Girlfriend status confirmed. Cute, age appropriate, decent job, well educated, it's all good. Moved into exclusivity pretty quick, but I'm happy with it. Now to let all my other suitors down...
Yeah, right. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again!
 
We did it brehs. Girlfriend status confirmed. Cute, age appropriate, decent job, well educated, it's all good. Moved into exclusivity pretty quick, but I'm happy with it. Now to let all my other suitors down...

Y'know, I remember the last time I moved this quickly...ended up getting engaged and soon to be married.

It's a trap my dude. Run. Run as fast as your skinny jeans will allow you to...
 
Ehhhh. After having your girl of 8 years leave you for another guy and have your whole life turned upside down, lose everything you had and spiral into depression and binge drinking... Jumping back into another relationship can be pretty daunting. I just let the fear of falling in love again get the best of me. I just realize now that it was the wrong decision. I'm ready to commit again. I just had this realization a bit too late.

Not to be a dick, but perhaps post all relevant information next time. It helps us give you better advice and not make assumptions based on what other people have done in similar situations.

Okay, you told her and the most that's happened if her talking to you a little bit. I think you have to realise it's time to move on. It's hard, but what you're doing now is foregoing meeting new people, who will be just as rad, in the hopes of getting something that's over back.

Even if you were to get back together, things won't be the same, there'll be a tension in the relationship that will eventually tear it apart.
 
Not to be a dick, but perhaps post all relevant information next time. It helps us give you better advice and not make assumptions based on what other people have done in similar situations.

Okay, you told her and the most that's happened if her talking to you a little bit. I think you have to realise it's time to move on. It's hard, but what you're doing now is foregoing meeting new people, who will be just as rad, in the hopes of getting something that's over back.

Even if you were to get back together, things won't be the same, there'll be a tension in the relationship that will eventually tear it apart.
Ya next time I'll be more thourough describing my situation. First time posting in here. Just saw the thread and felt like venting. Appreciate everyones input though.

I know I probably should move on but I feel like I have to put in a solid effort to work things out. I've even talked to a happily married couple of 25 years that were in almost the exact same aituation and it worked out for them. Like I said before, some things are worth fighting for and my heart is telling me to at least try. Not listening to my heart is what got me here in the first place.


Edit: I wasted 8 years on the last one. Im sure a few months on this one wont kill me..

Is this the start of a spiral of depression and binge drinking? It didn't work out well for you last time.
Lol no. The depressed drinking has already passed. 😜

Edit2: but ya thanks for the input fellas. I'll dwell on some of the advice given in here and see what happens. I should go to bed.
 
It was good night team. Won't go into details.

Went and had curry and ice cream. Went back to her neighborhood.

She had her bible group. I had my fidget spinner. It was cool.

We got kicked out of my bench we were on bt security so she proposed we hang out in my car.

Shit was really cool in there.

Afterwards, we agreed to delete our dating apps. We also agreed to not ghost each other.

I guess we are exclusive.
 
I can't get any women on these dating sites/apps to reply to me. SMH.

What's your opening line? If you're going with "Hi, how are you?" That's not interesting enough. Try commenting on their photos (not just "you look nice in that photo", more like "Where was that taken?" "What was happening here" etc.)

You have to be interesting! They will have literally hundereds of men to choose from, so you need to do something to stand out. Just make sure you are not rude, aggressive or disrespectful. Remember, you want them to like you!

Even then your failure rate is going to be high. Just stick with it, eventually you'll find someone! :)
 
It was good night team. Won't go into details.

Went and had curry and ice cream. Went back to her neighborhood.

She had her bible group. I had my fidget spinner. It was cool.

We got kicked out of my bench we were on bt security so she proposed we hang out in my car.

Shit was really cool in there.

Afterwards, we agreed to delete our dating apps. We also agreed to not ghost each other.

I guess we are exclusive.

54RLsjpg.gif
 
It was good night team. Won't go into details.

Went and had curry and ice cream. Went back to her neighborhood.

She had her bible group. I had my fidget spinner. It was cool.

We got kicked out of my bench we were on bt security so she proposed we hang out in my car.

Shit was really cool in there.

Afterwards, we agreed to delete our dating apps. We also agreed to not ghost each other.

I guess we are exclusive.
Is fidget spinner the new cool term for masturbation?

Well done, anyway.
 

vern

Member
What field you guys work in? That kind of lifestyle sounds attractive to me. Wondering if I can pull something like that being a Mexican programmer.

Zackie is a world famous video game lawyer and Jason statham impersonater.

I was an immigration consultant selling green cards, then a wandering photographer, now executive in the wedding industry. 🤔

Lots of opportunity out here.

You know I ain't tryna have no kid. I'm not like you and Ray Wonder.
I thought it was Chiang Rai. And sure 😉

Lol yep it is Rai. I get em mixed up.
 
A little update from me. Me and my work colleague went out a couple of times but nothing really came of it.

She was younger and hesitant of going out
with someone from work. We decided that friends would be better in the long run. I definitely like her then she looked me.

Time to move on. About to head to a mates bday party, hopefully some nice people there.
 

artsi

Member
Just booked a date with the oldest woman I've met via Tinder yet (14 years older than me), but looking at pics she's in pretty good shape.

Today I'm going out with this 24yo nurse, she wants to see some kind of theatre thing.

Bank teller is busy this weekend, but second date is next week I guess.

There's also two women who just want me to go netflix&chill and I'm just now realizing how fucked up it is juggling all these girls.

It was good night team. Won't go into details.

...

I guess we are exclusive.

VmaxLQJ.jpg
 

Xun

Member
We did it brehs. Girlfriend status confirmed. Cute, age appropriate, decent job, well educated, it's all good. Moved into exclusivity pretty quick, but I'm happy with it. Now to let all my other suitors down...



If she's LA-based, she will understand.

It was good night team. Won't go into details.

Went and had curry and ice cream. Went back to her neighborhood.

She had her bible group. I had my fidget spinner. It was cool.

We got kicked out of my bench we were on bt security so she proposed we hang out in my car.

Shit was really cool in there.

Afterwards, we agreed to delete our dating apps. We also agreed to not ghost each other.

I guess we are exclusive.
Well done guys!
 

vern

Member
Wtf is that? A celebrant? Or someone at a wedding planning company?

You gotta think big man, this is China. Working at a company that does everything from wedding photography (started as a single studio 9 years ago and now does over 1 billion in revenue across the entire company) to wedding dress boutiques to huge wedding halls, and more. We have about 40 brands in the wedding, fashion and photography fields in Asia. We are expanding out of China with our premier photography and wedding dress brands...

Here's a little video we put together the other day on our recent trip to buy wedding dresses in New York at Fashion Week, amongst other things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NmZRtCA-Qc
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
We did it brehs. Girlfriend status confirmed. Cute, age appropriate, decent job, well educated, it's all good. Moved into exclusivity pretty quick, but I'm happy with it. Now to let all my other suitors down...
If she's LA-based, she will understand.

Congrats!

You know I ain't tryna have no kid. I'm not like you and Ray Wonder.
I thought it was Chiang Rai. And sure 😉

I take it back


It was good night team. Won't go into details.
I guess we are exclusive.

Niiice, glad I got to see your story. You've come a long way, keep that shit going!
 
Ya next time I'll be more thourough describing my situation. First time posting in here. Just saw the thread and felt like venting. Appreciate everyones input though.

I know I probably should move on but I feel like I have to put in a solid effort to work things out. I've even talked to a happily married couple of 25 years that were in almost the exact same aituation and it worked out for them. Like I said before, some things are worth fighting for and my heart is telling me to at least try. Not listening to my heart is what got me here in the first place.


Edit: I wasted 8 years on the last one. Im sure a few months on this one wont kill me..


Lol no. The depressed drinking has already passed. 😜

Edit2: but ya thanks for the input fellas. I'll dwell on some of the advice given in here and see what happens. I should go to bed.
I spent two years chasing a woman I was too stupid to realize would never like me back, it might be a few months, but it's time you'll never get back. Even if you got her back who's to say she'll act the same way and put the amount of effort into the relationship that she used to?
 

Peltz

Member
It was good night team. Won't go into details.

Went and had curry and ice cream. Went back to her neighborhood.

She had her bible group. I had my fidget spinner. It was cool.

We got kicked out of my bench we were on bt security so she proposed we hang out in my car.

Shit was really cool in there.

Afterwards, we agreed to delete our dating apps. We also agreed to not ghost each other.

I guess we are exclusive.
Nice man. I'm happy for you.

Ya next time I'll be more thourough describing my situation. First time posting in here. Just saw the thread and felt like venting. Appreciate everyones input though.

I know I probably should move on but I feel like I have to put in a solid effort to work things out. I've even talked to a happily married couple of 25 years that were in almost the exact same aituation and it worked out for them. Like I said before, some things are worth fighting for and my heart is telling me to at least try. Not listening to my heart is what got me here in the first place.


Edit: I wasted 8 years on the last one. Im sure a few months on this one wont kill me..


Lol no. The depressed drinking has already passed. ��

Edit2: but ya thanks for the input fellas. I'll dwell on some of the advice given in here and see what happens. I should go to bed.

Jerk off and move on. You're not in love with this one. You're just playing "what could have been".

Love isn't just about meeting the right person. It's about having the timing right and also communicating on a deep/open level in both directions. You didn't have that. She doesn't feel like you had that. For her, the trust isn't there, and that's a big no-no for you. You're going to spend way too much time trying to "prove" your worthy and it's not a good look for you, nor does it indicate that you have self-respect.

So it's not happening. It may have been the right person but it sounds like it was at the wrong time. There will be others and I wouldn't try to force something that isn't happening naturally. If she's not 100% feeling you, even if it's based on your own regrettable mistakes, then it's time to move on. You want someone who is sure, not someone you have to convince.

Don't try to make a girlfriend out of someone who isn't 100% all about you. Again, have some self-respect. Self-respect isn't only about not chasing a girl who isn't sure of you... it also includes holding yourself accountable for fucking up a situation and being able to roll with the consequences and accept them.

In other words, accept that you fucked up and learn from it. But don't try to erase the fuck up. It's not healthy and your resulting relationship is never going to feel as solid as a fresh start with someone else.

Move on and be a man about your poor decisions in the past. Practice self-acceptance and don't make excuses to try to correct the situation. It's over dude and you'll retain a lot of dignity if you accept it.
 

gaiages

Banned
What do you guys think is a good way to meet girls over the summer? Due to my summer job, I feel like it's harder to meet new people on a regular basis. Summer school starts in about a week for me, so I'd at least have a reason to be at school for a minute, but campus is mostly dead during the summer. I've been spending the last 8 months working on myself and I feel like I wanna try to be in a relationship soon. Any suggestions?

At this point, you'll want to look into events and meetups outside the school--Meetup is a good app if you're in the right area. Otherwise, like Count said, the pool and sports teams help a lot too.

I assume this has already been asked, but have there been examples of gaffers successfully dating other gaffers, and possibly after reading this thread? Iknow some people from gaming communities wo intially met through irc and whose relationship worked very well, so i wonder.

Horse Detective and InfiniteBento are a couple, but I don't think they've come to this thread.

Honestly a lot of women don't come to this thread.

But online community love is kind of a sketchy topic to tread in general.

We did it brehs. Girlfriend status confirmed. Cute, age appropriate, decent job, well educated, it's all good. Moved into exclusivity pretty quick, but I'm happy with it. Now to let all my other suitors down...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Zackie is off the market?!

Congrats dude

Dude he's like me. A white professional dude in Asia. This is very true.

I wanna move to an Asian country but something tells me being a lady will make it a little less... challenge free

Then again maybe accounting is seen as a feminine career in the right places...?

I need to move

Time to look up Infinity Patriot's saga here on GAF.
Stay off this girl's Twitter.

Oh god I forgot about him

Why did you have to bring that up
 

vern

Member
I wanna move to an Asian country but something tells me being a lady will make it a little less... challenge free

Then again maybe accounting is seen as a feminine career in the right places...?

I need to move

You've got a bf (husband?). As a "western" girl you'll not be the pick of the litter for dating, so to speak, but since you've got a significant other it won't matter. Bring him with you. I feel a little bit bad for a lot of the western girls out here.

As far as China goes, you don't have to be stuck in accounting if you don't want, actually probably would be difficult to work as an accountant without local language skills. There are tons of jobs for smart foreign people out here. You gotta be a bit streetsmart though. You'd probably be better off doing digital nomad stuff like Zackie in Thailand and other SE Asian countries... maybe he or his game company clients need an accountant?
 
I wanna move to an Asian country but something tells me being a lady will make it a little less... challenge free

Then again maybe accounting is seen as a feminine career in the right places...?

I need to move

Lot's of successful women here, not many western women so you'll have a unique advantage. If your not a mouse you'll do well.
 

gaiages

Banned
You've got a bf (husband?). As a "western" girl you'll not be the pick of the litter for dating, so to speak, but since you've got a significant other it won't matter. Bring him with you. I feel a little bit bad for a lot of the western girls out here.

As far as China goes, you don't have to be stuck in accounting if you don't want, actually probably would be difficult to work as an accountant without local language skills. There are tons of jobs for smart foreign people out here. You gotta be a bit streetsmart though. You'd probably be better off doing digital nomad stuff like Zackie in Thailand and other SE Asian countries... maybe he or his game company clients need an accountant?

Hmm, my bf is Hispanic though. I don't know how other races go in Asian countries, but he's IT so he could do remote stuff even if he couldn't find a local job. I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable lolol

And yeah, I can probably do something else, but I'm most worried about paying student loan debts off. So it'd probably be better to get out of that first THEN move and do something completely different ;p

European countries are an option too of course, but something tells me it's easier to succeed in an Asian country...

Lot's of successful women here, not many western women so you'll have a unique advantage. If your not a mouse you'll do well.

Hmm, that's a good perspective on it too... I should probably look into it a lot harder after I've settled stuff :)
 

vern

Member
Hmm, my bf is Hispanic though. I don't know how other races go in Asian countries, but he's IT so he could do remote stuff even if he couldn't find a local job. I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable lolol

And yeah, I can probably do something else, but I'm most worried about paying student loan debts off. So it'd probably be better to get out of that first THEN move and do something completely different ;p

European countries are an option too of course, but something tells me it's easier to succeed in an Asian country...

Hispanic is fine, especially if he's light skinned (unfortunate to say)... if he's dark they'll probably think he's Indian or something and I would say that in China that's a pretty big disadvantage.

Hit up Zackie for nomad advice. You can live cheap in SE Asia, probably can pay your loans off faster with a couple of remote clients between you and BF and living in a nice bungalow in Thailand. Sure beats the rat race back home.
 
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