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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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As a "western" girl you'll not be the pick of the litter for dating, so to speak,

Yes agree, but not due to being a western woman, more that the majority of men lack confidence to approach women to begin with and many men that they think need money to get a girfriend. One common thing I've seen is the quiet reliable guy with the ballbreaking wife, she had to chase him as she could see the potential.

I feel a little bit bad for a lot of the western girls out here.

Just a little bit, now the shoes on the other foot and they hopefully realize they have to be proactive like the men in the west if they don't want to be single, otherwise

giphy.gif


That being said, a western guy with no interest in Asian women will totally clean up, if he's got a little game.
 

Salamando

Member
Fun (non-dating) morning for me...had a flight to NYC that got cancelled. Delta rebooked me on a series of flights that would take ten hours to get me there, mainly from the detours to Atlanta and DC. Re-rebooked, got a direct flight, but now I get there a half-day after I'd planned to.

For the NYC-gaf lurking here, what's a good way to kill a night for those that don't drink/club? My AirBNB's in Queens and I'll only have a few hours (need to be up early tomorrow). Worse comes to worse, I'll just explore.


The incident Zackie's referring to, dude would check her Facebook well over a year after they separated. The overthinking was set to 11 - he'd notice when she was more active (holidays, "around his birthday") and think that was her showing off her new BF to him. I truly help he got the help he needs and found the closure he so desperately sought.
 
I will admit to checking my ex's FB, but I don't do it too often, maybe done it...twice? I don't text her, stalk her or try to initiate contact with her, it's probably been since August since I've last said something to her. I really do hope he got the help he needed and hopefully that's a pitfall I don't fall into. I do move on pretty decently at least.
 
For the NYC-gaf lurking here, what's a good way to kill a night for those that don't drink/club? My AirBNB's in Queens and I'll only have a few hours (need to be up early tomorrow). Worse comes to worse, I'll just explore.

Where in Queens? We have an insane amount of options when it comes to good food, so I'd say that's potentially something to do. Other than that, museums maybe? I'm pretty sure MoMA is free on Fridays until 8 (although I've never been and can't say whether it's a shitshow or not).
 

Xun

Member
I'd love to work as a digital nomad one day, but I'm just not sure how feasible it would be as an illustrator... 🤔
 

Salamando

Member
Where in Queens? We have an insane amount of options when it comes to good food, so I'd say that's potentially something to do. Other than that, museums maybe? I'm pretty sure MoMA is free on Fridays until 8 (although I've never been and can't say whether it's a shitshow or not).

Astoria. Few blocks east of Musuem of Moving Image. And I will welcome any and all food suggestions.
 

gaiages

Banned
Hispanic is fine, especially if he's light skinned (unfortunate to say)... if he's dark they'll probably think he's Indian or something and I would say that in China that's a pretty big disadvantage.

Hit up Zackie for nomad advice. You can live cheap in SE Asia, probably can pay your loans off faster with a couple of remote clients between you and BF and living in a nice bungalow in Thailand. Sure beats the rat race back home.

Damn, he's pretty dark skinned... ah well, we can look into the cultural/racial stuff at a later date. Bungalows do sound nice though :p

You're right that it would probably be faster to pay off those loans though >.> I'll bug Zackie a bunch sooner rather than later.

😔😔😔

I don't really count, though.

Well I mean it's two of us compared to like 10-20 guys depending on thread activity for the week :p

I'd love to work as a digital nomad one day, but I'm just not sure how feasible it would be as an illustrator... 🤔

Honestly that seems more feasible than the average office job. You should be able to freelance your skills at the very least.
 

Salamando

Member
Why would I? :p



I mean sure, but I don't date so...don't really count. Even though I adore most of your here and like being here. ❤️
You're looking for a relationship, same as us all. You're just looking for something unique in the sex department (as in, a complete lack of it). Even then, it's not like seeking sexual compatibility is all that unique either.
I also like teasing you about disney related things. So much fun!
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
OooOo, once my boss retires I can do freelance steel detailing and move wherever I want! I never even thought of that until now.

How do you all live in a country that doesn't speak your language? Did you learn it or is it pretty English friendly?
 
How do you all live in a country that doesn't speak your language? Did you learn it or is it pretty English friendly?

Partner up with someone that speaks English, learn a bit of the local language yourself and throw yourself in the deep end with a girl that does not speak English and move in together. Super easy now using the translate function on Wechat, back in the day we had to do it in Dark Souls mode.

P1070324_zpsm3fekhat.jpg
 
Dadbod vs an Artist...my money's on Dadbod

That sloth on his head is like the Cyclops beam eyewear, I don't stand a chance.

Please film and put on instagram so we can loop Zackie's L infinitely

Please. I've been training my entire life for this one moment. 5 different martial arts, and the kind of rage only a middle class white man can muster. Gonna tear into Ray like One Punch Man 😏
I'd love to work as a digital nomad one day, but I'm just not sure how feasible it would be as an illustrator... 🤔

1st question. Can you earn money through your skills online?
What he said. There aren't many lawyers who work like this either, but it can be done. I'm living proof.
OooOo, once my boss retires I can do freelance steel detailing and move wherever I want! I never even thought of that until now.

How do you all live in a country that doesn't speak your language? Did you learn it or is it pretty English friendly?
A combination of both. There's enough English being spoken here, but I'm also learning to read and speak the language. Contrast it with Chongqing, China, where no one seems to speak English and my very limited Chinese wasn't much help. Luckily I was there for a client and he took care of everything.
 

Jhoan

Member
Nice man. I'm happy for you.



Jerk off and move on. You're not in love with this one. You're just playing "what could have been".

Love isn't just about meeting the right person. It's about having the timing right and also communicating on a deep/open level in both directions. You didn't have that. She doesn't feel like you had that. For her, the trust isn't there, and that's a big no-no for you. You're going to spend way too much time trying to "prove" your worthy and it's not a good look for you, nor does it indicate that you have self-respect.

So it's not happening. It may have been the right person but it sounds like it was at the wrong time. There will be others and I wouldn't try to force something that isn't happening naturally. If she's not 100% feeling you, even if it's based on your own regrettable mistakes, then it's time to move on. You want someone who is sure, not someone you have to convince.

Don't try to make a girlfriend out of someone who isn't 100% all about you. Again, have some self-respect. Self-respect isn't only about not chasing a girl who isn't sure of you... it also includes holding yourself accountable for fucking up a situation and being able to roll with the consequences and accept them.

In other words, accept that you fucked up and learn from it. But don't try to erase the fuck up. It's not healthy and your resulting relationship is never going to feel as solid as a fresh start with someone else.

Move on and be a man about your poor decisions in the past. Practice self-acceptance and don't make excuses to try to correct the situation. It's over dude and you'll retain a lot of dignity if you accept it.
Serious question: What does it mean to "be a man" and "man up?" I find that phrase overplayed and overused. I'm not a fan of the phrase at all, growing up with a single mother and two older brothers and constantly being bombarded with that phrase.
Fun (non-dating) morning for me...had a flight to NYC that got cancelled. Delta rebooked me on a series of flights that would take ten hours to get me there, mainly from the detours to Atlanta and DC. Re-rebooked, got a direct flight, but now I get there a half-day after I'd planned to.

For the NYC-gaf lurking here, what's a good way to kill a night for those that don't drink/club? My AirBNB's in Queens and I'll only have a few hours (need to be up early tomorrow). Worse comes to worse, I'll just explore.

MoMA is quite crowded on Fridays being free and open late. If you don't like dealing with tourists, I would recommend The Met over MoMA because it's pay what you wish contrary to the suggested donation. Otherwise, I would say to stay in Queens and check out MoMA PS1, the Noguchi Museum, or The Queens Museum in Flushing. Almost anywhere you walk in Queens, you'll be seeing something new. The Museum of the Moving Image is getting a Jim Henson exhibit that was just successfully crowd funded and is fun. For the best Italian Ice in the city, check out the Lemon Ice King of Corona. Honestly, you can't go wrong with waltzing into a random restaurant in Queens because there's so much diversity to be found. For any other places and recommendations, see the NYC GAF OP and feel free to ask any more questions in there.

RE: Living abroad. I've been craving an adventure abroad and have always wanted to live abroad and get away from NYC for several months but I don't have the finances for it. Then again, I'm also a brown skinned Hispanic; I'm pretty sure that most people wouldn't have a clue where the Dominican Republic or Cuba is (my family's ethnic background) if I were to show them on a map. I do want to plan a two week trip to Canada for the summer though.
 
Well I mean it's two of us compared to like 10-20 guys depending on thread activity for the week :p

Maybe more, lol. I've been somewhat lurking the thread every couple of days because I've been in Japan for the last couple weeks, so it's not like I can do much while I'm here. Cheers for the links to the fashion sites, this year's been a big change up for me. Actually bought clothes that aren't all black and totally re-outfitted my wardrobe with shit that's not embarrassing. Actual dressy button-ups and not just 8-12 band/gaming T-shirts? It's a miracle!
 
Maybe more, lol. I've been somewhat lurking the thread because I've been in Japan for the last couple weeks. Cheers for the links to the fashion sites, this year's been a big change up for me. Actually bought clothes that aren't all black and totally re-outfitted my wardrobe.

Getting rid of black and wearing some colour helps a lot.
 
Getting rid of black and wearing some colour helps a lot.

I initially only bought some greyish/whitish chinos and a Blue/white spotted button up. Went to a mate's party and had girls I'd seen casually for years but never really spoken to remark that I looked great... even had some great conversations with a bunch of them and hooked up with one. Went home and literally binned almost all of the shit I had haha, next day was very expensive, but so far it's been very worth it. I do still have 1 band shirt reserved exclusively for concerts though 😒

By the way Gaf, I'm in a slight conundrum with a girl I've been talking to whilst on holiday. She's been messaging me as much as I've been messaging her, it's been fairly chill, except a close friend of mine (who happens to be her best friend) told me that she tends to date guys for a few months and then ditch them... and that she's kinda crazy. Not sure how much stock to put into the claims etc.

I'm guessing I should just take the heads up on board and be slightly wary of the warning I was given from here on out? Just see how it goes etc?
 

Leeness

Member
You're looking for a relationship, same as us all. You're just looking for something unique in the sex department (as in, a complete lack of it). Even then, it's not like seeking sexual compatibility is all that unique either.
I also like teasing you about disney related things. So much fun!

I dunno haha. I don't think I'll ever find that, and I've shut down all my apps anyway haha.

Mean!
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Partner up with someone that speaks English, learn a bit of the local language yourself and throw yourself in the deep end with a girl that does not speak English and move in together. Super easy now using the translate function on Wechat, back in the day we had to do it in Dark Souls mode.

P1070324_zpsm3fekhat.jpg

That sounds crazy. And fun af.

Please. I've been training my entire life for this one moment. 5 different martial arts, and the kind of rage only a middle class white man can muster. Gonna tear into Ray like One Punch Man 😏

I gotta warn you, I used to play badminton a lot. My arms are pure steel.

A combination of both. There's enough English being spoken here, but I'm also learning to read and speak the language. Contrast it with Chongqing, China, where no one seems to speak English and my very limited Chinese wasn't much help. Luckily I was there for a client and he took care of everything.

Hm. That sounds scary, and I don't know if I have the fortitude to pull through something like that without a panic attack.

You've got the baldness down anyway...

That was what I was getting at with the sloth Cyclops thing if no one caught it. If that sloth moves it's arms it's over for me.
 

Afrocious

Member
a middle class white man's rage is nothing to scoff at. it can range from resulting in a stern talking to on a manager to the killing of random folks lol
 

Lulubop

Member
Astoria. Few blocks east of Musuem of Moving Image. And I will welcome any and all food suggestions.

Astoria has a lot of good eats, especially for brunch. If you like BBQ I'd recommend the Strand. There's a pretty nice park by the East River you can wander around as well. I'm sure someone can help you better, I just really know their bars.
 
Nice man. I'm happy for you.



Jerk off and move on. You're not in love with this one. You're just playing "what could have been".

Love isn't just about meeting the right person. It's about having the timing right and also communicating on a deep/open level in both directions. You didn't have that. She doesn't feel like you had that. For her, the trust isn't there, and that's a big no-no for you. You're going to spend way too much time trying to "prove" your worthy and it's not a good look for you, nor does it indicate that you have self-respect.

So it's not happening. It may have been the right person but it sounds like it was at the wrong time. There will be others and I wouldn't try to force something that isn't happening naturally. If she's not 100% feeling you, even if it's based on your own regrettable mistakes, then it's time to move on. You want someone who is sure, not someone you have to convince.

Don't try to make a girlfriend out of someone who isn't 100% all about you. Again, have some self-respect. Self-respect isn't only about not chasing a girl who isn't sure of you... it also includes holding yourself accountable for fucking up a situation and being able to roll with the consequences and accept them.

In other words, accept that you fucked up and learn from it. But don't try to erase the fuck up. It's not healthy and your resulting relationship is never going to feel as solid as a fresh start with someone else.

Move on and be a man about your poor decisions in the past. Practice self-acceptance and don't make excuses to try to correct the situation. It's over dude and you'll retain a lot of dignity if you accept it.

Haha fuuuuck. Yeah you probably right. I have lots of relationship experience and I know how to make them work. This is just my first time in a situation like this and I just dont know how to handle it.

I guess I'll get back out there and meet some new ones. I was thinking about it all night and today and I feel kinda pathetic for how much effort I have been putting in trying to fix things instead of just manning up and accepting that I fucked it up. At least I can say I tried even though a little too late.

Definitely learned a new lesson from this. And I thought I knew it all. I thought if I showed her I can be the guy she wanted me to be in the first place that she would come back. Instead I probably just look sad in her eyes. Motherfucker.

It is what it is I guess. Just fucking sucks for sure. Funny how the tables turned the way it did with her putting in all the effort and me not giving a fuck to the exact opposite.

Welp. I know how she felt anyway.

To Tinder!!
 
Why would I? :p

I asked you first doe!! :p

Please. I've been training my entire life for this one moment. 5 different martial arts, and the kind of rage only a middle class white man can muster. Gonna tear into Ray like One Punch Man 😏

Hit em with the consecutive normal punch

Definitely learned a new lesson from this. And I thought I knew it all. I thought if I showed her I can be the guy she wanted me to be in the first place that she would come back. Instead I probably just look sad in her eyes. Motherfucker.

Whenever you gotta prove you can be someone different to your partner it's pree much dead. Like 99% of the time it's basically over at that point.
 
If things don't go my way, in a couple years after I've got some loans out of the way I think I'm gonna move to asia and try my luck there, thanks for the advice dudes :D
 

vypek

Member
I need a way to get this girl to say no to me without it backfiring in my face like the other time.

Why don't you say no? I'm guessing to avoid lecture or problem with your father?

I mean if you have to have her say no to you and thats the only way to take care of the situation I think there are probably a lot of things that can be done to make yourself unappealing to someone. Perhaps even some ideas can come from this very thread when people detail mistakes they've made
 

WolfeTone

Member
I need a way to get this girl to say no to me without it backfiring in my face like the other time.

Just show up to the first date wearing a Berserk T-shirt.

That could actually be quite interesting. Agree to meet her but intentionally make it a terrible date.

Talk about your love for anime and videogames non-stop. Tell her about all the women you've had to teach a lesson to for ghosting you. Complain that you had to spend $6 for parking. Emphasize that you still love your ex and you compare every woman to her.

You'll be free of this woman in no time.
 
That could actually be quite interesting. Agree to meet her but intentionally make it a terrible date.

Talk about your love for anime and videogames non-stop. Tell her about all the women you've had to teach a lesson to for ghosting you. Complain that you had to spend $6 for parking. Emphasize that you still love your ex and you compare every woman to her.

You'll be free of this woman in no time.

Also, tell her you will ONLY eat pizza when it has pineapple on it. Then she will realize you are a monster and bail out.
 
That could actually be quite interesting. Agree to meet her but intentionally make it a terrible date.

Talk about your love for anime and videogames non-stop. Tell her about all the women you've had to teach a lesson to for ghosting you. Complain that you had to spend $6 for parking. Emphasize that you still love your ex and you compare every woman to her.

You'll be free of this woman in no time.
"Hey girl wanna see my Gunpla collection?"
 

gaiages

Banned
I used to wear a bunch of black t shirts but now I have animals that are not black so it... like, doesn't work lol. I can keep my house spotless and still have fur all over a black shirt somehow lol. I still have like two, but I don't wear them because of that. Also I hate how easily you can tell if they're old/faded.

I also hate white shirts though because of how seethrough they can be/for me they're a stain magnet. My wardrobe is all sorts of colors right now lol
 
Tbh you just need to say no. Trying to play sneaky or cunning will just blow up in your face. Whatever lecture you think you're gonna get is still better than playing this game.

Past experience of saying no directly always winds up being awful for me. When the girl says no, it's still awful, but substantially less awful cause I can go "Shrug, I tried"
 
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