I've been dealing with major depression/anxiety for the last few years and as a result I used to cry often, I would also do that in private while holding my issues in. Mental health is already treated poorly and the lack of any real positive depictions of getting help in media keeps that stigma for men, the same reason why continued racial and gender diversity is good. I can't remember what it was that finally pushed me over the edge to start seeking therapy but I did and it's been working.
I got called weak by people in my life, told I wasn't a real man, etc. I also got to see a side of my girlfriend I wasn't expecting, gender rolls completely reversed as she is the strong one in the relationship that keeps it together when things go bad and has to do the heavy lifting in the spousal support area. Depression and the like need to start being presented a different way to encourage more people to seek that help without shame, I don't know how to do that exactly but when I do see people suffering and acting like I did I do try to talk to them and let them know it's okay to feel the way they are and that going to get help doesn't make them any less of a man or anything like that.
I've been dealing with major depression/anxiety for the last few years and as a result I used to cry often, I would also do that in private while holding my issues in. Mental health is already treated poorly and the lack of any real positive depictions of getting help in media keeps that stigma for men, the same reason why continued racial and gender diversity is good. I can't remember what it was that finally pushed me over the edge to start seeking therapy but I did and it's been working.
I got called weak by people in my life, told I wasn't a real man, etc. I also got to see a side of my girlfriend I wasn't expecting, gender rolls completely reversed as she is the strong one in the relationship that keeps it together when things go bad and has to do the heavy lifting in the spousal support area. Depression and the like need to start being presented a different way to encourage more people to seek that help without shame, I don't know how to do that exactly but when I do see people suffering and acting like I did I do try to talk to them and let them know it's okay to feel the way they are and that going to get help doesn't make them any less of a man or anything like that.
I mean no doubt and that's something my therapist talks about and that's why I find it really important to spread that message because too many people still think like thatBro, you're not weak, you're trying to heal yourself, to do something to feel better and seeks therapy, if anything you're not weak.
I've been dealing with major depression/anxiety for the last few years and as a result I used to cry often, I would also do that in private while holding my issues in. Mental health is already treated poorly and the lack of any real positive depictions of getting help in media keeps that stigma for men, the same reason why continued racial and gender diversity is good. I can't remember what it was that finally pushed me over the edge to start seeking therapy but I did and it's been working.
I got called weak by people in my life, told I wasn't a real man, etc. I also got to see a side of my girlfriend I wasn't expecting, gender rolls completely reversed as she is the strong one in the relationship that keeps it together when things go bad and has to do the heavy lifting in the spousal support area. Depression and the like need to start being presented a different way to encourage more people to seek that help without shame, I don't know how to do that exactly but when I do see people suffering and acting like I did I do try to talk to them and let them know it's okay to feel the way they are and that going to get help doesn't make them any less of a man or anything like that.
Have you ever felt lighter afterwards? That's more of what I mean by fantastic sometimes lol. Crying doesn't solve problems of course, it's there for that emotional release.To be honest, I don't feel fantastic after crying at all. My problems are still there and I just feel like shit. But if it makes others feel better afterwards, good for them.
The thread title makes me want to make a photography book of men crying. Just simple portraits of men who are in the midst of crying.
It would be a wonderful photography project just showing raw emotion.
This could be very important, I think, and much needed.The thread title makes me want to make a photography book of men crying. Just simple portraits of men who are in the midst of crying.
It would be a wonderful photography project just showing raw emotion.
What did your dad do when he was upset?To be fair, my sister had the same treatment but she still cried a lot which upset my dad at the higher point, good times...
Sure but you actually said that screaming is "stronger" than crying, and still haven't explained why...Did you missed the "if you need to get shits out ?" It's not what I'm doing, most of the time I just sit, take a time for myself, take a ride or just walk on the street and think about what's up, it's just ideas for people that needs to let them emotions out physically... anyway, doing physical activities is better in my mind than crying, it's just how it is for me but like I say, if crying helps people, then do it as long as it's not what you only do.
What did your dad do when he was upset?
Sure but you actually said that screaming is "stronger" than crying, and still haven't explained why...
I couldn't cry for the longest time even though I wanted to, even though I was feeling tremendous pain. Eventually, I started to cry more easily.I've only cried (actually sobbed) once, and it was alone. I often think of myself as being low-stress, but finding out I'm a major teeth grinder at night kind of made me reflect a bit. How often have I buried pain instead of processing it healthily? Not really sure, to be honest.
While that might work for you and your dad, from my perspective they both sound like cases of bottling up emotions rather then embracing them and moving on. like "I have to walk away from this" and "shut up pain, you don't exist".He usually move his head left to right has sign of disapproval and leave the room without saying anything XD
Fighting spirit I guess, someone that let it go in one rage scream and prepared to take action seems stronger to me than someone crying and doing nothing else.
While that might work for you and your dad, from my perspective they both sound like cases of bottling up emotions rather then embracing them and moving on. like "I have to walk away from this" and "shut up pain, you don't exist".
The funny thing about the whole "Toxic masculinity" part of this subject, is that the only times I have ever seen men being mocked for crying..... is from women.....
Oh don't get me wrong I appreciate the sentiment and can see your point. I just feel that while it can help some it can also cause others to make things worse or increase other bad emotions down the line.I disagree, I, like you, feel like shit some days but I just don't want to overthink things, I just tried to be more positive, I'm trying to not overreacting too, it's very important and just move on as quick as possible from those negative emotions, life is too short to bother with negative thoughts, I do a lot of things like sports, gaming, painting, cinemas etc... top keep my mind busy.
Very true. While I don't mind crying in front of my wife I'm still trying to be composed but on your own you can just embrace it.I watch sad movies or TV shows by myself so no one can see me cry during them.
Feels good.
The funny thing about the whole "Toxic masculinity" part of this subject, is that the only times I have ever seen men being mocked for crying..... is from women.....
As for me, I don't cry easily at all. Maybe 10 times in my entire 35 year life so far....... Yet, I'm far from "masculine" :/
It's 60/40....This topic.
Please, it's a largely dude's thing to mock other dudes for crying.
Oh don't get me wrong I appreciate the sentiment and can see your point. I just feel that while it can help some it can also cause others to make things worse or increase other bad emotions down the line.
I struggle myself, I have a tonne of serious and stressful things going on in my life this year that are basically out of my control and no real sign for solutions for most of them other than waiting them out but one or two that have the potential to continue and make things worse.
I try to keep myself busy with games, TV, film, spending time with my wife but with how everything is going it's so God damn tiring trying to not let things get on top of me. The thing that really helps is the colour greenbut I gotta cut that down due to money.
Things hopefully should be OK but sometimes it just helps to give in to the emotion and let some of that anxiety go with a good cry.
....This topic.
Please, it's a largely dude's thing to mock other dudes for crying.
....This topic.
Please, it's a largely dude's thing to mock other dudes for crying.
Women are a big part of the problem too.
Thanks, it's easily been the worst year so far but hopefully things will get better by next year.I hope everything will be better for you pretty soon, things happen, you can't always do something about them but remember that, after the rain, comes the rainbow...
This is a good thing. Women cry too much over the smallest things and it's so annoying.
Makes me super uncomfortable when anyone cries. Honestly I don't think you should ever be crying in public if youre an adult. Maybe if someone died or something equally bad.
Someone died? Go for it. Kids got cancer? Sure I'd cry also.
Your girl cheated? Grow up. Bad day at work? Grow up.
Get your shit together. Have a break down at home. Don't put me in a position to have to witness your crap and be uncomfortable. It really gets under my skin.
Edit cause why not I guess: the disgusted statement came off more edgy then I was intending. I don't think people should cry in public for minor things.
Depends on the reason and the frequency of the crying.
Loss of a loved one, some other emotional trauma, a few tears after watching a said movie.
Sure.
Constantly crying because of something like a movie.
Man the fuck up. Applies to women as well.
I guess the question is: are these posters men or women? I wonder.I've never seen my dad crying so I don't cry too, crying is useless, you achieve nothing by crying.
Women can certainly contribute to toxic masculinity, strict gender roles and other regressive nonsense, but to imply they are more to blame than men for toxic masculinity when you have posts like these in this thread...
....Yeah. No.
Lol.
Slightly off-topic though, I've been trying to learn how to let myself cry more when I need it. Any tips?
Women can certainly contribute to toxic masculinity, strict gender roles and other regressive nonsense, but to imply they are more to blame than men for toxic masculinity when you have posts like these in this thread...
....Yeah. No.
The funny thing about the whole "Toxic masculinity" part of this subject, is that the only times I have ever seen men being mocked for crying..... is from women.....
As for me, I don't cry easily at all. Maybe 10 times in my entire 35 year life so far....... Yet, I'm far from "masculine" :/
... You do realize this thing isn't about men literally crying, right?Kolibri, pls
Kolibri, pls
I don't remember reading that Women are more to blame than Men but they have a part of responsibility in that "toxic masculinity" you're talking about for sure.
Literally the person I quoted above claimed as much. And I've seen some posters say crying is for the weak/accomplishes nothing....that reads as toxic masculinity to me.
Sorry for double post.