I was home alone with my girlfriend at the time, and we had just had sex. However, I wasn't expecting my mom to leave work as early as she did, so as my ex is in the bathroom straightening up, I'm in my underwear and as I'm walking from my room to the living room my mom walks in. There is dead silence as I stop in my tracks. She looks at me and then looks at the bathroom door which is closed and has the light on. I'll never forget my mom's expression at that, which in retrospect I can't help but laugh at.
The cherry on top was that I was using the Wii's internet browser. That was my porn-viewing tool of choice for the few years before I got a laptop (hell, I think I continued to use it even afterwards since the laptop was given to us by the school).
Yes. Fucking porn. The other people are my brother. Actually, I think towards the beginning, my brother walked downstairs just as I finished typing 'boobs' into Google. That was kinda embarrassing.
The cherry on top was that I was using the Wii's internet browser. That was my porn-viewing tool of choice for the few years before I got a laptop (hell, I think I continued to use it even afterwards since the laptop was given to us by the school).
my dad was backing up the hard drive and so as the files were being copied all the file names of the porn clips i found on kazaa kept flashing on the status window
I literally had sex with my girlfriend at the time in the trunk of an overstuffed-with-people car while it was in motion on the highway (yes, I know this was incredibly stupid).
It was actually quite intuitive. You could have your controller in one hand and the Wiimote in the other.
Also, since the Wii was weak as shit. It was a Christmas miracle if you could get the damn thing to load a video. At first, I was just looking at images, but the first time I managed to get a video to load, I was like HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
was playing crisis core on the living room TV via the psp component cables and my parents walked in on me during a cutscene with like three one winged angel dudes. They just made fun of me because of how lame it looked
was playing crisis core on the living room TV via the psp component cables and my parents walked in on me during a cutscene with like three one winged angel dudes. They just made fun of me because of how lame it looked
It was actually quite intuitive. You could have your controller in one hand and the Wiimote in the other.
Also, since the Wii was weak as shit. It was a Christmas miracle if you could get the damn thing to load a video. At first, I was just looking at images, but the first time I managed to get a video to load, I was like HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend at the time, in my room. We were both naked. The bed is facing the door, and we hadn't heard anyone come in.
My uncle opened the door and got what I imagine to be a great view of her ass and her head just bobbing up and down. He didn't say anything - he just flashed the biggest smile ever, and quietly closed the door. She didn't notice what was going on, but asked why I went somewhat limp as that's never happened before lol
My uncle still makes fun of me because of the expression I made.
I remember one time in elementary school, I got a bad report card and my parents had to sign it. One morning I decide to finally show my dad and pray he didn't lose his shit at me. He worked night shift at the time, so it was just me and him at the house every weekday morning. One morning I hear the dial up and shit blarring like it use to do and I assume he's doing some work shit. 7 year old me is like "he's distracted, he'll let me off easy right now." My dad thinks I'm asleep and I turn the corner and all I see on the computer was a photo of a woman spreading her legs. My dad doesn't close the tab or anything, probably just shitting himself or something. I show him my report card and he gives me a decent yelling. All the while I'm completely entranced, like "so THAT'S what they have."
I've never talked to him about it, but I guess he thought I was so young to 1)not know it was porn 2)not remember so he was safe lmao
Technically not a "walking in," but another funny story involved my uncle. Both families get together at my uncle's place for a get together. My uncle is having trouble with his computer that he needs for his work. So my dad tries to help him out, it seemed to be an internet problem. So my dad, uncle, and myself all have a good view of the computer, while everyone else in the room is in view, but eating and distracted. My dad clicks the url box, types "p" and immediately the browser shows nothing but favorites from Playboy. The three of us shut up, my uncle is sweating bullets, and I'm just praying nobody else sees to avoid some drama 😂
My high school girlfriend and I used to have sex nearly every night in my car in front of her parents house when I dropped her off for curfew because, I dunno. We were stupid. They were all usually asleep and this was out in the country, so it was mostly safe to do so (they would occasionally check to make sure she got home on time at random).
One night, she's on me while I'm sitting in the drivers seat, we're both buck naked and going at it pretty hard when her ass slams down on the car horn. The lights turned on in the house and we panicked. She jumped to the side, I threw the ignition on and we took off like two naked bats out of hell hoping we wouldn't get pulled over. Got a mile away and finished the job anyway. Close call.
I was about 8 or 9 when this movie came out. xXx starring Vin Diesel. My older sister and I saw the commercials and were excited to find out more about it, so we both scrunched up into the same little director's chair in front of the computer in the corner of our room to look it up on the internet. But we were innocent and naive, and figured the website would be XXX .com.
Obviously, that produced some unexpected results, and we freaked. My sister jumped out of the chair in a panic, and I also attempted to get up. Unfortunately I had bad knees as a kid, so the moment I tried to move my right knee locked up and I was frozen in great pain. My sister's panic tripled, as she didn't know if she should get my parents' help with several naked women on the screen and me crying in agony. I tried once again to get up and limp away from the incriminating screen, but just the thought of applying pressure in the general vicinity of my leg made me scream as if I was dying, causing my sister to scream as if I was dying.
My parents were startled by all this, and came rushing to see what was wrong. I can only imagine how absurd the situation looked. My sister blabbered semi-coherently about what was happening, and throughout my cries of pain I think the least I could muster was a pitiful "MY LEG". Thankfully that was all my dad needed to know. He walked over, briefly looked at the screen and chuckled incredulously, then picked me up in the chair, placed me in the middle of the room, and yanked my leg back into place. Once that was taken care of my sister and I calmed down a bit (I was still crying because my leg still hurt like a bitch) we explained we were just trying to find out about the Vin Diesel movie and didn't expect porn to show up. My mom laughed before explaining what XXX usually means and then lightly scolding us because we weren't old enough to see that movie anyways.
Previously we had all gone to see Rush Hour 2 in theaters, which my mom didn't realize would be so "raunchy," so she walked my sister and I out while my dad and older brother stayed. We went to go see The Princess Diaries instead. Since then she was a bit more strict about movie ratings.
So yeah, that was embarassing. And painful.
oh yeah, there was also that time I was eating my gf at the time out on a seemingly deserted trail when some bikers rode past. to be young and stupid....
I was 18. It was after church n her mom walked in on her riding my dick. As blunt as I said it thats exactly how it happened. Her dad was sleep n boy did I think he was gonna kill me. But nah they liked me so they gave me a ride home but told me I cant c their daughter anymore.
Update: My father informed me that she told him. Twice. He knows what was really going on because I know he's more understanding than her and I was like welp, better tell him what he's about to hear all about before she goes off about it. But apparently she thinks I was just, in his words, "spanking the monkey," and I don't know which is worse in terms of embarrassment. Dammit, I had such a great not-caught streak going up to this point too.
I don't know if this counts but when I was about 15 I was home alone in my room and was watching porn with the volume at a moderate level (enough for people to hear outside of my room) and fell asleep. Didn't even masturbate. I wake up and everyone is home and the porn is still going on and really loud and I just knew my parents heard it and figured I was masturbating and left me alone or walked in on me while I was asleep. Never talked to them about it so I don't know what they really think. It's been like 10 years later and till this day I have no idea if they ever opened the door or not but I'm at least 97% sure they at least heard it, it was that loud.
I was 18. It was after church n her mom walked in on her riding my dick. As blunt as I said it thats exactly how it happened. Her dad was sleep n boy did I think he was gonna kill me. But nah they liked me so they gave me a ride home but told me I cant c their daughter anymore.
Update: My father informed me that she told him. Twice. He knows what was really going on because I know he's more understanding than her and I was like welp, better tell him what he's about to hear all about before she goes off about it. But apparently she thinks I was just, in his words, "spanking the monkey," and I don't know which is worse in terms of embarrassment. Dammit, I had such a great not-caught streak going up to this point too.
Oh no, I'm so worried that my perfect streak will come to an end someday. In a few days I'll be moving into an apartment with 3 other guys, so I'll have to work out the logistics of optimal fapping time slots yet again.
Oh no, I'm so worried that my perfect streak will come to an end someday. In a few days I'll be moving into an apartment with 3 other guys, so I'll have to work out the logistics of optimal fapping time slots yet again.
I feel like my real rookie mistake was not just locking the door. Like, yeah it's super suspicious, but at least you have that slight saftey net of plausible deniability.
I believe in your ability to jerk it undetected while living with 3 other people. You got this.
That Rimjob bannister thread had me unsuccessfully trying to hide my laughter as my family sleeps. First time seeing it. Tears, holy shit.
As for my story:
Back when I was still living at home with mom and two younger siblings, I was playing StripCalibur (remove an article of clothing for every loss in SoulCalibur) with my then girlfriend (currently my wife) and by the time we were both down to just our underoos, we started getting grabby and kissy. So here we are making out and feeling each other up when my sister walks in. I was using a particularly airy Afghan blanket with lots of larger holes in it.
She says "What you guys doing?" in a very knowing but disappointed tone.
"We're trying to take a nap."
"No you're not..."
"Just get out already!"
"Ugh!" *slams door*
Later as we leave the room and try casually hanging out with the fam, my sis is still in a huffy-puff and accusatory and we keep playfully denying (we're all laughing) and she says "I saw she had no shirt on, the blanket has holes in it." At this point we just cracked up and that was that.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen on TV was the frantic channel switch when someone gets busted jacking it to porn. It ended up landing on a nature show where some animal was getting eaten alive. They still got caught and it was wayyy worse.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen on TV was the frantic channel switch when someone gets busted jacking it to porn. It ended up landing on a nature show where some animal was getting eaten alive. They still got caught and it was wayyy worse.
Haha... The worst one for me was a total accident on my part.
I was about 8 or 9 when this movie came out. xXx starring Vin Diesel. My older sister and I saw the commercials and were excited to find out more about it, so we both scrunched up into the same little director's chair in front of the computer in the corner of our room to look it up on the internet. But we were innocent and naive, and figured the website would be XXX .com.
Obviously, that produced some unexpected results, and we freaked. My sister jumped out of the chair in a panic, and I also attempted to get up. Unfortunately I had bad knees as a kid, so the moment I tried to move my right knee locked up and I was frozen in great pain. My sister's panic tripled, as she didn't know if she should get my parents' help with several naked women on the screen and me crying in agony. I tried once again to get up and limp away from the incriminating screen, but just the thought of applying pressure in the general vicinity of my leg made me scream as if I was dying, causing my sister to scream as if I was dying.
My parents were startled by all this, and came rushing to see what was wrong. I can only imagine how absurd the situation looked. My sister blabbered semi-coherently about what was happening, and throughout my cries of pain I think the least I could muster was a pitiful "MY LEG". Thankfully that was all my dad needed to know. He walked over, briefly looked at the screen and chuckled incredulously, then picked me up in the chair, placed me in the middle of the room, and yanked my leg back into place. Once that was taken care of my sister and I calmed down a bit (I was still crying because my leg still hurt like a bitch) we explained we were just trying to find out about the Vin Diesel movie and didn't expect porn to show up. My mom laughed before explaining what XXX usually means and then lightly scolding us because we weren't old enough to see that movie anyways.
Previously we had all gone to see Rush Hour 2 in theaters, which my mom didn't realize would be so "raunchy," so she walked my sister and I out while my dad and older brother stayed. We went to go see The Princess Diaries instead. Since then she was a bit more strict about movie ratings.
So yeah, that was embarassing. And painful.
oh yeah, there was also that time I was eating my gf at the time out on a seemingly deserted trail when some bikers rode past. to be young and stupid....
While i lived with my parents in a small home I had to endure for years that they would use part of the wardrobe in my bedroom to store common stuff from the home, which gave them a fucking free pass to open my door without questioning at any moment. "Private stuff" had to be done when nobody was at home and measuring the time I had. Be it jerking off, body pictures, crossdressing (it's a long story), skype... Because they never fucking understood that a conversation needs privacy and that you can talk to other people at a computer, so they would stay there watching at the spectacle of discussing the tactics on an online game.
I lived without privacy until the moment I got so tired that I said "You either start knocking on the door or I'm putting a lock". So the fight started about "I'm my home I decide and there will be no locks".
Months later I packed. Years later, I still haven't been able to relax and I am still on edge thinking somebody could open a door at anytime despite being alone. I don't even walk naked around my place. Heck, I still hide all the kinky stuff despite not getting many visits. I could be like Barry and have a porn collection on display, but it's like my parents conditioned me to think there's no privacy. it's like living thinking the Kool-Aid man is real and will burst at any time.
While i lived with my parents in a small home I had to endure for years that they would use part of the wardrobe in my bedroom to store common stuff from the home, which gave them a fucking free pass to open my door without questioning at any moment. "Private stuff" had to be done when nobody was at home and measuring the time I had. Be it jerking off, body pictures, crossdressing (it's a long story), skype... Because they never fucking understood that a conversation needs privacy and that you can talk to other people at a computer, so they would stay there watching at the spectacle of discussing the tactics on an online game.
I lived without privacy until the moment I got so tired that I said "You either start knocking on the door or I'm putting a lock". So the fight started about "I'm my home I decide and there will be no locks".
Months later I packed. Years later, I still haven't been able to relax and I am still on edge thinking somebody could open a door at anytime despite being alone. I don't even walk naked around my place. Heck, I still hide all the kinky stuff despite not getting many visits. I could be like Barry and have a porn collection on display, but it's like my parents conditioned me to think there's no privacy. it's like living thinking the Kool-Aid man is real and will burst at any time.
One of my friends had his gf's little brother walk in while they were 69ing.
The brother was like 13. He walked right in, and he locked eyes with my friend, who was face deep in his sister. Held for a moment. The brother slowly retreated.
Such a classic story. The image of the locking eyes while his face was right in there. Think he was reaching around too. So good.
Was like 16 at the time and the family computer was in a big computer cabinet in the living right by the steps that led to the second floor. It was a summer day so I didn't have school, step mom was at work and dad was asleep in their room because he worked nights. I decided I needed to get some 'relief' and pulled up 4chan and went to fucking work on myself.
As I was finishing I heard my dad step out onto the landing, I never even heard him come out of the bedroom, he asked me a question as I heard him walking towards the steps. Thankfully the cabinet has large doors when open so he couldn't actually see me at the computer. Achieving lightspeed I wipe my jizz on the fucking carpet and thankfully was wearing shorts with a flap front so I easily hid my dick away and clicked off the porn and got up and closed everything. He got the paper from outside, the living room door is directly in front of the computer, turned around and asked why the carpet looked wet.
I had my door unlocked, and ever so slightly ajar to the point I thought it was closed.
I was hunched over my laptop after taking a shower playing World of Warcraft naked.
My flat mate had a bunch of her friends come over for coffee after a seminar, and she knocked on my door to see if I'd like to join, making the door fly open. Everyone sees me there naked hunched over my laptop.
It was completely innocent, I had just got out the shower, and I was running a dungeon, but of course, everyone thought I was wanking.
I had my door unlocked, and ever so slightly ajar to the point I thought it was closed.
I was hunched over my laptop after taking a shower playing World of Warcraft naked.
My flat mate had a bunch of her friends come over for coffee after a seminar, and she knocked on my door to see if I'd like to join, making the door fly open. Everyone sees me there naked hunched over my laptop.
It was completely innocent, I had just got out the shower, and I was running a dungeon, but of course, everyone thought I was wanking.
Was like 16 at the time and the family computer was in a big computer cabinet in the living right by the steps that led to the second floor. It was a summer day so I didn't have school, step mom was at work and dad was asleep in their room because he worked nights. I decided I needed to get some 'relief' and pulled up 4chan and went to fucking work on myself.
As I was finishing I heard my dad step out onto the landing, I never even heard him come out of the bedroom, he asked me a question as I heard him walking towards the steps. Thankfully the cabinet has large doors when open so he couldn't actually see me at the computer. Achieving lightspeed I wipe my jizz on the fucking carpet and thankfully was wearing shorts with a flap front so I easily hid my dick away and clicked off the porn and got up and closed everything. He got the paper from outside, the living room door is directly in front of the computer, turned around and asked why the carpet looked wet.
A friend of mine once opened his laptop at work in the morning and the porn video he watched the evening before automatically picked up where he left it, with the sound on.
This still happens sometimes to me when I look at a video on my phone but I forgot to turn the sound off before pressing play. Luckily it hasn't put me in awkward situations yet.