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[DrBo42]

Maybe in Brenth Smith's alternate reality that will work but I don't think it works in our reality. People don't really come to you.

My first super hot girlfriend came to me out of nowhere. Hasn't been one like her since, do not be passive. Ever.

 

[NateDrake]

So, I'm back again with some good news this time So, literally the afternoon after my date (that resulted in there not being a 2nd date) another girl on OkCupid responded to my message. We chatted back and forth for a few hours, and a bunch today. She then gave me her # so that we could text. Here's one of her last messages

"Yeahhh living at home is probably always quieter than living in a dorm lol. Well so far I like Springfield, although I'm only taking part time classes. But I enjoy them and I like the people that are in my classes That's great that you enjoy Hartford so much! You make it sound pretty great Also it's great to have people around who you can talk to forever about what you love to do lol. I like talking to you I'm going to get off here and get ready for bed, although it's tempting not to "

My response
"That's awesome that you like Springfield Yeah, [college name redacted] is pretty awesome. Yeah, I agree, it's nice to have that I really like talking to you too Nah, don't log off. Stay online a bit more "

Her response
"How about we compromise and I get off here, but give you my phone number so that we can text instead "

We then texted back and forth for over an hour

Very nice. Being from the general area, it's refreshing to see/hear a girl from Springfield that isn't a total snob/bitch. Take her to the basketball Hall of Fame or Six Flags New England!

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

it's refreshing to see/hear a girl from Springfield that isn't a total snob/bitch.

Why the misogyny here?

 

[subversus]

We then texted back and forth for over an hour

congrats, dude. Don't fuck it up now though. But if you do, don't sweat it, there are tons more on the website.

 

[NateDrake]

Why the misogyny here?

Because every girl I've known from that area either comes from money or thinks they are superior to everyone.

My good friend was engaged to a girl from Springfield and all her friends told her to leave him because his job wasn't what they deemed worthwhile and that he wasn't good enough for her -- they had been together for 7yrs at this point. Sure enough she left him because of them and she got to thinking she was too good for him. Her being an unemployed 29yr old who never held a job and lived off her parents.

 

[celebi23]

Very nice. Being from the general area, it's refreshing to see/hear a girl from Springfield that isn't a total snob/bitch. Take her to the basketball Hall of Fame or Six Flags New England!

congrats, dude. Don't fuck it up now though. But if you do, don't sweat it, there are tons more on the website.

Thanks guys. I actually live pretty close to Springfield but, didn't want to give away exactly where I live (hence the redacted college name). I've been to the Basketball Hall of Fame (the old one & the new one) and Six Flags. She said that she wants to see Spiderman & Dark Knight Rises so, we'll see Yeah I know. It's weird, we sent a total of 35 messages back & forth on OkCupid (and texted for over an hour) and for most of it, I was completely myself. I mean, there's the part at the beginning where your trying to "get" the other person but, after that, I don't know but for some reason, I was completely comfortable with talking to her. I know I'm rambling on (just watched the 3rd transformers movie on netflix even though she warned me not too ).

 

[NateDrake]

Thanks guys. I actually live pretty close to Springfield but, didn't want to give away exactly where I live (hence the redacted college name). I've been to the Basketball Hall of Fame (the old one & the new one) and Six Flags. She said that she wants to see Spiderman & Dark Knight Rises so, we'll see Yeah I know. It's weird, we sent a total of 35 messages back & forth on OkCupid (and texted for over an hour) and for most of it, I was completely myself. I mean, there's the part at the beginning where your trying to "get" the other person but, after that, I don't know but for some reason, I was completely comfortable with talking to her. I know I'm rambling on (just watched the 3rd transformers movie on netflix even though she warned me not too ).

That's key. If she feels the same way then your first meetup will be a breeze. All these texts and whatnot will serve as a preliminary first date and you can ease your way into the actual date with no worries or jitters.

One of the girls I talked/met on OKC gave me her full life story through texts one afternoon and our date was like we knew each other for weeks. She was incredibly comfortable with me and told me she never opened up to someone so quickly before.

 

[celebi23]

That's key. If she feels the same way then your first meetup will be a breeze. All these texts and whatnot will serve as a preliminary first date and you can ease your way into the actual date with no worries or jitters.

One of the girls I talked/met on OKC gave me her full life story through texts one afternoon and our date was like we knew each other for weeks. She was incredibly comfortable with me and told me she never opened up to someone so quickly before.

Yeah, we were talking back & forth about How I Met Your Mother. We had a deep discussion about the recent season finale I mentioned that my friends from school think I'm like Ted & she said she thought the same Yeah, I rarely feel this comfortable talking to a complete stranger. It's kinda weird I'm really looking forward talking to her again

 

[Jhoan]

I was telling my mom that I met with some random girl off the internet on friday, and that it went well. I tell her she's white and she smiles, but then she goes "are you sure you don't want to date a Mexican girl?" hahaha.

I suppose she's looking out for me, probably not wanting to see me get burn by dating outside my ethnic group.

Trying to make guys jealous is kind of dumb, but then again my exgf and other girls I knew when working retail did this. It does work, sometimes.

See it's funny, my mother says the opposite. She tells my oldest brother and I never to end up with a Dominican woman because they're stuck up (they are to a degree which is why I avoid them like the plague). She would rather see us with a white woman.

Aaaand, done: this coming Friday night.

She stayed over the next day and we just chilled on the couch (lazy sunday).

Well, I was at a restaurant for a mutual friend's birthday party, and she took the vacant seat next to me. We started some small chit-chat and I took the initiative to introduce myself first and we kept talking to each, mostly to each other for most of the night. There was also a little trivia challenge and we had some fun making complete guesses at that.

I saw her again at the bus stop, and we talked some more on the bus. Found out we both got on-campus jobs, and brought up a karaoke night for the same group of mutual friends. At the end of that day, I added her on Facebook, and the next day she messaged me about tagging along with her for an alcohol run for a karaoke night. I started having thoughts, but I thought, "why not?" After the run, she suddenly asked why not make a stop somewhere to eat for dinner for karaoke, and I simply oblige without a second thought. We took our time eating, then went that karaoke night. A few hours later, once both of us sobered up, she saids to its too late at night to wait for the bus to go home, so she asked me if she could walk back with me and crash at my place.

Spoiler

Guess what I said.

We made back to my place, we sat on the couch, and the next thing you know, she resting on my shoulder, holding me.

I have no idea what I've done, if I did anything. I guess she just likes me.

I see. She sat intentionally sat next to you in hopes that you would talk to her and which you did instead of being paralyzed with fear trying to think of something to say. You then had fun in each other's company flirting and whatnot and then found out that you're both working in the school.

She asked you to hang out with her before going to the event in question, you accepted, and did a little extra as well with her insisting. She was totally pulling out all the stops on you as she sent you some clear signals and you pretty much read them all. She made an excuse to want to stay with you so won't have to go home.

Spoiler

Did she say she wanted to "get her smokey on"with you? Full disclosure: as I type this, there's a Smokey the Bear ad that's making me laugh so I had to put the slogan in. Sweet Jesus! The new Smokey looks so creepy!

And then in true sitcom fashion, it ended with the chick wrapped around you in your in your bed.

She lead you on, you read her signals and went along with it, everything going in her favor and the rest was history. And then she spent the next day with on top of seeing her again on Friday. Well played. You don't really have to see what you did since you did everything subconsciously and things fell into place. You're definitely not a Captain Oblivious.

I remember reading in the "Cockblocking Yourself" thread about how this one Gaffer's date wanted him to come to her house, but he went to go take the train instead and shot himself in the foot for missing the hint. At least you don't get to add your story to the wall of shame that is that thread.

I'm surprised you don't try more often. Am I the only here who actually tries a lot but still fails?

Nah, I retired from it after that. You're definitely not the only one because it means you have a lot confidence to be able to talk to a woman so that consider that a good thing. Fortune favors the bold.

 

[subversus]

Yeah, we were talking back & forth about How I Met Your Mother. We had a deep discussion about the recent season finale I mentioned that my friends from school think I'm like Ted & she said she thought the same Yeah, I rarely feel this comfortable talking to a complete stranger. It's kinda weird I'm really looking forward talking to her again

it's not weird but it may be different when you'll meet IRL. I hope you'll break ice in the first few minutes if there is any.

 

[Minamu]

Brent Smith's alternate reality is awesome, there are lots of cookies here.

 

[Cubsfan23]

morgan freeman speaks the truth........you can no longer deny it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ojY6ZvciXg&feature=player_embedded#t=0s

 

[Minamu]

Link shared Even PUA gaf should be able to see similarities in the principles. The stuff works wonders.

 

[G-Bus]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

 

[Sarye]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

I gave this advice earlier for someone who said it too soon. Unless you are absolutely sure she feels the same way, wait for her to say it.

 

[hawkshockey11]

It's not fixable My brother has it too, and my father. Even my sister to a lesser extent. It stems from my father's mother's side.

The only thing that helps is medication, which I've been taking for over 10 years. It doesn't fix it, but it's the only reason I'm able to leave the house.

As I mentioned, I had a 6 year span where I didn't even ask a girl out. I didn't do shit during those 6 years relationship-wise. Didn't help.

My condition is only getting worse over time. Eventually it will kill me.

Do you know what this condition is? Is it a mental illness?

 

[FallingEdge]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

If it feels right to say it, then I say go for it. Not a fan of the wait for her approach. She could be feeling the same way as well and is waiting for you.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

morgan freeman speaks the truth........you can no longer deny it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ojY6ZvciXg&feature=player_embedded#t=0s

If I didn't actively try I wouldn't even have the few friends I do now. I've been meeting people for 22 years and the only ones that are now my friends are the ones I basically pursued, otherwise I'm just another forgotten face.

 

[greenry]

Yeah, we were talking back & forth about How I Met Your Mother. We had a deep discussion about the recent season finale I mentioned that my friends from school think I'm like Ted & she said she thought the same Yeah, I rarely feel this comfortable talking to a complete stranger. It's kinda weird I'm really looking forward talking to her again

Your next deep conversation should be face to face and not through text. If you over communicate through texts or online it can create an expectation that can't be met face to face. Next time you text her, do it to setup a date (of which you pick the details) and see if you have the same chemistry in person.

 

[sc101]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

i wouldn't just flat out say it, maybe more along the lines of "i think i love you" then gauge interest from her response.

 

[Tex117]

Just called Robin again. And... We're officially broken up now.

It basically went like this:
Her: why do you keep wasting time on me?
Me: I like you.
Her: but it's too complicated.
Me: how is it complicated?
Her: too far...
Me: the distance doesn't bother me.
Her: isn't it complicated for you?
Me: the only thing complicated is I have trouble reading you.
Her: so it's complicated...
Me: so you don't want to go out again??
Her: yeah...
Me: alright.

Quoted as an example of men and women think very differently.

 

[True Underdog]

Quoted as an example of men and women think very differently.

Sounds like the conversation between my last girlfriend and me. Holy shit.

 

[Sarye]

Quoted as an example of men and women think very differently.

I doubt the distance actually bothered her and was more of an excuse because she wasn't as interested. It sounds the same as "it's not you it's me" or "I'm not ready for a relationship right now"

 

[celebi23]

Your next deep conversation should be face to face and not through text. If you over communicate through texts or online it can create an expectation that can't be met face to face. Next time you text her, do it to setup a date (of which you pick the details) and see if you have the same chemistry in person.

I agree with you but, my only concern is that it might be too soon to meet in person. I mean, we've only been messaging/texting each other for 2 days.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

I agree with you but, my only concern is that it might be too soon to meet in person. I mean, we've only been messaging/texting each other for 2 days.

I've never done the online dating thing but I would think that if I hit it off as well as you two seem to have I would want to meet that person face to face as soon as possible. What have you got to lose?

Meatspace > cyberspace.

 

[G-Bus]

It's really hard to read her when it comes to this stuff. Part of me feels like she does because of some of the things she's said to me ( like her saying she's worried I'll leave her for new pussy because shes my first. She's said this a couple times now) but other times it feels like she's losing interest in me. I do over analyze things a lot and I'm working on that.

I know her well enough to the point where I do think she won't say it first and would wait me out. I do agree that I should just say how I feel. see how this week goes. Shit makes
Me nervous. Be fucking awkward if I say it and there's just silence.

 

[Kinitari]

I agree with you but, my only concern is that it might be too soon to meet in person. I mean, we've only been messaging/texting each other for 2 days.

Absolutely not too soon. Don't come off as creepy - but say something along the lines of "So I'm really digging you, and not to sound too forward, but I'd like to have some coffee with you"

Or whatever laid back and safe activity you can think of. Don't invite her over yet or anything, but it's perfectly legit to ask her out for some casual fun.

 

[clearacell]

*Hopes she doesn't read this*

For those that think it's so easy to approach a girl and just start talking...well, sometimes that can't happen.

I was really interested in this girl and my friend knew her. I'm usually very calm when discussing women with friends if I don't know the girl at all...but this one was different. From the instant I saw her I just felt like I had to get to know her. I talked to my friend about her, and I make the mistake of revealing too much of what I was thinking "Wow...she is just so beautiful, so hot". Welp, a couple of weeks after she was standing somewhere close by near to me and my friend and he's like "hey you wanna meet her?" I said sure...friend goes "hey *girl*, this is my friend clearacell, he thinks you're hot". Totally awkward intro, could not talk to her afterwards cause it was that bad.

But I had to pursue, right? Otherwise nothing happens. I try talking to her again...and we get into an argument about girls with daddy issues. We were actually AGREEING but it was getting heated with another guy so I'm pretty sure if I was going to try to talk to her my head would have been bitten off. So awkward.

I see her sitting alone messing on her phone. Perfect! I approach her, try to start up a conversation...and she gets a phone call. I'm like uhh, what do I do, so I just say bye and leave. What the hell?!?!

I see her alone while with a chick friend. I was gonna ditch the friend to talk to her, so after I asked her if it was okay for me to leave her to talk to the girl, my friend was like "Okay, but fair warning, I know some shit about her"....then she goes on to tell me this horror story about her. Of course after that I'm going to have that in mind, bugging the hell out of me if I tried to talk to her, so I didn't. (turns out the story was complete bullshit too)

I go on a morning run, and lo and behold, she is just standing out on a corner alone! I go up to her, start a conversation, and she just says she is waiting for a friend to pick her up. Wow :\ I figured time was too limited and I was already kind of smelly so what good would I have done. I said bye and continued on with my run.

All these times, nothing had worked. I'm not shy or nothing, but situations just kept coming up where it simply wasn't ideal to try to give off a good first impression. What did I end up doing? I randomly added her to facebook. I guess I thought maybe she could get to know me from afar first, cause certainly trying to find a way to talk to her face to face just wasn't happening. Even more randomly, I decided to message her on facebook...and uh, we pretty much haven't stopped chatting/videochatting since then. I've only had a chance to see her once in person, but hell, it's only been a week ...and frankly, it's been pretty much the most awesome week ever. She is so amazing, she is the girl version of me. I cannot believe a person like this exists. I don't know what's going to happen, but right now everything is great.

 

[stn]

So, advice...

Used to be really close with this girl. She's always given many signs but I hesitated due to numerous factors (I can give details if necessary). We've had a very up-and-down friendship. One day we're really close, then for whatever reason we don't speak for months. She'll always claim I never care to keep in touch, but when we actually meet she'll act as if she doesn't give two shits about anything.

Anyway, she'll be gone for a long time. The first time she said she was leaving I thought it was just a lie to get my attention. Turns out its true. I fear spilling my guts because part of our "relationship" has been an ego war.

Ideas? Thanks alot.

 

[waypoetic]

Been talking to this really cute girl on Skype (we "met" on a free datingsite) for about a week now. She lives in the same city, has a great sense of humour, looks really good, dresses nice aaand i'm thinking of asking her out this weekend.
I've been single for about 1½ year now. I've dated like three girls over that timespan but none of 'em was my type (well one of them actually just wanted sex... so not really a date-date per say) and i've been pretty bummed out the last 6-8 months over not having a girlfriend.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

So, advice...

Used to be really close with this girl. She's always given many signs but I hesitated due to numerous factors (I can give details if necessary). We've had a very up-and-down friendship. One day we're really close, then for whatever reason we don't speak for months. She'll always claim I never care to keep in touch, but when we actually meet she'll act as if she doesn't give two shits about anything.

Anyway, she'll be gone for a long time. The first time she said she was leaving I thought it was just a lie to get my attention. Turns out its true. I fear spilling my guts because part of our "relationship" has been an ego war.

Ideas? Thanks alot.

You won't get anywhere with this girl.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Story.

Well you can’t make a second first impression. That fucked up way in which your friend introduced you was (unfortunately) your first impression. And if you talked to her that many times (in person) and she liked you, she would have given you something to work with. It honestly sounds like she isn't interested and you’re getting into stalker territory by keep going at it like this. And before you say “but we’re talking on Facebook!” Well… That doesn’t really mean shit. If she isn’t acknowledging you in person she could just like the attention you’re giving her, OR your friend zoned. I’m not trying to rain on your parade I’m just telling you what’s likely* happening because I've had this situation before. On the off chance I’m wrong I hope y’all meet up for coffee or something and you can see where it really goes. Also your two friends are assholes.

I said sure...friend goes "hey *girl*, this is my friend clearacell, he thinks you're hot". Totally awkward intro, could not talk to her afterwards cause it was that bad.

You could have kept talking to her.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Well you can’t make a second first impression. That fucked up way in which your friend introduced you was (unfortunately) your first impression. And if you talked to her that many times (in person) and she liked you, she would have given you something to work with. It honestly sounds like she isn't interested and you’re getting into stalker territory by keep going at it like this. And before you say “but we’re talking on Facebook!” Well… That doesn’t really mean shit. If she isn’t acknowledging you in person she could just like the attention you’re giving her, OR your friend zoned. I’m not trying to rain or your parade I’m just telling you what’s likely* happening because I've had this situation before. On the off chance I’m wrong I hope y’all meet up for coffee or something and you can see where it really goes. Also your two friends are assholes.

First impressions really piss me off. I usually don't judge people until I get to know them but even then I believe they can change so I'm always open minded. I can't believe there are people out there that think just because they knew you 8 years ago in high school that you're still the same person.

 

[Baki]

I gave this advice earlier for someone who said it too soon. Unless you are absolutely sure she feels the same way, wait for her to say it.

Lolz, I said it too soon and she didn't say it back. So take it from me, take this guys advice.

On that note, where does it usually go from here.

 

[maquiladora]

yeah, DON'T DO IT.

I lost about a year this way in the university and 6 months when I tried it again in my adulthood.

Nobody comes to you, you should be active.

Eh, thats not always true. I've had several experiences with girls making the first move in expressing their interest. And I'm far from being anything special in terms of looks.

Maybe its rare but its certainly not true that nobody comes to you. Just as long as you mix in groups with enough girls.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

First impressions really piss me off. I usually don't judge people until I get to know them but even then I believe they can change so I'm always open minded. I can't believe there are people out there that think just because they knew you 8 years ago in high school that you're still the same person.

I don't know if you're projecting or talking about something specific. If it's the latter, why would you keep in contact with them if they won't respect who you are and that you've changed?

Eh, thats not always true. I've had several experiences with girls making the first move in expressing their interest.

I've had this happen too. But it's still not recommended to idly stand by and hope something works out. Nothing wrong with making your own magic happen.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

I don't know if you're projecting or talking about something specific. If it's the latter, why would you keep in contact with them if they won't respect who you are and that you've changed?

I've run into people like that in my life. Just kind of pisses me off that people can see others that way. Respect is something I don't get very often so it really doesn't matter either way.

Just a couple days ago someone I knew made a joke about me where it went something like "Who wins if (insert my name) and two other guys jump off a bridge...society wins". I guess that's how some people see me.

 

[FelixOrion]

Eh, thats not always true. I've had several experiences with girls making the first move in expressing their interest. And I'm far from being anything special in terms of looks.

Maybe its rare but its certainly not true that nobody comes to you. Just as long as you mix in groups with enough girls.

But I think the feeling is that girls approaching guys is such a rare occurrence or so infrequent, that giving the advice not to pursue/seek would be detrimental. It happens, certainly, but not enough to make it an advisable plan of action.

 

[Sarye]

Lolz, I said it too soon and she didn't say it back. So take it from me, take this guys advice.

On that note, where does it usually go from here.

Depends on the situation. What I think you should do is to never bring it up again. It's not like it's something she will forget. She will evaluate how she feels about you and when she's ready, she'll say it, or she'll realize she's not that into you.

Sorry to be blunt, but that's really all you can do.

I've run into people like that in my life. Just kind of pisses me off that people can see others that way. Respect is something I don't get very often so it really doesn't matter either way.

Just a couple days ago someone I knew made a joke about me where it went something like "Who wins if (insert my name) and two other guys jump off a bridge...society wins". I guess that's how some people see me.

I'm wondering whether you come off a certain way to people. I have NO idea why people are so hostile against you.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Just a couple days ago someone I knew made a joke about me where it went something like "Who wins if (insert my name) and two other guys jump off a bridge...society wins". I guess that's how some people see me.

Tell him to go fuck off and drop contact with him. People like that are just poison and he serves no (positive) use to you.

I've run into people like that in my life. Just kind of pisses me off that people can see others that way. Respect is something I don't get very often so it really doesn't matter either way.

Random questions. Do you speak softly when you talk with someone? Do you hold strong eye contact?

 

[Tex117]

I doubt the distance actually bothered her and was more of an excuse because she wasn't as interested. It sounds the same as "it's not you it's me" or "I'm not ready for a relationship right now"

Agreed, but why girls can't force it into their head that men would rather be leveled with instead of "spared feelings" is beyond me.

The vast majority of men Im willing to bet would much rather be...hey, the distance is too much and I don't feel that Im close to you. Or, look, Im just not that into you anymore.

Guys, can swallow that and move on.

The ambigious bs is what drives us all nuts.

 

[tbhysgb]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

I say if you feel it, say it. My girlfriend actually said it to me during one of our excursions last fall where we went on a little trip. I wanted to say it sooooo bad during the whole time, but held off. Then boom she comes out with it a little later during the trip.

I was in the same boat too, we were together about the same amount of time as you are now, and I lost my virginity with her. She told me if I would've said it when I wanted to she would've cried, good cry of course.

 

[Tansut]

I've been seeing my gf for about five and a half months. First month or so it was every weekend, and quickly turned into 4/5 nights a week after. She's my first gf and she took my virginity. She knows my history.

I think I'm in love. Last couple weeks I've felt like telling her but I'm too sacred to. Not sure how she feels. Never said it to anyone else other than my parents as it's not a word i toss around lightly.

Too soon GAF? Last thing I want to do is weird her out and screw things up. Friend of mine said to wait for her to say it first.

I told my ex, who was also my first in the same aspects, that I loved her about 3 1/2 months after we started dating. She said it right back. I felt it earlier than that, but there is such a thing as saying it too soon.

Should you go ahead and say it at this point? If it feels right to say it and you're okay with the possibility of her not saying it back, do it. If it doesn't and/or you're not, then don't.

 

[Sarye]

Agreed, but why girls can't force it into their head that men would rather be leveled with instead of "spared feelings" is beyond me.

The vast majority of men Im willing to bet would much rather be...hey, the distance is too much and I don't feel that Im close to you. Or, look, Im just not that into you anymore.

Guys, can swallow that and move on.

The ambigious bs is what drives us all nuts.

I agree. But it is not limited to women only. I think wanting to spare feelings is common. We all want people to be straightforward with us until we are put in the situation ourselves. It's harder to be blunt.

Another explanation can be that people really don't know what they want. So they could very well believe that they are not ready for a relationship until they come across a guy that makes them want to.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Random questions. Do you speak softly when you talk with someone? Do you hold strong eye contact?

Yes, I've been told I speak softly, I wish it was more masculine. Also why people tell me I have a calming voice. I don't know if my eye contact is strong...I make eye contact but don't always hold it. I'm working on that, I've gotten better lately.

 

[SlipperySlope]

The thing is I believe I know the main issue with Robin. I've been moving too fast. It wasn't just Saturday. I've been moving too fast since the start of the relationship. As a result things have been up and down since the beginning.

I'm going to let things simmer for a week. No texts, no calls. I haven't communicated to her since the breakup call.

Next Sunday I'll give her one last chance. I'll just call and say I'm going to an Angels game next week with a friend and I have an extra ticket and she's free to join.

If she agrees, fine, and I'll take things much slower. If not, then fine, it's over.


Edit - the reason for the date idea is it won't seem like a date. It'll seem more friendly. I want to make it as stress free as possible.

 

[t26]

.

 

[SlipperySlope]

Do you know what this condition is? Is it a mental illness?

Yeah, mental illness. Several, actually. Take a list of anxiety disorders, take out schizophrenia and perhaps PTSD, and I've pretty much got them all.

General anxiety disorder. Fear of heights. Fear of social places. OCD, agoraphobia, constant fear that I am dying, panic attacks.

If it wasn't for meds, i'd be having several panic attacks a day.

Edit - I can become extremely depressed. Might be bipolar. My ups are few though, and when I have an up it's usually relationship related. So unsure if bipolar.

 

[Tex117]

I agree. But it is not limited to women only. I think wanting to spare feelings is common. We all want people to be straightforward with us until we are put in the situation ourselves. It's harder to be blunt.

Another explanation can be that people really don't know what they want. So they could very well believe that they are not ready for a relationship until they come across a guy that makes them want to.

It is more difficult, but if you aren't the one into it, it is more merciful.

To say "i don't know", or "I'll think about it" or whatever...is not not fair. It not only leaves the dumpee being confused, it keeps them wondering what they did wrong...yada yada...and further and more nefariously it keeps the dumper on the dumpee's radar. Keeps the dumpee in the back pocket of the dumper.

It is cleaner and more honest to make a clean break. Go no contact. And move it on down the line.

 

[Tex117]

OK GAF I need support

I am going to be 29 in a month and haven't been on a date in about 4 years, before I started working full time. I shared many issues that people here have with girls. Now I am at the end of a 1 month internship. During the internship I met this girl. We have decent conversation from family to work (we go to different schools but study the same subject). Now her look is average at best but she has amazing personality. I am thinking of asking her out tomorrow. Reading between the lines I don't think she has a boyfriend. I figure if she said no I would only have to see her for 2 more days.

OH HELL YEAH. Dude, do it. No risk...lots of reward. You may eat sheet for like 2 days, but thats nothing.

You go put on a nice shirt, throw in a breath mint and go kick some ass.