What. That cannot be right, can it??? Where'd you read that?
I've read the same thing too. Just google "average number of sex partners".
What. That cannot be right, can it??? Where'd you read that?
Sure, but you're talking about what someone did in the past. What does that have to do with being compatible? What if she was different and didn't accept her old life, even? We've all done things we regret, but because in the past she did something then suddenly in the present you're incompatible?
What, precisely, is the concern, exactly? If she's clean and if you have the same understanding of the relationship going forward about exclusivity, etc, what are you concerned about?
That "concern" many men have is that they're judgmental pricks, and yeah many women are aware of the double standard society has.
You're a playboy Boco!
The average is only 4 (in a lifetime).
In the survey conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics on 6,237 adults between the ages of 20 to 59 from 1999 to 2002, it was found that 29% of men had 15 or more sexual partners, and 9% of women had sex with 15 or more men.
In the same survey, it’s reported that 46% of black men and 13% of black women had 15 or more sexual partners in their lifetime and 17% of men and 10% of women had 2 or more sexual partners in the previous year.
It’s also reported that 25% of women and 17% of men reported they had no more than one sexual partner in their entire life.
What is the double standard?
Men can fuck as many as they want and be cool, women fuck a couple of guys and they are sluts?
I don't believe in that, my issue is with promiscuity in general ...... I hold myself to the same standard as I would a potential mate.
"Double standard society has" ........... do men and women not make up society? ........ Not just men, many women would have an issue with promiscuity.
I understand the double standard exists in so much as many men do not apply the same standard to themselves as they do others, that is an issue with the individual ....... The fact that many individuals apply the same double standard speaks to it being a common trait among men in general.
As individuals we have the right to be judgemental when choosing who we enter into a relationship with, it is unfortunate that we do not sometimes meet the standards of others ..... whether it be looks, wealth, personality or lifestyle but we all have traits that others might find undesirable and are all victims of being judged.
What I do read from your posts is that you have issues with men, in so much as they are judgemental pricks.
If a woman rejects a man based upon his lifestyle, looks or wealth are they too "judgemental pricks"?
Because in that case we are all judgemental pricks, for having differing tastes, standards and expectations.
I've read the same thing too. Just google "average number of sex partners".
If she cheated on you, admitted it but ultimately said she still loves you, would you be fine with it?
According to this the median for men is 7, and the average for women is 4.
According to this the average is 9 for men, and 4 for women. That's the UK though.
About that... would like to bring the "love versus sex" issue back to the table. If she cheated on you, admitted it but ultimately said she still loves you, would you be fine with it? And would you ask her to stop looking for other partners?
"I have a wife?"How do you react?
20 years later? Doesn't seem to matter in terms of the relationship, but damn some of you guys have low standards.
"Meh, only 20." ONLY? That's... disgusting. This doesn't excuse guys either.
Gotta have your flavor of the month or something?
Keep 'em coming
According to this the median for men is 7, and the average for women is 4.
According to this the average is 9 for men, and 4 for women. That's the UK though.
And according to this:
I see you didn't answer what exactly the "concern" that you would have is.
Again, if she's clean and if you have the same understanding of the relationship going forward about exclusivity, etc, what are you concerned about?
One person will either get really distrustful and/or won't take the relationship serious anymore and/or the other person will cheat again and again.
Being fine with it will not work out most of the time. Relationships are normally based on trust. If this trust is broken, the relationship is broken as well.
That's what they said. Men probably say a higher number. Women probably say a lower number.
That's what she apparently said.
Seriously, it's disgusting. 20 years after the fact, probably still disgusting, but it's no longer relevant to their relationship.
yes! I love Okami. I kind of regret my name in a way, just because people do get the wrong idea. I don't smoke weed. I like my House avatar because its of him in rehab. He's trying to work on himself and improve sans his need for drugs. Shit is inspiring to me, but again some users get the impression I like getting high (not that there's anything wrong with that)Ahhhhh, that makes a lot of sense. I forgot that Issun called Waka that. Between the name and your avatar, I imagined being stoned in a room prophesizing (sp?) about the future.
truth. I'd be more than happy to switch places for a month, haha. Its hard letting people in, but once they are the connection ends up lasting a long time. I'm also pretty sensitive and things can cut me deep on an emotional level. Again, I somewhat envious of guys who put themselves out there and have thicker skin than me. We need to hang out and take notes.That's the thing, there isn't a right or wrong way of approaching women. There isn't a magic number or a magic amount of time. That's why I can't help but shake my head at the majority of posts in this thread.
We are similar in a way.
You wish you'd approach more women than you do, and I'm envious of guys like you who can develop a relationship beyond two weeks. You have a quality that I don't and I truly wish I knew what that quality is.
We're both romantics seeking that special someone.
How do you react?
That's a lot of dick.
And I see you did not respond to many of my points.
In terms of concerns someone might have about a potential partner with a promiscuous past, that I can think of from the top of my head are ...
1. Cleanliness
2. Fidelity
3. Serious personal issues.
You state as a disclaimer that the person has stated that they are clean (this can be proven but the fact that promiscuity makes it a concern, makes it a concern), this is something they can prove.
Fidelity is something you must take on their word and as they say, actions speak louder than words and if some has a history of jumping from one partner to the other then trusting them based on their words becomes a much bigger act of faith than someone who does not have the same past as a promiscuous person.
The fact that they have also been with a lot of people can also speak to that person having serious issues, lack of self esteem and self worth to the point that the reassurances, acceptance and love from a person can not be accepted / believed and they keep looking for it elsewhere, repeatedly.
Several of these big studies have median number for women between 4-8 partners before marriage and for men its 6-10. These aren't ancient studies either. I skipped over any study that took place before 2010.
If this thread is any indication, when they do this study 10 years from now, those numbers should be much higher. Unless GAF opinion is just a microcosm.
That's what they said. Men probably say a higher number. Women probably say a lower number.
GAF seems pretty good about letting people funk with their names. Though, instead of changing the name, I would PM a moderator to ask for a tag that says something like "This Prophet", with a link to a Youtube video of Waka. Something clarifying. If it didn't make so many people strangely uncomfortable to read my name (which amuses me), I would have asked for one that says "Rhymes with Socrates" or "The 'e' is long".yes! I love Okami. I kind of regret my name in a way, just because people do get the wrong idea. I don't smoke weed. I like my House avatar because its of him in rehab. He's trying to work on himself and improve sans his need for drugs. Shit is inspiring to me, but again some users get the impression I like getting high (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Ask her how many guys she's slept with since you were married. If she says more than one, divorce. If she says 1, well, she's a lying whore, but what can you do.
There are tests for 1. It's a legitimate concern, but you should probably be getting tested before new partners anyway. If she's clean there shouldn't be an issue.
What does fidelity have to do with anything at all? You're making a terrible judgmental assumption. Because she's slept with many guys absolutely does not mean she's cheated on anyone, or that she wouldn't be faithful. You're being awfully judgmental here.
And 3, again, you're being rather presumptuous and judgmental. Because she has slept with many guys doesn't mean she has personal issues. The fact that you've assumed things like number 2 and 3 might mean you have some personal issues.
Sure, they can prove it, and it has nothing to do with number of people. You can get an STD after one person. You should be getting tested anyway.
Someone could be more unfaithful and had only 2 or 3 partners. Number of partners doesn't have anything to do with faithfulness.
lol, that's quite a bit of assumptions about people. Because someone has had many sex partners it now means they don't accept or believe love and look elsewhere repeatedly? Who died and made you Dr. Phil? Seriously, it means absolutely nothing of the sort.
What does fidelity have to do with anything at all? You're making a terrible judgmental assumption. Because she's slept with many guys absolutely does not mean she's cheated on anyone, or that she wouldn't be faithful. You're being awfully judgmental here.
Someone could be more unfaithful and had only 2 or 3 partners. Number of partners doesn't have anything to do with faithfulness.
Sex is not that big of a deal between consenting adults who use protection. As long as my wife was safe before she was with me and isn't with anyone else while she's with me, I couldn't care less how many guys she slept with.
There's a counter at the base of her spine. You can see it in an X-ray. It's like an odometer. It's illegal to reset it so that you know what you're buying when you go to the wife dealership.How many thrusts?!
Fisting is like adding rally miles. You can get a discount if you know how to bargain.I see you have not addressed the 'stretched out' issue. That means it must be true.
20 years later? Doesn't seem to matter in terms of the relationship, but damn some of you guys have low standards.
"Meh, only 20." ONLY? That's... disgusting. This doesn't excuse guys either.
Gotta have your flavor of the month or something?
I don't think I'll ever have sex with that many women, that is a lot. I'm not sure what I'll think because I'm not in that situation but I've dated girls who slept with more men than I did with women and never bothered me. If anything I think it shows a healthy appetite, and let's be honest if we all could we would sleep with that many if not more.
Yet again you have failed to respond to the points raised in my previous post.
Also why are you attacking me? Are you not supposed to argue the point, not insult the poster?
I have stated that it is my own personal standard and that I do not inflict upon people who are of no concern to me.
My standards are based upon my own previous experiences.
That's a good point.
"Well, I'm a happy, healthy attractive person that likes to have fun and presumably I'm in my 20/30/s. I think I'll just pause and wait and decide not to have what I deem a good time with this person because someone told me that having sex with more than X people is dirty."
Said no one ever.
I'm not attacking you. I'm attacking your points. Your own personal standard is completely judgmental.
As for your previous post, the point you were trying to make is that it isn't at the society level, and that's fine, I accept that you've dropped that. Still, I think at the individual level you're making judgments about people that are kind of presumptuous, in my opinion. If I've still not answered what you were asking, feel free to ask again. That post and the point threaded from the previous one was kind of hard to follow.
Well I suppose that advances in medical science have changed that to some degree, but in the past and even still today a person who has had lots of sex with many partners is much more likely to have a STI / STD than someone that does not.
If not for condoms and antibiotics things would be a lot worse than they already are, STI / STD are on the rise.
I would also guess that the majority of promiscuous people are the ones less likely to practice safe sex.
Well I suppose that advances in medical science have changed that to some degree, but in the past and even still today a person who has had lots of sex with many partners is much more likely to have a STI / STD than someone that does not.
If not for condoms and antibiotics things would be a lot worse than they already are, STI / STD are on the rise.
I would also guess that the majority of promiscuous people are the ones less likely to practice safe sex.
Your last point is a bit of a reach. I'm promiscuous because I don't fear STDs because I am safe.
I would not say so.
The statistics would prove that point.
We are all judgemental, we judge things by appearances, wealth, intelligence, lifestyle choices.
We have all been judged and have all judged in return.
This is not gender specific.
In an attempt to make the question harder:
She or He has slept with over 20 guys, and has when pressed admitted to you not being best in bed.
How do you feel now?
In an attempt to make the question harder:
She or He has slept with over 20 guys, and has when pressed admitted to you not being best in bed.
How do you feel now?
You can't say "I guess" then say "statistics would prove."
I mean, I guess you can, but still. It suggests a correlation. And there are STI/D's that protection doesn't stop.
In an attempt to make the question harder:
She or He has slept with over 20 guys, and has when pressed admitted to you not being best in bed.
How do you feel now?
I'd venture otherwise. People are smarter than they were a few decades ago. Pretty much every gal I knew in college that was down for a one-nighter carried a condom or two with them.
Are they more likely? Yeah. But you get tested. And if you're OK with taking the risk, then that's on you (so to speak). I absolutely think that STD's suck (heh), but practice safe sex and know the risk is all.
Edit: ^^ My man...or woman. Well said.
I know quite a few people who are by most people's definitions "promiscuous," since they're polyamorous. They're also faaaaaaar more educated and safe than most of the other people I know.