ColonelColon
Member
Wow dude you sound so bitter. I'm sure you're a super nice guy that girls unfairly won't give a chance.)
Funny that you go straight to the virgin/sexually unsuccessful loser card as if that isn't sexist and hurtful to men.
Wow dude you sound so bitter. I'm sure you're a super nice guy that girls unfairly won't give a chance.)
Got it, virtually all guys are sexist assholes.
If your opinion of men is that low, you deserve every negative interaction with them you get.
that kind of attitude isn't gonna get you a girlfriend
I'm a guy and I've experienced my fair share of people's knees touching mine on airplanes and on subways. Who knows how much it really happens to her versus other people and how much she may be misinterpreting it.Of course I think it is always possible to misinterpret individual events, but given that she is talking about a pattern of behavior and her further explanation that when she doesn't give way that she has to deal with their attempts to push her legs, I don't see any real reason to question it.
Funny that you go straight to the virgin/sexually unsuccessful loser card as if that isn't sexist and hurtful to men.
What a load. "Microaggressions that women put up with all the time"? As if men/boys never have to deal with bullying, rude behavior, invasion of personal space and people touching them on the subway? Not exactly a well written piece that gives credence to the cause. I'm sure there are better articles on the internet than this.
I'm a guy and I've experienced my fair share of people's knees touching mine on airplanes and on subways. Who knows how much it really happens to her versus other people and how much she may be misinterpreting it.
I don't think that's the case, in all honesty.
Anyone who knows me can tell you this: I am one of the nicest people ever. I get walked on a lot simply because I am polite and generally pleasant. And yes, even though I am kind to everyone, I get objectified and harassed by assholes. Perhaps more so than girls who are incredibly rude. Because apparently being kind makes me an easy target. So no, she is not getting this because she is a jerk. Pau is a wonderful woman.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But being outwardly nice is not enough, though. If you are approaching interactions with people with an inner negativity or even fear or mistrust, that will have an effect. This is how negative views against entire groups of people can end up being like a self-fulfilling prophecy.. I'm not saying this is you.
Also, if you're talking about an impersonal level of harassment from people who are basically strangers, that's also something different. People shouldn't hold any responsibility for attracting that.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But being outwardly nice is not enough, though. If you are approaching interactions with people with an inner negativity or even fear or mistrust, that will have an effect. This is how negative views against entire groups of people can end up being like a self-fulfilling prophecy.. I'm not saying this is you.
Also, if you're talking about an impersonal level of harassment from people who are basically strangers, that's also something different. People shouldn't hold any responsibility for attracting that.
Um no that's not how it works actually. Most women I know have been sexually harassed in one form or another. And in public we tend to let shit slide because we're trying to get somewhere or not be seen as the uptight bitch. At some point the scales tip though and we get told we're "just imagining it" or "full of shit" or "well I don't see it happening so it must not" from men around us or that we have discussions with. It seems that many men think well I don't do this and neither do the men I know so she's probably exaggerating or misunderstanding.
But this is why it's so difficult to get men to understand and sympathize. Many do not want to own up to either some men being that shitty or the fact that not everything is in their purview. There is a whole set of instances they will simply not experience or understand. Instead of maybe trying to listen, a defense mechanism shows up that women must simply be lying. This is why victims of all kinds of sexual harassment don't speak up. Because they're vicitimized all over again with doubts, attacks on their character and their obvious failure to prevent it via their clothes, walk, attitude.
It would be nice to have a discussion about this without the need to shout down the women just trying to be honest and not accusatory.
I want to believe that zero percent are, but that's obviously not the case. Or do you honestly expect me to give you a concrete number? And no, when first meeting people (both men and women) I don't assume they're assholes or sexist until they prove otherwise. I just think it's dumb to think that only certain types of people, like jocks, can be assholes or sexist. It's so very high school.So what percentage of men do you think are sexist assholes?
My point was that what you put out there tends to come back to you. Your preconceptions and negative opinions of people will be reinforced. Same with positive ones.
He seemed to be lamenting girls not going for nice guys so yeah, that's what I went for. I don't take kindly to people saying that I or any other women deserve negative interaction we get from guys because saying that all types of people can be sexist makes nerds uncomfortable.Funny that you go straight to the virgin/sexually unsuccessful loser card as if that isn't sexist and hurtful to men.
Or we're told that we must think all men are sexist assholes and thus deserve it!But this is why it's so difficult to get men to understand and sympathize. Many do not want to own up to either some men being that shitty or the fact that not everything is in their purview. There is a whole set of instances they will simply not experience or understand. Instead of maybe trying to listen, a defense mechanism shows up that women must simply be lying. This is why victims of all kinds of sexual harassment don't speak up. Because they're vicitimized all over again with doubts, attacks on their character and their obvious failure to prevent it via their clothes, walk, attitude.
It would be nice to have a discussion about this without the need to shout down the women just trying to be honest and not accusatory.
Heh, sounds familiar."For those men we were just legs, breasts and pretty faces."
Unfortunately age doesn't have much to do with it. I've seen many people well over the age of 17 who still treat women like junk. Funnily enough, they're also the type of people to say "what are you gay?!" if you try to question them."I fear that many boys of my age fundamentally don't respect women."
Or we're told that we must think all men are sexist assholes and thus deserve it!
I want to believe that zero percent are, but that's obviously not the case. Or do you honestly expect me to give you a concrete number? And no, when first meeting people (both men and women) I don't assume they're assholes or sexist until they prove otherwise. I just think it's dumb to think that only certain types of people, like jocks, can be assholes or sexist. It's so very high school.
It wasn't accurate in high school either. That's just where the (incorrect) perception develops.Well, high school is the context of this thread, that's why I made that comment in the first place.
This defensiveness pops up every time a social issue is raised. I don't get it. Nobody is saying "all men are sexist assholes" or "all white people are responsible for racism", and yet that's somehow the way some people are taking it.
It wasn't accurate in high school either. That's just where the (incorrect) perception develops.
Who tells these girls who to "pick"? What do you see in the power plays between alpha males and nerds or simply non-arrogant, non-sporting males? This is the kind of complex, deeply interwoven problem that surrounds these issues.
It wasn't accurate in high school either. That's just where the (incorrect) perception develops.
I'm a guy and I've experienced my fair share of people's knees touching mine on airplanes and on subways. Who knows how much it really happens to her versus other people and how much she may be misinterpreting it.
I can't really help the wide leg stance. I've got long legs (I'm 6'3") and I'm very much aware of how much space I take up. At this point the only time I sit down on a bus or on a train is if I'm exceptionally tired. Most of the time I wind up skulking in some corner. It does bother me that there's the potential I'm being viewed as an aggressive, domineering man because of how I sit. Sometimes it feels like I can't do anything right by these people.
Point being, most tall/bigger guys are fully aware of how much space they take up in public. They have to be lest they bump their head, bump somebody else, or just generally inconvenience other people. Getting pissy for someone "lavaballing" is pretty damn petty.
Well, I think most women can tell whether it's intentional or not (but I suppose some of us do get paranoid). When it's not intentional the person usually apologizes or stops and goes back to their personal space but there have been times like she describes that are intentional. There was one guy that sat across from me on the bus and then put his feet up on the chair next to me. When I ignored his gesture he started moving his feet around closer to me (like he wanted to kick my face; he was around 18). There was another time the old man was sitting across from me and stretched his legs out to almost touch my legs. He then began touching my legs with his feet and I glared two holes in his eye sockets and he stopped but I try not to get in a fight with anyone on the bus.
I can say for certain that most women know when it's intentional. Though these things don't occur daily for me (maybe because I'm a recluse) they do have an impact. I don't have this distrust towards all men because of a couple of jerks but it does make me cautious when I go outside.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PBeNfSoMqjY
Onto a different subject, I think the reason why feminism receives a ton of hate is because of the objectification argument. For one, it isn't a gender exclusive thing, and it's not really an issue. Especially considering its in reference to random guys gawking which lets be real, girls do as much gawking as guys do.
I would love to live in this fantasy world of yours, instead of our actual world where every statistic usually goes 10 to 1 against women. Please read books and statistics, or open a magazine to see faceless naked women trying to sell the idea of what beauty is supposed to be. Hopefully our daughters won't want to starve themselves or cut their bodies open, because they will see how their worth is being measured by one thing only: their body. Maybe then, you will realize its an issue.
People like you are the reason why rape and sexual assault are diminished even though half of the world population are treated as sub-humans when a random male wants a power trip or to blow a load.
I was a jock and a nerd. There were sexists in both crowds. The jocks were rowdy sexist assholes and the nerds were passive aggressive sexist assholes. Take your pick it was all shit. I just distanced myself from those individuals.