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Asian-GAF: We're all the same, like Stormtroopers |OT| |AT|
- Thread starter Cybit
- Start date
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
CapNBritain
Member
I think there is a food spreadsheet in this thread that can help you but I can't find it. I went to NBC Seafood in Alhambra for dim sum yesterday, which is pretty good. There are tons of great sushi places in LA. I recommend Taiko in Brentwood for a great cheap little deluxe combo with some sashimi and uni or Kazu Nori in Westwood/DTLA for handrolls. There are a million KBBQ places in Koreatown but my favorite is Park's BBQ, which is not all you can eat and is pricey, but worth it IMO.
My wife had two more pics from our Taiwan trip that I wanted to share.
Milk tea from the chain that started the boba craze. Boba was solid but I was more impressed with the tea. Rich tea flavor that definitely hit the spot.
Duck blood soup!
I think it's also important to note and remember that it wasn't that long ago that Chinese people were also on the other side of that type of law with the Chinese Exclusion Act, which had a huge impact on what shaped racism and stereotypes that Asian experience today.
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
" he will not divide us"?
And yeah. America is sure going down a strange and scary path right now >__<
Lone_Prodigy
Member
On SNL last week they had Trump and Pence, with the former saying to the latter: "You're the reason I'll never be impeached."
So true.
Thelonelykoopa
Member
Happy Lunar New Year!!!
I really should stop having CNN on while I study. Their acceptance and rationalizing of Trump's policies and bigotry is really pissing me off ; It gives me such a massive headache and my best friend is off on a study abroad in Spain(Left for Toledo a week before Trumps inaguration;so lucky!!) so I can't even bitch about it with him /sigh.
I really should stop having CNN on while I study. Their acceptance and rationalizing of Trump's policies and bigotry is really pissing me off ; It gives me such a massive headache and my best friend is off on a study abroad in Spain(Left for Toledo a week before Trumps inaguration;so lucky!!) so I can't even bitch about it with him /sigh.
BLOODED_hands
Member
Oh god..... That stupid "Cash Me Ousside" has been stuck in my head for the past few days.
When you fail to grab the check and your relatives pay for your dinner
When you fail to grab the check and your relatives pay for your dinner
ActStriker
Member
Apparently you can pick the ACLU as your charity on AmazonSmile?
BLOODED_hands
Member
I made that thread about a kickstart to GOOK by Justin Chon and it appears the film has won the Audience award at the Sundance Film Festival.
I'm quite interested to see this film.
I'm not too sure about Bad Rap though. They haven't really given their fans too many updates besides what was talked about last time (where they are showing Bad Rap in the US).
I'm quite interested to see this film.
I'm not too sure about Bad Rap though. They haven't really given their fans too many updates besides what was talked about last time (where they are showing Bad Rap in the US).
Damn that film sounds dope, gives me a Do the Right Thing vibe to boot.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
God, I've eaten four Yusheng, or "Lo Hei", since new year already =_=
How many have you guys done?
How many have you guys done?
Cow Mengde
Banned
Hey bunny, fuck you. I did a bit of digging, and I realized this was where I heard the advice. It eventually made me realized I liked a girl I'm friends with way more than I thought. I never gave her a second thought, because I never thought she would be into me. Plus, I was afraid to get involved with a friend. Yeah, turns out she was also into me. Problem is, since she thought I would never be into her, she's also into some other guy from another country, and now she is trying to figure out her life. The main thing holding her back is stress from the holiday, and also life. Her life has been very stressful lately. Having choose between 2 men also isn't going to help. It's all your fault.
Seriously though, thanks. You helped me get my head out of my own ass. This isn't the optimal out come, but at least I know how she feels about me. I only wish I had listen to this advice sooner and got my head out of my ass sooner. I asked around for advice, and I had people tell me to be more aggressive, and also people telling me not to waste my time with her. Any advice you can give me in this regard? The fact that I am even in the running was a huge surprise to me.
Septimus Prime
Member
That is how I've failed so, so, so many times in the past. Everything will seem to be going well, and then she'll tell you about this new guy she's seeing. And then things will taper off. =(I don't know her, so I'm honestly not sure if I can give advice. (I don't understand the being into someone from another country... are you there with her IRL?) What I can say is that if it were me, all you'd have to do is to keep hanging out with me and going on datey events. I guess, basically just act like a couple (or at least treat her like a girlfriend). Do romantic things without making moves. Cook dinner together. Make her laugh (crucial). I mean, don't be too accommodating, or grovel-y. Be (or act) confident and self-secure, but don't talk over her or disregard her opinions. I wouldn't give in to everything, especially if you disagree, but voice your opposition politely and firmly. (At least, for me, it's kinda attractive when a guy knows what he wants and why, but manages to express this without acting like he's better than others.) As long as you don't make her too upset during these crucial moments, you'll probably end up with her because you're here and he's there. If she's stressed out, listen to her! Be a good listener. (Ask StMeph on how to be a good listener, I don't really know how. But he's great at it. Everyone's therapist.) If she connects to you emotionally and is also romantically interested in you, and you can make her laugh a lot, you'll probably have a good chance.
Which is, uh, kinda manipulative sounding maybe but I think that would work on me. (I sort of assumed you want advice on how to get her. If not, disregard)
Chaos2Frozen
Member
It means you're a reliable provider but not someone fun to hang out with.
Boyfriend - fun
Lover - sex
Husband - support
Septimus Prime
Member
To clarify, the part I strongly disagree with is that you should do all that while not making moves. 100% of the time, that led to her thinking I flat out wasn't interested, regardless whether or not I actually was.
Cow Mengde
Banned
TBH I have no idea how I helped but I'm glad you got some of it figured out
Well your message about not trying to look at flaws made me realize I was subconsciously making up excuses when in fact, I actually did like her.
I don't know her, so I'm honestly not sure if I can give advice. (I don't understand the being into someone from another country... are you there with her IRL?) What I can say is that if it were me, all you'd have to do is to keep hanging out with me and going on datey events. I guess, basically just act like a couple (or at least treat her like a girlfriend). Do romantic things without making moves. Cook dinner together. Make her laugh (crucial). I mean, don't be too accommodating, or grovel-y. Be (or act) confident and self-secure, but don't talk over her or disregard her opinions. I wouldn't give in to everything, especially if you disagree, but voice your opposition politely and firmly. (At least, for me, it's kinda attractive when a guy knows what he wants and why, but manages to express this without acting like he's better than others.) As long as you don't make her too upset during these crucial moments, you'll probably end up with her because you're here and he's there. If she's stressed out, listen to her! Be a good listener. (Ask StMeph on how to be a good listener, I don't really know how. But he's great at it. Everyone's therapist.) If she connects to you emotionally and is also romantically interested in you, and you can make her laugh a lot, you'll probably have a good chance.
Which is, uh, kinda manipulative sounding maybe but I think that would work on me. (I sort of assumed you want advice on how to get her. If not, disregard
She's got a crush on this guy for a while now. They met when he came to Guangzhou for a bit. I never gave it a second thought before because I wasn't interested in her before. Now I realized a little late cause she had considered me the more realistic choice, but since I never showed any interest in her beyond a friend, she never made her feelings towards me known. Meanwhile the guy she's crushing on did say he wants to come back, but how realistic this is is up in the air.
The part about it being manipulative had occurred to me. I was honestly surprised by your advice, but it's also in line with what I had in mind. My advantage over the other guy is that I'm here and available. We've been on plenty of date-y meetings before anyway, and we did bond emotionally. I've been listening to her problems and giving advice, and she's done the same for me.
Believe it or not, she's the 1 in a million I never thought I would find here. Culturally, she's all over the place. She's had boyfriends that were Chinese and Western, so she's at least had contact with other cultures, too. She can laugh at Whose Line jokes.
Oh she knows I'm interested. I couldn't have made it more clear to her. Her feelings towards me have also been made very clear. There's no need to double guess in this regard. That's why I am a little weary of how I would act if we do hang out again. I do want to be more aggressive, but she's also going through a bit in her life right now.
holy shit, this is me and my travelmate. we connected since we were both travelling malaysia, and similar culturally (hk/guangdong/cantonese speaking). though she said early on she wasn't into asian guys, instead prefer taller white dudes (and falling for frenchies most). but we've still been travelling for over a month on and off, most recently for a few days. she sounds like she likes me, saying stuff like she missed hanging out with me and asking me to visit her after she gets back to London, where she's from. on the other hand, i've written off building a relationship in my current state, so i was like, cool, whatevs yo, and having a familiar face out in a strange land is nice.
InsaneZero
Member
Don't worry, your not making an ass off yourself just yet.
Except for bring a 50pp person, you heretic.
Too much scrolling at 100pp!
Anyways, if my fellow Asians get shed some light on my situation, I'd greatly appreciated. I've already spoken to both my male & female friends about this but more insight never hurts.
Third date with a Chinese girl whom I have been seeing for about a month now. I've lost track of the number of girls I've gone out with since my last "serious" relationship 2 years or so ago but I've learned a lot about myself and who I am looking for to even begin a new relationship. So after the great first date, I knew she was someone I wanted to get serious with. Based on her stories and accounts, she has strong family values, very generous with the people she cares about and is incredibly considerate of others.
So in the past, I shared my feelings around the one month mark with success and even consulted some friends to see how they felt about me being forthcoming this early. We're both in our early 30s and thus everyone told me to just go ahead and I did.
She dropped by place to watch the SuperBowl. I gave her a quick tour of my place, we went out for dinner and then came back. Just before the game started, I shared my feelings and intent on wanting to make it official between us. She was taken aback and looked at me with a startled expression. I knew then it was too soon before she stammered out her reasons.
She liked me but due to falling quickly into her last relationships she wanted to take it slow. She said she gave too much too soon in her last relationship and that her ex didn't appreciate it. I told her that there was nothing that I could say to alleviate her fears because we just met and that I understood her position. She asked me what would happen if we were official and I just told her that I foresaw a long lasting relationship and that I was ready to see this through.
After 5 uncomfortable and awkward minutes, we started to watch the game. I cracked jokes, made her laugh and easily smoothed the awkwardness out of the air. We cuddled on the couch, she teased me, asked about our dream cars and even made vague plans for future activities. It was a fun night. She left before the game was done (it was getting late for her) but I texted when the game got close and she watched it til the end. Ended the night by exchanged celebratory texts and offered to buy some Pats gear. Great night overall, in my opinion.
But now what do I do? I've never been told that a person wanted to take it slow and apparently this could mean SO many things. I've been told by my female Asian friend that I should focus on her, stay the course and move at her pace. But I've also been told my buddy to start looking at other girls again just in case this falls through. However, both seems to be convinced that:
a) I did well by stating my intentions (no friend zone)
b) cool it with the texting and let her come to me with re-initiating contact and
c) she will likely come around because the rest of the date went well.
I think I agree with their assessments but I'm am so guilty of over analyzing.
Thanks for reading this long ass post.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's basically the equivalent of "you're like a brother to me". Safe, stable, dependable, but doesn't stoke the fires of passion.
You've already made your feelings known to her. Either she feels the same or she doesn't. There's an off chance she'll change her mind, but choosing you because you're close by and available is settling or being the backup.
If you meet up again, act normally but don't make any romantic advances. Don't go out of your way to impress her though, and don't wait for her.
I don't think there's anything you could've done differently. When she asked you what being "official" meant, you told her you were in it for the long haul (so you're not treating it as a fling). Having a "talk" in any budding relationship is important so you got that out of the way (I think she should've seen that coming). As long as she doesn't feel pressured into committing (and you don't pressure her), you should stay the course and see how things go.
I don't think you should see other girls right now, but if things don't change in about a month or so, start looking.
Thanks for the feedback! I got a text from her already (pic of her breakfast to celebrate last night's epic game) which I guess means no residual weirdness from yesterday.
I know not to pressure her and will not bring up the official talk again. The ball is in her court as far as I'm concerned.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
It also means you're only attractive at age 35.
Cow Mengde
Banned
I asked Dating Gaf and while I appreciate the feedback, it was too aggressive. The advice I have been getting is either aggressively negative, or aggressively positive. That's why I was so surprised by what Bunny said. It was close to how I want to approach this. My other female friends have really bad dating advice, and their "love life" makes me look like a pro.
Normally I am also the aggressively negative guy. I told her straight up that if I am just the backup, then I would be very pissed off at her and wouldn't even stay friends with her. I made it very clear and she understands.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
WOOOOOO only two more years to go!!
Well, I mean when they're 35 and want to settle down
Either that or they subscribe to the "Christmas cake" mentality lol
Well, I mean when they're 35 and want to settle down
Either that or they subscribe to the "Christmas cake" mentality lol
What's the Christmas cake mentality lol
To be honest though, I'd much prefer dating older women, but older women don't take me seriously for some reason. I have a bit of a baby face and can reasonably pass as 20-something.
Cow Mengde
Banned
High five, my fellow baby face!
White people curse me for my superior asian genes (yes, a guy was envious of me), and asian people are surprised by how young I look. I'm 34 and I can pass for 25.
Oh and for something less angsty.
I ended up going from being pissed off at my stove to helping people arrange a meeting with a bunch of European girls to try out new shoes. Only possible in Guangzhou. This happened a few weeks ago. My stove had trouble igniting, and I was pissed off. I was browsing reddit, and someone recommended a place called Pizza Factory. It was an authentic American style pizza where you can pick your own toppings. I decided fuck it, I want to get some pizza. I went to the restaurant and sure enough, I could smell the place. I was fidgeting over the menu cause I didn't know how to say the toppings in Chinese, when a staff approached me. I looked up, and it was a foreign staff. I quickly said "Hi" in English. The guy spoke back. Turns out he was from New Jersey, and he was the owner of the place. I chatted with him for a bit, and got his WeChat. While eating, I ended up chatting (on WeChat as well) with an engineer from North Carolina who came here with his girlfriend to chase their dream of designing a shoe. We hit it off, and met at Hooley's with his girlfriend. I recommended Vindictus to the guy. Turns out they've been having production troubles, and they had trouble finding Western girls to test out their new shoes. They did meet 1 Russian girl, but the place was pretty devoid of foreigners that night save for the couple. Just so happens I met 2 girls from Belgium who came to study Chinese. They also know other girls since they had multiple shoe sizes. I quickly got in contact with them, and arranged to have them test out the couple's new shoe. They ended up discovering a design flaw thanks to the test.
Best night of my life.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
What's the Christmas cake mentality lol
To be honest though, I'd much prefer dating older women, but older women don't take me seriously for some reason. I have a bit of a baby face and can reasonably pass as 20-something.
Nobody wants a Christmas cake after 25.
ActStriker
Member
I consider anybody who walk with their shoes inside homes to be savages.
Indoor slippers is acceptable though.
nah i don't agree with that even lol. how can you be human if you dont even touch the ground once in a while YOOOO. like when was the last time you dropped a cookie on the floor and ate it? that's humanity at its 100%
Yeah, just speaking in general about people who feel like they need to wear some sort of shoes indoors.
I'm not about that life. D:
Parents and grand parents are all about the indoor slipper life though. Can't argue against their wisdom so I say indoor slipper is acceptable.
When I was young and going to a friend's place, I almost always was offered a pair of indoor slipper haha
When I was young and going to a friend's place, I almost always was offered a pair of indoor slipper haha
Septimus Prime
Member
I wear slippers indoors. =(
Septimus Prime
Member
Quick aside, I really, really hate when people start a response with "Meh." It's so fucking rude and patronizing; you're straight up vocalizing that you don't care about someone else's opinion. I'm not going to start a thread for this because—obviously—most people will just respond with exactly what I'm complaining about, as that's the way of the Internet.
But, like this response:
But, like this response:
It's just so abrasive to me.
Pretty sure we still touch the ground in the bathroom and in the tub
thats where the indoor slippers actually come in.
I do think that indoor slippers are more so an Asian Asian thing, while barefoot is the South Asian thing.
I'm lazy af, so the less cleaning I need to do, the better. No shoes in the apartment means I don't need to sweep and mop as often.
I wear flip flops for the backyard, hallway, getting mail... or when I want to grab something from the corner bodega and don't care how I look. lol
I wear flip flops for the backyard, hallway, getting mail... or when I want to grab something from the corner bodega and don't care how I look. lol