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[Klyka]

Gonna meet with a girl I met via OKcupid some time next week.
She's American and is moving to Germany to a town about 30min from where I live.
I haven't really been there often but I know some places, so we're going to go exploring for our first date.

Wish me luck, I wouldn't mind some sex with a hot blonde American.

 

[low-G]

Don't take this the wrong way, but this sounds like your first relationship. 4 months, no sex, and you want to say you love her. There's a big difference between love and extreme fondness, and her inability to return affection is something you'll want to examine because it sounds very one sided from here.

I agree with this. I tend to mostly agree with those (other people) that say you're not really in love in a one-sided relationship.

I too am seeing a shy girl (but of course I'm dating multiple other girls), and things seem similar but my own feelings for the shy girl I'd describe as 'like' and nothing more right now.

This also reflects the way I felt (too much one-sided attachment) when I started dating at the very beginning.

When you're expressing that much more interest than the other person slow yourself down, you can push her limits but don't gush on her or feel so intently, because it's not helping you think rationally.

It's easy for lonely people to get attached and feel a lot of what they think is love just because they can be around a person, make out, or whatever. Not saying that is you (not you I'm replying to, the OP), but it sounds like it.

 

[G-Bus]

Not sure this is the right place to ask but here goes.

Been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks now. I asked her two weeks into it what she thought of "us" and where it's going because I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She told me she wasn't interested in anything serious and that we should just roll with it and see what happens.

Well, a month later and things keep getting better and better.

Thing is, she took my virginity. To put it bluntly, I didn't last very long. I told her straight up right after that I was a virgin (she didn't believe me when I first told her) and she took it pretty damn good. Told me it takes time and that we can practice when ever I want. Awesome! Well, we've done it quite a bit since and it hasn't really improved that much. Last week (Wednesday) after having a few beer we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. Best time of my life. Alcohol helps a lot I found out. She got her period right after and has cut me off since. Well, last night got some sexy time, but again, few minutes into it and I'm done. Went at it again this morning and same thing. I can tell shes getting frustrated but shows no signs of giving up on me. She's house sitting at her parents place all weekend and I'm going with her.

Think I'll resort to having a few beer on Friday just so I can give it to her like she deserves but I really don't want to have to rely on alcohol for this. Any advice?

 

[Combine]

Funny, that's how we feel about your negative attitude.

BURN.

Burn? Really now?

As for my negative attitude. Apologies for not being in the right frame of mind. Random depression attacks can do that. Your head feels like it's gonna explode during those times.

 

[mcrae]

Not sure this is the right place to ask but here goes.

Been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks now. I asked her two weeks into it what she thought of "us" and where it's going because I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She told me she wasn't interested in anything serious and that we should just roll with it and see what happens.

Well, a month later and things keep getting better and better.

Thing is, she took my virginity. To put it bluntly, I didn't last very long. I told her straight up right after that I was a virgin (she didn't believe me when I first told her) and she took it pretty damn good. Told me it takes time and that we can practice when ever I want. Awesome! Well, we've done it quite a bit since and it hasn't really improved that much. Last week (Wednesday) after having a few beer we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. Best time of my life. Alcohol helps a lot I found out. She got her period right after and has cut me off since. Well, last night got some sexy time, but again, few minutes into it and I'm done. Went at it again this morning and same thing. I can tell shes getting frustrated but shows no signs of giving up on me. She's house sitting at her parents place all weekend and I'm going with her.

Think I'll resort to having a few beer on Friday just so I can give it to her like she deserves but I really don't want to have to rely on alcohol for this. Any advice?

oralgel

alternatively, oral

Spoiler

thefirst is a joke, i dont want to know what would happen if you did this

 

[Dr_Boris_Goltz]

Hey guys I decided to ease up on my views on drinking, realizing that my siblings are not representative of the majority.

It'll be difficult but I think I can make it work.

 

[cdyhybrid]

Not sure this is the right place to ask but here goes.

Been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks now. I asked her two weeks into it what she thought of "us" and where it's going because I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She told me she wasn't interested in anything serious and that we should just roll with it and see what happens.

Well, a month later and things keep getting better and better.

Thing is, she took my virginity. To put it bluntly, I didn't last very long. I told her straight up right after that I was a virgin (she didn't believe me when I first told her) and she took it pretty damn good. Told me it takes time and that we can practice when ever I want. Awesome! Well, we've done it quite a bit since and it hasn't really improved that much. Last week (Wednesday) after having a few beer we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. Best time of my life. Alcohol helps a lot I found out. She got her period right after and has cut me off since. Well, last night got some sexy time, but again, few minutes into it and I'm done. Went at it again this morning and same thing. I can tell shes getting frustrated but shows no signs of giving up on me. She's house sitting at her parents place all weekend and I'm going with her.

Think I'll resort to having a few beer on Friday just so I can give it to her like she deserves but I really don't want to have to rely on alcohol for this. Any advice?

Think about GAF being down while doing the deed.

 

[lopaz]

Not sure this is the right place to ask but here goes.

Been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks now. I asked her two weeks into it what she thought of "us" and where it's going because I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She told me she wasn't interested in anything serious and that we should just roll with it and see what happens.

Well, a month later and things keep getting better and better.

Thing is, she took my virginity. To put it bluntly, I didn't last very long. I told her straight up right after that I was a virgin (she didn't believe me when I first told her) and she took it pretty damn good. Told me it takes time and that we can practice when ever I want. Awesome! Well, we've done it quite a bit since and it hasn't really improved that much. Last week (Wednesday) after having a few beer we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. Best time of my life. Alcohol helps a lot I found out. She got her period right after and has cut me off since. Well, last night got some sexy time, but again, few minutes into it and I'm done. Went at it again this morning and same thing. I can tell shes getting frustrated but shows no signs of giving up on me. She's house sitting at her parents place all weekend and I'm going with her.

Think I'll resort to having a few beer on Friday just so I can give it to her like she deserves but I really don't want to have to rely on alcohol for this. Any advice?

Kegel muscle exercises. Or, have a fap a few hours beforehand.

 

[DarkMage619]

Since then Ive felt like I want to tell her again and again how I feel and that I love her but have resisted the urge since I didnt want to make things awkward since she hasn't said it back yet.

I dropped it in our convo on facebook tonight because she has been really busy at work and hasnt been able to see me so I just said thats ok can't blame a guy for trying to see the girl he loves and even though this was the second time I said it she just replied back saying yeah I know.

So should I just hold off saying it untill she is ready to?

Be careful! It sounds like you are getting into a situation where you are more focused on how YOU feel instead of how SHE feels about you! You may love her more than life itself but keep your mouth SHUT.

If she isn't saying anything back it should tell you where she is. Take things slowly and let things develop naturally. You should SHOW your love rathering than gushing about how amazing she is. It just comes across as weak and it totally lacks challege.

The Dark One

 

[VASPER]

So i have a crush on a girl who works next door to me, I'm 99% sure she is interested in me because of the flirting and free drinks i have been receiving from her. So I'm more here to just hear from some Gaffers that i should just go over and get her number. Her and I have become somewhat friends and we go by each other first names, she also will stop what she's doing to help me with my food so i think i have gotten enough hints that something is up, What do you all think i should do?

 

[G-Bus]

Think about GAF being down while doing the deed.

haha, I've tried thinking about other stuff during and it doesn't help much at all.

Kegel muscle exercises. Or, have a fap a few hours beforehand.

Been reading a bit online and Kegels seem to come up quite a bit. I'll keep doing them. It says to work up to holding them for 10 seconds and I can already do that :\
I'll try the fap thing, not sure why I didn't think of that.

So i have a crush on a girl who works next door to me, I'm 99% sure she is interested in me because of the flirting and free drinks i have been receiving from her. So I'm more here to just hear from some Gaffers that i should just go over and get her number. Her and I have become somewhat friends and we go by each other first names, she also will stop what she's doing to help me with my food so i think i have gotten enough hints that something is up, What do you all think i should do?

Sounds pretty good to me. Just go for it. Over thinking things doesn't work... ever. Ask how her days going and lead into seeing if she wants to go for a drink sometime, or lunch, ice cream. What ever seems applicable.
If shes giving you free drinks ask when is your turn.

 

[Xun]

I work out regularly (well, as regularly as I can) and still do weight training, so I am getting the energy out. Though, it overwhelms me sometimes as it did yesterday. The problem with knowing I'm in total control over myself is that I know I've not made good choices and am unsure of any choices I make in the future, given such a horrendous track record.

Well, would you say I've made progress? I mean, you know me better than most. Has there been improvements. Even if I think there has been, that might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, especially when, I still have yet to make any social inroads after all these years.

Was that meant as a joke? I couldn't last 10 seconds just listening to the music.

You said you felt awkward at the GAF meetup, but the more you do it, the easier it'll become. So perhaps look into some classes or something?

Meetup.com has a lot to offer, and I myself plan on going to some.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Not sure this is the right place to ask but here goes.

Been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks now. I asked her two weeks into it what she thought of "us" and where it's going because I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She told me she wasn't interested in anything serious and that we should just roll with it and see what happens.

Well, a month later and things keep getting better and better.

Thing is, she took my virginity. To put it bluntly, I didn't last very long. I told her straight up right after that I was a virgin (she didn't believe me when I first told her) and she took it pretty damn good. Told me it takes time and that we can practice when ever I want. Awesome! Well, we've done it quite a bit since and it hasn't really improved that much. Last week (Wednesday) after having a few beer we went at it for a solid 30 minutes. Best time of my life. Alcohol helps a lot I found out. She got her period right after and has cut me off since. Well, last night got some sexy time, but again, few minutes into it and I'm done. Went at it again this morning and same thing. I can tell shes getting frustrated but shows no signs of giving up on me. She's house sitting at her parents place all weekend and I'm going with her.

Think I'll resort to having a few beer on Friday just so I can give it to her like she deserves but I really don't want to have to rely on alcohol for this. Any advice?

Take some conscious breathes, it slows down your heart rate. You cum when your heart rate gets crazy

do kegals. when you pee, start and stop your pee. It Improves your muscles down there, so when you get close, you can hold it off. Also, if you masturbate, practice lasting a long time.

Everything else, it's just in your head

 

[Jhoan]

Well guys, as of today, I'm a frat boy. I got voted in. All I had to do was let me be me and that's it. I duno what to expect but screw it. Got invited to play football on Saturday.

 

[pgtl_10]

Think back, have you done anything at all that could be misconstrued?

This is a reply to an old post. To be honest I don't if I did anything that could make women treat me coldly. There is this one woman who will practically avoid me even though I have no idea who she is.

Yesterday this one woman in my class gave me such a a cold look even though I never talked to her.

It's really bad when you have people who know you for a while do whatever it takes to avoid you.

What did I do to deserve this?

 

[Devolution]

This is a reply to an old post. To be honest I don't if I did anything that could make women treat me coldly. There is this one woman who will practically avoid me even though I have no idea who she is.

Yesterday this one woman in my class gave me such a a cold look even though I never talked to her.

It's really bad when you have people who know you for a while do whatever it takes to avoid you.

What did I do to deserve this?

You sure this isn't in your head then?

 

[pgtl_10]

Try again. Some girls have the retarded policy of not kissing on the first date. No sex on the first date? TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. No Kiss? come the fuck on, you are just scaring guys out.



You need to work on your conversation skills now! You need to make conversation by leaving cliffhangers and hooks. Tell a story. Tell us a story.


Too soon in my book. Unless you want to deal with potential epic drama.



Your friends' advice suck. You call her to ask her out, you don't send sms's


Call 2 times tomorrow. If she does not answer, drop it! And why the fuck are you not being able to answer your fucking phone? jeez

This is an old post but what does bolded part mean?

 

[pgtl_10]

You sure this isn't in your head then?

I wish it was but I can feel it. I wonder if it started from someone who I asked out that ultimately told others and it snowballed into everyone avoiding me.

 

[Devolution]

I wish it was but I can feel it. I wonder if it started from someone who I asked out that ultimately told others and it snowballed into everyone avoiding me.

Well what did you do to her or how did you ask?

 

[pgtl_10]

Well what did you do to her or how did you ask?

I I ever asked, I would ask someone if she like to go get some to drink. Other times I would ask someone to dinner or a movie.

What's worse I feel family hates me too. It's like I could sense they don't want me around. I wish somebody came out and flat out told me what their issues are.

I recently asked a co-worker if I ever did something or if something was wrong. she told me I did nothing wrong but went on being cold to me and trying to avoid me when we use talk all the time.

 

[Hylian7]

I asked the girl I met on OKC the other day if she was free to meet up for coffee, she was in class though. Should I ask her again for that or lunch tomorrow, or would that seem too desperate? She did say she wanted to meet up on campus sometime this week, even though we won't be able to have a real date until next week because she is busy during evenings this week.

 

[Atramental]

I guess this is a bit of vent with a question at the end of it to see if I hurt my reputation with my fellow classmates:

I don't think I handled myself well today... Or maybe I did because I didn't back down from my opinion.

I have a design class that's just me and 3 other girls. 1 of those girls is a bitch.

Anyways, we're doing a "silent film" PSA for our University's recycling program that's supposed to be really short (like 45 seconds) and she added way too much dialogue to the script. I was trying to explain to her that we shouldn't add a ton of dialogue because we have to have time for the title/text cards and the actor's movements. She was having none of it. Plus she was saying stuff like "This project is stupid! This project is fucking gay! We're design students not film students!" This girl is senior and she's graduating this year... hahaha, wow. How did she make it this far?

Anyways, I had enough of her bullshit so I gave her a quick death stare:

And flat out told her in a stern and slightly aggravated voice that if we over complicate this project it's going to be a huge fucking mess, take up too much of our damn time, and it'll make no fucking sense to the viewers.

"Fine! Whatever!", she retorted.

And then I noticed that the other two girls are looking a bit sheepish.

Oy... I feel like such a passive-agressive jerk...

I can just imagine her telling everyone she knows how much of an anti-social passive-agressive prick I am...

So, have I become the class psycho?

 

[manipulate]

You are way too self-conscious broseph, chillax yo

I also see red sometimes so I have sympathy for you though. Five minutes later I'm always like oh my god everyone must think I'm such a furious psycho

 

[Mr.City]

I guess this is a bit of vent with a question at the end of it to see if hurt my reputation with my fellow classmates:

I don't think I handled myself well today... Or maybe I did because I didn't back down from my opinion.

I have a design class that's just me and 3 other girls. 1 of those girls is a bitch.

Anyways, we're doing a "silent film" PSA for our University's recycling program that's supposed to be really short (like 45 seconds) and she added way too much dialogue to the script. I was trying to explain to her that we shouldn't add a ton of dialogue because we have to have time for the title/text cards and the actor's movements. She was having none of it. Plus she was saying stuff like "This project is stupid! This project is fucking gay! We're design students not film students!" This girl is senior and she's graduating this year... hahaha, wow. How did she make it this far?

Anyways, I had enough of her bullshit so I gave her a quick death stare:

And flat out told her in a stern and slightly aggravated voice that if we over complicate this project it's going to be a huge fucking mess, take up too much of our damn time, and it'll make no fucking sense to the viewers.

"Fine! Whatever!", she retorted.

And then I noticed that the other two girls are looking a bit sheepish.

Oy... I feel like such a passive-agressive jerk...

I can just imagine her telling everyone she knows how much of an anti-social passive-agressive prick I am...

So, have I become the class psycho?

I think that it's awesome that you had balls but sad that you had to worry about the approval of others. Standing up for yourself doesn't always make you popular.

 

[cashman]

I guess this is a bit of vent with a question at the end of it to see if hurt my reputation with my fellow classmates:

I don't think I handled myself well today... Or maybe I did because I didn't back down from my opinion.

I have a design class that's just me and 3 other girls. 1 of those girls is a bitch.

Anyways, we're doing a "silent film" PSA for our University's recycling program that's supposed to be really short (like 45 seconds) and she added way too much dialogue to the script. I was trying to explain to her that we shouldn't add a ton of dialogue because we have to have time for the title/text cards and the actor's movements. She was having none of it. Plus she was saying stuff like "This project is stupid! This project is fucking gay! We're design students not film students!" This girl is senior and she's graduating this year... hahaha, wow. How did she make it this far?

Anyways, I had enough of her bullshit so I gave her a quick death stare:

And flat out told her in a stern and slightly aggravated voice that if we over complicate this project it's going to be a huge fucking mess, take up too much of our damn time, and it'll make no fucking sense to the viewers.

"Fine! Whatever!", she retorted.

And then I noticed that the other two girls are looking a bit sheepish.

Oy... I feel like such a passive-agressive jerk...

I can just imagine her telling everyone she knows how much of an anti-social passive-agressive prick I am...

So, have I become the class psycho?

I see no passiveness in your response.

 

[Mully]

I need help!

It's not about my ex, but this girl I'm currently dating. The girl is spectacular. I was just on the phone with her for over 2 hours just sharing stories and talking. It was fantastic. She's a great kisser, beautiful, understanding, and down to Earth. We've been on two dates, plus 2 drunken nights at her apartment. I really like this girl, however, I'm really nervous at how fast this is going. I just got out of a 3 year relationship, I'm not over my ex, and I just want to be single at this point. I don't want to break her heart, and each time I'm with her I really enjoy being with her. Now that she's back at school I kinda miss her. I know we should take things really slow, but it's so difficult when I'm talking to her or with her.

It's getting to that point where things are starting to get really serious. We both know where this is going, and I can tell she's really into that. I'm still conflicted. She's great, but I don't know if I'm willing and ready to hop into another relationship.

BTW, I just learned of this great Gotye song called "Somebody I Used to Know."

 

[Atramental]

You are way too self-conscious broseph, chillax yo

I also see red sometimes so I have sympathy for you though. Five minutes later I'm always like oh my god everyone must think I'm such a furious psycho

Yep, that's exactly how I felt afterwards.

I'm usually so docile and calm.

I think that it's awesome that you had balls but sad that you had to worry about the approval of others. Standing up for yourself doesn't always make you popular.

You're right. I shouldn't worry about other people's approval.

Fuck the haters. I'll do what's right for me.

I see no passiveness in your response.

I guess I considered it "passive"-aggressive because I wasn't screaming obscenities and throwing chairs around. haha.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

You did right, dude.

The other two girls were just looking away cause that made them so damn horny.

 

[Devolution]

Atra you did nothing wrong dude. Get the other 2 more involved and don't let your shitty team mate run the show or them.

 

[Atramental]

You did right, dude.

The other two girls were just looking away cause that made them so damn horny.

Hahaha...

That's probably not so but it's fun to think about.

Atra you did nothing wrong dude. Get the other 2 more involved and don't let your shitty team mate run the show or them.

I plan on doing just that.

Can't let some loud mouth bully screw up my grade.

 

[Sanky Panky]

I need help!

It's not about my ex, but this girl I'm currently dating. The girl is spectacular. I was just on the phone with her for over 2 hours just sharing stories and talking. It was fantastic. She's a great kisser, beautiful, understanding, and down to Earth. We've been on two dates, plus 2 drunken nights at her apartment. I really like this girl, however, I'm really nervous at how fast this is going. I just got out of a 3 year relationship, I'm not over my ex, and I just want to be single at this point. I don't want to break her heart, and each time I'm with her I really enjoy being with her. Now that she's back at school I kinda miss her. I know we should take things really slow, but it's so difficult when I'm talking to her or with her.

It's getting to that point where things are starting to get really serious. We both know where this is going, and I can tell she's really into that. I'm still conflicted. She's great, but I don't know if I'm willing and ready to hop into another relationship.

BTW, I just learned of this great Gotye song called "Somebody I Used to Know."

I know the feel, but I was on the other side. Limit your contact so you two don't start doing the clingy couple relationship stuff, AND BE CLEAR ON YOUR INTENTIONS TO NOT BE EXCLUSIVE. If you lead her on, she'll be hurt in the end when you get cold feet about plunging back into a relationship.

Tell her you will be dating other girls, and encourage her to do so also. Don't be a selfish prick.

 

[manipulate]

Atramental being clear and decisive is good, swearing etc is bad!

Atra you did nothing wrong dude. Get the other 2 more involved and don't let your shitty team mate run the show or them.

Incidentally, how are you on like.. every thread on gaf? Not that I'm complaining or anything

 

[Mully]

I know the feel, but I was on the other side. Limit your contact so you two don't start doing the clingy couple relationship stuff, AND BE CLEAR ON YOUR INTENTIONS TO NOT BE EXCLUSIVE. If you lead her on, she'll be hurt in the end when you get cold feet about plunging back into a relationship.

Tell her you will be dating other girls, and encourage her to do so also. Don't be a selfish prick.

Got it.

Although, how should I state my intentions?

Something like this?

"Hey I really like you, but I feel really overwhelmed by this whole experience. You're amazing, but I'm just not ready to hop back into things. I feel completely torn about this situation, but I know if I continue with this we're both going to be hurt even more than how you and I feel right now."

 

[pgtl_10]

I I ever asked, I would ask someone if she like to go get some to drink. Other times I would ask someone to dinner or a movie.

What's worse I feel family hates me too. It's like I could sense they don't want me around. I wish somebody came out and flat out told me what their issues are.

I recently asked a co-worker if I ever did something or if something was wrong. she told me I did nothing wrong but went on being cold to me and trying to avoid me when we use talk all the time.

I would like to know if what I sense is real disgust at something I've done or imangined. I wonder if I give out a bad vibe.

 

[Devolution]

Incidentally, how are you on like.. every thread on gaf? Not that I'm complaining or anything

I'm just in a lot of them? Post randomly in between waiting for stuff to render and all that.

 

[Sanky Panky]

Got it.

Although, how should I state my intentions?

Something like this?

"Hey I really like you, but I feel really overwhelmed by this whole experience. You're amazing, but I'm just not ready to hop back into things. I feel completely torn about this situation, but I know if I continue with this we're both going to be hurt even more than how you and I feel right now."

Yeah you are on the right path, but again, as bad as it sounds, don't circle around the issue that you want to experience being single with freedom to date other girls. THAT will be the source of her getting hurt, and she needs to understand that.

You are taking a risk of losing her, but then again, you have to do what is right for you. Taking it slow means scaling back on your interactions.

 

[Mully]

Yeah you are on the right path, but again, as bad as it sounds, don't circle around the issue that you want to experience being single with freedom to date other girls. THAT will be the source of her getting hurt, and she needs to understand that.

You are taking a risk of losing her, but then again, you have to do what is right for you. Taking it slow means scaling back on your interactions.

I'm totally taking a risk at losing her. Also, I really haven't been the best at stating my intentions so far. I'm from the South Shore of Long Island (blue collar with a smidge of white collar) and she's from the North Shore of Long Island (super white collar). I showed her around my town then took her to this great Italian restaurant for lunch. It was a bit romantic, but lunch is cheap there and it's quiet during the day. She really liked it, and I know I really lead her on. That and both of our dates ended with us on a couch curled up to one another watching a movie. So basically, I've lead her on immensely by being ignorant to it all until I got off the phone with her this afternoon. As arrogant as it sounds, I'm just extremely nice. I do these things because they are nice and great for the other person, but obviously I lead her on and now I feel terrible.

 

[Hylian7]

I asked the girl I met on OKC the other day if she was free to meet up for coffee, she was in class though. Should I ask her again for that or lunch tomorrow, or would that seem too desperate? She did say she wanted to meet up on campus sometime this week, even though we won't be able to have a real date until next week because she is busy during evenings this week.

So uhhhhhh, this question kind of got lost in the shuffle....nudge nudge...

 

[Megidolaon]

Guys I need some advice. I guess I'll give the whole story.

So, I'm a 22 yr old female. About five months ago I see that my old friend from high school poked me on facebook. I send him a message saying hi and we started chatting and catching up since I hadn't seen him in several years. We make plans to meet up for coffee and chat.

Well, eventually we start chatting more on facebook and hanging out more often, just going out to eat and playing video games and stuff. I knew that he had romantic feelings for me back in high school (I had previously rejected him), but I didn't see the problem of just hanging out since he is a very nice person and a good friend and I thought the whole thing was behind us. But maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Now I told him in casual conversation pretty early on that I really wasn't looking to date, that I seriously doubt that I ever wanted to get married or be in a serious relationship with anyone really (I have trust issues and other personal issues which would make me a bad potential mate at this time), and I wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted a relationship. He seemed to accept this. I was very adamant about being uncertain of marriage and was at a point where I needed to figure myself out and be single. This was just casual conversation though, while we discussed our dating lives. He is the opposite, he wants to get married and find the love of his life. He seemed lonely and wants a relationship.

I thought it was pretty cemented that we were just platonic friends, until Valentine's Day when he sent me roses. I really didn't know what to think, and it was only a few weeks after my mom died (my dad died two weeks earlier) and I was in a bad spot in my life and chose to just ignore the whole thing. He was genuinely supportive of me during that time and I consider him a true friend. I had just lost both of my parents and he was very compassionate. But I never intended to lead him into thinking I wanted more. I wasn't trying to use him.

Well, yesterday he gave me a present. It turns out that he bought me a 3DS! Now I'm not sure what to think at all. I don't want to get into a situation where he thinks I'm taking advantage of him. I'm not sure if this gift means that he's expecting a more intimate relationship with me or if he thinks we're already in one! I mean, it's a pretty expensive gift. And I never asked him to buy it. I don't want to lead him on, but this just blindsided me and I feel guilty for it, even though I did want a 3DS. I don't know what to do and I don't want to hurt this person. But I really, really don't want to date him. I don't return his feelings. I just want to be single and have platonic friends and just focus on my life. I don't want the emotional entanglement of a relationship.

Is there anything I can do at this point where I don't become a bitch? I really never meant for this to happen. Are we still just friends?

 

[Devolution]

Give back the 3ds and explain to him in clear language that you won't ever date him.

 

[Boozeroony]

Guys I need some advice. I guess I'll give the whole story.

So, I'm a 22 yr old female. About five months ago I see that my old friend from high school poked me on facebook. I send him a message saying hi and we started chatting and catching up since I hadn't seen him in several years. We make plans to meet up for coffee and chat.

Well, eventually we start chatting more on facebook and hanging out more often, just going out to eat and playing video games and stuff. I knew that he had romantic feelings for me back in high school (I had previously rejected him), but I didn't see the problem of just hanging out since he is a very nice person and a good friend and I thought the whole thing was behind us. But maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Now I told him in casual conversation pretty early on that I really wasn't looking to date, that I seriously doubt that I ever wanted to get married or be in a serious relationship with anyone really (I have trust issues and other personal issues which would make me a bad potential mate at this time), and I wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted a relationship. He seemed to accept this. I was very adamant about being uncertain of marriage and was at a point where I needed to figure myself out and be single. This was just casual conversation though, while we discussed our dating lives. He is the opposite, he wants to get married and find the love of his life. He seemed lonely and wants a relationship.

I thought it was pretty cemented that we were just platonic friends, until Valentine's Day when he sent me roses. I really didn't know what to think, and it was only a few weeks after my mom died (my dad died two weeks earlier) and I was in a bad spot in my life and chose to just ignore the whole thing. He was genuinely supportive of me during that time and I consider him a true friend. I had just lost both of my parents and he was very compassionate. But I never intended to lead him into thinking I wanted more. I wasn't trying to use him.

Well, yesterday he gave me a present. It turns out that he bought me a 3DS! Now I'm not sure what to think at all. I don't want to get into a situation where he thinks I'm taking advantage of him. I'm not sure if this gift means that he's expecting a more intimate relationship with me or if he thinks we're already in one! I mean, it's a pretty expensive gift. And I never asked him to buy it. I don't want to lead him on, but this just blindsided me and I feel guilty for it, even though I did want a 3DS. I don't know what to do and I don't want to hurt this person. But I really, really don't want to date him. I don't return his feelings. I just want to be single and have platonic friends and just focus on my life. I don't want the emotional entanglement of a relationship.

Is there anything I can do at this point where I don't become a bitch? I really never meant for this to happen. Are we still just friends?

Whoa.

This is doomed to turn ugly. Just be straight and return the 3DS. Explain you don't want gifts from him, unless it's your birthday or something. Get that shit straight now.

 

[Johnlenham]

Is that the first time any of these threads has had a womans problem dealing with the friendzone?

 

[AdventureRacing]

This may not be directly related to the thread but i'm trying to get some nice clothes to go out clubbing in. I have some ideas of what i like but i wouldn't mind some suggestions, it has been years since i really went out like this.

Also i finally cut off all contact with my ex (i know i said i would do that weeks ago). Things are going great for me at the moment and i'm happier than i've been in a long time.

I still don't really want a relationship at the moment. I think i am just going to keep things casual for now and just enjoy myself (i've never really done much of that in my life). I'm just enjoying having a good time right now.

 

[Sarye]

Guys I need some advice. I guess I'll give the whole story.

Is there anything I can do at this point where I don't become a bitch? I really never meant for this to happen. Are we still just friends?

I would question whether you guys were ever friends. He obviously likes you and I would have suspected it when he poked you on facebook and met up with you.

However you did good in being clear with him that you were not looking for anything. The thing is, you made it about yourself and not about him. You're not looking for anything because of your own insecurities, which while may be true, is not really a no to a guy. You need to be more clear to him that you are not interested in him.

Also do not accept the 3ds. Give it back to him. There's a good chance you will lose him as a friend.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Well guys, as of today, I'm a frat boy. I got voted in. All I had to do was let me be me and that's it. I duno what to expect but screw it. Got invited to play football on Saturday.

This late into the semester...??

 

[Jhoan]

This late into the semester...??

There's about 3 months left in the semester (in NY CUNY schools). They're still looking for people so I'd figure why not. I'm a senior but I got about another year left to go so it's good. A student government dude suggested it so I talked to a classmate who's in it, one thing led to the other, and here I am. If anyone has any social anxiety issues, I would suggest considering joining a fraternity. It's a social frat so it's right up my alley. Also going to more GAF meet ups to get rid of the "this-is-going-to-be-awkward" mentality.

Unfortunately, I might not be able to attend the football meet up because I have to volunteer in the night. That means that I would have to take a duffel bag with my uniform, go down there all stinky and sweaty, and get changed. I might pass by with my uniform for a bit, then be out.

On another note, any one remember the speed dating event that I went to? Well apparently, I received an e-mail notifying me that I will be getting the results on whether or not I was "more than friends" or "friends" with the two chicks I talked to soon. One of the chicks was too nerdy for my tastes so I circled friends; the other one (who's also a Studio Art major), I hit it off with well. It's encouraged that regardless of the decision, I should contact them and arrange a meet up.

I have no other things to report other than casually talking to chicks from my class or in the studio. Soultron's advice on talking to chicks casually without asking for any numbers, playing the eye contact game, and choosing to give a chick the number if one find her interesting is pretty solid advice. A chick that didn't know did say good night to me and smiled yesterday. I didn't smile back, but I did say good night back and thought if I knew her.

Oh and I also went to a beer pong event at my school last Friday, felt awkward, and didn't talk to any chicks. I was introduced to a couple of frat boys though, met a dude from another frat, and talked to a dude I befriended at the speed dating event for a while.

 

[hipgnosis]

Had a fantastic date tonight, this was our second date. Holy shit. We grabbed sushi to eat at my place. Had a great time eating the sushi and spent the evening with her lying on my lap and talking about all kinds of stuff. Held hands together and cuddled the whole night. Gave her a sweet kiss when she left. She is extremely good looking, never had a girl this beautiful. She is also incredibly smart and not superficial, also has a master's in economics.

Have no idea how I'm dating a girl of this caliber. This is 10/10 material.

Made plans for future dates already. She suggested we'd meet tomorrow, but I already had plans. Gotta arrange something for next week.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Guys I need some advice. I guess I'll give the whole story.

So, I'm a 22 yr old female. About five months ago I see that my old friend from high school poked me on facebook. I send him a message saying hi and we started chatting and catching up since I hadn't seen him in several years. We make plans to meet up for coffee and chat.

Well, eventually we start chatting more on facebook and hanging out more often, just going out to eat and playing video games and stuff. I knew that he had romantic feelings for me back in high school (I had previously rejected him), but I didn't see the problem of just hanging out since he is a very nice person and a good friend and I thought the whole thing was behind us. But maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Now I told him in casual conversation pretty early on that I really wasn't looking to date, that I seriously doubt that I ever wanted to get married or be in a serious relationship with anyone really (I have trust issues and other personal issues which would make me a bad potential mate at this time), and I wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted a relationship. He seemed to accept this. I was very adamant about being uncertain of marriage and was at a point where I needed to figure myself out and be single. This was just casual conversation though, while we discussed our dating lives. He is the opposite, he wants to get married and find the love of his life. He seemed lonely and wants a relationship.

I thought it was pretty cemented that we were just platonic friends, until Valentine's Day when he sent me roses. I really didn't know what to think, and it was only a few weeks after my mom died (my dad died two weeks earlier) and I was in a bad spot in my life and chose to just ignore the whole thing. He was genuinely supportive of me during that time and I consider him a true friend. I had just lost both of my parents and he was very compassionate. But I never intended to lead him into thinking I wanted more. I wasn't trying to use him.

Well, yesterday he gave me a present. It turns out that he bought me a 3DS! Now I'm not sure what to think at all. I don't want to get into a situation where he thinks I'm taking advantage of him. I'm not sure if this gift means that he's expecting a more intimate relationship with me or if he thinks we're already in one! I mean, it's a pretty expensive gift. And I never asked him to buy it. I don't want to lead him on, but this just blindsided me and I feel guilty for it, even though I did want a 3DS. I don't know what to do and I don't want to hurt this person. But I really, really don't want to date him. I don't return his feelings. I just want to be single and have platonic friends and just focus on my life. I don't want the emotional entanglement of a relationship.

Is there anything I can do at this point where I don't become a bitch? I really never meant for this to happen. Are we still just friends?

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong here but sometimes you have to be way more clear than you would think. This guy reminds me of a guy I know who is pretty socially awkward. My best friend danced with him once and he ended up sending her a rose. It's at that point that you have to make things explicitly clear even though you know it's going to hurt. Some guys will know whether interest is there or not with even the vaguest of hints, some will be completely oblivious.

Now you have to deal with this 3ds situation which is potentially going to suck. And look, don't let the angry 'nice guys' get you down. You are not a bitch for not being interested in someone who's interested in you. You're going to have to give him the present back and lay everything out. Good luck!

 

[Combine]

That sucks. I personally hope that I never fall below the standards of trying to buy someones affections with gifts or such things. I may be desperate, but I'd like to think I still had some standards of decency left in me.

I sure as hell wouldn't try to blackmail someone with a gift and then get all upset if she doesn't return the affection, or ever get upset if affection was never given. Then again, I've never experienced affection, so maybe I do not know what it does to the senses.

 

[Mr.City]

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong here but sometimes you have to be way more clear than you would think. This guy reminds me of a guy I know who is pretty socially awkward. My best friend danced with him once and he ended up sending her a rose. It's at that point that you have to make things explicitly clear even though you know it's going to hurt. Some guys will know whether interest is there or not with even the vaguest of hints, some will be completely oblivious.

Now you have to deal with this 3ds situation which is potentially going to suck. And look, don't let the angry 'nice guys' get you down. You are not a bitch for not being interested in someone who's interested in you. You're going to have to give him the present back and lay everything out. Good luck!

What's wrong with that. That sounds romantic. Have we really become that judgmental and paranoid about displays of affection.

As for the 3DS story, I'm afraid you never really had a friendship with that man. He never really saw you in the first place, rather just the needs and wants that he projected on to you. If he were actually able to see you, he would realize that you need to be single right now. Instead, he views it as something he can bulldoze through with gifts.

That sucks. I personally hope that I never fall below the standards of trying to buy someones affections with gifts or such things. I may be desperate, but I'd like to think I still had some standards of decency left in me.

I sure as hell wouldn't try to blackmail someone with a gift and then get all upset if she doesn't return the affection, or ever get upset if affection was never given. Then again, I've never experienced affection, so maybe I do not know what it does to the senses.

Maybe you should actually try building human relationships first before going off about how bad one is or stating that you wish one day you could have something like that. It's out there; it's now.