I am I guess.
I'm 22.
Hopefully I'll still have a chance to go out and party since I barely did before.
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Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
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I'm 22.
Hopefully I'll still have a chance to go out and party since I barely did before.
So, fellas, in case you couldn't tell, I was joking about the fetish parts. THe date was pure assbutter. She looked much...more rotund in real life than those little avatar pics of her. She was very juvenile, which is not always bad when tempered with something else. Unfortunately, she didn't have anything else. We went to a coffee shop I knew of and played some of the games they had there, like checkers. I was funny, flirty, and fun, but the date ended with her getting pouty and saying I cheated. She just walked out the door without saying good night or anything else. A 21 year old woman made about some children's game we weren't taking seriously.
RANT TIME: What happened to the women? The women I've dated have either been full of dead energy or like mini-frat boys. Where is the feminine beauty and mystique? Why are so many of them overweight? I like being loud, crash, and rude sometimes, but that can't be all you got. I want a woman, a girl, not a female version of a 20-something male.
I'm tired of bumper car relationship where we smash into each other for a 3-5 months and then uncouple. I WANT A REAL WOMAN.
Rant over.
bananaman1234
Unconfirmed Member
Most of them probably aren't on OKCupid.
Holy shit. I think you're lucky she spaced out and didn't kill you with her shotgun and eat your remains.
Personally all the girls I've dated recently have been relatively normal. The few fat ones had nice personalities for the most part, a few of them were lesser or greater flakes, but none remotely like your story. All the rest seemed perfectly mature, intelligent, and pretty.
But hey, there's a lot of overweight people now, and they're probably less likely to be in a relationship for a variety of reasons. As a former fatty myself, I sorta understand a lot of the inner workings.
There are good girls out there, for sure. /end
Anyways, I'm not just reporting back to reply but just updating that this weekend I'll be meeting an incredibly gorgeous girl, far more sexy, cute, and beautiful than anyone I've ever... met?! We've skyped and such. She's expressed genuine interest in me.
I must admit I'm a little intimidated by her beauty. She's called me very handsome and all that. I guess I'm looking pretty good these days, but still she's stunning. Shown her pic to my bros and they all have had the same reaction.
So, any advice on how to deal besides the typical advice? She is just a girl after all, and I can think of her that way.
That's very true.
Domino Theory
Crystal Dynamics
My OKCupid account has taken a 180 lately.
I messaged a chick last week and to my surprise, she responded, so we were chatting it up for an hour or so until she just decided to stop messaging me which sucks because I thought our conversation was going great, but I didn't to seem needy or pushy so I didn't message her again after my intial response to the last thing she sent me.
During this time, I got an email saying another chick rated me 4 or 5 starts out of 5 which blew my mind again.
Fast forward to today and I get an email from OKCupid saying:
I remember reading a while back that OKCupid hides "unattractive" people from attractive people without telling them and I was certain this would happen to me. Don't know what the fuck is going on.
I messaged a chick last week and to my surprise, she responded, so we were chatting it up for an hour or so until she just decided to stop messaging me which sucks because I thought our conversation was going great, but I didn't to seem needy or pushy so I didn't message her again after my intial response to the last thing she sent me.
During this time, I got an email saying another chick rated me 4 or 5 starts out of 5 which blew my mind again.
Fast forward to today and I get an email from OKCupid saying:
I remember reading a while back that OKCupid hides "unattractive" people from attractive people without telling them and I was certain this would happen to me. Don't know what the fuck is going on.
My OKCupid account has taken a 180 lately.
I messaged a chick last week and to my surprise, she responded, so we were chatting it up for an hour or so until she just decided to stop messaging me which sucks because I thought our conversation was going great, but I didn't to seem needy or pushy so I didn't message her again after my intial response to the last thing she sent me.
During this time, I got an email saying another chick rated me 4 or 5 starts out of 5 which blew my mind again.
Fast forward to today and I get an email from OKCupid saying:
I remember reading a while back that OKCupid hides "unattractive" people from attractive people without telling them and I was certain this would happen to me. Don't know what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, I've gotten those messages before. It seems when your profile hits a certain level of hotness you'll get them. But you're lucky because I know not everyone gets em. (Lucky as in you're lucky that you're especially attractive to women)
As far as the girl that cut off. It just happens, usually with crazy girls.
Just recently I was hitting it off with one girl and she closed her account just today (I checked that I wasn't just blocked). It was all going 100%, but I assume she just freaked out, decided she didn't want to meet me or anyone, probably afraid of being hurt. She wasn't the prettiest but we shared some cool interests.
Another time that happened I actually was able to track the girl down and we kinda became friends. She was an alcoholic already in a relationship (didn't tell me that bit) that she remains very unhappy with. So yeah, problems.
Naturally a girl that didn't tell you her dark secrets and is ashamed and thinks you'll reject her would close down her account. A lot of them would and do, anyways.
But anyways, keep up the good work. You're hitting the attractive rating, I've had tons of slow times and right now I'm working up 8 different girls (including the one I made out with a few weeks back and the super hot one this weekend). You keep working at it and you will go further than you imagine possible.
Domino Theory
Crystal Dynamics
You meet these chicks on OKCupid?
My OKCupid account has taken a 180 lately.
I messaged a chick last week and to my surprise, she responded, so we were chatting it up for an hour or so until she just decided to stop messaging me which sucks because I thought our conversation was going great, but I didn't to seem needy or pushy so I didn't message her again after my intial response to the last thing she sent me.
During this time, I got an email saying another chick rated me 4 or 5 starts out of 5 which blew my mind again.
Fast forward to today and I get an email from OKCupid saying:
I remember reading a while back that OKCupid hides "unattractive" people from attractive people without telling them and I was certain this would happen to me. Don't know what the fuck is going on.
I'm curious about how this works. I found it odd that no one had messaged me for weeks, and suddenly I uploaded a second, better picture of myself and I had a message yesterday, not only that she wanted to meet up (wasn't interested in her though).
Frank "Trashman" Reynolds
Banned
Don't do it. I always freeze and say the stupidest shit when leaving a voicemail. Doesn't matter who it is for. Don't potentially fuck yourself. You will be on caller id. You did your part and now the shit is in her court. Just let it be!
If you have to do SOMETHING I would just follow up with a short text message.
Yep, all the ones now are. I haven't met a single actual 'crazy' on OKC, the crazies drop out early for me.
So the ex-girlfriend texted me this on St. Patrick's Day, and I don't know what to do with this. March 17th was going to be our 3rd anniversary and she drunk texted me. I haven't responded, but the message got me upset. I'm mostly over her and I'm kinda together with this girl, but I've been thinking about her a lot lately and it seems like she's in the same position.
I kinda want her back, but I know I'm better to just keep moving forward. The girl I'm with now is a complete 180 of her and she's so good to me, but I don't know if I am as interested into her as she is with me. And now with this text I realized that I'm thinking the same exact things. I'm happy without her, happier than I've ever been in the past 10 months, but the thought of what we did together and how much we loved each other brings me back once or twice a week.
I kinda want her back, but I know I'm better to just keep moving forward. The girl I'm with now is a complete 180 of her and she's so good to me, but I don't know if I am as interested into her as she is with me. And now with this text I realized that I'm thinking the same exact things. I'm happy without her, happier than I've ever been in the past 10 months, but the thought of what we did together and how much we loved each other brings me back once or twice a week.
I have though. I haven't spoken to her since February, and I don't plan on talking to her for a very long time. If it happens again, I'll lay down the law, but I'm not going to respond to this.
Mully, I know context is important, but for some reason I read/interpreted that as being incredibly vindictive. We all know that you hurt this girl's feelings, but what did she expect you to say back to that message? "Yeah, I'm a terrible person?"
Let sleeping dogs lie. Don't respond to her. It's for the best. You're just going to waste time talking to a girl who doesn't want you. The funny things with these situations is that you'll often think you're making progress, getting back in her good books, but at any second she can dump your right back to square one. It's a cycle of bullshit you don't want to get trapped in. The best thing you can do, for your ex, is make sure that you don't treat the girl you're with (or the next girl, whatever) like you did your ex. She would respect you for that if she's a half-decent person.
Let sleeping dogs lie. Don't respond to her. It's for the best. You're just going to waste time talking to a girl who doesn't want you. The funny things with these situations is that you'll often think you're making progress, getting back in her good books, but at any second she can dump your right back to square one. It's a cycle of bullshit you don't want to get trapped in. The best thing you can do, for your ex, is make sure that you don't treat the girl you're with (or the next girl, whatever) like you did your ex. She would respect you for that if she's a half-decent person.
I'm kinda confused by what you're saying. Are you implying that I'm looking for revenge?
Also, I have learned from my relationship with her. It was great, it was nearly the relationship, but I didn't know how to deal with stress, how to be completely open with her, and how to understand to take things day by day. I'm currently dating this pretty great girl. I have been up front with her on what happened in the past. I've told her about the things that I've done: the counseling, the way things ended with my ex, even my depression.
I've let her in on nearly everything. I always used to hold these things back because I used to believe that if I told girls these things, they wouldn't like me anymore. Now, I show them not just my jock side, but my nerdy side as well. I could honestly care less about what people think of me anymore. When I don't like someone or how they have acted, I tell them.
I'm not looking to get back with my ex. I'm more angry about our interactions the past three months than happy. She's been rather cruel, telling me I am a very self-destructive person, how she never wants to be in a relationship with anyone like me ever again, and how much of an idiot I am to listen to people's advice. If she wanted me to nearly hate her, she's done her job. The text she sent me, has done more of that, but it has also brought back the feeling of sorrow. I feel sorry for her.
She seems to forcing herself to believe that she doesn't need me. With the constant lyrics posts on Twitter about doing better without me, and this text; it just wreaks of desperation. I know her too well. Come June, when she's home from school and she's away from her college friends, the parties, the frat guys, she's going to start to feel really sorry for herself. She's going to realize that in the end I fucked everything up between us, but it was her who pushed me away, and it's going to be her that misses me come this summer. I'll reminisce, but I won't miss her.
And I'm not just saying that because I hope that. I don't, I love seeing her smile, even if I'm not together with her. She, like everyone else deserves to be happy. I want her to be happy, but I know her too well. She did this with her friends where they initially ruined everything. She then pushed them away after they apologized and made themselves better. Then about a year after everything ended between them, she began to really miss them, and finally tried to let them back in, but it was too late.
I am happy now, the text made me feel bad for her, and let some of the sadness back in my life, but it hasn't stopped me like it did a month ago. I feel better, and it's obvious that the things she is doing are just distracting her, and not letting her truly move on.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
Guys, this is going to be impossible to understand, but I can't be with somebody who drinks.
My current girlfriend wants to drink more, and I told her I'd likely break up with her if that's the case.
Being that she has been the greatest part of my existence, I really don't want to do this.
I don't know what to do. My convictions on this are too strong... they're too imbedded in who I am. I can't change them, even if they are too stringent.
My current girlfriend wants to drink more, and I told her I'd likely break up with her if that's the case.
Being that she has been the greatest part of my existence, I really don't want to do this.
I don't know what to do. My convictions on this are too strong... they're too imbedded in who I am. I can't change them, even if they are too stringent.
Could you go into more detail into your convictions and what she wants?
All good. Just clarifying. I don't think she meant to be vindictive. I believe she accidentally drunk texted me telling me how first she misses me and second how she's really conflicted with herself. Like I said, if she does it again, it's obvious that you're right and I will let her know that she's doing something wrong.
Well, if you two are incompatible in this respect and it's that important to both of you, then break up. Find someone who shares your beliefs.
Frankly though I'd try to compromise with this. Some alcohol intake isn't an unreasonable thing to do for the vast majority of people. Depending on what you means by 'drink more', you might be the one with the abnormal position here.
In the end you decide what's right for you, and if that isn't her, find someone else.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
I'll take a stab at how he feels.
He's probably too clean cut and a moral straight arrow (like me) or an INTJ and doesn't know it.
Personally and in general I think that drinking is nonsense and a crutch that is there for weak people, also I see it as a sign of being dishonest and not a representation of the real person.
Some people have issues understanding why others do things (specially INTJ's) we want shit to make sense all the damn time.
I think we might have a problem lol...
Other reasons include not showing respect to your body because alcohol or smoking totally wreck your shit. I don't have that many issues with girls drinking socially but if they smoke I don't even pay attention to them, specially if it's known that it's part of their life.
Dammit, dammit, dammit, fuck Virgin Mobile. Apparently Virgin Mobile's texting/data is out today and it's entirely possible the girl I met on OKC texted me wanting to meet up for lunch. I don't know for sure yet, as I haven't started seeing the text messages I know other people sent me flow in yet, but I'm slightly paranoid thinking about it, and now she might think I'm ignoring her or something.
Edit: As predicted, paranoid over nothing. Service came back, no text from her.
Edit: As predicted, paranoid over nothing. Service came back, no text from her.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
This is a close explanation, but add in the fact that my brother and sister are both alcoholics and they destroyed large parts of my life due to their addictions.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
That sucks man.
What is weird is that neither of my parents ever had any sort of substance addictions ever.
I haven't met two people that have been so passive / morally pure without being imposing like my two parents. I'm glad to be their son.
Power Glove
Member
Oh shit! A girl just told me she was annoyed that I didn't text her back. I thought she was playing games! Got any links I can show her?
edit:nm found one.
This is really gonna fuck up mah game.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
I'm heading to her house in an hour and it might be the last time I see her.
This hurts like hell.
This hurts like hell.
Well, I've definitely given up. I mean, that's the only possible explanation for my utter lack of any progress at all.
Just haven't had time to think about it. Until I'm drowning in depression over regrets, but too scared of anxiety/panic to actually do anything about it.
Life sure is grand.
Just haven't had time to think about it. Until I'm drowning in depression over regrets, but too scared of anxiety/panic to actually do anything about it.
Life sure is grand.
Aesius
Member
How old are you? And how much is she wanting to drink? Like, full-blown alcoholic drinking a bottle of vodka every night kind of thing?
I think you're overreacting, and I think you're SEVERELY limiting your options if you flat-out refuse to date anyone who drinks.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
http://youtu.be/q5nVqeVhgQE
Start jogging bro, head to the park, release your mind mang! Loosen up! You can't change the past, you can change the future! You have total control of yourself!
don't even bother with him, Slayer.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
Oh I know man... I know...
Stop living inside your mind combine.
Stop living inside your mind.
There's people cheering for you.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
25, and no she's not an alcoholic.
I'm aware my views are unrealistic and incorrect, but I lack the motivation to change them. I have too much resentment toward it.
How do you measure progress in something like this?
I would recommend giving up all possessions and going to a zen temple in Tibet.
PflargBlarg
Member
I think you're going to have problems with this then. Almost everyone drinks socially. Out of the roughly 150 people that I would currently count as friends, there is 1 who doesn't drink.
Alcohol abuse is awful, I know. But don't ruin something great because she drinks socially on the same level as most everyone else. If she abused alcohol, that would be a different subject. But if you are truly happy with this person, then cutting things off with her simply on the grounds that she has a good time with her friends or likes to loosen up after a shitty day might come back to haunt you as a huge regret later on.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
Things with the girl I had previously mentioned that I had caught up with after a while took an interesting turn. Met up with some friends tonight and one of her best friends was there and she was prodding me about how we'd make a cute couple n all that, and saying how the her friend [the girl I caught up with] was looking forward to seeing me and hanging out with me. That and she not so subtly said we should double date.
After being out of it for a while, this is starting to get fun again.
After being out of it for a while, this is starting to get fun again.
Have you sat and spoke to her about this?
My mother died almost 2 years ago to liver cirrhosis, and while I don't like alcohol I'm okay with socially drinking and as long as they aren't perpetually drunk, I don't mind if others drink.
You can ease up a bit.
You give up and you will fail. That's the only way you fail.
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKVNf6kuhv0
Then believe it because it's true. I didn't believe and then I did then I became a God. (hyperbole)
Signed up for OKC tonight. I figured why the fuck not. Alas, I have to sleep because I have to go to work tomorrow morning, so filling it out will have to wait. Also, I want to buzz my head again before I take a current picture. Anything I should be aware of/watch out for/do's and don'ts in regards to a profile picture?
TheVampire
Banned
Pictures that have you with all your friends out having fun work really well I've found.
TheVampire
Banned
Hey guys I need some help with the L word.....
Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 and a half months now.
We havn't had sex yet because she is the shy type and wants to take things slow and also takes a while with letting new people in. Im fine with that and I can wait.
I really like her alot, shes amazing and I think about her all the time.
So a few weeks ago I told her how happy I was and that I was in love with her.
She said that it was really sweet but didn't say it back (Im thinking its like how she said that she takes a while getting used to new people and letting them in emotionally)
Since then Ive felt like I want to tell her again and again how I feel and that I love her but have resisted the urge since I didnt want to make things awkward since she hasn't said it back yet.
I dropped it in our convo on facebook tonight because she has been really busy at work and hasnt been able to see me so I just said thats ok can't blame a guy for trying to see the girl he loves and even though this was the second time I said it she just replied back saying yeah I know.
So should I just hold off saying it untill she is ready to?
Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 and a half months now.
We havn't had sex yet because she is the shy type and wants to take things slow and also takes a while with letting new people in. Im fine with that and I can wait.
I really like her alot, shes amazing and I think about her all the time.
So a few weeks ago I told her how happy I was and that I was in love with her.
She said that it was really sweet but didn't say it back (Im thinking its like how she said that she takes a while getting used to new people and letting them in emotionally)
Since then Ive felt like I want to tell her again and again how I feel and that I love her but have resisted the urge since I didnt want to make things awkward since she hasn't said it back yet.
I dropped it in our convo on facebook tonight because she has been really busy at work and hasnt been able to see me so I just said thats ok can't blame a guy for trying to see the girl he loves and even though this was the second time I said it she just replied back saying yeah I know.
So should I just hold off saying it untill she is ready to?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Hold off for a while. Let her say it.
I work out regularly (well, as regularly as I can) and still do weight training, so I am getting the energy out. Though, it overwhelms me sometimes as it did yesterday. The problem with knowing I'm in total control over myself is that I know I've not made good choices and am unsure of any choices I make in the future, given such a horrendous track record.
Well, would you say I've made progress? I mean, you know me better than most. Has there been improvements. Even if I think there has been, that might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, especially when, I still have yet to make any social inroads after all these years.
Was that meant as a joke? I couldn't last 10 seconds just listening to the music.
listen to this one, its much bteter, i am not kidding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdaOT72ieXs
if you absolutely cant stand it, skip to 0:15 and watch for at least 15 seconds cause its funny
Don't take this the wrong way, but this sounds like your first relationship. 4 months, no sex, and you want to say you love her. There's a big difference between love and extreme fondness, and her inability to return affection is something you'll want to examine because it sounds very one sided from here.
Jesus, would you leave yourself alone?
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