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[Septimius]

I can sense you're in a negative spiral, JokerOfSpades. You're dragging yourself down with things you want to achieve when you're not in a position to take on the daunting tasks that they are. You should do a reset. You should not think about long term goals, but instead focus on getting some healthy routines. I'm guessing you have all these things you wish to achieve, and things you want to do, but you end up procrastinating, doing something to distract yourself, and you end up feeling more dependent on achieving your goals, but have less energy to deal with it.

Going to the gym is a fantastic idea. When you work out, your body works much better. Your body will send out happy hormones and you'll sleep better, which in term will help with your hormones, and so on. Don't think of it as a way to "lose this much weight" or "gain this much muscle" or anything like that. Do it to get a healthy day-to-day life, and rework your entire week to build yourself into a happy human being. They come from those kind of things, they don't come from a girl's acknowledgement. You're seeking it backwards, because the state you're in is a state that will make it less likely for you to be successful in your encounters with girls, and that will not make you feel good. So instead of doing that and digging the hole deeper, focus on yourself for a while, and don't put so much effort into a girl. When you preoccupy yourself and second guess every text you send, you'll get in your own way.

Right now you're at the creek, and you're trying to hold some water in your hands. But you're trying so hard, and you're grasping so hard at the water that it will always escape. It is only when you're relaxed, and you don't grasp at the water, but let it rest in a cup you make of your hands that you will be able to hold it for some time. You won't get this peace unless you rework your life from the bottom up. It will at least be a much harder road to walk, even though it doesn't feel like it, intuitively.

 

[Vermillion]

To be fair, if you have a minute or so to talk to a girl, the more attractive person will likely have been able to get with the girl faster than the less attractive one. This person would have to spend more time working on her...

And that's in the case of a purely physical, quick relationship.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

To be fair, if you have a minute or so to talk to a girl, the more attractive person will likely have been able to get with the girl faster than the less attractive one. This person would have to spend more time working on her...

And that's in the case of a purely physical, quick relationship.

You... you are aware that you're a pretty good looking dude, right?

I apologize for the negativity in that post, but that's what I gathered from his words (whether he intended to say that or not). I'm having a shitty day.

You should do some sort of inner peace relaxation thing. Go punch a wall or smash a wall with a bat, play games, chill out, center yourself.

 

[theignoramus]

I know the type. So what if he can ensnare any type of women for some period of time? They all either come to their senses or are manipulated enough or dumped by this emotional unavailable, miserable guy. If you can't form meaningful, lasting relationships, it's all for nothing. You can't be serious that you're envious of a person that had a bad childhood and an abusive father and a dead mother just because it gets them laid because they've become a cold, manipulative bastard because of it.

There's nothing to be envious of here. Keep struggling. It's hardship that will shape you and drive you to become a fantastic person. It is the fact that you work for what you achieve that makes you a fantastic person at this very instant.

point taken, lol. I wouldnt describe the guy as 'cold' though, one thing I took from him was that women LOVED that he was fearless about putting his feelings on the table, showing his "vulnerable side" so to speak.

He's a very good conversationalist too, so he seems very passionate to the women he games. I know what the guy was doing was ethically wrong, but he's extremely good at getting women into him. it's hard not to be jealous of some aspects of his game.

 

[Atramental]

That's a fucking terrible rule. If you follow that rule, you'll end up approaching no one, not cause you're not hot but because you have a terrible self-image.

I want you to strip that rule out of your mind. Now.

This.

Also RawPower, if you have a pen and a sheet of paper laying around I want you to write down some empowering beliefs for yourself and read them to yourself (preferably out loud) everyday. There's just something about writing our beliefs down that makes them more real to us.

For example, here are some of my beliefs that I have written down for myself:
-I'm awesome.
-Every day above ground is a great day.
-Talking to people is easy and natural for me.
-I am confident in myself and my abilities
-Everything that I want to do or become is within the realm of possibility.
-I am a hardworking and intelligent person.
-Hot and intelligent girls come up to me all the time because they genuinely think I'm an interesting person.

 

[Vermillion]

I can sense you're in a negative spiral, JokerOfSpades. You're dragging yourself down with things you want to achieve when you're not in a position to take on the daunting tasks that they are. You should do a reset. You should not think about long term goals, but instead focus on getting some healthy routines. I'm guessing you have all these things you wish to achieve, and things you want to do, but you end up procrastinating, doing something to distract yourself, and you end up feeling more dependent on achieving your goals, but have less energy to deal with it.

Going to the gym is a fantastic idea. When you work out, your body works much better. Your body will send out happy hormones and you'll sleep better, which in term will help with your hormones, and so on. Don't think of it as a way to "lose this much weight" or "gain this much muscle" or anything like that. Do it to get a healthy day-to-day life, and rework your entire week to build yourself into a happy human being. They come from those kind of things, they don't come from a girl's acknowledgement. You're seeking it backwards, because the state you're in is a state that will make it less likely for you to be successful in your encounters with girls, and that will not make you feel good. So instead of doing that and digging the hole deeper, focus on yourself for a while, and don't put so much effort into a girl. When you preoccupy yourself and second guess every text you send, you'll get in your own way.

Right now you're at the creek, and you're trying to hold some water in your hands. But you're trying so hard, and you're grasping so hard at the water that it will always escape. It is only when you're relaxed, and you don't grasp at the water, but let it rest in a cup you make of your hands that you will be able to hold it for some time. You won't get this peace unless you rework your life from the bottom up. It will at least be a much harder road to walk, even though it doesn't feel like it, intuitively.

I'm planning on going to the gym to maintain what I have. As it is, I can almost bench my own weight (not that that's much - I'm 140 and I can bench 135 about 3-4 times). I'm pretty in shape (thank you genetics for a godlike metabolism). I used to have visible abs, so I'm working on getting that back, too.

At any rate, I'm not putting that much effort into a girl. I failed (I'm sure) and so now I'm going to drop it, and move on. I mean, I get your point - I'm gonna do me, and keep working on me (I've been talking to random people as per this thread's advice to get better with conversation).

With the whole text thing, I know what I should do:
1) Stop paying attention to my phone so much. If I forget or miss a text, shit not given.
2) Safe route is always better until I figure things out. I can get to know the person better next time I see them, but texting is only to fill a bit of time until that time

At any rate, now I know what not to say. Learning experience. But I should also prioritize more. Party on the weekend, but don't get too drunk - I'm the type that's still mentally intact when drunk, and I fucking hate making myself look stupid. Other people don't care, but I can't let go, so it's probably better I cut down.

I do learn from mistakes, it's just that they're so painful in the morning, every time you know you've failed with something, anything. I wish that sometimes this experience pays off, but I keep learning from new mistakes every time. Meh, I'll get over it, honestly.

 

[Septimius]

I apologize for the negativity in that post, but that's what I gathered from his words (whether he intended to say that or not). I'm having a shitty day.

Don't ever let anyone tell you looks is important in picking up women. It's a backwards thing, and I'll explain it under the next quote

To be fair, if you have a minute or so to talk to a girl, the more attractive person will likely have been able to get with the girl faster than the less attractive one. This person would have to spend more time working on her...

And that's in the case of a purely physical, quick relationship.

No. It's all about how you act. Not how you look. If you act hot, you will be hot. I constantly call this a backwards thing, because we think you have to be hot to act hot. But you have to act hot to be hot. Girls don't want someone that's hot, they want someone that acts hot. That's where the transformation to those that go from being 'sadface lonely' to being a PUA comes from. Sure, they go to a tanning salon and they dress better, but the number one thing isn't WHAT you say to a girl, it's HOW you say it.

If you act the right way, you can walk up to a girl and say anything. If you don't act the right way, you can have the best pick up line ever, and you won't have a chance. It's how you act that makes a guy able to walk up to a girl and say "want to go back to my place" and them saying yes, not how he looks.

So get rid of the notion that looks is what you need. Looks is a shortcut, because if you always were hot, you've always been told you're hot, and that's why you've adapted the 'hot attitude'. It's strange for those that haven't always been hot to realise what it implies, but it's not looks, but the attitude that comes with the looks.

 

[Vermillion]

You... you are aware that you're a pretty good looking dude, right?

Everything is relative.

I'd like to think that, but the most I've been told by females is "you have a nice body, but you're too modest" and "your glasses are nice."

Alright, I'm definitely going to the gym this week.

 

[Septimius]

This.

Also RawPower, if you have a pen and a sheet of paper laying around I want you to write down some empowering beliefs for yourself and read them to yourself (preferably out loud) everyday. There's just something about writing our beliefs down that makes them more real to us.

For example, here are some of my beliefs that I have written down for myself:
-I'm awesome.
-Every day above ground is a great day.
-Talking to people is easy and natural for me.
-I am confident in myself and my abilities
-Everything that I want to do or become is within the realm of possibility.
-I am a hardworking and intelligent person.
-Hot and intelligent girls come up to me all the time because they genuinely think I'm an interesting person.

Hey Atramental, I fell off the face of youtube, so I didn't see past the first video or couple of first videos you made. How did the entire project you set out to accomplish go? I subscribed to you because I really liked your determination.

Everything is relative.

I'd like to think that, but the most I've been told by females is "you have a nice body, but you're too modest" and "your glasses are nice."

Alright, I'm definitely going to the gym this week.

Dude. All of your problems are in your head. You don't need visible abs to get women. Being generally healthy is a plus, but you don't need to be big. It's clearer with everything you say that you're more than hot enough to do anything you want. You're standing in your own way. A nice body is something any worthwhile girl will call "a bonus" in their dream guy. Any girl will be thrilled their boyfriends have a nice body, but there's a bujillion things that are more important. You need to get out of your head. At this point you pretty much have anorexia with prettiness. You've got everything it takes, but you don't believe in yourself. It's a dangerous path, bro.

 

[Vermillion]

This.

Also RawPower, if you have a pen and a sheet of paper laying around I want you to write down some empowering beliefs for yourself and read them to yourself (preferably out loud) everyday. There's just something about writing our beliefs down that makes them more real to us.

For example, here are some of my beliefs that I have written down for myself:
-I'm awesome.
-Every day above ground is a great day.
-Talking to people is easy and natural for me.
-I am confident in myself and my abilities
-Everything that I want to do or become is within the realm of possibility.
-I am a hardworking and intelligent person.
-Hot and intelligent girls come up to me all the time because they genuinely think I'm an interesting person.

Not to be a downer, but at some point it becomes delusion. It's the same thing I said to my parents about religion - I can keep saying and believing these things despite having no experience with a higher being, but at some point I'm just going to go insane. I can believe these things but that doesn't make them true. It just makes me pretend it's true.

EDIT: But keep up the great work. I did lurk here before I became a member, and I've seen your progress. It's astounding. I'm waiting for your success tale (and subsequent book )

 

[Atramental]

Hey Atramental, I fell off the face of youtube, so I didn't see past the first video or couple of first videos you made. How did the entire project you set out to accomplish go? I subscribed to you because I really liked your determination.

I haven't really had time to make any new videos because uni. has been keeping me very busy but once summer break starts I'm definitely planning on uploading some new ones so I can show everyone how much change I have made within myself.

 

[Septimius]

Not to be a downer, but at some point it becomes delusion. It's the same thing I said to my parents about religion - I can keep saying and believing these things despite having no experience with a higher being, but at some point I'm just going to go insane. I can believe these things but that doesn't make them true. It just makes me pretend it's true.

EDIT: But keep up the great work. I did lurk here before I became a member, and I've seen your progress. It's astounding. I'm waiting for your success tale (and subsequent book )

Don't you see that delusion you're having is that you're not good looking enough? It's a way dangerous delusion than thinking you're prettier than you are. If you've read my previous posts, I've said that you're only as hot as you're acting, so thinking you're hotter than you are is nothing but a plus. If you're such a big moron that you become arrogant from being pretty.. well, then you'd react the exact same way if you "legitimately" became pretty, as in not through a delusion. But the point is that nothing and everything when it comes to looks is a delusion. If you're the hottest guy in the world and act like an unattractive person, you won't be that hot in the eyes of others. Vice versa.

So this is nothing like religion.

 

[Vermillion]

Don't you see that delusion you're having is that you're not good looking enough? It's a way dangerous delusion than thinking you're prettier than you are. If you've read my previous posts, I've said that you're only as hot as you're acting, so thinking you're hotter than you are is nothing but a plus. If you're such a big moron that you become arrogant from being pretty.. well, then you'd react the exact same way if you "legitimately" became pretty, as in not through a delusion. But the point is that nothing and everything when it comes to looks is a delusion. If you're the hottest guy in the world and act like an unattractive person, you won't be that hot in the eyes of others. Vice versa.

So this is nothing like religion.

You'll still be objectively hot.

Especially if, say you're drunk. A girl would focus on you more than a less attractive person, because while you're drunk, your attitude hardly matters, unless you're being an uncoordinated dick to everyone.

People say that looks don't matter because a hot guy could be unable to get girls. Okay. What does that matter for a less attractive guy? If you have the same abilities/attitude as the hot guy, the hot guy will still be hotter. And if you happen to be around that hot guy as a friend or whatever, unless he's ignoring hot girls for your sake, he'll still attract more, easily.

 

[Atramental]

Not to be a downer, but at some point it becomes delusion. It's the same thing I said to my parents about religion - I can keep saying and believing these things despite having no experience with a higher being, but at some point I'm just going to go insane. I can believe these things but that doesn't make them true. It just makes me pretend it's true.

EDIT: But keep up the great work. I did lurk here before I became a member, and I've seen your progress. It's astounding. I'm waiting for your success tale (and subsequent book )

I get where you're coming from but what you must realize about the human mind is that it is not 100% logical. You have to trick it with emotions and feelings in order to get certain results out of yourself.

Sure being empirical and logical has it's place but I don't need to keep on reminding myself that:
-I'm bald
-I've never had a girlfriend before
-I'm still a virgin
-I'm exhausted most of the time
-I'm 15 to 20 lbs over weight

All these things are facts about myself but they are not the facts I should be focusing on. I need to forget about those facts and focus on the facts that are positive and empowering about myself and also believe in things that I can make possible for myself.

And here's how I switch those negative facts about myself into positive ones:
-Bald is beautiful.
-I am not jaded by past relationships and I'm a blank slate that's ready to be filled with great and wondrous experiences.
-Virginity is a social construct and it does not make me more or less of a person.
-There is so much that I can do for myself via diet and exercise to give me tons of energy.
-I've lost tons of weight in the past and I can do it again with much ease.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Atramental has transformed.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Atramental has transformed.

Atramental 2.0

I like this one better.

 

[Danj]

Nutritionally, yes it is Coke or Mountain Dew. Something being "natural" or having vitamins doesn't automatically make it universally good for you. In this case, the only relevant thing is that you're drinking boatloads of sugar every day.

Drinking sugar water makes you fat, probably the most significant contributor to obesity.

Watch this all the way through to understand why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM&ob=av3e

So okay, I watched this video, I expected it to be really boring but it actually wasn't.

And then straight afterwards, I went and looked on the ingredients sections of the labels of a bunch of the stuff that I eat, to see this high fructose corn sugar that he mentions is so prevalent. And it's not on there. So what gives? Do UK foods not have this thing? Or are they just hiding it or lying about it or something? Not even the juice had it listed, so either the labels are lying, or this theory that juice is what's made me fat has some serious re-examination needed.

 

[Vermillion]

I get where you're coming from but what you must realize about the human mind is that it is not 100% logical. You have to trick it with emotions and feelings in order to get certain results out of yourself.

Sure being empirical and logical has it's place but I don't need to keep on reminding myself that:
-I'm bald
-I've never had a girlfriend before
-I'm still a virgin
-I'm exhausted most of the time
-I'm 15 to 20 lbs over weight

All these things are facts about myself but they are not the facts I should be focusing on. I need to forget about those facts and focus on the facts that are positive and empowering about myself and also believe in things that I can make possible for myself.

And here's how I switch those negative facts about myself into positive ones:
-Bald is beautiful.
-I am not jaded by past relationships and I'm a blank slate that's ready to be filled with great and wondrous experiences.
-Virginity is a social construct and it does not make me more or less of a person.
-There is so much that I can do for myself via diet and exercise to give me tons of energy.
-I've lost tons of weight in the past and I can do it again with much ease.

I suppose. But I'm not going to think things like "beautiful and intelligent women approach me" when it simply isn't true. If I can't say it to others, I'm not going to say it to myself.

 

[Izick]

I suppose. But I'm not going to think things like "beautiful and intelligent women approach me" when it simply isn't true. If I can't say it to others, I'm not going to say it to myself.

People are going to shit on you for being "pessimistic" or "whiny" but I don't see what's wrong with being realistic like that.

 

[Discotheque]

The phoenix has risen from the ashes.

 

[Vermillion]

People are going to shit on you for being "pessimistic" or "whiny" but I don't see what's wrong with being realistic like that.

I'm constantly called a pessimist - no, I'm a realist. Though I see where they're coming from, too. Perhaps a bit of fantasy is needed to make yourself happier.

 

[Danj]

We can sit around and say it sucks that we can't stuff our face with all the chocolate, sodas and fries we want and not gain weight, but if you're serious about this, it's a good wake-up call, not something that sucks. Too many believe drinking juice is a completely healthy thing to do. You're now one of those that know the difference.

Let's say that a liter of juice costs $1.5 - let's say you drink 4 liters per week. That's 312$ per year. If it's $2 per liter, it's 416$. That's 416$ you pay to be unhealthy.

You could almost buy an iPhone by not drinking something unhealthy. Sounds financially beneficial to me.

Uh yeah no, the sort of juice I drink is juice from concentrate, so a 1.5 litre bottle lasts months because you pour out a little bit of it (less than half a finger, since the point has been made that it's basically like alcohol but without the fun parts) and then add water. And the last time I bought some they were doing a 2 for £3.50 deal or something like that.

But I am honestly annoyed that this is like this. I would not be surprised to discover this whole juice conspiracy is one of the main reasons I am fat in the first place - I was fat as a kid as well, it's not something that just happened recently or anything.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Not to be a downer, but at some point it becomes delusion.

The delusion is your current life

 

[Izick]

I'm constantly called a pessimist - no, I'm a realist. Though I see where they're coming from, too. Perhaps a bit of fantasy is needed to make yourself happier.

You can live in a fantasy world, but some day you have to wake up. You can keep telling yourself you can get with a perfect 10 or whatever, but somewhere deep down you know it's bullshit.

I say good on you for being someone realistic.

 

[Cubsfan23]

You can live in a fantasy world, but some day you have to wake up. You can keep telling yourself you can get with a perfect 10 or whatever, but somewhere deep down you know it's bullshit.

I say good on you for being someone realistic.

your subconscious can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Your subconscious is 10000 times more powerful than your conscious mind

 

[Atramental]

I suppose. But I'm not going to think things like "beautiful and intelligent women approach me" when it simply isn't true. If I can't say it to others, I'm not going to say it to myself.

It's starting to become true.

See, at first they didn't come to me because I was in a sour mood all of the time.

Then I started to change my beliefs about myself and reality which in turn altered my mood and then a couple of weeks later I begin to notice that girls are actually initiating conversations with me. That wasn't happening at all during my fall semester (and I had some pretty lousy beliefs about myself during that time) but now it is during my spring semester.

Now of course, some of them are average looking, or just not my type, but there are a couple of cuties that I talk with from time to time.

 

[Izick]

your subconscious can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Your subconscious is 10000 times more powerful than your conscious mind

Are you serious?

It's starting to become true.

See, at first they didn't come to me because I was in a sour mood all of the time.

Then I started to change my beliefs about myself and reality which in turn altered my mood and then a couple of weeks later I begin to notice that girls are actually initiating conversations with me. That wasn't happening at all during my fall semester but now it is during my spring semester.

Now of course, some of them are average looking, or just not my type, but there are a couple of cuties that I talk with from time to time.

Well I'm happy that things are looking up for you, but I just don't see how you internally changing your mood affects your outside surroundings.

 

[Johnas]

So okay, I watched this video, I expected it to be really boring but it actually wasn't.

And then straight afterwards, I went and looked on the ingredients sections of the labels of a bunch of the stuff that I eat, to see this high fructose corn sugar that he mentions is so prevalent. And it's not on there. So what gives? Do UK foods not have this thing? Or are they just hiding it or lying about it or something? Not even the juice had it listed, so either the labels are lying, or this theory that juice is what's made me fat has some serious re-examination needed.

There's a movement afoot (in America anyway) to rename high fructose corn syrup to "corn sugar". That may be a possibility.

 

[Mr.City]

Listen fellas, Joker has logiced his way into finding out that he will never be loved and that sucks. And since it's objective, he's fucked for life.

 

[Vermillion]

It's starting to become true.

See, at first they didn't come to me because I was in a sour mood all of the time.

Then I started to change my beliefs about myself and reality which in turn altered my mood and then a couple of weeks later I begin to notice that girls are actually initiating conversations with me. That wasn't happening at all during my fall semester but now it is during my spring semester.

Now of course, some of them are average looking, or just not my type, but there are a couple of cuties that I talk with from time to time.

I've tried a more positive mindset. Doesn't really work out. I sit at the front of my classes (where there's almost no one) or at the back (in the classes where there's someone) , or I just find a seat. That's all good and well for you, but not necessarily others.

I can start conversations with others if I wanted (and I'm slowly getting better at it), but others will NOT approach me. That's life.

 

[Izick]

Listen fellas, Joker has logiced his way into finding out that he will never be loved and that sucks. And since it's objective, he's fucked for life.

Nope. All he said was that he didn't expect "beautiful women" to just start walking up, talking to him and being interested in him as long as he just changes his mindset.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

your subconscious can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Your subconscious is 10000 times more powerful than your conscious mind

That's actually really not true. If my subconscious were that powerful, I would have a lot of dead people at my feet and beautiful women by my side.

 

[Hylian7]

Are you serious?



Well I'm happy that things are looking up for you, but I just don't see how you internally changing your mood affects your outside surroundings.

The point of all this is: It's all a matter of confidence, that word in the title of this thread. Those other words help too, but confidence is probably the most important one.

 

[RawPower]

Don't ever let anyone tell you looks is important in picking up women. It's a backwards thing, and I'll explain it under the next quote



No. It's all about how you act. Not how you look. If you act hot, you will be hot. I constantly call this a backwards thing, because we think you have to be hot to act hot. But you have to act hot to be hot. Girls don't want someone that's hot, they want someone that acts hot. That's where the transformation to those that go from being 'sadface lonely' to being a PUA comes from. Sure, they go to a tanning salon and they dress better, but the number one thing isn't WHAT you say to a girl, it's HOW you say it.

If you act the right way, you can walk up to a girl and say anything. If you don't act the right way, you can have the best pick up line ever, and you won't have a chance. It's how you act that makes a guy able to walk up to a girl and say "want to go back to my place" and them saying yes, not how he looks.

So get rid of the notion that looks is what you need. Looks is a shortcut, because if you always were hot, you've always been told you're hot, and that's why you've adapted the 'hot attitude'. It's strange for those that haven't always been hot to realise what it implies, but it's not looks, but the attitude that comes with the looks.

How am I supposed to act then?

 

[rataplein]

Uh yeah no, the sort of juice I drink is juice from concentrate, so a 1.5 litre bottle lasts months because you pour out a little bit of it (less than half a finger, since the point has been made that it's basically like alcohol but without the fun parts) and then add water. And the last time I bought some they were doing a 2 for £3.50 deal or something like that.

But I am honestly annoyed that this is like this. I would not be surprised to discover this whole juice conspiracy is one of the main reasons I am fat in the first place - I was fat as a kid as well, it's not something that just happened recently or anything.

of course it's not only the juice, it's your diet and life style.

the people are focusing on the juice because you are making excuses and fighting "a change". just start drinking only water and infussions. or that is too hard for you?

 

[Danj]

There's a movement afoot (in America anyway) to rename high fructose corn syrup to "corn sugar". That may be a possibility.

Right but the labels don't even say "corn sugar", they just say "sugar". So what I want to know is, is it actually a lie, like for example maybe our food labelling regulations aren't as stringent as the US ones or something? Or do the foodstuffs actually not contain this evil fructose?

 

[Vermillion]

Listen fellas, Joker has logiced his way into finding out that he will never be loved and that sucks. And since it's objective, he's fucked for life.

Oh, please. I never said that. But the chances are relatively low. Especially when it comes to them approaching me. The whole thing was that I would have to work significantly harder than another person.

 

[Atramental]

Well I'm happy that things are looking up for you, but I just don't see how you internally changing your mood affects your outside surroundings.

We are not separate beings in our own little vacuums.

Our thoughts affect our bodily dispositions and our bodily dispositions affect other people's perceptions of ourselves.

 

[Izick]

The point of all this is: It's all a matter of confidence, that word in the title of this thread. Those other words help too, but confidence is probably the most important one.

I'm just saying if some big fat guy walks up to a beautiful blonde expecting her to be interested in the slightest, then he's going to be sorely disappointed. You can be confident as you want, but other people have their own minds, and they can see your physical appearance is not up to their standards.

(P.S. I'm fit, I'm just trying to express a point. You could replace fat with ugly or whatever.)

We are not separate beings in our own little vacuums.

Our thoughts affect our bodily dispositions and our bodily dispositions affect other people's perceptions of ourselves.

Like I said, you can be confident all you want, but if you're unattractive then it's not going to do a damn thing.

 

[Danj]

just start drinking only water and infussions. or that is too hard for you?

No it's not too hard for me. I'm just pissed off that I've been basically lied to all these years and whether or not it caused my weight problems it certainly hasn't helped them and will have been a contributing factor.

 

[Hylian7]

I'm just saying if some big fat guy walks up to a beautiful blonde expecting her to be interested in the slightest, then he's going to be sorely disappointed. You can be confident as you want, but other people have their own minds, and they can see your physical appearance is not up to their standards.

(P.S. I'm fit, I'm just trying to express a point. You could replace fat with ugly or whatever.)

My ex girlfriend is with some fat guy now (at least all my female friends agree she definitely downgraded, and I could tell they were actually being honest about that). Now granted my ex was crazy, so it's a little different there, but still, I've seen weirder couples. I'm not saying looks don't matter at all, it's just that they aren't the only thing that's a factor. I don't think I'm that great looking myself. Guess what, I've had 2 dates with girls I've met online (and the second of those actually seems to be going somewhere). You know a huge part of online dating is the pics, as well as other factors, so obviously I did something right there.

The point is, looks do help, and do count for something, but are not everything.

 

[miksar]

I'm just saying if some big fat guy walks up to a beautiful blonde expecting her to be interested in the slightest, then he's going to be sorely disappointed. You can be confident as you want, but other people have their own minds, and they can see your physical appearance is not up to their standards.

What if this beautiful blonde has a thing for fat guys? Or is not shallow and is impressed by how that guy is not afraid to approach her, how funny he is and how determined he sounds and looks?

 

[José Mourinho]

No it's not too hard for me. I'm just pissed off that I've been basically lied to all these years and whether or not it caused my weight problems it certainly hasn't helped them and will have been a contributing factor.

I don't know where you're from, I'm assuming the UK. As far as I'm aware, EU food laws are much more stick on what they can and can't have, particularly in regard to sugar. Could well be our products don't have the high fructose stuff you're on about.

What I said could be a load of rubbish, but I'm fairly certain I heard this summer.

 

[Vermillion]

What if this beautiful blonde has a thing for fat guys? Or is not shallow and is impressed by how that guy is not afraid to approach her, how funny he is and how determined he sounds and looks?

What if we got free money?

 

[Izick]

My ex girlfriend is with some fat guy now (at least all my female friends agree she definitely downgraded, and I could tell they were actually being honest about that). Now granted my ex was crazy, so it's a little different there, but still, I've seen weirder couples. I'm not saying looks don't matter at all, it's just that they aren't the only thing that's a factor. I don't think I'm that great looking myself. Guess what, I've had 2 dates with girls I've met online (and the second of those actually seems to be going somewhere). You know a huge part of online dating is the pics, as well as other factors, so obviously I did something right there.

The point is, looks do help, and do count for something, but are not everything.

It's hard to say, because you could be really humble and saying you're not great looking, or maybe you really aren't, but I have to say that online dating seems to be fairly bait and switch. I've never tried it myself, but a couple of my friends have, and they've gone with girls that looked great on the screen, and ended up looking not so great. Myspace angles and such.

 

[RawPower]

It's starting to become true.

See, at first they didn't come to me because I was in a sour mood all of the time.

Then I started to change my beliefs about myself and reality which in turn altered my mood and then a couple of weeks later I begin to notice that girls are actually initiating conversations with me. That wasn't happening at all during my fall semester (and I had some pretty lousy beliefs about myself during that time) but now it is during my spring semester.

Now of course, some of them are average looking, or just not my type, but there are a couple of cuties that I talk with from time to time.

Just for reference, what do you look/dress like?

 

[Danj]

I don't know where you're from, I'm assuming the UK. As far as I'm aware, EU food laws are much more stick on what they can and can't have, particularly in regard to sugar. Could well be our products don't have the high fructose stuff you're on about.

What I said could be a load of rubbish, but I'm fairly certain I heard this summer.

I don't know, I could easily see our supermarkets getting away with lying on the label and passing it off as something else. It bothers me that none of the food products I have in the fridge or the cupboard seem to list this fructose thing, that's what makes me think they're hiding it or lying about it somehow.

EDIT: oh yeah and yes I am from the UK.

 

[Izick]

What if this beautiful blonde has a thing for fat guys? Or is not shallow and is impressed by how that guy is not afraid to approach her, how funny he is and how determined he sounds and looks?

This is the thing that I hate the most.

It's NOT shallow to like someone due to their looks. Every single person has done it. You were initially attracted to your SO because of them, unless you were forced to be together due to school/work or something. You consciously thought "hey, they look pretty great; I should go talk to them."

 

[Hylian7]

What if we got free money?

You are missing the point. I reiterate: Looks are not everything, they help, but are not everything!

 

[Izick]

You are missing the point. I reiterate: Looks are not everything, they help, but are not everything!

I never said they were everything. I'm saying that they're an integral part of a relationship, and an even bigger factor in attracting someone romantically.