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Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
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Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
Recently I seem to exclusively fall for girls who are already happily committed. Most of them actually show interest I think, but they either dont want to let go of their bf's or I end up feeling like I'm not good enough and back off (yeah, I need to work on that).
Its hard to find that type of woman without a partner wrapped tightly around them. Cant blame them really, I wouldnt let go either. Fuck!
And the last ones that tried to hook up with me for a more serious relationship, I didnt care for. Bad luck, it sucks and does a number on your self-esteem.
Halcyon
Member
I would happily welcome the state of depression and loneliness accompanied with years of depression and aloneness(Which i was well aware of in my early 20s)
I however am in a state of loneliness coming out of a bad marriage and being a full time dad. Its very much more potent and in my gut at all times. No amount of anything the past 8 months has made the vast hole I feel seem manageable.
It's almost the sense of loss I would imagine a widow would feel. I can't numb this feeling of anxiety. Everything reminds me of my family and the times we shared making memories of a lifetime. Working for a future. Now its all just like a bad nightmare.
I however am in a state of loneliness coming out of a bad marriage and being a full time dad. Its very much more potent and in my gut at all times. No amount of anything the past 8 months has made the vast hole I feel seem manageable.
It's almost the sense of loss I would imagine a widow would feel. I can't numb this feeling of anxiety. Everything reminds me of my family and the times we shared making memories of a lifetime. Working for a future. Now its all just like a bad nightmare.
If you are the only dad they know and depend on and you actually care for them, that doesnt really matter.
But I'm not a father so take it as an advice from someone who cant relate. What I do know is that growing up without a mother and a somewhat absent father sucks if you dont have close family there to support you like I had.
Out of Working Order
Member
neojubei, you are not alone. I feel the same as you, but with women. Everytime I see a straight couple it makes me sink.
These days I find I am feeling angry a lot, and even find I am starting to strongly dislike women my age. I am frustrated.
I do think of suicide a lot, but I try to occupy my time with other things I can do by myself. I don't have a solution, but I'd ask you to find an activity you can enjoy in your spare time, and to change that awful call centre job you hate.
Put relationships out of your mind as much as you can for now. Your wellbeing should be the most important thing to you. Focus on you.
These days I find I am feeling angry a lot, and even find I am starting to strongly dislike women my age. I am frustrated.
I do think of suicide a lot, but I try to occupy my time with other things I can do by myself. I don't have a solution, but I'd ask you to find an activity you can enjoy in your spare time, and to change that awful call centre job you hate.
Put relationships out of your mind as much as you can for now. Your wellbeing should be the most important thing to you. Focus on you.
Agent Cooper
Member
So a few days back I had... I don't know what to call it.
But I guess screaming and crying on my bathroom floor in the dark isn't normal.
It was bad.
I just want to be happy.
But I guess screaming and crying on my bathroom floor in the dark isn't normal.
It was bad.
I just want to be happy.
The Take Out Bandit
Member
I can relate.
Usually mine comes on in the shower, which is really stupid as I'll start hopping up and down in soapy water freaking out.
Job is just killing my will to go on. I just show up and it feels like I'm walking into a den of parasites sucking my time and enthusiasm out of me. It's not a bad job. It's just getting long in the tooth, and I'm working for my benefits now.
Plus it's that time of year in Ohio where the weather goes to shit which isn't helping. Not seeing the sun is a bit shit.
Thinking of working through the end of the year to pay off bills then putting in my two week notice. Don't have anything lined up yet, but I've been casing Modesto California. Fuck seasons. Shit is overrated. I want to live somewhere that I can enjoy my remaining years on this planet. 365 days of productivity. I've noticed that when the weather cools my bodily fluids become more viscous now. BLECH!
I need the change. My friends have all gotten married or had kids. I'm still swinging paycheck to paycheck forever alone style, and honestly I don't mind it. I just want to live somewhere that isn't so fucking depressing. Where there are thousands of boarded up houses with the siding torn off, gangs of kids fighting in the street, and where I can come home and go for a fucking walk and get some exercise instead of holing up in my house until the daylight hours where I return to the soul crushing monotony that is the day job.
Getting old and set in your ways is kind of fun, but it's also shit when it becomes a wedge between yourself and your friends. :|
The reality of the situation is if I offed myself, nobody would really notice. Except perhaps some folks on message boards who would celebrate my absence while they go on with their lily white cozy lives.
I know that feel, girl. *hug*
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Argh, went to a boxing class today and it was awesome, I really really liked it. But then I found out about a $200 one-time signup fee + hour drive roundtrip + $65 monthly for a two year contract. Nope. You need money for everything in this world :\ guess I'm sticking with the backyard weight set.
I also wanted to do it because it was something social. I commute to college from my mom's house, the program I'm in is 99% male. And I just want to put myself in a situation where I can meet new people, especially girls. Because I get discouraged that I've never had the experiences I feel like I should've had. Went to an all-boys high school and then spent two years of college all depressed and alone. And now that I'm no longer suicidal and have better coping mechanisms and only get depressed maybe a quarter of what I used to, I can't seem to find any girls now. I do have an interview tomorrow at a restaurant, hopefully that goes well. It's for a server position and they make good money there, not to mention it's social.
I also wanted to do it because it was something social. I commute to college from my mom's house, the program I'm in is 99% male. And I just want to put myself in a situation where I can meet new people, especially girls. Because I get discouraged that I've never had the experiences I feel like I should've had. Went to an all-boys high school and then spent two years of college all depressed and alone. And now that I'm no longer suicidal and have better coping mechanisms and only get depressed maybe a quarter of what I used to, I can't seem to find any girls now. I do have an interview tomorrow at a restaurant, hopefully that goes well. It's for a server position and they make good money there, not to mention it's social.
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
I know the feel. Once I just sat on the floor of my room reclining on the wall crying
It sucked.
******
You know what guys. I wanted to say I've been feeling a bit better lately. I changed my eating habits, I don't know if that has anything to do with one's behavior, but I don't feel as depressed as before. Of course it will probably come back, but I feel that has some effect. Maybe I'm just imagining things.
If anyone would like someone to talk to, feel free to email me (or pm) at soyea7@yahoo.com. I'm not sure why I felt the need to post this...I suppose the idea that maybe I could help someone feel better is comforting. I think part of me just wants someone to talk to as well. Mark me down for the loner, never had a girl friend, feel like I don't belong crowd. As a guy in my mid twenties, I feel completely abnormal. Anyone else kind of wince when you hear someone say something along the lines of "that happens to everybody" or "everybody had that experience where..."? I am almost ALWAYS the outlier for stuff like that.
Anyway, I highly doubt I could tell you guys anything you don't already know, but if you want someone to vent or talk to, maybe make a new friend, contact me.
Anyway, I highly doubt I could tell you guys anything you don't already know, but if you want someone to vent or talk to, maybe make a new friend, contact me.
I know the feel. Once I just sat on the floor of my room reclining on the wall crying
It sucked.
******
You know what guys. I wanted to say I've been feeling a bit better lately. I changed my eating habits, I don't know if that has anything to do with one's behavior, but I don't feel as depressed as before. Of course it will probably come back, but I feel that has some effect. Maybe I'm just imagining things.
Yeah I remember crying in public during the beginning of my depression in college. I would just sit on the subway and i didnt care if people saw me crying. Granted I was studying abroad so that made it easier but I didnt care.
I'm feeling a little bit better too actually. This depression has been so random. But I think its getting better. I'm still not sleeping normally, but at least I'm not anxious all day or anything like I was just a week or so ago.
My birthday was more than a month ago but it was pretty similar.
As I spend it far from anyone I know, I don't have anything special to do.
My work, at the HQ of a major retailer, celebrates birthdays and employees receive a card signed by everyone, but I wasn't included. I spent all day waiting for it, and at the end I asked why I didn't receive one. The secretary just acted confused, and I left.
The next morning there was a sign on my front door with happy birthday, a card, a mini cake, balloons, people singing me happy birthday, and congratulations. That felt good. The only thing is that one of the female employees gave me a big hug. I realized at that point that I never had any physical contact with a woman, as far as I can remember. I was left stunned. But ultimately when I realized the former, it made me realize how cold and dreadful life feels when you lack someone else's warmth and physical touch from someone who cares for you, as I suspected.
I have not found anything special to occupy me with for a while at this point.
Today I went to shop for a suit, for a congress that will take place in about two months. It just felt so weird, doing something so important without anyone, then going out and doing more shopping on my own, eating on my own, coming back on my own... it is all I find to occupy myself with outside of work hours.
My life only consists of talking to acquaintances and people only very shallowly involved in my existence.
You should cut carbs from your diet.
Also, if you have poor circulation, you should drink some green tea, it's good for health in general and lowering blood sugar as well. Cayenne can be great for circulation as well.
I'm probably going to get some Matcha green tea today.
Also, the liver herbs supplementation really seems to keep me from becoming extremely despaired and hopeless like it did before. It is advertised as a mood elevator and really does seem to work. It's from a reputable company.
revolverjgw
Member
I'm also regretfully incapable of crying. Unless I'm watching something about animal abuse or a sick cat or something. Only then do the manly tears flow. I've had some life-altering miseries inflicted on me recently and can barely muster an emotion besides anger that subsides in seconds. Sometimes I just kind of sit there and chuckle at how bad my situation is. I feel very nihilistic (again, unless it's about cats).
And definitely count me in to the bad-birthday-brigade. I'm going to turn 30 before the end of the year. Although I always decline any sort of party, I have lots of family that always acknowledge it at Sunday meals or drop in for a quick visit. Usually I'm fine with that, they know I don't want the attention so they don't make a big deal of it, but this year I'm just totally dreading any acknowledgement whatsoever of this horrible milestone. My birthday is very near Christmas so I know I'm going to hear about it. Fuck.
And definitely count me in to the bad-birthday-brigade. I'm going to turn 30 before the end of the year. Although I always decline any sort of party, I have lots of family that always acknowledge it at Sunday meals or drop in for a quick visit. Usually I'm fine with that, they know I don't want the attention so they don't make a big deal of it, but this year I'm just totally dreading any acknowledgement whatsoever of this horrible milestone. My birthday is very near Christmas so I know I'm going to hear about it. Fuck.
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
It's a difficult thing for me to comprehend. I don't know how I could not cry. I mean. I don't do it that often, but I am a very emotional and empathetic person I guess. I've cried with many many movies too lol.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Agree on the carbs part (eating healthier is always good), but again stop trying to spread personal anecdote as scientific fact. Mental health science (especially medication) is already seen as voodoo to others and rife with misinformation and myths. If you want to suggest it go ahead, but from your tone, it seems like you are coming from an authorial perspective which may cause more harm than good.
If it's any consolation, I dreaded my 30th birthday for months before and once it hit, it was just another day.
I'm talking about what worked for me and what I think is worth investigating and potentially using as alternatives to anti-depressants, such as a connection between mood and the state of the liver. Anyone is then free to make their own research and conclusions.
I think it's only healthy to suggest to leave no stone unturned, and it is not silly to suggest that some problems that might appear psychological at first, really have mostly physical causes.
I think it's only healthy to suggest to leave no stone unturned, and it is not silly to suggest that some problems that might appear psychological at first, really have mostly physical causes.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
It's normal for a doctor to take a blood and liver funtion test as part of depression screening as liver disease can have similar symptoms, so it's easy to be confused.
Certainly. However, the liver is more important to the overall state of the body than people give it credit for, and so is the process of digestion and how "bloated" and "full" you feel. Especially since people eat far too many toxins nowadays. Liver disease really is a collection of various symptoms.
You certainly have nothing to lose by trying to adopt healthier life habits and try new things, I'm fairly confident we can agree on that much.
You certainly have nothing to lose by trying to adopt healthier life habits and try new things, I'm fairly confident we can agree on that much.
Agent Cooper
Member
I wasbna die
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
If you are depressed and you see no way out, I think the best thing to do is to accept to stop thinking about what makes you depressed for a moment. Breathe, and don't look for an answer today, just take it easy and let the day go by, there is no rush. It's better to think of these things on your own accord, and not when you feel down.
fredrancour
Member
I always feel like sleep makes me depressed. I am most likely to be useless first thing in the morning. let's see hwo long I can go without sleep. oh god so muc hwork to do.
The Take Out Bandit
Member
Agreed, but some times it's harder than just that.
I liken it to a crockpot filled with negative energy, negative thoughts, and the stupid shit people pour in there through the day. Especially if you have no outlet.
If it weren't for this highly active message board, I'd have little to no outlet. Which doesn't help when I'm at work feeling like Hell and just rolling with the punches.
Plus there's the off chance you won't articulate something fully, properly, or tone won't be conveyed and some cocks will come at you trying to start shit and just exacerbate your negative feelings.
I should seek a social outlet, but I'm sort of antisocial by nature and with the shit hours I work it only makes meeting people more challenging. Or meeting people who have any sort of ambition other than drink, fuck, and talk about local sports teams or inane bullshit.
I really hope the local Drink & Draw group doesn't go tits up like most fun and interesting things in this city tend to do. I really enjoyed just going somewhere after work and socializing with like minded people, drinking, and cranking out illustrations. I've been thinking of starting up a bi-weekly D&D myself, but I need to case a location and then get the god damn ball rolling.
Speaking of drinking, I'm down to a couple beers a night - because I enjoy the taste of beer. Should I knock that off for a while?
PwnCakes193
Member
I'm new to the thread, and sorta new with all this depression stuff.
I keep on getting overwhelmed with a lot of stuff I have to do for some reason or another. I smoke a bit, but to combat this depressive state I'm going to stay more clear minded. I just can't seem to get a grip on what the material in the classes are, and freaking out about upcoming midterms and stuff doesn't help either. The girl I've recently been seeing broke things off and things have just seemed a little bit less cheery without someone there.
I've been dieting and working out over the summer and lost 50 pounds in hopes of something to motivate me to get out, but nothing seems to get me to start leaving the dorm.
I also seemed to have lost most of my motivation to do most things, and I've been questioning my decisions a lot more than I would have in the past.
Any ideas on how to get out of a rut and come back swinging?
I keep on getting overwhelmed with a lot of stuff I have to do for some reason or another. I smoke a bit, but to combat this depressive state I'm going to stay more clear minded. I just can't seem to get a grip on what the material in the classes are, and freaking out about upcoming midterms and stuff doesn't help either. The girl I've recently been seeing broke things off and things have just seemed a little bit less cheery without someone there.
I've been dieting and working out over the summer and lost 50 pounds in hopes of something to motivate me to get out, but nothing seems to get me to start leaving the dorm.
I also seemed to have lost most of my motivation to do most things, and I've been questioning my decisions a lot more than I would have in the past.
Any ideas on how to get out of a rut and come back swinging?
ClassyPenguin
Banned
What's wrong?
A regular sleep schedule makes a huge difference, personally.
Months ago I was thinking that being alone was no big deal, but seriously, I can't take this anymore. I can't remember the last time I went to the art museum here, I suppose it was last year. It usually has some good exhibitions, but since recently, I just can't enjoy it. What's the point of geeking out about an art installation if I literally have no one to share it with? It's not fun, I don't know anyone who likes the same things I do. There're a shitload of movies coming soon and it's not interesting to go and see them by myself. I have friends, but to be honest I don't have a lot in common with them, we go to the movies and when we get out of the theater I want to talk about the characters, cinematography, just something and they're like "cool movie, right? let's do something else". Almost everything I do or like, is starting to become so fucking boring it's getting unbearable. It's sad, it's pathetic that I've met a lot of people and I haven't found someone to share my stuff with, not a SO, not even friends.
Aside from the fact that I don't fit anywhere, neither with straight or gay people and that my friendships are not exactly satisfying; as most people here, I don't think I'll ever have a chance to be with someone who really likes me. I don't think I'm ugly, but I look like a fucking 15 year old boy and no one takes me seriously. Really. The last time I remember there was someone who liked me, it was, well, some of my teachers, and by that I mean 50+ yo guys. Yeah, in plural, it's happened a lot. It seems I only have luck with much older guys, but no one around my age actually cares about me. And no, even if I like guys, I don't like the idea of being with an old man.
So I'm unemployed, I need new friends, I need a bf/gf, no one cares about me, I'm also sure that I should add my family to the list of people who don't care about me. My mom's a bitch always saying mean stuff that makes me feel worse. Only one of my friends realized I'm depressed, but I don't feel like telling him all of this and also he was quick to change the subject when that came up. I don't think he wants to hear this. The sad(dder) part of this is that everyone is always telling me their problems, supposedly I'm a good listener, and I'm always trying to help, but when I need it it's as if I don't know anyone. This is one of those moments when I feel so fucking bad I wish I could cry. Maybe it's all my fault. I want to sleep all day long just to forget about everything, but the last few days I've slept so much that I can't keep doing this.
Aside from the fact that I don't fit anywhere, neither with straight or gay people and that my friendships are not exactly satisfying; as most people here, I don't think I'll ever have a chance to be with someone who really likes me. I don't think I'm ugly, but I look like a fucking 15 year old boy and no one takes me seriously. Really. The last time I remember there was someone who liked me, it was, well, some of my teachers, and by that I mean 50+ yo guys. Yeah, in plural, it's happened a lot. It seems I only have luck with much older guys, but no one around my age actually cares about me. And no, even if I like guys, I don't like the idea of being with an old man.
So I'm unemployed, I need new friends, I need a bf/gf, no one cares about me, I'm also sure that I should add my family to the list of people who don't care about me. My mom's a bitch always saying mean stuff that makes me feel worse. Only one of my friends realized I'm depressed, but I don't feel like telling him all of this and also he was quick to change the subject when that came up. I don't think he wants to hear this. The sad(dder) part of this is that everyone is always telling me their problems, supposedly I'm a good listener, and I'm always trying to help, but when I need it it's as if I don't know anyone. This is one of those moments when I feel so fucking bad I wish I could cry. Maybe it's all my fault. I want to sleep all day long just to forget about everything, but the last few days I've slept so much that I can't keep doing this.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I feel you on most of this post man, especially the part about sharing the things you enjoy with someone and no one really caring or listening.
A few pages back, someone posted this statement, that depressed people actually hate themselves. It's not that the world hate us, it's just we hate ourselves.
I personally can relate to this. A few weeks ago was my birthday, that time I felt like crap, felt a little bit suicidal, just like my usual self. That day, 3 girls from my class actually remember my birthday, and asked me to celebrate together.
I'm very thankful for all of that, but I don't know why I still feel like a total crap. I feel I don't deserve all of that attention. I'm an introvert person and not very social. Sometimes I do feel lonely, but I really don't know how to connect with people. I can't get really close to someone, it's like what they called hedgehog dilemma.
Right now I really don't know how to get away from this HELL, I'm scared that sooner or later I might become more depressed and do something stupid.
I don't really want to go and seek help from doctor, because I don't want to be labeled as someone who has a mental disease. It would make my family sad and more worried about me. That's the last thing I want to happen to them.
Do you have any other suggestion on how to cure depression?
PS. sorry for all this random ramblings, I just need to vent out for a moment
I personally can relate to this. A few weeks ago was my birthday, that time I felt like crap, felt a little bit suicidal, just like my usual self. That day, 3 girls from my class actually remember my birthday, and asked me to celebrate together.
I'm very thankful for all of that, but I don't know why I still feel like a total crap. I feel I don't deserve all of that attention. I'm an introvert person and not very social. Sometimes I do feel lonely, but I really don't know how to connect with people. I can't get really close to someone, it's like what they called hedgehog dilemma.
Right now I really don't know how to get away from this HELL, I'm scared that sooner or later I might become more depressed and do something stupid.
I don't really want to go and seek help from doctor, because I don't want to be labeled as someone who has a mental disease. It would make my family sad and more worried about me. That's the last thing I want to happen to them.
Do you have any other suggestion on how to cure depression?
PS. sorry for all this random ramblings, I just need to vent out for a moment
fredrancour
Member
Yeah I know, I'm just trying to rationalize away the panic.
ThisWreckage
Banned
You are not alone. I'm 28 years old and I don't relate to anyone. While at work, I have to listen to people gossiping, bragging about their dates, and annoying me with their personal drama. Socially, I do have two friends, but they're honestly just minor distractions. I've been like this since I was 16 and I don't think there is a cure. Certain people are dealt a bad hand and we either deal with it or fold.
interesting, i hadnt wanted to either.. but my fear was... what if i see the dr.. and he tells me what i'm feeling is normal.. because if it's normal.. then holy fuck i dont want to be here anymore.
i went to the dr today.. after cancelling like 6 appointments after the last month
A mental disease is in many ways no different from a physical disease. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're a diabetic, you have to take certain medications and see certain doctors to function properly. Exact same thing with mental diseases like depression: you have to take certain medications and see certain doctors to function properly. Of course, there is one huge, unfortunate difference between mental and physical diseases: we have a far better understanding of the physical ones. Diabetic? Insulin. But if you're depressed? Shit, here's a couple dozen different types of pills, not all of them work for everyone, and it'll probably take you a few years to finally find the best combination for you.
It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. I cannot stress this enough, because I spent years being angry at myself for my illness. It just means that you have an extra hurdle to overcome.
Whatever effect you think it might have on your family if you are diagnosed with a mental disease, I guarantee you it would hit them unfathomably harder to walk into your room and find that you've done something stupid.
See a doctor. I recommend you start with a therapist or a psychologist - the underlined is an important distinction. They will likely recommend you to a psychiatrist.
Psychologists are generally friendly and will listen to your troubles and offer advice.
Psychiatrists are generally curt douchebags, but necessary curt douchebags because they're the ones who write the prescriptions.
Many people see a psychiatrist first, get some pills thrown at them, and say, "Oh, well that didn't help, maybe this mental health thing just isn't for me." That is a horrible mistake to make. See a psychologist.
I disagree that mental diseases always require medication. In this case they are different from physical diseases; what Insulin is to diabetics isn't the same as Benzos/SSRIs is to depression. They can temporarily help, but they won't solve the problem in the long run.
But I agree that seeing a psychotherapist (rather then a psychiatrist) should be the first step.
Vanillalite
Ask me about the GAF Notebook
This is going to sound weird, but I'm not usually a dreamer when I sleep. Yet ever since I started taking Fluoxetine I've been having dreams much more frequently.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Fuck social anxiety, fuck.
way more
Member
How do you solve depression? I'm sure everyone here would love to know how.
You learn to live with it by using medication and therapy. I'm really sick of how depression is the one disease that if you get medical help for something must be wrong with you.
Not to get too much into detail, but every person has dreams. Every night, multiples of them. The only difference is that some people remember more dreams/remember dreams better than others. You can also "train" that ability. Might just be that Fluoxetine affects your waking-up pattern so you're more likely to remember you dreams.
Collete
Member
I'm not sure if this is the right place, if not someone tell me and I'll take it off as an edit mistake.
I had many traumatic experiences over the course of my life that I won't go into; but suffice to say my trust in people is almost close to 0 as a result of these experiences.
Depression doesn't help these things at all especially when I think everyone is going to leave and betray me (funny enough, they eventually do out of no fault of mine...)
How do people trust in a friend or someone you know, keep in mind that depression is messing with you at the same time?
I had many traumatic experiences over the course of my life that I won't go into; but suffice to say my trust in people is almost close to 0 as a result of these experiences.
Depression doesn't help these things at all especially when I think everyone is going to leave and betray me (funny enough, they eventually do out of no fault of mine...)
How do people trust in a friend or someone you know, keep in mind that depression is messing with you at the same time?
I may not have had the traumatic experiences (well, maybe one), but I understand the lack of trust in people. It's been a while since I've genuinely trusted anyone, so I'd like to know as well.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
That's something that you build over years of time. Everyone has people they call "friends" who are really acquaintances that come and go. Real friends are people you have known for an extended period of time that would do the same for you as you would do for them. Trust in them is just something that develops over time...I know it can be hard to put your trust in someone else, especially when it has previously been violated. However, it is important to continue to reach out to others. Eventually you'll find that one person or group of people who you have complete confidence in and vice versa.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
You probably just didn't remember your dreams, that's fairly common.
Fusion Pizza
Member
So I kicked my marijuana habit, I was using it to put a cover over my depression and my problems, to avoid everything by just being numb, went through the whole irritability phase of the withdrawals and everything. I feel more level.
I'm still on the job search, it's really demoralizing when trader joes won't even call you back though. Someone's gotta give me a break though right?
I'm still on the job search, it's really demoralizing when trader joes won't even call you back though. Someone's gotta give me a break though right?
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