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I think I've been wiping wrong my entire life.

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Alebrije

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The right way

For 30 years of my life I was wiping.
Since about a year I'm always showering my ass after every poop. OMG SO MUCH BETTER.

I don't have a bidet at home.
I'm utilizing a technique where I sit on my legs on the outer edge of my bathtub so my poopihole is hovering free. Then I turbo it with the showerhead. 10/10 can recommend.

Came here for the ms paint diagrams and the "turbo my ass every morning" in the shower references — and was not disappointed.

Haha man, those were some legendary threads.
 
I wipe normally, in addition, in my house there's a sink within reach where I fold a sheet of toilet paper, wet it a bit then wipe. Then do again but with a drop of liquid soap thingy. Then again with normal toilet paper.

Ass feels fresh.
 
Christ. Use a bidet people. It's 2017. Stop smearing shit on yourselves.

If you got shit on your arm would you just smear it off with tissue and keep on trucking? No. Should be the same all over your body.

I'm not touching others with my butt like I would with my hands and arms.

It's just crap man. It's not the end of the world if we don't water our butt every time we poop. The vast majority of the US and various countries in Europe do not have bidets.
 
I'm not touching others with my butt like I would with my hands and arms.

It's just crap man. It's not the end of the world if we don't water our butt every time we poop. The vast majority of the US and various countries in Europe do not have bidets.

Yea and they all have smelly assholes. Nasty.
 

MrToughPants

Brian Burke punched my mom
Wiping between the legs is impossible unless you skipped leg day for life and have twig arms. Back to front stopping at the asshole and slip the finger in with TP digging anything out. Never had shit near my balls. Wipe until the paper is white or until there's a little blood and no shit on the TP. Also having your ass free of hair is recommended, wax or shave it. You can tell who has a dirty hairy asshole at the gym when you can smell their shitty ass when they walk by, sick fucks.

If you can count the number of women who have eaten your ass on one finger or less then you probably have a filthy asshole.
 
Yea and they all have smelly assholes. Nasty.
Except they really don't. I've lived 23 years in the US, and I've never encountered someone who smelled like crap. People who don't put on deodorant are the actual problem. Armpit stink is the true threat to our noses.

Bidets are nice on cutting down on paper use. The idea that people are way cleaner with them is just crazy.
 

Monocle

Member
Except they really don't. I've lived 23 years in the US, and I've never encountered someone who smelled like crap. People who don't put on deodorant are the actual problem. Armpit stink is the true threat to our noses.

Bidets are nice on cutting down on paper use. The idea that people are way cleaner with them is just crazy.
It's crazy to think people who wash themselves thoroughly with water are cleaner than people who scrub in the poop with dry paper?
 
I think the visual indicator is that you have toilet paper in your ass crack after you leave the bathroom.

No one can tell, just like no one can tell when a woman is wearing a sanitary napkin. It's only three sections' worth, neatly folded.

That sounds seriously very uncomfortable...

Seriously, people have really weird bathroom issues...I go, wipe and go on with my day. I see no reason to shower, wad paper into my butt or any other odd thing after using the bathroom. I wipe and go.

It's not uncomfortable at all. The added benefit is that I know that, lacking a shower, it helps to keep it as clean as it can possibly be.

On the subject of wiping, since this thread is already open, how many times do you typically need to wipe before you're clean? I find I have to wipe multiple times AND do multiple flushes so as not to clog the damn toilet. Am I unique in this? It's not uncommon for me to have to wipe like 5-6 times and still finding crap to wipe away. Is my ass in bad shape?

No, you're not. In total I wipe about eight times in total for each bowel movement. I find the paper in the crack really cleans up any residue and after my second set of wiping there's really nothing left at all. The wet wipes make sure that it smells as liitle like ass as possible.

I simply can't stand any kind of streaks in my underwear, ever.

Speaking of, just out of curiosity: How many of you have the occasional streak in your underwear after wiping, regardless of your wiping technique?
 

Mendrox

Member
No one can tell, just like no one can tell when a woman is wearing a sanitary napkin. It's only three sections' worth, neatly folded.



It's not uncomfortable at all. The added benefit is that I know that, lacking a shower, it helps to keep it as clean as it can possibly be.



No, you're not. In total I wipe about eight times in total for each bowel movement. I find the paper in the crack really cleans up any residue and after my second set of wiping there's really nothing left at all. The wet wipes make sure that it smells as liitle like ass as possible.

I simply can't stand any kind of streaks in my underwear, ever.

Speaking of, just out of curiosity: How many of you have the occasional streak in your underwear after wiping, regardless of your wiping technique?

Urgh dude...never ever. As a little kid yeah that happened but later? People eat your fruits (solves your wiping problem) or use a bidet. Taking a shit and having to wipe 8-20 times is not healthy.
 

velociraptor

Junior Member
Except they really don't. I've lived 23 years in the US, and I've never encountered someone who smelled like crap. People who don't put on deodorant are the actual problem. Armpit stink is the true threat to our noses.

Bidets are nice on cutting down on paper use. The idea that people are way cleaner with them is just crazy.
So if you got shit in your hands, would you just use some TP and call it a day, or would you wash with water?

Using TP only is extremely unhygienic - all you're doing is smearing fecal matter over your ass.
 

velociraptor

Junior Member
No one can tell, just like no one can tell when a woman is wearing a sanitary napkin. It's only three sections' worth, neatly folded.



It's not uncomfortable at all. The added benefit is that I know that, lacking a shower, it helps to keep it as clean as it can possibly be.



No, you're not. In total I wipe about eight times in total for each bowel movement. I find the paper in the crack really cleans up any residue and after my second set of wiping there's really nothing left at all. The wet wipes make sure that it smells as liitle like ass as possible.

I simply can't stand any kind of streaks in my underwear, ever.

Speaking of, just out of curiosity: How many of you have the occasional streak in your underwear after wiping, regardless of your wiping technique?

This is PRECISELY why you should have a shower after wiping your ass. Your 'technique' sounds terrible.
 

*Splinter

Member
On the subject of wiping, since this thread is already open, how many times do you typically need to wipe before you're clean? I find I have to wipe multiple times AND do multiple flushes so as not to clog the damn toilet. Am I unique in this? It's not uncommon for me to have to wipe like 5-6 times and still finding crap to wipe away. Is my ass in bad shape?
Once or twice. My poos are quite solid, so sometimes the paper comes back clean even after the first wipe.

Seeing people mention "spreading shit over your balls" or "fountaining shit over your showerhead" is quite an eye opener, to say the least.

Speaking of, just out of curiosity: How many of you have the occasional streak in your underwear after wiping, regardless of your wiping technique?
Literally never, unless I'm unwell and a "risky fart" goes awry.
 
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