• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dastardly Anal Smell

Status
Not open for further replies.
Rentahamster

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
cryptic said:
I've attempted to yoga myself for analysis
Click to expand...

6QU16b6.gif
 
C

cryptic

Member
These comments aren't helping, just stringing me through a series of highs and lows as I reposition from a simple chair squat to an odor concealing regular English sit.

If it's an anal infection I'll be damned, I'm not sure where that could have come from; if it's from the chair it will burn or be recycled.
If something in my ass exploded then I'm genuinely worried that my insurance won't cover those type of doctors.

I'm not ready to begin launching chemicals into my ass like I'm fighting a scourge just yet. I mean some of the shit suggested sounds drastic like that thing about jack daniels, cologne, and a vinegar combination, although I would prefer something more holistic so I might try vinegar and report back.
Apple Cider or sherry vinegar? Talcum powder for the aftermath?
 
C

cilonen

Member
Shared a tent with a buddy for three days at a festival many moons ago, to cut a long story short always remember to cleanse your belly button, especially if it's an inny. That shit be proper rank.
 
I

Iceman

Member
xtrasauce said:
5) If Lemmywinks is not back within 24 hours, send a rescue team of five more gerbils.
Click to expand...

This is reminds me that there should (honestly) be a checkbox on an E.R. admission form for "stuffed something into my butthole".. and that there should further be an additional box to inform doctors/nurses that the something may still be alive.
 
A

akira28

Member
vinegar and baking soda. First put a whole assload of baking soda in your ass, and then follow it up with some vinegar.
This will kill whatever is in your ass, possibly. After that you should probably seek medical attention. You should probably keep a phone handy.
 
S

Skeyser

Member
cryptic said:
These comments aren't helping, just stringing me through a series of highs and lows as I reposition from a simple chair squat to an odor concealing regular English sit.

If it's an anal infection I'll be damned, I'm not sure where that could have come from; if it's from the chair it will burn or be recycled.
If something in my ass exploded then I'm genuinely worried that my insurance won't cover those type of doctors.

I'm not ready to begin launching chemicals into my ass like I'm fighting a scourge just yet. I mean some of the shit suggested sounds drastic like that thing about jack daniels, cologne, and a vinegar combination, although I would prefer something more holistic so I might try vinegar and report back.
Apple Cider or sherry vinegar? Talcum powder for the aftermath?
Click to expand...

Yeah, I mean, its GAF, it's probably a good idea not to listen to the ''rub cologne until your butthole bleeds'' suggestion.
 
S

slit

Member
Maybe it's just like when a dog runs his butt across the carpet.

Your anal sacs are leaking!

Try scooting your bare ass across the carpet to leave your scent for other humans. That might get rid of it.
 
D

Dimefan3

Member
Congratulations, you've discovered farting.

Go see a doctor. I had a cyst on the back of my neck a few years ago, smelt terrible. The doctor cut it out in 2 minutes.
 
C

cryptic

Member
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention why this matter is so pressing. There's this girl I've met and this can't be there if I want to escalate the situation, I'd probably grab whatever off the shelf and douse it in there if worse came to worst but I'd prefer a more controlled elimination.

The smell has been off and on occurring for a few months after I tried an herbal laxative named cascara sagrada for constipation; it worked well and then this just appeared and now it's fucking me. My tongue is white, too, and my doctor prescribed nystatin, but after a month of use the white tongue remained.
Something is going on down there and I really need to get to the bottom.

EDIT: I'm usually clean, I'm Servsafe certified and all that so I'm very hygienically conscious; I thought I could come here soliciting help without all this laughter at my pain, but I guess all laughter is pain, oh well.
 
M

Mister Negative

Member
cryptic said:
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention why this matter is so pressing. There's this girl I've met and this can't be there if I want to escalate the situation, I'd probably grab whatever off the shelf and douse it in there if worse came to worst but I'd prefer a more controlled elimination.

The smell has been off and on occurring for a few months after I tried an herbal laxative named cascara sagrada for constipation; it worked well and then this just appeared and now it's fucking me. My tongue is white, too, and my doctor prescribed nystatin, but after a month of use the white tongue remained.
Something is going on down there and I really need to get to the bottom.
Click to expand...

did you tell your doctor about your smelly butt or just your messed up tongue
 
A

akira28

Member
yeah if you're on funky meds and using weird herbal laxatives, it's no wonder your ass smells funny.


edit: you have candida? so you have a nonspecific fungual infection as well? this just gets better an dbeter
 
S

slit

Member
cryptic said:
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention why this matter is so pressing. There's this girl I've met and this can't be there if I want to escalate the situation, I'd probably grab whatever off the shelf and douse it in there if worse came to worst but I'd prefer a more controlled elimination.

The smell has been off and on occurring for a few months after I tried an herbal laxative named cascara sagrada for constipation; it worked well and then this just appeared and now it's fucking me. My tongue is white, too, and my doctor prescribed nystatin, but after a month of use the white tongue remained.
Something is going on down there and I really need to get to the bottom.
Click to expand...

Ok pull back some. You're about to overplay your hand.
 
S

Shadybiz

Member
Mister Negative said:
Nah, pilonidal cysts aren't in your asshole.

If you had one of those you'd know about it. I had one. It wasn't pleasant.
Click to expand...

Yeah, they're typically right above...boy do I know.

OP, that might be worth checking out anyway. Just get in front of a mirror, spread the cheeks, and see if you see anything that you think shouldn't be there. A cyst would look pretty much like a tiny (if you're lucky) hole.

And yeah, they will start to stink if gone untreated.
 
C

cryptic

Member
slit said:
Ok pull back some. You're about to overplay your hand.
Click to expand...

Ok yeah, maybe, but I'm not just talking about my arse there, I'm starting to wonder if it's something to do with the stomach, too.

I wash fine, soap and all, clean shower, no barrel bucket tub in the wilderness; obviously this is a unique issue and no one can help. I'll book a doctor visit and see if maybe I can get antiobotics or something but I really don't have the money.
Oh well.
Happy New Years Gaf.

Shadybiz said:
Yeah, they're typically right above...boy do I know.

OP, that might be worth checking out anyway. Just get in front of a mirror, spread the cheeks, and see if you see anything that you think shouldn't be there. A cyst would look pretty much like a tiny (if you're lucky) hole.

And yeah, they will start to stink if gone untreated.
Click to expand...

Yeah I couldn't find anything weird like a new hole that beguiled me but I will put that down on my doctor issues pad.
 
t-storm

t-storm

Member
cryptic said:
I've attempted to yoga myself for analysis and constructed a chamber of mirrors but haven't really been able to get an eye through the forest so I'm not sure if there's a rash.
Click to expand...
Ew. Shave that shit and start using moist wipes. I've never used toilet paper since... and quite frankly, don't know how I ever put up with the concept of smearing shit around my ass with dry paper.
 
C

commedieu

Banned
cryptic said:
Ok yeah, maybe, but I'm not just talking about my arse there, I'm starting to wonder if it's something to do with the stomach, too.

I wash fine, soap and all, clean shower, no barrel bucket tub in the wilderness; obviously this is a unique issue and no one can help. I'll book a doctor visit and see if maybe I can get antiobotics or something but I really don't have the money.
Oh well.
Happy New Years Gaf.



Yeah I couldn't find anything weird like a new hole that beguiled me but I will put that down on my doctor issues pad.
Click to expand...

shave.

edit;

and go get checked out for diseases before sexual activity. Sounds like thrush on your tongue too?
 
P

PeakPointMatrix

Member
My bet is on a pilonidal cyst dude. You never mentioned if you were overweight or not? It might be obscuring it, especially with a hairy area, where they are prone to pop up. Does your work involve sitting for long periods of time? Also another contributing factor. In conclusion, go to a doctor. If it is a cyst, you absolutely must get it taken care of. The longer you wait, the more you're fucked. Do a quick search on GAF for pilonidal cysts (at your own risk) to see what you're potentially in for.
Divvy said:
LOL Source for this?

EDIT, nevermind found it
Click to expand...

Share with the class!

RC said:
So you're the man with the terrible smell.
Click to expand...

Revenge_of_the_Lutefisk.jpg
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

RTTP/LTTP: The (Mostly) Entire Canon of Resident Evil (on-going)
2 3
122
6K
TheInfamousKira replied
[Game Informer] Inside The Mind Of PlayStation Studios' Hermen Hulst
1
2K
wipeout364 replied
I Had a Pilonidal Cyst Removed Today
2 3
132
24K
maximum360 replied
What can Naughty Dog and Crystal Dynamics learn from each other?
6
3K
PaulBizkit replied
Western Video Game Music: A Primer
2 3
146
22K
EightBit Man replied
Top Bottom