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[kodecraft]

*Correct*

LMAO

Does it smell like a fist full of keys and dirty old pennies?

Isn't that how vagina smells?

Not sure if serious.

 

[Dawg]

Sigh... I guess it could help someone else too

Spoiler

I fold 2-3 squares of toilet paper and stick it up my butt all day. Usually change it out everytime I use the bathroom even if it's #1.

You have my condolences.

 

[Captain_Spanky]

My girlfriend just suggested you get yo' bitches* to use their tongues.

*N.B. I use bitch as a non-gender identifying noun to indicate the submissive in a BDSM friendly relationship.

 

[johnny_park]

Sigh... I guess it could help someone else too

Spoiler

I fold 2-3 squares of toilet paper and stick it up my butt all day. Usually change it out everytime I use the bathroom even if it's #1.

Seriously?

 

[Mammoth Jones]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

I stand by my previous statements:

1. Get that frothy soap lather all up in your asscrack.
2. Just wait 2-3 minutes and let that lather soak in.
3. Rinse, scrub.
4. And some baby powder on the booty never hurt anyone. (No moisture = No abundance of smelly bacteria)

 

[terrisus]

I was always upset that the puberty videos in elementary school never warned me about the constant dangers of skid marks after puberty.

So puberty leads to you no longer knowing how to clean yourself properly?

Seriously, people who have "skid marks" (aka. feces in their undergarments) are disgusting.

My girlfriend just suggested you get yo' bitches* to use their tongues.

*N.B. I use bitch as a non-gender identifying noun to indicate the submissive in a BDSM friendly relationship.

 

[velociraptor]

I'd have troubled days where I've gone through an entire roll of toilet paper thanks to a seemingly never ending supply of shit coming out from my anus.

I wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and wipe and there's still residue on the TP.

I only step in the shower if the TP is clean.

Speaking of TP, I am pretty wasteful. I use way too much.

 

[TheVampire]

This thread.

TMI

 

[Ryan242004]

Seriously?

Yeah... I hate my life sometimes... It's a pain literally but it's better than the alternative.

 

[wanders]

I thought its difficult to smell yourself

smelling like ass sees like my worst nightmare

 

[MORTALIS]

Go to the doctor, probably havePilonidal Cyst. I had the same thing, and the first symptom I noticed was the constant rancid smell that you're describing.

 

[Dawg]

I'd have troubled days where I've gone through an entire roll of toilet paper thanks to a seemingly never ending supply of shit coming out from my anus.

I wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and wipe and there's still residue on the TP.

I only step in the shower if the TP is clean.

Speaking of TP, I am pretty wasteful. I use way too much.

Shower daily and clean your buttocks with a washcloth.

 

[daviyoung]

Yeah... I hate my life sometimes... It's a pain literally but it's better than the alternative.

use tampons

 

[MORTALIS]

I'd have troubled days where I've gone through an entire roll of toilet paper thanks to a seemingly never ending supply of shit coming out from my anus.

I wipe, and wipe, and wipe, and wipe and there's still residue on the TP.

I only step in the shower if the TP is clean.

Speaking of TP, I am pretty wasteful. I use way too much.

 

[DeBurgo]

has OP tried expressing his anal glands?

 

[LiK]

the replies are killing me XD

 

[Yado]

Can't stop laughing at Aubrey's reaction. lol

 

[velociraptor]

Shower daily and clean your buttocks with a washcloth.

I shower daily and my boxers are pristine clean. However, there are rare occasions where I've had the 'wipe' problem. Probably occurs a couple of times a year.

 

[MORTALIS]

Can't stop laughing at Aubrey's reaction. lol

! Seriously the best part, none of them can hold it together.

 

[velociraptor]

Time to link to the old "liberating experience" post to blow your mind.

Hahaha, that guy is absolutely nuts.

I just browsed this thread and I'm startled. How do people get splashback on their T-shirts?

Whenever I go to the bathroom, I roll/lift my shirt (or top) and tuck it under my chin. I never let my clothes touch the toilet seat. I think that's pretty nasty to simply let it dangle.

 

[Arkos]

Wait you seriously tuck your shirt under your chin lol

 

[Dawg]

Hahaha, that guy is absolutely nuts.

I just browsed this thread and I'm startled. How do people get splashback on their T-shirts?

Whenever I go to the bathroom, I roll/lift my shirt (or top) and tuck it under my chin. I never let my clothes touch the toilet seat. I think that's pretty nasty to simply let it dangle.

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

Sigh... I guess it could help someone else too

Spoiler

I fold 2-3 squares of toilet paper and stick it up my butt all day. Usually change it out everytime I use the bathroom even if it's #1.

Have you seen a doctor? Whatever the problem is, I have to assume they wouldn't suggest sticking toilet paper up your ass as a remedy.

 

[MMaRsu]

You have set up mirrors but havent gotten an eye through the forest???


Hahah come on man wtf am I reading here lol

 

[Raxious]

jup, it's not a pleasant experience. I ended up with 3 of em, got surgery and had a massive open wound of 5 cm deep and 7 cm long. That happend in 2011, the wound closed 3 weeks ago. GG

 

[Ryan242004]

Have you seen a doctor? Whatever the problem is, I have to assume they wouldn't suggest sticking toilet paper up your ass as a remedy.

I have, his suggestion was to eat more fiber... But he's gone now so I may go back and see if someone new offers any other advice.

 

[enigmatic_alex44]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

if there's one kind of thread on Neogaf that can have me legit bust out laughing, it's a poop related thread. I find everything related to poop nasty, but I still remember that hilarious "instructional" gif someone made that was poorly drawn and showed how to clean your anus in a circular motion with a wipe. And the poster in a poop thread that says he dumps in the shower and then mashes it down the drain with his feet

 

[tfur]

Hyena butter.

 

[terrisus]

Sigh... I guess it could help someone else too

Spoiler

I fold 2-3 squares of toilet paper and stick it up my butt all day. Usually change it out everytime I use the bathroom even if it's #1.

Have you seen a doctor? Whatever the problem is, I have to assume they wouldn't suggest sticking toilet paper up your ass as a remedy.

According to Thunder Monkey, figs in your rectum might work.

 

[King Mystery]

Ever since reading about bidets a few months ago, I just fill the bathroom sink with soapy water when I'm done wiping, then hop on up there with my butt over the edge of the basin, soap up my hand and go to town. It's fantastic! My clothes stay fresher way longer and it completely eliminates the chance of stains in the case that you missed something. I was a wiper my entire life, but from now on I'm never not washing my butt in the sink after wiping again.

 

[cheesetom]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

if there's one kind of thread on Neogaf that can have me legit bust out laughing, it's a poop related thread. I find everything related to poop nasty, but I still remember that hilarious "instructional" gif someone made that was poorly drawn and showed how to clean your anus in a circular motion with a wipe. And the poster in a poop thread that says he dumps in the shower and then mashes it down the drain with his feet

i just spit my drink all over the keyboard
outrageous

 

[velociraptor]

Wait you seriously tuck your shirt under your chin lol

When shitting, of course I do. It's common sense. I can't be the only one, can I?

 

[Brakke]

So happy this got bumped.

 

[MrToughPants]

Dstrdly Pls

 

[No Love]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

if there's one kind of thread on Neogaf that can have me legit bust out laughing, it's a poop related thread. I find everything related to poop nasty, but I still remember that hilarious "instructional" gif someone made that was poorly drawn and showed how to clean your anus in a circular motion with a wipe. And the poster in a poop thread that says he dumps in the shower and then mashes it down the drain with his feet

haha isn't that Batgol? Pretty sure he's the shower-shitter

 

[terrisus]

Ever since reading about bidets a few months ago, I just fill the bathroom sink with soapy water when I'm done wiping, then hop on up there with my butt over the edge of the basin, soap up my hand and go to town. It's fantastic! My clothes stay fresher way longer and it completely eliminates the chance of stains in the case that you missed something. I was a wiper my entire life, but from now on I'm never not washing my butt in the sink after wiping again.

...

Remind me never to use the sink at your house.

 

[velociraptor]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

if there's one kind of thread on Neogaf that can have me legit bust out laughing, it's a poop related thread. I find everything related to poop nasty, but I still remember that hilarious "instructional" gif someone made that was poorly drawn and showed how to clean your anus in a circular motion with a wipe. And the poster in a poop thread that says he dumps in the shower and then mashes it down the drain with his feet

Sometimes.....

If i know im about to have a runny day i nude up and go straight from the toilet to the shower
rather than going through a roll of toilet paper

Also
Has anyone tried having a shit in the shower.....its a liberating experience...the warm water feels nice and when it drops to your feet you look down and watch it dissolve down the plughole will little mess...i can see why women like water births

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=97429382&postcount=31

A liberating experience.