Support NeoGAF

[Rewrite]

Oh my god. :lol :lol :lol

This whole thread.

 

[TwoDurans]

Easily my favorite thread of 2014! Lost it at "dial it up to turbo." My wife asked me what was so funny. I gave her a quick thread recap and she informed me that she longs for the day when our "gender is no longer required for the species to survive."

 

[Chibits12]

I get a chuckle each time I see this topic lol.

 

[DarkFlow]

Chemical Ali has put a curse on your ass.

Did you know he lived in a pink house? We took his house as a base for awhile when I was in Iraq in 2003.

 

[Darksol]

I can't argue with this. Mind = Blown.

 

[Futureman]

Easily my favorite thread of 2014! Lost it at "dial it up to turbo." My wife asked me what was so funny. I gave her a quick thread recap and she informed me that she longs for the day when our "gender is no longer required for the species to survive."

I know tons of girls who find potty humor funny.

 

[XT Vengeance]

Get one of these:

Dial it to turbo and squat over it. I turbo my asshole every morning.

Dammit, I had alreay been loosing it at this thread but this sent me over the edge. I laughed for at least a minute or two. Couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard.

 

[Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew]

THIS FUCKING THREAD!I LOVE YOU OP! I can't breathe!

 

[eudaemonic]

As long as you stick to 1 or 2 (MAX 3), you shouldn't have an issue.

Tell that to London.

 

[The Living Tribunal]

Don't shave that hair.

Jesus.

 

[Gibbo]

op just check it to be sure. I had the exact same symptoms as you before i was diagnosed with an anal fistula. Thought it was just a fungal infection, but it turned out that my anal glands were infected. The horrid smell was actually pus from inside which flowed out (i was assuming that the increased moisture was just due to sweat). Had to get it operated and my life was a living hell for the next 3 months. Ive since started excercising again- but not without a seton which still remains in where my wound is.

 

[Fattony12000]

"I'm sorry sir, the ass is going to have to come off."

 

[Shake Appeal]

I had a pilonidal cyst about 10 years ago.

You would know if you had one... because it hurts like a motherfucker to sit down. I was sitting on pillows.

I had no idea what it was.. and I sure as hell wasn't going to the doctor. So I took a shower and held a super hot was cloth over it. After a few minutes it fuckin exploded. The colors that were coming out were mind blowing. BRIGHT greens and yellows. Super thick goo. I was like WTF.

I kept a paper towel in my ass crack for a few days after. Haven't had it ever again.. thank god.

Good gracious.

 

[olore]

"I turbo my asshole every morning" must be the post of the century

 

[Opus Angelorum]

I know this can be a serious problem for some people, but a thread like this on GAF just seems to induce chronic laughter.

So funny.

 

[RionaaM]

I'd love to read the whole thread, but I'm afraid it may not be safe for work. Looks like I have some homework for tonight

 

[Sane_Man]

Beautiful. Well, not beautiful... but.. something.

 

[Futureman]

hmmm so last night I ate at a chinese buffet around 5 PM and then had McDonalds around 9 PM.

An hour or so after the McDonalds I could smell what I can only describe as what a burning bag of poo would smell like.

Not sure if this is similar to the OP, but at least I know it was most likely from a day of coffee and shitty food.

 

[phie]

OP, how are you doing? Is the situation less dastardly now?

 

[wsoxfan1214]

OP, how are you doing? Is the situation less dastardly now?

I'm relatively certain he said a few pages back that it went away. If you bothered to read, that is.

Unless I imagined that.

 

[Eusis]

I'm relatively certain he said a few pages back that it went away. If you bothered to read, that is.

Unless I imagined that.

He's been posting lately, so it didn't decommission him at any rate.

 

[phie]

I'm relatively certain he said a few pages back that it went away. If you bothered to read, that is.

Unless I imagined that.

Sure, I did read. The smell was in recession, OP said. But is it all good and dandy now, though? And what was the cause of the smell? So many questions...

 

[Grimm Fandango]

OP, how are you doing? Is the situation less dastardly now?

The smell overtook him in the night. He'll be missed. And his scent will be missed too.

 

[outunderthestars]

Dietary maybe? Are you having anal leakage?

This. Sounds like a dietary issue. Dairy and gluten seem to do the same to me.

 

[velociraptor]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

 

[LiquidMetal14]

Always shower after droppings.

 

[Jimmyfenix]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

Awesome bump bro

 

[SJRB]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

 

[ronito]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

This post was so important the poster searched for this thread and wrote a numbered list in order to convey his wiping strategy

 

[thenexus6]

How are you OP?

 

[pants]

One does not simply dry wipe

 

[Professor Renegade]

How are you OP?

Whatever happened to his dastardly anal smell? We may never know.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

I want to bring back dastardly as a popular adjective.

 

[DiscoJon]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

You can probably skip steps 1 and 2.

 

[PirateKing]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

Fist bump

 

[BMX Bandit]

This post was so important the poster searched for this thread and wrote a numbered list in order to convey his wiping strategy

Yeh but does he stand or sit?

 

[AlucardGV]

man, get a bidet.

 

[hateradio]

man, get a bidet.

Seriously, some of you are trying to hard

Spoiler

to get quoted

.

 

[hughesta]

Oh my god this thread is killing me

I'm going to die because of Dastardly Anal Smell.

 

[kingkitty]

Would you date a person who has dastardly anal smell?

 

[BinaryPork2737]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

Time to link to the old "liberating experience" post to blow your mind.

 

[Messofanego]

man, get a bidet.

 

[Ryan242004]

I have this issue as well and it sucks. It really determines what I do every day which is very limited outside of going to work. I have found a solution which fixes 90% of the problem but I don't know if I feel like sharing it in this thread lol.

 

[Two Words]

I was always upset that the puberty videos in elementary school never warned me about the constant dangers of skid marks after puberty.

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

It's called soap. You aren't suppose to use just water.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H05-k9fdYpw&feature=kp

 

[Professor Lich]

Thanks for the bump, forgot to sub this thread the first time around.

 

[Nimby]

How are we supposed to help you with no pics?

Serious Answer: Post pics or see a doctor.

Edit: Wow, I didn't notice dat bump.

 

[Hyams]

I have this issue as well and it sucks. It really determines what I do every day which is very limited outside of going to work. I have found a solution which fixes 90% of the problem but I don't know if I feel like sharing it in this thread lol.

You can't not share it now.

 

[Dawg]

This is why I always have a shower after I shit.

My method of success:
1. Dry wipe until clean
2. Wet wipe until clean
3. Hop in the shower. Spray my ass for a few minutes
4. Body wash
5. Shower
6. ???
7. Profit!

edit: Crap, realised this is an old ass thread. This is a bad bump.

I got this from here.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=114123802&postcount=265

(Posted today)

You can just skip 2 by using a washing cloth in the shower and entering the mines of moria latex glove style.

 

[Ryan242004]

You can't not share it now.

Sigh... I guess it could help someone else too

Spoiler

I fold 2-3 squares of toilet paper and stick it up my butt all day. Usually change it out everytime I use the bathroom even if it's #1.