Some stuff from Homer the Vigilante which is one of the best episodes ever imo.
Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection..
Lisa: you had a stamp collection?
*phone rings*
Nelson: Stamp collection? HA HA!
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CURSE YOU MAGIC BEANS!
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Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.
Kent: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer:[smug] Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Kent: [pause] Well, touche'.
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Cat Burglar: Hello, Kent. Hello, Homer -- my arch-nemesis.
Homer: Y'ello.
Cat Burglar: You
do realize who this is?
Homer: Uh...Marge?