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[Armaros]

Am I properly reading this chart to say 57.7% -- an actual majority -- of marriages with an American-raised Korean woman are with a American-raised white man?

If both spouses are US raised, yes.

 

[lightskintwin]

.

Damn, GRIMES with that rebuttal.

 

[Infinite]

Yeah, it's an eye opener that's for sure.

Yo, that's gotta be some internalized racism going on, Western media brainwashing, and putting White men on a pedestal playing a part there.

I wouldn't go there personally. We live in a pretty patriarchal society after all

 

[lightskintwin]

I wouldn't go there personally. We live in a pretty patriarchal society after all

Did you see that US born Korean and Filipino women percentage that don't marry Korean and Filipino men but marry Us born White men?

That's a HUGE imbalance.

 

[ginger ninja]

i am at a loss for words

I am sorry but I can definitely feel a hint of jealousy in the way she wrote his article, especially when you know that the author knew when writing the article that It's a fucking autobiographical account.

Most normal people look at a normal interracial romantic comedy and say wow that's cute or wow good for them. And then we have people like this who go wow look this brown guy lusting after white women. When am I gonna get a white guy who likes brown girl. This is all definitely media's fault.

Using this movie as a springboard for making a however valid point is just a bad, bad look.

 

[Cagey]

If both spouses are US raised, yes.

Right that's what I meant: both partners raised in America. I clumsily worded my description.

Jesus Christ. I knew statistically, and observed anecdotally, that the pairing happens at a decent enough rate... but I'd have never thought it was the outright majority.

 

[Armaros]

.

Because by and large the various Asian populations in the US are still mostly immigrants instead of seated later generations of US raised populations.

Is the author bracing her argument from the perspective of immigrant's marriages and their representation in media?

 

[Takuan]

Are there more statistics that show that, other than Okcupid? I would like to read them.

There were two, and both were from online dating sites/apps. The one that wasn't OKCupid had a sample size of 2.4 million, though - pretty significant. Maybe it's not a be-all-end-all study, but I can't hand-wave the evidence either. Marmalade's on-point.

 

[Infinite]

Did you see that US born Korean and Filipino women percentage that don't marry Korean and Filipino men but marry Us born White men?

That's a HUGE imbalance.

So you would conclude that that's on Asian women being self hating as opposed to white men aggressively seeking Asian women as partners?

 

[riotous]

I am sorry but I can definitely feel a hint of jealousy in the way she wrote his article, especially when you know that the author knew when writing the article that It's a fucking autobiographical account.

Most normal people look at a normal interracial romantic comedy and say wow that's cute or wow good for them. And then we have people like this who go wow look this brown guy lusting after white women. When am I gonna get a white guy who likes brown girl. This is all definitely media's fault.

Using this movie as a springboard for making a however valid point is just a bad, bad look.

Well she said she liked the movie, that it deserved praise, etc.

I don't know why anyone would get so caught up in the fact she used this movie as a springboard as you say. You are pointing out something the author already knows (and something everyone here said).

And really, there's an underlying point here... why was this particular auto-biographical story chosen for a film? It's likely partially due to the fact it portrays an interracial relationship, and particularly that it stars a white woman.

I think there's nothing wrong with the film itself, and the author of this article seems to think so to.

It's just something currently in the media that was used as a starting point for a conversation.

 

[lightskintwin]

So you would conclude that that's on Asian women being self hating as opposed to white men aggressively seeking Asian women as partners?

I don't know, possibly a combination of both coupled with White men being at the top of the social and western beauty scale and perpetuated as desirable by Western media, and Asian mean being emasculated in Western media and perpetuated in stereotypes as being nerdy and/or asexual and never viewed as desirable.

 

[hawk2025]

Well she said she liked the movie, that it deserved praise, etc.

I don't know why anyone would get so caught up in the fact she used this movie as a springboard as you say. You are pointing out something the author already knows (and something everyone here said).

And really, there's an underlying point here... why was this particular auto-biographical story chosen for a film? It's likely partially due to the fact it portrays an interracial relationship, and particularly that it stars a white woman.

I think there's nothing wrong with the film itself, and the author of this article seems to think so to.

It's just something currently in the media that was used as a starting point for a conversation.

Right, nothing to do with her almost fucking dying from a fucking undiagnosed disease and him meeting and bonding with her parents, despite massive cultural clash, while she lay in her deathbed right after they broke up.


Nope. The movie was picked up because she's white.


The problem with using something as a springboard is that you step on it.

 

[excelsiorlef]

I am sorry but I can definitely feel a hint of jealousy in the way she wrote his article, especially when you know that the author knew when writing the article that It's a fucking autobiographical account.

Most normal people look at a normal interracial romantic comedy and say wow that's cute or wow good for them. And then we have people like this who go wow look this brown guy lusting after white women. When am I gonna get a white guy who likes brown girl. This is all definitely media's fault.

Using this movie as a springboard for making a however valid point is just a bad, bad look.

Yeah and it's all because she can't get a man...

Come on.

 

[Takuan]

So you would conclude that that's on Asian women being self hating as opposed to white men aggressively seeking Asian women as partners?

I'd conclude there are cultural and socioeconomic reasons for Asian women to seek out white men.

East Asian men from my parents' generation are known to be boors. For example, domestic abuse was a problem in Korea not too long ago, to the extent the government had to acknowledge it and do PSAs telling husbands it's not okay to beat their wives/daughters.

Edit: East, not Southeast.

 

[Armaros]

Well she said she liked the movie, that it deserved praise, etc.

I don't know why anyone would get so caught up in the fact she used this movie as a springboard as you say. You are pointing out something the author already knows (and something everyone here said).

And really, there's an underlying point here... why was this particular auto-biographical story chosen for a film? It's likely partially due to the fact it portrays an interracial relationship, and particularly that it stars a white woman.

I think there's nothing wrong with the film itself, and the author of this article seems to think so to.

It's just something currently in the media that was used as a starting point for a conversation.

It was probably pitched because it WAS autobiographical and had more pull then 'random romantic comedy staring an Asian man In the couple' which has probably negative pull in Hollywood.

 

[lightskintwin]

Right, nothing to do with her almost fucking dying from a fucking undiagnosed disease and him meeting and bonding with her parents, despite massive cultural clash, while she lay in her deathbed right after they broke up.


Nope. The movie was picked up because she's white.

Not that i care one way or the other, but do you not think the producers of this film thought it was more marketable because it also had a white lead and felt more comfortable funding the movie?

How marketable do you think the producers would've felt if it was an all South Asian cast including the love interest?

 

[riotous]

Right, nothing to do with her almost fucking dying from a fucking undiagnosed disease and him meeting and bonding with her parents, despite massive cultural clash, while she lay in her deathbed right after they broke up.


Nope. The movie was picked up because she's white.


The problem with using something as a springboard is that you step on it.

Jesus, chill the "fuck" out.

The movie has an interesting story; there are plenty of interesting stories concerning minority only relationships that are less likely to be made than ones involving white people.

It's called paraphrasing; if you think the fact the movie involved a white person didn't make it an easier sell to Hollywood.. I just don't know what to say.

It was probably pitched because it WAS autobiographical and had more pull then 'random romantic comedy staring an Asian man In the couple' which has probably negative pull in Hollywood.

Yeah definitely.

Should be pretty obvious I didn't mean literally "Movie has white woman".. "Sold!"

 

[RastaMentality]

If you think the studies about black women being least desired are a lie, you should probably talk to a black woman.

 

[hawk2025]

Jesus, chill the "fuck" out.

The movie has an interesting story; there are plenty of interesting stories concerning minority only relationships that are less likely to be made than ones involving white people.

Fuck

No, I won't chill out while people step on others that were in their deathbed and wrote a movie about it, thank you very much.

You diminish someone's suffering, tribulations and accomplishments to make a point about this particular project (with no evidence) on their backs. Don't expect me to take that calmly -- it's disgusting.

 

[Infinite]

I'd conclude there are cultural and socioeconomic reasons for Asian women to seek out white men.

SE Asian men from my parents' generation are known to be boors. For example, domestic abuse was a problem in Korea not too long ago, to the extent the government had to acknowledge it and do PSAs telling husbands it's not okay to beat their wives/daughters.

That's fair but I would have to ask would American born Asian women have any connection or knowledge of the issues you raise and would that even apply to American born Asian men?

 

[Kin5290]

Yeah, it's an eye opener that's for sure.

Yo, that's gotta be some internalized racism going on, Western media brainwashing, and putting White men on a pedestal playing a part there.

How are Filipino and Korean marriage practices? Because if they are oppressive enough on women, I can see American born women from such cultures dating white American to escape their family.

 

[riotous]

No, I won't chill out while people step on others that were in their deathbed and a wrote a movie about it, thank you very much.[

Nobody did that, whatsoever. You literally responded to a post where I said "I think there's nothing wrong with the film itself, and the author of this article seems to think so to. "

So yeah, chill out.

You diminish someone's suffering, tribulations and accomplishments to make a point (with no evidence) on their backs. Don't expect me to take that calmly -- it's disgusting.

Jesus.

 

[Imm0rt4l]

If you think the studies about black women being least desired are a lie, you should probably talk to a black woman.

They'd probably dismiss the black womans opinion tbh.

 

[Marmaladefire]

I'm sorry, but this is complete bullshit.

that comment is not grounded in reality

Come back and @ me when you've lived in a black female body, seen people actively berate themselves, and try to rationalize attraction to you, been called "pretty for a black girl", had people amazed you weren't half Asian, had to hear men of ALL races generalize every woman who looked like you as ugly, then laugh, seen how different your female friends of other races are treated, been called "aggressive" or "sassy" for literally every fucking thing, been gawked at, punished, fetishized, or had people sympathetic because they couldn't possible know what to do with your "natural" features. Had your look and culture appropriated by white women who suddenly become "hot" and "thick" for the things that make you ugly. And then on top of all of that, add the realization that in comparison to many women like you, you are considered "palatable" to the dominate culture and see it get SO MUCH WORSE for those who aren't. Until then, idk fuck off or something.

 

[lightskintwin]

How are Filipino and Korean marriage practices? Because if they are oppressive enough on women, I can see American born women from such cultures dating white American to escape their family.

So you mean to tell me it's all on these US born Filipino and Korean men that's causing it? I think as with a lot of issues, it's complicated and can't be simplified to just one thing.

 

[Jest Chillin]

Come back and @ me when you've lived in a black female body, seen people actively berate themselves, and try to rationalize attraction to you, been called "pretty for a black girl", had people amazed you weren't half Asian, had to hear men of ALL races generalize every woman who looked like you as ugly, then laugh, seen how different your female friends of other races are treated, been called "aggressive" or "sassy" for literally every fucking thing, been gawked at, punished, fetishized, or had people sympathetic because they couldn't possible know what to do with your "natural" features. Had your look and culture appropriated by white women who suddenly become "hot" and "thick" for the things that make you ugly. And then on top of all of that, add the realization that in comparison to many women like you, you are considered "palatable" to the dominate culture and see it get SO MUCH WORSE for those who aren't. Until then, idk fuck off or something.

Immort4l was saying that Khaos comment wasn't grounded in reality. Not yours.

 

[Kin5290]

So you mean to tell me it's all on these US born Filipino and Korean men that's causing it? I think as with a lot of issues, it's complicated and can't be simplified to just one thing.

Or their first generation immigrant parents. It could be a possibility in some cases, although maybe not in those subgroups specifically. I don't know.

 

[Dash_Riprock]

As a black woman, AKA the least loved, most unworthy, ugly and dehumanized class of person in society, I can see where the author is coming from.

that comment is not grounded in reality

I'm sorry, but this is complete bullshit.

Come back and @ me when you've lived in a black female body, seen people actively berate themselves, and try to rationalize attraction to you, been called "pretty for a black girl", had people amazed you weren't half Asian, had to hear men of ALL races generalize every woman who looked like you as ugly, then laugh, seen how different your female friends of other races are treated, been called "aggressive" or "sassy" for literally every fucking thing, been gawked at, punished, fetishized, or had people sympathetic because they couldn't possible know what to do with your "natural" features. Had your look and culture appropriated by white women who suddenly become "hot" and "thick" for the things that make you ugly. And then on top of all of that, add the realization that in comparison to many women like you, you are considered "palatable" to the dominate culture and see it get SO MUCH WORSE for those who aren't. Until then, idk fuck off or something.

Its not a competition, people...

 

[Imm0rt4l]

Come back and @ me when you've lived in a black female body, seen people actively berate themselves, and try to rationalize attraction to you, been called "pretty for a black girl", had people amazed you weren't half Asian, had to hear men of ALL races generalize every woman who looked like you as ugly, then laugh, seen how different your female friends of other races are treated, been called "aggressive" or "sassy" for literally every fucking thing, been gawked at, punished, fetishized, or had people sympathetic because they couldn't possible know what to do with your "natural" features. Had your look and culture appropriated by white women who suddenly become "hot" and "thick" for the things that make you ugly. And then on top of all of that, add the realization that in comparison to many women like you, you are considered "palatable" to the dominate culture and see it get SO MUCH WORSE for those who aren't. Until then, idk fuck off or something.

Just so you know I'm in 100% agreement with you

Immort4l was saying that Khaos comment wasn't grounded in reality. Not yours.

.

Its not a competition, people...

*eye roll

 

[excelsiorlef]

Its not a competition, people...

No but it is reality

 

[lightskintwin]

Come back and @ me when you've lived in a black female body, seen people actively berate themselves, and try to rationalize attraction to you, been called "pretty for a black girl", had people amazed you weren't half Asian, had to hear men of ALL races generalize every woman who looked like you as ugly, then laugh, seen how different your female friends of other races are treated, been called "aggressive" or "sassy" for literally every fucking thing, been gawked at, punished, fetishized, or had people sympathetic because they couldn't possible know what to do with your "natural" features. Had your look and culture appropriated by white women who suddenly become "hot" and "thick" for the things that make you ugly. And then on top of all of that, add the realization that in comparison to many women like you, you are considered "palatable" to the dominate culture and see it get SO MUCH WORSE for those who aren't. Until then, idk fuck off or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnfhj0NrpAw

 

[LionPride]

Also that title change is awful

 

[Marmaladefire]

Just so you know I'm in 100% agreement with you



.

Oh! Yeah I realized, I was just kind of highlighting your response to his response.

It's not a competition! Because no one else is even close in the running for "most likely to be thrown under the bus." Every month there are like 5 famous black men who come out of the woodwork to post a video about how they don't "fuck with black women" anymore, and to "get you a white woman" as if anyone asked about their crusty opinions. Nobody else deals with that! What other racial group, men or women, gets disparaged in public by people of note belonging to their opposite gender? (not, like, reddit trolls) It's not really a contest I want to be winning!

So It's just baffling to me how anyone can not acknowledge the tendency of men of color in general to bear disdain for the women in their cultures and communities. You're all familiar with that incel creep mindset, and can see that it's toxic. Bullshit about "western white women" being trash and "finding a submissive woman", etc. to assert their dominance. It's the same thing, but no one cares when brown women are being wholesale discarded. That's the kind of irritation that breeds articles like this. It's not an outlier opinion, and it's not some racist opinion that this one writer holds. If you brought this up in a space of WOC past first generation cultural insulation, they would all have a lot to say along similar lines.

 

[Takuan]

That's fair but I would have to ask would American born Asian women have any connection or knowledge of the issues you raise and would that even apply to American born Asian men?

Because chances are high those womens' parents weren't born in America, and have family who weren't born in America / live in America. Even if it doesn't apply to Asian-American males, you can understand that the trauma is enough to dissuade them.

There's also a good chance they came from humbler beginnings, making them hungrier to climb the socioeconomic ladder. Even discounting elements of Western worship, it makes practical sense.

If you think the studies about black women being least desired are a lie, you should probably talk to a black woman.

Like Marmalade, an actual black woman!

SE Asian

Korea

Oops, EAST Asian. My mistake.

 

[M52B28]

Also that title change is awful

It really is; just as bad as the original.

 

[Timeaisis]

What a title change.

 

[wandering]

I'd conclude there are cultural and socioeconomic reasons for Asian women to seek out white men.

SE Asian men from my parents' generation are known to be boors. For example, domestic abuse was a problem in Korea not too long ago, to the extent the government had to acknowledge it and do PSAs telling husbands it's not okay to beat their wives/daughters.

SE Asian

Korea

quoi?

 

[lightskintwin]

Oh! Yeah I realized, I was just kind of highlighting your response to his response.

It's not a competition! Because no one else is even close in the running for "most likely to be thrown under the bus." Every month there are like 5 famous black men who come out of the woodwork to post a video about how they don't "fuck with black women" anymore, and to "get you a white woman" as if anyone asked about their crusty opinions. Nobody else deals with that! What other racial group, men or women, gets disparaged in public by people of note belonging to their opposite gender? (not, like, reddit trolls) It's not really a contest I want to be winning!

So It's just baffling to me how anyone can not acknowledge the tendency of men of color in general to bear disdain for the women in their cultures and communities. You're all familiar with that incel creep mindset, and can see that it's toxic. Bullshit about "western white women" being trash and "finding a submissive woman", etc. to assert their dominance. It's the same thing, but no one cares when brown women are being wholesale discarded. That's the kind of irritation that breeds articles like this. It's not an outlier opinion, and it's not some racist opinion that this one writer holds. If you brought this up in a space of WOC past first generation cultural insulation, they would all have a lot to say along similar lines.

But really the famous Black men that share those opinions openly are usually trash. Although I'm not gonna act like I haven't heard the sentiment among my friends.

 

[Marmaladefire]

But really the famous Black men that share those opinions openly are usually trash.

I always feel like they've done us a favor, honestly. While nobody likes being dragged in public, I just feel a strange weight lifted when I hear some disastrous mumble rapper or drugged wash up saying they won't be bothering black women in the streets/club/supermarket anymore.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

No, I won't chill out while people step on others that were in their deathbed and wrote a movie about it, thank you very much.

You diminish someone's suffering, tribulations and accomplishments to make a point about this particular project (with no evidence) on their backs. Don't expect me to take that calmly -- it's disgusting.

You're living a delusion if you think "white girl love interest" isn't part of why this movie is coming to big screens. I'm so tired of these bullshit ass concern trolling bad faith arguments. Who the fuck actually thinks this same movie with a brown guy and a black woman gets into major theatres?

What fuckin planet do we live on where this even deserves to be entertained as a valid talking point? How many examples of hollywood doing this same shit over and over do we need to make? Aint no one saying it isn't a good story. But you sure as hell have a bunch of minorities telling you this exact same story doesn't get made without the white girl. If that offends you good. Welcome to reality.

 

[lightskintwin]

I always feel like they've done us a favor, honestly. While nobody likes being dragged in public, I just feel a strange weight lifted when I hear some disastrous mumble rapper or drugged wash up saying they won't be bothering black women in the streets/club/supermarket anymore.

Although i have to apologize for Tommy Sotomayor, who I was best friends for over a decade, for making a career over it. We really had no idea that's how he end up.

 

[Ampersands]

I don't have much to contribute to this thread other than bring up the incident where that BBC correspondent's kids interrupted his interview. Most people, including me, first thought that the woman who entered was the nanny instead of the mother. There's something to be said about media conditioning and the fact that the woman wasn't initially seen as a viable partner to the correspondent.

EDIT: And change the thread title back. There's real discussion to have on this topic and the title makes it seem like a joke.

 

[Takuan]

A bit more on-topic, I'm curious how the writer feels about The Mindy Project; as far as I know, Kaling's character has only had relationships with white men. How do y'all feel about that?

I've literally heard people say they wrote off the show because it's like she took the (sex) life she wished she had and made a series out of it ("The show's about her banging hot white guys she could never land in real life").

 

[Seesaw15]

Also that title change is awful

Come on mods come get yer man. Awful title.

 

[lightskintwin]

A bit more on-topic, I'm curious how the writer feels about The Mindy Project; as far as I know, Kaling's character has only had relationships with white men. How do y'all feel about that?

I've literally heard people say they wrote off the show because it's like she took the (sex) life she wished she had and made a series out of it ("The show's about her banging hot white guys she could never land in real life").

The author actually brings it up in the article and makes an argument on why it's different.

 

[eggandI]

Good piece. Any time I see so called "pro-black" brothers or hotep ninjas with a white woman in tow I give em the side eye cause I know IRL they on that

but online it's queen this and queen that

You can't be pro-black if you'll take the first white woman with a fetish over any of the millions of single black women out there.

 

[lightskintwin]

Good piece. Any time I see so called "pro-black" brothers or hotep ninjas with a white woman in tow I give em the side eye cause I know IRL they on that

but online it's queen this and queen that

You can't be pro-black if you'll take the first white woman with a fetish over any of the millions of single black women out there.

That's why Pac dumped Madonna. LOL

 

[Takuan]

The author actually brings it up in the article and makes an argument on why it's different.

Ah, I only read the OP snips. For those who were wondering:

A South Asian man rejecting a South Asian woman because of her culture is a more radical statement than if it were the other way around. In The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling's onscreen relationships with white guys take on a different context, because South Asia is a patriarchy—a colorist patriarchy. In an already-skewed power dynamic, depicting South Asian women as unworthy romantic partners is a radical rejection of their cultural baggage because women are the bearers of culture.

It reads more like a statement than an argument, but I guess the article isn't really about Asian Female / White Male depictions in media. Does anyone know what a colorist patriarchy is?

You can't be pro-black if you'll take the first white woman with a fetish over any of the millions of single black women out there.

I don't understand this statement. Why would you assume the brother jumped at the chance to be with a white woman, or that the white woman has a fetish? And how is he not pro-black if he happens to find a soulmate outside his ethnicity?

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

Ah, I only read the OP snips. For those who were wondering:



Does anyone know what a colorist patriarchy is?

A male-led society in which lighter-skinned people are treated better

 

[Llyranor]

The author actually brings it up in the article and makes an argument on why it's different.

It's different, but also a generalization. According to some of these articles, South Asian culture is an abusive patriarchy, so brown women dating white guys is fine. But brown men aren't allowed to also reject that patriarchy? The patriarchy affects both genders.

If we accept that there are ('Westernized') brown men that aren't abusive, how could we simultaneously accept that rejecting all brown men because of their potential abusiveness to date white guys is also valid?