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[MikeyB]

Interesting topic but I have to stay out of it because I am a white dude married to an asian woman. In some circles, I am the problem.

 

[D i Z]

Interesting topic but I have to stay out of it because I am a white dude married to an asian woman. In some circles, I am the problem.

I mean, you can adopt that stance if you want to. But you have a perspective on the subject that could be useful.

 

[PK Gaming]

Interesting topic that's worth discussing, but the author is so damn vitriolic (calling Master of None a masturbatory fantasy, really?) it's pretty much impossible to take her stance seriously.

 

[Keri]

It's good that interracial relationships are normalized, but I see the author's point. Aren't the vast majority of relationships intraracial? There should be a better representation of that fact, in media. It would also give minority women more opportunities.

 

[Jest Chillin]

Don't pay too much attention to it, I am gobsmacked at the silliness here as well. People aren't getting how offensive the OG title was to mixed raced people. Best not to think about it and just love who the hell you want.

The old title was the title of the article and that was clickbait. I'm a mixed race person in a mixed race marriage and I don't see how the title was offensive outside of the clickbait nature.

Like forreal I'm having trouble connecting the title, about films to being offended as a mixed race person or what any if that has to do with the person you quoted, who is primarily talking about where he fits in political labels given his social ideology.

 

[MikeyB]

I mean, you can adopt that stance if you want to. But you have a perspective on the subject that could be useful.

My perspective is that I get judged for being married to an asian woman. Several white women have assumed I have some sort of asian fetish while a couple of my asian friends were surprised that I have been inconsistent in dating a particular race (even more surprised when they found out I had long term relationships with black women). Some dudes have made comments suggesting that I must be "underendowed". There seems to be some identity politics view that suggests that I am furthering the patriarchy, and r/hapas makes me irrationally worry about hiw my kids will fare.

All that said, I am glad that almost all of my friends are now Hong Kong chinese. They don't give a shit for the most part.

In any case, being a white male in a relationship that is seen as some stereotypical power or cultural dynamic makes me uncomfortable about it sometimes and I find myself adopting a colour-blind approach to race more than I can rationally justify (because it ignores politics and history and systemic prejudice).

 

[MoFoJones99]

You can be pro-black with a white women. You just can't be slandering black women to make white women seem better.

Yup.

 

[Cuburt]

The old title wasn't a good way to start a productive discussion on the topic the article was (imo poorly) attempting to address problematic media, but as a mixed race person myself, I don't really think the thread title change is any more productive for discussion.

 

[Cagey]

My perspective is that I get judged for being married to an asian woman. Several white women have assumed I have some sort of asian fetish while a couple of my asian friends were surprised that I have been inconsistent in dating a particular race (even more surprised when they found out I had long term relationships with black women). Some dudes have made comments suggesting that I must be "underendowed". There seems to be some identity politics view that suggests that I am furthering the patriarchy, and r/hapas makes me irrationally worry about hiw my kids will fare.

All that said, I am glad that almost all of my friends are now Hong Kong chinese. They don't give a shit for the most part.

In any case, being a white male in a relationship that is seen as some stereotypical power or cultural dynamic makes me uncomfortable about it sometimes and I find myself adopting a colour-blind approach to race more than I can rationally justify (because it ignores politics and history and systemic prejudice).

The little I've gotten has been from dopes who buy into Asian woman stereotypes and then consider it a conquest to high five me over.

I say the little because being from NJ in a town with a large east Asian population means it's not something I encountered often. Even then, I didn't get the questioning of your value that you've received, which is what lies underneath the insults from those you mentioned: you went yellow because you can't land white.

The aforementioned dopes don't know that, at least from my own observations and experiences in my family and with my in-laws, Korean-American culture has a lot of similarities to Italian-American culture. At least in the NYC area. "Submissive and quiet". Lmao. Ok.

 

[Megalosaro]

Whenever I tell people I'm dating a filipino woman, I get accused of "buying her". Which is ridiculous. She has a better job than me!

 

[LosDaddie]

I'm mixed-race, my mother is Korean and my dad is white. I felt the urge to drop in and offer some anecdotal experiences, but I find in past conversations that it ends up being entirely meaningless in the long run.

What I really want to just say is that I can't tell where the fuck to stand on mixed race issues anymore. Every time I think I'm "liberal" and "open-minded" about the issue, some liberal-leaning publication puts out a piece like this that makes me feel like my thoughts aren't actually all that open-minded after all. Obviously, the blatantly racist notions that get attributed to conservatism aren't at all appealing, either, so it's not like I'm about to turn coat and join their ranks.

So, I'm just confused, and frankly both the liberal and the conservative outlooks feel extremely alienating these days. I know liberal GAF likes to pop off a "moderate mindsets just lend strength to bigotry" attitude about a middle ground, but I'd argue the middle ground exists not because we want to make peace with bigots, but because both bigots and the righteousness-by-critical-espousal liberalism are both increasingly alienating, and both feel like I can't live a substantive, unambigiously fulfilling life without some shitty hang ups making me feel guilt about every fucking thing I think or do.

So, y'know what, I just feel stuck. I always felt at odds with larger American culture just by the very existence of being mixed-race and never feeling accepted by either white Americans or Koreans as a culturally pure example of humanhood... And I guess it's just going to fucking stay that way.

Frustrating as shit the way this gets presented all the time. I know critics aren't necessarily out to make people guilty around the clock, but it's really starting to feel like I can't say or do a damn thing anymore without "but, well, there's this thing that gets excluded by that mindset..."

GAF, what the hell do I have to do to just ... fit in someplace.

Great post. I echo a lot of the same sentiments you expressed there, being a minority & all. My mom remarried a white dude when I was young and she had been relocated/stationed by the Army. While I never struggled to make friends, "fitting in" was a bit more difficult.

Also, as for discourse online, I believe it's important to be aware that place is like GAF/Reddit/Tumblr tend to become echo chambers/feedback loops of the more hardcore viewpoints of society. It is, after all, human nature to seek out places & people who share the same opinions as yourself.

 

[MikeyB]

Korean-American culture has a lot of similarities to Italian-American culture. At least in the NYC area. "Submissive and quiet". Lmao. Ok.

Yeah, the Koreans I know are crazy and loud.

 

[shoelacer]

this thread rules

 

[TheSkullPrince]

I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that ass.