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My girlfriend wants to get plastic surgery and I'm not sure I'm ok with it
- Thread starter AngryMoth
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always crazy bacon
Banned
Exactly, #2 in this article written by a woman.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/you-may-be-good-dude-but-heres-why-youre-single_p2/
wumster3000
Member
From reading your post OP, surgery will not help her. She will always feel like that unless she changes her thought process.
For me, I am against any kind cosmetic surgery to your face, unless an accident or medical issue causes deformities.
For me, I am against any kind cosmetic surgery to your face, unless an accident or medical issue causes deformities.
The first part is definitely true.
Second part is just silly, honesty is far more useful than blind support.
OP if you feel she's making a terrible decision, talk to her about it, don't support something you feel is not in her best interest. If she ultimately decides to ignore your advice, that's her decision to make.
He's her boyfriend, of course can he advise her when he thinks she's doing it for the wrong reasons.
Of course should he not impose his will on her, but this whole idea that he's not even allowed to confront her about it is just silly. What kind of relationship would that be.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with plastic surgery, I've had it and it changed my life for the better. But if your girlfriend gets plastic surgery and the results are good she will leave you, I guarantee it. So it's in your best interest to prevent her from getting it, and it's in her best interest to get it. I would suggest just letting her get the surgery and find a new girlfriend.
LOL
And then fall into #1 trap, right?
wumster3000
Member
...Goddamn Gaf
This post is GAF, distilled. Although i'm missing a reference to his girlfriend already having a dick on the side.
Vital Tundra
Member
Why does Gaf think a person has to support everything a significant other does? Have you people been in a real relationship? Sometimes there are disagreements, sometimes you can't change their minds, and sometimes it might be worth it to try and change their minds. Let's not get it twisted.
Nothing wrong with expressing your worries to her, nothing wrong with trying to change her mind, and if she still wants it, you don't have to like it. The only important thing is you be there for her when it goes down. As long as you aren't an ass and ignore her or treat her different when it's all said and done its fine.
Nothing wrong with expressing your worries to her, nothing wrong with trying to change her mind, and if she still wants it, you don't have to like it. The only important thing is you be there for her when it goes down. As long as you aren't an ass and ignore her or treat her different when it's all said and done its fine.
GrizzleBoy
Banned
Friends don't let friends jump off bridges because it's "not their body".
Parents who want the best for their kids will always give them what they believe is the best advice.
If you care about someone, you will always warn them if you believe they're making a bad decision. You just will.
If you care about someone, you will never just settle for what you believe will have a negative effect without even the smallest bit of resistance.
If you care about someone, you will also consider how your actions impact your loved ones.
Obviously you can't dictate another adults life, but "whatever, it's your body" is not really how any strong relationship between anyone works in the real world.
Zoe
Member
Not until you're old with sagging skin.
FusedAtoms
Member
I was just about to respond to a bunch of people saying something similar to this , thank you for saving me time you nailed it.
What if she wants to get the poster for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 tattooed on her neck? Would you support your girlfriend's decision?
OP just talk to her. Or read your post to her. You don't have the final say, but you can at least feel like you tried and she may understand your feelings.
Byakuya769
Member
Gross.
Yup, just let her know u dont approve
Vermillion
Banned
Y'all are obnoxious. No, you don't own your SO, but you also don't have to support their decisions. Double that if you know the reason for their decision is based on someone else's poisonous attitude. You can't - and should never try to - control your SO. But this "accept everything" nonsense is nonsense.
no lies detected. either in this post or the actual 'she will leave you' post.
dealing with people is lovely. dealing with their mental bullshit is the worst. I would seriously not be surprised if they did break up eventually, but it still seems illogical to "expect" it, even though there are factors and numbers there.
op: its her decision. I would tell her how I felt about her now, and that I love her and don't care either way, but I feel she absolutely doesn't need it because she's already beautiful. but if she doesn't feel 100%, she's within her reasonable choices and decisions to do this. Just pay attention after. and do what is best for you, no matter what.
MrMephistoX
Member
He doesn't own her since when does a lady need to be allowed to make a decision?
This post. I...just...wow. I hope this is just some throwaway troll account and not your actual thought process. If it is you are a disgusting person.
Why should he? If he disagrees, he should tell her so.
He is her boyfriend, not her property that has to say "yes" to everything.
AnathemicOne
Banned
Double eyelids isn't a big surgery but regardless, like many others have said, its her decision in the end. As an SO there's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion but do keep an open mind (or try to work on it) in accepting either end result.
Also I'm an asian born with double eyelids, never really thought about it except when brought up in discussing East Asia; Western culture don't give a shit about it.
Also I'm an asian born with double eyelids, never really thought about it except when brought up in discussing East Asia; Western culture don't give a shit about it.
eso76
Member
What your SO does is none of your business and you shouldn't care and you can always move on and break up with them and it's no big deal and it shouldn't matter because you should have learned not to care about people, and never question their decisions especially if they happen to be women because then you'd be patronising and that's sexist.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Her choice, but look up videos and let her watch them. Maybe she'll change her mind.
Didn't mean to imply that he owns her, just that I wouldn't be against her doing something like that if I was in his situation, I'm pretty sure a partner is allowed to have an opinion about something like this.
Your logic here...
It's really sad that you both are going through this OP. I would raise my concerns sure but the final decision is hers. I wish you could get her a way from the negative influences so she could think about this with a level head without pressure, but it doesn't seem like that's possible considering the situation.
Good luck to both of you, I hope you both no matter the end result find happiness without constant pressure.
Good luck to both of you, I hope you both no matter the end result find happiness without constant pressure.
MrMephistoX
Member
It's not a joint decision' he can't say yes or no just state your disagreement and leave it at that. If they had joint assets or he was the sole breadwinner and paying for it that's a different story. He's not in a position to,allow or "let" her do anything by the sound of it. Bad idea? Maybe but its her body, her money, and her decision. If she decided to become a man same thing...
I never said it's a joint decision. I said it's totally fair not to assent.
he can say he isn't cool with it, if he isn't cool with it. It's still her choice. That doesn't change. But his opinion, as long as it takes her choice into account, is still his opinion.
wumster3000
Member
Oh man, she looks jacktastic now - fake as hell. I see why Aaron Rodgers is leaving her.Show this tragedy to her
The first image, she is lovely.
Sounds like people are conflating support and choice.
eso76
Member
Yeah, that too.
In these cases the man sometimes has insecurity issues with his opinion ("but I like you the way you are!") not being all his SO needs to hear.
Vital Tundra
Member
Show this tragedy to her
Holy hell when did the last picture happen?
Show this tragedy to her
That first one is beautiful, better than the last one. But if its getting her hires..
Woo-Fu
Banned
Probably from promo material for Office Christmas Party.
Of course those pictures are a bit misleading, she's younger, tan, smiling, hair down and pleasantly freckled in the good shots, older, pale, unsmiling, hair up and caked with makeup in the final. Even if she hadn't had any plastic surgery she'd look worse to most normal people in the final shot.
Same time frame as last picture, still looking fantastic.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1711525/mediaviewer/rm4094428160
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1711525/mediaviewer/rm4027319296
As far as the original poster's problems goes I don't see the issue. Tell her how you feel about it, all you can/should do.
Phoenix RISING
Banned
You're basically fighting against all of Asian cultural opinionthey all want that stupid double eyelid.
Yeah we Western people don't even notice the whole eyelid thing. And doesn't that just throw a monkey wrench into the whole "you're objectively less atttractive with a single eyelid and surgery makes you better" assumption of Asian culture?
It's not about beauty. It's about arbitrary cultural trends in Asia in the late 20th and early 21st century.
Fascinating.
boiled goose
good with gravy
It's all about degree. And yes the beauty industry targets and exploits people particularly women and young girls.
Yep. You can let her know where you stand, but ultimately it's her call.
Basketball
Member
Basketball
Member
Show this tragedy to her
feelsbadman
bonesmccoy
Banned
Lol, exactly.
+ OP has already said that his gf's mother has been conditioning her to have a negative view of her appearance for years.
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