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On average, do you spend more or less than 90 seconds on the toilet?

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Roarer

Member
YYZ said:
I don't get how some guys stay on the toilet for so many minutes in one session.

1) It stinks.

Speak for yourself dude. My bathroom is clean and my shit doesn't smell (unless I've been eating mexican food).

When I die, I'll probably have spent 1/10 of my life on the toilet. Just at work, I have at least 5 x 15 minute sessions on the toilet (though that is of course related to my severe panic attacks and total lack of self confidence BUT OH WELL toy get the point - sitting on the lo and thinking about life is great).
 
i usually am in and out in less than 90 seconds. I don't feel like I'm rushing it or anything, I just sit down, shit, wipe, and get up? This process doesn't take me 15 minutes?
 

bjork

Member
The 90 second people must wait til it's already poking out, or they push it like that one weightlifter.
 
I too don't understand how people can do anything while taking a shit. You get in there and just take a shit, wipe your ass, go about the rest of your day.

I take a shit about 30 seconds into it. Wipe my ass, and get out. I mean, I'm sure I've probably beaten the world record for the fastest shit plenty of times.
 

Outlaw

Banned
90 seconds is about right for me. I, no way in hell, spend more than 3 minutes taking a dump. Anyone that does probably has ass cancer.
 
A good shit and a good book is the greatest combination ever. Relax and enjoy it.

I'll usually rush at a public restroom just to get out of the biohazard zone. But at home? They call it the throne for a reason.
 
bjork said:
The 90 second people must wait til it's already poking out, or they push it like that one weightlifter.
I think they let one turd out and store the rest for another session. All told they probably make 20 '90 second' bathroom trips a day, lol.
 
What the fuck is up gaf's obsession with shit and the act of shitting. fucking 4 or 5 threads a day.

Edit - Im a fast shitter, a quick to the punch dont fuck around kind of guy. It does vary though, an example would be if im getting a grumpky.
 

USD

Member
I'm usually in there for 15-30 minutes, Almost always have something to read. Seriously, toilet time is one of the highlights of my day. I'd go as far as to say that I enjoy it. Honestly, I'm so used to sitting there for so long that if I try do a quickie, I get this perturbed and unbalanced feeling, like I'm rushing it (even if I'm actually done shitting). I always have the biggest shit-eating grin (pun intended) on my face after I come out of the shitter.
 

Aegus

Member
Depends on locations

At Work: As long as I can

Any other time: as quick as I can (I'm not spending half my day in a smelly cubicle)
 

C4Lukins

Junior Member
If it takes me any longer then 3 minutes, then something has gone horribly wrong. It took me about two weeks to read the recent Radiohead article in Rolling Stone.
 

CowGirl

Junior Member
Toilet = DS time. Take the ipod along for some decent musical background.

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well.
 

Kevtones

Member
I'm pretty quick but I shit maybe 2-3 times a day on average.

The key is when I shit big, I usually flush once after the first rush, and then proceed to plop a second rush and then wipe. I've had some that have taken three flushes however. This increases my average time to well over 90 seconds.
 

NomarTyme

Member
Kevtones said:
I'm pretty quick but I shit maybe 2-3 times a day on average.

The key is when I shit big, I usually flush once after the first rush, and then proceed to plop a second rush and then wipe. I've had some that have taken three flushes however. This increases my average time to well over 90 seconds.
Wow, we have the same shitting habit. >.>
 
Does weight correspond to the size of shit? I'm 6'4" about 195 lbs and take nice, healthy dumps. Do any of you small people just have less to deliver?
 

Uncooked

Banned
90 seconds is insane, I might have had one 90 second shit in my whole life, and it was one of those rare no wipe dumps.
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
What is this madness? Less than 90 seconds?
107nrs4.gif
 

Mashing

Member
I don't get a lot of fiber in my diet, so it takes me a while. 15-20 minutes. A lot of shit comes out of me, let me tell you.
 

C4Lukins

Junior Member
Uncooked said:
90 seconds is insane, I might have had one 90 second shit in my whole life, and it was one of those rare no wipe dumps.

Maybe it is my snuffing habit, but on average, once I sit down it is usually out in less then 90 seconds. It is just a matter of cleanup after that. I only go when I have to go and it is not on a schedule. For some of you it sounds like riding the bus everyday. I tend to only eat one giant meal a day with a couple of smaller snack size meals which may be a contributing factor. Maybe it helps it to take a nice fully formed and solid shape.
 
Average about... 5 minutes. Normally. It just depends really on what kind of shit it is and how much of your ass interior said shit explores before finally retiring into the bowl. Sometimes it feels like my shit goes on an expedition, an adventure, to locate the Fountain of Youth before finally just giving up and plopping on out. When that happens, I usually have to miss dinner and a movie. But sometimes it's a clean shot and there's very little mess.

With that said,

Good shit = 5 minutes
Bad shit = 20 minutes or more, but never more than 30
 
I hate those long, sloppy shits that just make you feel dirty and violated afterwards. Some days just aren't as good as others I suppose.
 
In public bathrooms, 15 seconds. One bonzai push and I'm out. When I am enjoying home-field advantage, I enjoy some quality reading time.
 
brandonh83 said:
Average about... 5 minutes. Normally. It just depends really on what kind of shit it is and how much of your ass interior said shit explores before finally retiring into the bowl. Sometimes it feels like my shit goes on an expedition, an adventure, to locate the Fountain of Youth before finally just giving up and plopping on out. When that happens, I usually have to miss dinner and a movie. But sometimes it's a clean shot and there's very little mess.

With that said,

Good shit = 5 minutes
Bad shit = 20 minutes or more, but never more than 30

im probably around the same.

The worst are those bad ones that wake you up in the middle of the night. losing 45 minutes of sleep because your dookie decided it was bored and looking for a new home.
 

Amon37

Member
90seconds, WTF that has to be a record.

I generally take 5-10 minutes unless its a big one then 20-30 but never more than 30.

If it's a big I will give myself a courtesy flush so

1. It doesn't stink as much
2. I don't clog the toilet
 
At home: 10 to 15 minutes, reading time
At work: 20-30 minutes, stick it to the man!

If I'm raiding though, it's a quick 15 second power shit.
 

BobsRevenge

I do not avoid women, GAF, but I do deny them my essence.
I'm usually in and out in 2-3 minutes. Sometimes if I really feel like enjoying myself or I had a rough day I'll spend 10 minutes on the PSP. My PSP is right next to my throne most days. When I got Puzzle Quest I was spending like, 20 minutes a day on the shitter.
 
Without starting a new thread, how do you wipe? Standing up or sitting down? I'm a stander. I don't know if it's for leverage or what but I feel weird sitting and wiping. It's almost like a girl...
 

BobsRevenge

I do not avoid women, GAF, but I do deny them my essence.
MotorbreathX said:
Without starting a new thread, how do you wipe? Standing up or sitting down? I'm a stander. I don't know if it's for leverage or what but I feel weird sitting and wiping. It's almost like a girl...
If its messy I'll do it sitting first, then stand up. Otherwise I prefer standing.
 
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