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[pj]

I saw an episode of howard stern on E! one time about guys who got horrific 'roids from sitting on the toilet too long.

I never go over a couple minutes now.

 

[lil smoke]

If its messy I'll do it sitting first, then stand up. Otherwise I prefer standing.

:lol It's really funny when you realize that everyone naturally does the same things.

 

[MotorbreathX]

If its messy I'll do it sitting first, then stand up. Otherwise I prefer standing.

That's a good form. Always have to avoid spreading the mess with mashed cheeks.

 

[speculawyer]

More . . . it is one of those few times when no one bothers you, so I probably like to extend it a bit.

 

[rallaren]

Without starting a new thread, how do you wipe? Standing up or sitting down? I'm a stander. I don't know if it's for leverage or what but I feel weird sitting and wiping. It's almost like a girl...

I always sit down. If it's a public restroom I just wipe the seat first.

 

[YYZ]

oh yeah I forgot to say, if it's a public washroom then add 1-2 minutes for me. Just takes more prep time and not as comfortable.

And "quality reading times" involves lack of shit smell about the air, for me at least. And with my pants up.

 

[ruffles]

Under 5 minutes. Lately, I haven't been wiping my ass that much because it comes up clean and that's when it takes me like 90 seconds.

 

[tedtropy]

Sometimes I bring my laptop in there and do some wireless poop-session surfing. Hell, I may be posting on GAF while making bread RIGHT NOW.

 

[Windu]

wtf 90 seconds? Way more.

 

[chumps]

I saw an episode of howard stern on E! one time about guys who got horrific 'roids from sitting on the toilet too long.

I never go over a couple minutes now.

ya it's not good to stay on the john too long.. specially if you have bowel issues. either you gotta go or you don't, none of this dilly-dallying!

 

[ComputerNerd]

I take quick craps. But I usually wait until it gets to the "must go NOW!" stage.

Sucks when I wait until that stage, and the bathroom is taken.

 

[bjork]

Sometimes I bring my laptop in there and do some wireless poop-session surfing. Hell, I may be posting on GAF while making bread RIGHT NOW.

imagine the chair as a toilet, obviously

 

[Kowak]

Average time is about 5 mins as usually reading something. However can spend 20 mins on there sometimes.

longest i have ever been on the toilet was about an hour and when i got up my leg gave way.

 

[Tyrannical]

Just to be clear, I'm talking about defecation, including wiping (just in case someone wants to make a joke about not wiping).

For me it's less than 90 seconds of course. On a good run I will be out of the washroom in less than a minute.

I don't get how some guys stay on the toilet for so many minutes in one session.

1) It stinks.
2) It's a waste of time.
3) It's generally not good for your ass.

Eat your fiber.


For those of you saying you play/read/whatever on the toilet, it smells bad so I don't see how it's better than sitting in a comfy chair and doing the same thing. I'm shocked.

Are you a "bottom"? That could explain why you are so quick.

 

[bjork]

Are you a "bottom"? That could explain why you are so quick.

oh no :lol

 

[Everdred]

I am a speed shitter as well. Only takes me 2 minutes or less. Some of my friends are blown away for they take 15+ minutes.

 

[Kowak]

I am a speed shitter as well. Only takes me 2 minutes or less. Some of my friends are blown away for they take 15+ minutes.

you taking laxatives before hand?

 

[Everdred]

Heres a question hope it hasn't been asked. Do you wipe from between your legs or lift up a cheek and wipe from the back?

I life and wipe, I found it odd that one of my friends goes between his legs. umm... Isn't there kind of a penis in the way?

 

[Everdred]

you taking laxatives before hand?

No, also it depends on how well wiping goes. Sometimes I'll wipe and there will be little to nothing. If there is a quite a bit, it could take up to 10 minutes, which I find an annoying waste of time. :lol Love pooping threads.

 

[davepoobond]

i dump and go. i can't read on the toilet. i dont want to smell my own shit longer than i have to

 

[Borci88]

what the hell at people going to the toilets three times a day with 20 minutes in there at a time, I don't know how but I go to the toilet like every 2-3 days. And am usually in there for like 15 minutes tops..

 

[SexConker]

I must have caught that, then. :-(

 

[Gamer @ Heart]

The fuck? Pooping is one of life's great pleasures. No need to rush it.

*sniff*

I remember how much i use to enjoy it. Then i got the Hemorrhoids. A small tear in your asshole nixes the rush of a dump. : (

 

[iamblades]

what the hell at people going to the toilets three times a day with 20 minutes in there at a time, I don't know how but I go to the toilet like every 2-3 days. And am usually in there for like 15 minutes tops..

Once a day like clockwork for me, 3 minutes tops, usually quite a bit less, least for the dump and wipe portion.

And it's not like I take small dumps either, we're talking like 16 inch logs sometimes here depending on what I ate. Comes out in a nice big single peice, I wipe and I'm done. I don't eat particularly well either, not a lot of fiber or anything. Guess my digestive system just kicks ass.

 

[Polari]

Quick and regular. I put it down to cigarettes and a sporadic diet. If I was taking ten minutes each time, I'd be spending about half an hour on the thing each day. Fuck that.

 

[Suburban Cowboy]

really dont understand what takes people so long. If you have a single, intact turd shouldnt it take no more than a minute to release?

 

[Stinkles]

There is nothing, NOTHING better than finding a good magazine in the stall you just entered. Perhaps a newsweek, or better yet, a Road & Track.

 

[kozmo7]

I remember the good times I've had on the can reading all sorts of material. In my prime I would spend at least a good 30 minutes on my throne-- 40 minutes if I found the article especially enticing.

It's a sad and pathetic situation I am currently in, although I do ask for your pity. You see, I've become legally blind and now the only way I can read magazines and such is with a cumbersome bright light (with extension cord) and a thick pair of magnifying glasses. This leaves me physically unable to read on the can.

Since then I've canceled all my magazine subscriptions.

I've struggled with finding a new toilet activity but it's just not the same. I spend my days now on the john thinking of life; a shell of what taking a crap used to be. Constantly I am falling asleep and waking up an hour (sometimes two hours) later. My lower body completely numb. Walking is impossible and wiping is a super human feat. Falling though, is quite easy from what I've learned.

My two hour long sessions lately have been ending with me being dazed and laying on the cold tile, buttocks erect in air, unable to get up, wondering how such a once enjoyable experience all came down to this.

 

[Siyou]

i like to time myself and see how long it takes for someone to knock because i like to piss people off while i shit comfortably. Anybody who shits in 90 seconds would miss out on such pleasures

 

[Borci88]

Once a day like clockwork for me, 3 minutes tops, usually quite a bit less, least for the dump and wipe portion.

And it's not like I take small dumps either, we're talking like 16 inch logs sometimes here depending on what I ate. Comes out in a nice big single peice, I wipe and I'm done. I don't eat particularly well either, not a lot of fiber or anything. Guess my digestive system just kicks ass.

LOL I appreciate the reply but damn is it awkward talking about taking a dump and describing it..

 

[westical]

And it's not like I take small dumps either, we're talking like 16 inch logs sometimes here depending on what I ate.

40cm long? You've got to be shitting me (pun intended).

 

[Scrow]

Under five minutes is pushing it for me.

i see what you did there

 

[Zeppu]

The fuck? Pooping is one of life's great pleasures. No need to rush it.

this.

and get a DS. your life will change

 

[TEH-CJ]

What the fuck is it with poo threads on GAF?

Spoiler

I stay in the toilet for about 10 min till my ass is like a baby bottom

 

[zoukka]

Because of Pokemon Red my sessions were sometimes like over half an hour back in the days :b

About a minute or two nowadays.

 

[MIMIC]

Unless it's one of those rare, perfect dumps, it's usually WAY more than 90 seconds.

 

[Naked Snake]

Lately I have been taking my laptop with me on shits, I browse GAF, chat with people, read, whatever.

 

[bud]

it's usually for about 15 minutes. i like reading magazines--i only read them on the toilet nowadays, anyway-- and playing suduko while i'm on there.

sitting for too long can't be good--one of my friends told me he once sat on the toilet for more than 30 minutes, and he got crusty...

 

[rezuth]

1) It stinks.
2) It's a waste of time.
3) It's generally not good for your ass.

1) No, What the fuck are YOU eating?
2) No, I do most of my profound thinking in there.
3) How is it not good for your ass?

 

[lil smoke]

You know if you spread your buttcheeks before sitting down you clean easier.

 

[Tieno]

My brother and mom always called me Speedkakker (speedpooper) because I was able to push out turds in no time and be done with it.

 

[TheQueen'sOwn]

If I have nothing to do but shit.... under 30 seconds. I takes me longer to pee.
If I'm going to read, play videogames or surf the net.... about an hour.

 

[Dahellisdat]

oh yeah I forgot to say, if it's a public washroom then add 1-2 minutes for me. Just takes more prep time and not as comfortable.

And "quality reading times" involves lack of shit smell about the air, for me at least. And with my pants up.

Wait you spend more time shitting in public than in the comfort of your own home? Thats ASS backwards.

 

[beanoboy7]

20 minutes minimum... The feeling of a "lincoln log" coming out of my butt feels awesome

 

[djtiesto]

There is nothing, NOTHING better than finding a good magazine in the stall you just entered. Perhaps a newsweek, or better yet, a Road & Track.

Hmm, I dunno if I'd want to read a flagged mag... I usually just bring in the company's newsletter into the stall when I poop at work, or EGM when at home.

 

[YYZ]

oh yeah I forgot to say, my shits are usually over a foot long and soft/smooth, light brown. Huge logs basically, not more than 2-3 pieces usually. You guys sound like you're dropping much more than that.

 

[Xisiqomelir]

Why rush?

My brother and mom always called me Speedkakker (speedpooper) because I was able to push out turds in no time and be done with it.

No tags in the OT!

 

[Schwowsers]

It really creeps me out that people read and play games while going the bathroom. Seems filthy to me.

 

[whitehawk]

For me it's less than 90 seconds of course.

whut?

Shortest I've ever taken was 5 minutes. Usually 15-30. Depends.

 

[esbern]

over 90 seconds easily.