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So my gf got arrested.
- Thread starter TONX
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MikeOfTheLivingDead said:
I would not go as far as to toss her aside. Of course, she made a terrible mistake, and now has to learn from it. She will get help with AA if sentenced to it. It's the realization of the problem that is the first step.
You can tell her that she is very lucky no one got hurt.
Funny story here. My cousin came home drunk, and my aunt proceeded to empty her bladder in his mouth for he was wasted and "not responding". He ended in the hospital from alchol poisining.
Fenderputty
Banned
MikeOfTheLivingDead said:
You're a fucking idiot. I'm not trivializing the offense in any way but, you act as if she's the scum of the earth and can't learn a valued lesson. I've had one and won't ever get another one. What if my now wife thought like you?
Get off your fucking high horse. Good people make stupid decisions sometimes. She's lucky this time no one was hurt. I say lucky because that's what she was ... lucky. Worth breaking up over? Worth "teaching her some lesson" by not helping her financially? Hardly.
jamesinclair
Banned
missbreedsiddx said:
Why don't you go ahead and try it, and see if the court agrees with your "it was just a mistake" defense.
I_D
Member
You're girlfriend definitely deserved to get caught. Driving drunk is outrageously dangerous, both for the driver and everybody else on the road.
That being said, some of GAF is overreacting. If my girlfriend drove drunk, I would lose a lot of respect for her, and I'd definitely be pissed at her for a while and wouldn't trust her drinking behavior. After three years, however, it's probably not worth breaking up (unless she does other stupid shit too, then it's a good time).
You're totally insane for helping her with the money, though. This is 100% her fault, and she obviously knew it was dangerous. Three years is a long time(ish), sure, but it's not enough to take on the penalty for her crimes.
That being said, some of GAF is overreacting. If my girlfriend drove drunk, I would lose a lot of respect for her, and I'd definitely be pissed at her for a while and wouldn't trust her drinking behavior. After three years, however, it's probably not worth breaking up (unless she does other stupid shit too, then it's a good time).
You're totally insane for helping her with the money, though. This is 100% her fault, and she obviously knew it was dangerous. Three years is a long time(ish), sure, but it's not enough to take on the penalty for her crimes.
samus i am
Member
jamesinclair said:
I think his point is, even though it is illegal it is unintentional therefore a mistake.
butts said:
This. Your girlfriend is an idiot but luckily neither she or anyone got hurt. Good luck with the rest of everything.
And all you people who say he should leave his gf are morons who most likely have never been with a girl. People make mistakes, you deal with it and move on, now if it is a continuous problem I could see where all the hostility is coming from.
J-Roderton
Member
Yep sounds about right. My best friend went out driving like that last night and slid into a huge pile of snow. Random dude pulled him out tho.
jamesinclair said:
Your high horse rage is adorable.
I never once said a mistake is a justifiable defense. Mistakes can be little or huge, serious or inconsequential. Driving drunk is fairly serious mistake. But anyone on this board who claims to have never made, or that they never will make, some kind of serious mistake in their lives that affect the people around us is a liar or incredibly naive.
Fenderputty
Banned
Immortal_Daemon said:
You're all approaching this wrong. They're not married, but if they act as a unit, he'll end out paying one way or the other. What about the next time he wants to go to the show? Leave her behind? He can't enjoy a nice dinner out with her? He'll have to help her financially at some point regardless and will end up indirectly financially supporting her through this regardless.
Fenderputty
Banned
Rubenov said:
How much do you weigh? How much food did you eat? How long were you there?
One drink though ... you're fine.
Jamesfrom818
Banned
LOZLINK said:
The woman I marry won't be perfect and will make mistakes but she won't be stupid enough to drive drunk.
I_D
Member
Fenderputty said:
There's a good chance he's relatively young, meaning close to my age.
At this current stage in my life, I would have no major qualms with telling a girlfriend of 3 years she won't get any help from me. I'd still be nice to her, of course; take her out to dinner and hang out with her, but I wouldn't help her pay for anything related to the drunk driving.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
Driving drunk was an incredibly poor decision. No one was injured, thank goodness, so I guess things could work out in the end if she gets her life together. But if she does this again drop her like a greased hot dog. You can't be her crutch. She'll never respect you and she'll never improve herself.
DarkJediKnight
Member
TONX said:
So she's a careless alcoholic, and a compulsive liar as well. Dump her now before she drags you down.
Fenderputty
Banned
Immortal_Daemon said:
Then you'll indirectly pay for it when you go to dinner etc etc. If she's strapped enough to need the money, having her pay for it won't put her in a position to enjoy anything.
Also ... 3 years is a long fucking time.
BigGreenMat
Member
missbreedsiddx said:
I am with you. Everyone makes mistakes and some much worse than driving after drinking. The thing with mistakes is no one cares if you make them and no one finds out, but people will crucify the hell out of you if they do. If you truly want to reduce such mistakes you shouldn't crucify the people who have made them, but instead try to eliminate the avenues which lead people to those mistakes. Most people here get to frothed at the mouth to think this deeply about things though.
I also find it funny that people will harp on me saying she was unlucky getting a DUI, but lucky not to get into an accident. That just doesn't make sense.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
Alcohol affects judgment and leads to more risky behavior. The mistake was made hours before, when they started drinking without a responsible DD.Kraut said:
Kraut said:
have you never been drunk? PSA's, GAF lectures, and friend's horror stories pretty much go out the window when you are drunk, tired, and wanting nothing more than to get the hell home. Even when you are aware that you are too drunk to drive well, your alcohol riddled brain tends to find excuses like, "i'm only two minutes away" or "it's late, nobody will be on the road."
And no, its not an excuse, it s a reason, a reason to keep an eye on your friends when they drink, and to mind how much you yourself consume.
MikeOfTheLivingDead
Grapetastic!
Fenderputty said:
For me it would not about "teaching her a lesson", and it has nothing to do with insecurity. I'd dump her for purely selfish reasons and not feel the least bit bad about it. I'm a grown man who doesn't want a significant other who is an embarassment, a drain on my finances or time or emotions, or stupid enough to do something get behind the wheel after getting trashed. If I'm in a relationship, not married mind you, just dating someone and they are causing me significant grief through their careless actions, out on their ass they go. I live a bullshit free existance and like to keep it that way.
jamesinclair
Banned
samus i am said:
Oh, Im sorry, I didnt realize someone unintentionally filled the gf with alcohol. Or did she ferment alcohol in her stomach?
Drinking and driving is a premeditated activity. It starts when you decide to drive to a bar alone. If you think you might drink, then either find a DD or leave your car at home and take transit or a cab.
Drunk people do not make rational decisions. The problem is, the decision to put yourself in that situation was made when sober. It's an enormous error of judgment. Fine, I concede that "mistake" as a word might work, but it is a series of mistakes, not just one.
Would I dump my gf of 3 years? Probably not. But I'd lose an enormous amount of respect for her.
How many here talking about how anyone who would dump their gf for making a mistake would turn around and dump their gf of 3 years when cheated on?
Cheating. A mistake. Nobody gets physically hurt, it's just harmless sex.
DUI. A mistake. Potentially lethal to multiple parties. Not harmless.
Why is it standard to dump someone who cheated on you, but "unrealistic" to dump someone who did something that could have ended in multiple deaths?
Because most monogamous relationships aren't built around the principle that the other person won't get drive while drunk.jamesinclair said:
Edit: i wouldn't say it's unrealistic to dump a girl for driving under the influence, but i wouldn't take a singular incident as grounds to do so.
red shoe paul
Banned
NomarTyme said:
That's what I would do. I'm glad my girlfriend doesn't drink, keeps me less worried.
missbreedsiddx said:
Yup. Spent a very cold October night in my car and woke up the next day for work. I won't jump on my high horse; even though I can keep a clear head whether drunk or high, I know others don't have that luxary and are prone to stupid mistakes.
Like you said, friends keeping an eye out and watching your own intake is critical to avoid ever getting into a situation where you're stuck making a potentially life altering choice while not in top mental capacity. Everybody has the ability to think ahead before they're drunk, and when you don't do so, the "booze made my judgement poor" card doesn't cut it.
I hope you're ready to throw down a nice sum of money. My nephew was arrested for a DUI and that was roughly a $5k mistake on his part after all was said and done. Not to mention that her insurance premiums (if she can find anyone to insure her) are going to be punishing for years after. Obviously, he was lucky that nobody got hurt etc.
Unless you intend to marry this woman, you will regret ever helping fund this mistake of hers. I think of all the money I wasted in previous relationships trying to "help out" when things went bad and I could kick myself for it. You will never be reimbursed for this and as others have said, you're enabling her. I hope it turns out well for you in the end.
Unless you intend to marry this woman, you will regret ever helping fund this mistake of hers. I think of all the money I wasted in previous relationships trying to "help out" when things went bad and I could kick myself for it. You will never be reimbursed for this and as others have said, you're enabling her. I hope it turns out well for you in the end.
silverbullet1080
Banned
This.butts said:
Solideliquid
Member
I hope you find that magical human being. I really do. The rest of us have to put up with people that are sometimes a drain on our emotions, or cause a little embarassment.MikeOfTheLivingDead said:
Wickerbasket
Member
Your aunt peed in his mouth? Was she drunk too? Cause that's pretty fucked up.Samara said:
silverbullet1080
Banned
What the fuck :lol :lolSamara said:
speculawyer
Member
Just make sure you are a hard ass and that she learns the lesson.
I don't mean to be a dick and I can't say that I've never done it. But it is a bad thing to be doing.
I don't mean to be a dick and I can't say that I've never done it. But it is a bad thing to be doing.
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