speculawyer
Member
You don't need to be coy, roydesh said:
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So my gf got arrested.
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Samara said:
You in China maybe? I know about this great club downtown...blah blah.
Anyway, I've got a "cool story bro" for you all. I was driving intoxicated (I won't say drunk because I had only had two martini's and we left the bar 30 minutes after the last one). Plus I'm 300 lbs and 6'5" so it takes a lot more to get me stupor. So after rationalizing it for you, I drove back to my house with two friends in my car. We stopped in my apartment for a little bit, and then decided to head back out to eat.
Three cop cars came around the corner as I was turning left at a stop sign. My friends were in another car at this time, and had gone on ahead. So a cop car turns his light on immediately after I had turned the corner. my heart was pounding and I had the oh shit face going, but I've learned to keep my cool when talking to Officers of the law. They enjoy a nice person and not a mocking person I've learned. My 7 warnings and only 1 speeding ticket are testament to that.
So he gets out and asks me, "Where have you been tonight?"
I said, " Just driving around and about to go to Al's to eat."
He says, "That mustang ahead your friends?."
ME: "Yes officer, they've been with me the whole night."
HIM: "Well, we got word that some people were breaking into cars around here and we just wanted to see if you heard anything."
Me: "Sorry officer, we were just driving around and about to go out to eat. Do you need to see my trunk or anything?" (Yeah, that was stupid of me to say, but I was trying to be helpful.)
He says, "No, unless you have something you need to show us."
Me: "No officer, I've just never been searched before so I thought you needed to see it."
"Anyway, your record is clean and you story checks out, so you just have a good night."
"Thanks officer."
So yeah, I got off scott free. I knew I'd most likely be over the legal limit with what I had, even if I didn't feel the effects of being over, so I was pretty scared. Luckily i got to go eat my overloaded nachos like I wanted. MMMMM
I think I'm in love with your aunt.
Meus Renaissance
Member
People drinking and then driving is one of the most sensationally pathetic mysteries of life. In fact, people driving when they're not mentally fit is a tragedy waiting to happen. Road accidents are one of the single largest killers anywhere in the world.
Aesius
Member
I've been pulled over 3 times for suspicion of DUI. Supposedly they got a call about a drunk driver with a vehicle matching the description of mine.
All 3 times I was dead sober. Once I got pulled over in a bar parking lot at 2:30 a.m. when I was going to pickup my g/f. Figured it would be pretty fucking obvious that I am somebody's ride considering the bar closed at 3 a.m., but whatever. I can't imagine how big of a brick I would shit if I got pulled over and was legitimately drunk though.
All 3 times I was dead sober. Once I got pulled over in a bar parking lot at 2:30 a.m. when I was going to pickup my g/f. Figured it would be pretty fucking obvious that I am somebody's ride considering the bar closed at 3 a.m., but whatever. I can't imagine how big of a brick I would shit if I got pulled over and was legitimately drunk though.
Jesus christ at the responses here, dumping someone cause they were arrested?? i think the bail shouldn't be more than $100, usually the bail bonds places will charge you 10% what ever you bail is, and as long as you show up to your court date you should be okay. the more expensive stuff will be the ticket which she can get a payment plan for and the increase in insurance.
I hope none of you guys talk on your cell phones while driving or have a S/O that does.
I hope none of you guys talk on your cell phones while driving or have a S/O that does.
grandjedi6
Master of the Google Search
Oh look, its moral outrage gaf. A "great" group when there is something to actually be outraged about, but in all other cases just turn out to be a mob of jerkasses. Case in point: people painting the GF as the next Hitler and arguing that the op should dump her for a DUI (I guess moral outrage gaf and girl-age gaf must have a high crossover).
I'm blown away with some the responses in here. Dump her over this? Seriously? Some even saying her going out with friends without you is a worthy enough to dump a GF over. Good grief. Hopefully is this a wake up call for her OP. All best with dealing with the situation at hand.
you know all the years I've been going my favorite bar I've only seen a taxi out front maybe a hand full of times.Samara said:
bosskoss21
Member
wichchchchchhhhh....thats the crack of her whip
jamesinclair
Banned
grandjedi6 said:
Zeke said:
So why dont you answer my question?
Why is it common to dump a gf if she cheats on you, in which there is no physical harm caused, but DUI, which can end in the murder of various innocents is ok?
Cheat: It's just sex, nobody gets physically hurt. No victims.
DUI: Potentially can lead to the death of the gf and several innocent bystanders.
Both are "mistakes". One has no victims, except your sad little self esteem.
Why is it unreasonable to dump someone for getting a DUI but dumping someone for cheating is the thing to do?
yankeeforever2
Member
hope she likes her community service, suspend drivers license and court fees. She deserves worse though.
Not like she could have run someone one over or hit a car. My Aunt got hit by a fucking idiot drunk driver in thr 80s and still has to see specialist for her neck, back and left leg. She didn't break anything, but since that time she has had pain in her back and numbness in her leg.missbreedsiddx said:
His girlfriend is a reckless fucking bitch. Just because the police locked her up doesn't mean she doesn't deserve harsh criticism.
jamesinclair
Banned
Zeke said:
I don't know about you, but my last relationship was built around respect. I find it hard to respect a gf that will cheat on me. I also find it hard to respect a gf that's willing to go out to a bar, in a car, with no plan on how to get back, and get drunk and endanger herself and people around her. It's insulting to me, as a bf, to have a gf that won't respect herself or her community and not have the state of mind to properly think through her night out.
Worst scenario, she finds herself drunk at a bar, her DD bailed and no taxis are available and the buses are out for the night. If she's my long time girlfriend, she would call me to pick her up. I wouldn't be in love with the idea of picking her up at 2am, but it happens. The relationship is strong enough that she thinks of calling me and I'm willing to pick her up.
Another example.A DUI is very different from accidentally rear ending the person in front of you at an intersection. Both are mistakes. One is caused by a 1 second lapse of judgment/attention, the other is caused by a series of decisions spread out over the course of an evening.
jamesinclair
Banned
Aselith said:
Yeah, because my feelings are so much more important than the LIVES of other people.
What if the GF had hit and killed the OPs mother? Just a mistake? Or is it different now because the op knows his mother but not the family of 5 down the street whose minivan was pushed into a tree?
Ugh. Cheating is not a "mistake". You cheat and the harm is done. It's a problem with the relationship itself, not something entirely external. Driving drunk is a bad judgement call....and not that it justifies it or anything, but obviously one made when your judgement is impaired. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, some worse than others, and I'm sure there are many here who've made at least one that put someone else in danger in one way or another. It's up to their partner to determine if that mistake--completely unrelated to their relationship--is worth ending the relationship over. To compare it to cheating, regardless of the severity of the mistake, is flat-out retarded and completely nonsensical. Cheating is a breach of the very thing that is holding the relationship together in the first place. Seriously, do I of all people need to fucking explain this to you?jamesinclair said:
This. I hope every one of you calling for the OP to dump is 'bitch' girlfriend completely cuts every one who's ever driven recklessly in any way out of their lives.
:lol Some of the folks in this thread. Needless to say, you drink and drive and you're a bloody idiot. Hope your girl learned her lesson.
But..she didn't! She made a mistake. What happened, happened and she needs to learn from that mistake. You really shouldn't dwell on hypothetical situations.jamesinclair said:
jamesinclair said:
Again, it's potential versus reality and you versus someone else. You should feel cheating more deeply because a. it actually happened it isn't a hypothetical and b. it happened to you personally and things that happen to you are always going to be felt more deeply than things that happen to other people.
Are you really going to tell me that millions of people dying in Haiti would affect you more deeply than your dad dying?
Moving on from that. You'll react more strongly to what you feel more deeply. Make sense?
And this.Aselith said:
From a purely logical and objective standpoint, driving drunk is worse than cheating on someone. But dumping someone is almost always an act of emotion, and unless you're Data from Star Trek (which I'm beginning to think you are), you will be much more affected and hurt by your girlfriend of 3 years sucking off some guy in the bathroom at a party than her getting charged with a DUI.
Nobody is saying what she did was ok, but the blind rage over a stupid decision is hypocritical. We all make stupid choices throughout our lives that may affect others. A stupid decision at work could result in someone getting fired and losing their livelihood. A spilled cup of coffee could end up with you broadsiding another car. A nasty comment made out of frustration could push someone over the edge. A moment of distraction could end up with a child injuring or killing himself when you aren't looking.
We aren't perfect, we make stupid ass decisions every day, from little ones to severe ones. Just because you are strong in your conviction to not drive drunk, doesn't mean you wont or dont make other piss poor choices in your life that have the potential to hurt others. She deserves whatever punishment she receives. She does not deserve to have her entire worth as a human being judged by one mistake. If we do so, then every single one of us are pieces of shit as well for our poor decisions.
We aren't perfect, we make stupid ass decisions every day, from little ones to severe ones. Just because you are strong in your conviction to not drive drunk, doesn't mean you wont or dont make other piss poor choices in your life that have the potential to hurt others. She deserves whatever punishment she receives. She does not deserve to have her entire worth as a human being judged by one mistake. If we do so, then every single one of us are pieces of shit as well for our poor decisions.
Thaedolus
Gold Member
dejay said:
Ding ding. In fact, just talking on your cell phone puts you right about at drunk driving level of distracted, and texting is like double. Both are incredibly common, and just as stupid, but nobody's getting their panties up in a bunch about them.
Now, I'm not defending drunk driving, and obviously there's a scale here (a couple drinks vs. plastered) but I think the level of outrage here is getting a little ridiculous. People drink and drive because their judgement is impaired and they think they're ok to. That's not an excuse for it, but to me that's more excusable than texting while driving. People make that decision while sober every day, and they're costing lives too.
industrian
will gently cradle you as time slowly ticks away.
TONX said:
Take my advice on this because the alcoholism of a family member has utterly destroyed my family: unless she stops drinking completely and utterly and moves on with her life you and everyone else around her is in for a world of hurt.
Count Dookkake
Member
Fuck your girlfriend.
Davey Cakes
Member
I can't believe people are continually saying "dump her."
If you were in a relationship for three years I doubt you'd be able to pull that plug so easily.
If you were in a relationship for three years I doubt you'd be able to pull that plug so easily.
surprised by how many "dump her" comments are going on. I know most people cant put themselves in the shoes of a 3 year relationship (not a stab at the GAF populace but certainly wouldn't be uncommon), but it seems extremely selfish and you would be a complete douche if you refused to help someone you even knew for 3 years, much less were in a relationship with. I know if any of my friends called me, or my girlfriend, I'd be there as quick as I could. I hope there are still some stand up guys, instead of the selfish ones out there.
slidewinder
Banned
:lol :lol WHAT??!?AFreak said:
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
Context is important here. If this was an isolated incident then dumping her over it would be harsh but if this is just a highlight in a string of similar fueled incidents then it might be time to cut the strings. No one that values you as a person would put you through that on a regular basis.cwmartin said:
The Take Out Bandit
Member
Thaedolus said:
Cool!
What planet do you live on where they don't have Oprah?!
I'd love to visit some time.
KuwabaraTheMan
Banned
jamesinclair said:
No one who has ever been cheated on by someone they love/loved would ever make such an absurd statement. There might not be any loss of life, but there's a really obvious reason why relationships end over shit like that.
I'm not downplaying drunk driving, but there's a huge difference in what you're talking about. Everyone has flaws and everyone does stupid shit. If someone is repeatedly driving drunk, and even literally drinking while driving, then they clearly have issues. But if someone just made a mistake once (or twice), then that's an entirely different issue. Yes, it's a dumb mistake, but everyone on here has probably done something at least on that level. I can think of one or two occasions where I nearly fell asleep while driving because I was overtired. Does that make me a monster? I'm positive that every single GAF member who drives has probably had at least a handful of occasions where they were driving while extremely tired, or driving while talking on the phone, or what have you. Pretty much every human being has done it.
I'm not defending anyone except to say that people make mistakes. You deal with it, and you move on. Quality relationships are built on people supporting each other during tough times, not simply dumping someone for making a dumb mistake.
Cheating on someone is completely different because it's a complete and utter betrayal. Anyone who has been in that situation understands exactly how different that is. It's not simply 'making a mistake', it's making the conscious decision to turn your back on your partner and betray all of their care and respect for you.
Freshmaker
I am Korean.
Don't forget the people who will now wheel out the white knight thinggie.grandjedi6 said:
GremlinFool
Member
Dump her
lawlohwhat
Banned
Holy shit high horse GAF is in full effect in this thread. If you're with someone for three years, paying a few hundred dollars of court costs is a drop in the bucket. It's a matter of convenience, anyway.
She will be paying out her ass for insurance for the next several years, and the total will eclipse the cost of bail/court fees. She will probably lose her job and have a hard time finding another one. Someone who has the propensity to drink and drive more than once after getting caught is not going to be swayed by the fact that they had to pay their own bail.
Morality police crack me the fuck up. Serious relationships have all kinds of ups and downs, and people make all kinds of mistakes. Driving drunk is fucking retarded, but most of us who drink regularly did it once in our early adult lives, we were just lucky not to have caused any harm to pedestrians or other motorists.
She will be paying out her ass for insurance for the next several years, and the total will eclipse the cost of bail/court fees. She will probably lose her job and have a hard time finding another one. Someone who has the propensity to drink and drive more than once after getting caught is not going to be swayed by the fact that they had to pay their own bail.
Morality police crack me the fuck up. Serious relationships have all kinds of ups and downs, and people make all kinds of mistakes. Driving drunk is fucking retarded, but most of us who drink regularly did it once in our early adult lives, we were just lucky not to have caused any harm to pedestrians or other motorists.
EvaPlusMinus said:
Yeah.
Drunk driving is a pretty reprehensible thing to do, but alcohol impairs your ability to not to be a dumbass and as humans, we're all prone to stupid behavior. Obviously she shoudn't have been drinking and driving but we all do stupid shit, we're all just ticking time bombs waiting to fuck up. Some people are too quick to gather up their pitchforks and torches, she made a big mistake but now she has a good opportunity to learn from her mistakes. Sometimes it takes an arrest and a year of probation or possible jail time to realize the err of your ways.
Thaedolus
Gold Member
The Take Out Bandit said:
I was pretty much talking about this thread, but but good for Oprah for bringing this up. I went to USU, which is right near where her guest killed those two men while texting and driving. The crash and the subsequent awareness campaign about cell phones and driving were big news, which is why I'm now aware of the dangers.
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