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So my gf got arrested.

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People seriously don't understand the concept of "It's unhealthy to be in a relationship with a moron"?

This isn't just a one time fuck-up. She's had drinking problems before. This proves she hasn't made much effort to fix it. The OP is enabling her.

Drunk drivers are fucking scum-of-the-earth assholes. I've been drunk before. When I'm drunk I fucking know that I'm drunk and it's pretty apparent that driving is a retarded idea. It's people that think "shit only happens to other people. it won't happen to me" that end up killing other innocent people on the road. So fuck those people. No sympathy from me.

It's not a mistake when you damn well know what you're getting yourself into, but figure nothing bad could happen to you. This isn't a matter of being on a high horse. If I told you I had relatives killed by drunk drivers, would you still tell me "get off your high horse?" Because people have that shit happen to them all the time.
 

cubanb

Banned
HappyBivouac said:
People seriously don't understand the concept of "It's unhealthy to be in a relationship with a moron"?

This isn't just a one time fuck-up. She's had drinking problems before. This proves she hasn't made much effort to fix it. The OP is enabling her.

Drunk drivers are fucking scum-of-the-earth assholes. I've been drunk before. When I'm drunk I fucking know that I'm drunk and it's pretty apparent that driving is a retarded idea. It's people that think "shit only happens to other people. it won't happen to me" that end up killing other innocent people on the road. So fuck those people. No sympathy from me.

It's not a mistake when you damn well know what you're getting yourself into, but figure nothing bad could happen to you. This isn't a matter of being on a high horse. If I told you I had relatives killed by drunk drivers, would you still tell me "get off your high horse?" Because people have that shit happen to them all the time.
lulz, she has gotten too drunk before = alcoholism?


Lighten up guys. Live life a little and you will realize people make many mistakes and if you throw them out for something like this, you will end up discarding everyone.
 
cubanb said:
lulz, she has gotten too drunk before = alcoholism?


Lighten up guys. Live life a little and you will realize people make many mistakes and if you throw them out for something like this, you will end up discarding everyone.

OP said she has a history of drinking problems.

It's not always the answer to "lighten up" about things dude. I'm not constantly freaking out about everything in life, but people get killed by drunk drivers all the time and it's sad shit. I don't like people acting like it's not a big deal. Acting like it's not a big deal and "everyone makes mistakes" is what leads to terrible stuff happening.

And no, not everyone makes mistakes that severely threaten their own lives and the lives of others.
 
HappyBivouac said:
OP said she has a history of drinking problems.

It's not always the answer to "lighten up" about things dude. I'm not constantly freaking out about everything in life, but people get killed by drunk drivers all the time and it's sad shit. I don't like people acting like it's not a big deal. Acting like it's not a big deal and "everyone makes mistakes" is what leads to terrible stuff happening.

And no, not everyone makes mistakes that severely threaten their own lives and the lives of others.

"Drinking problem" can mean a wide variety of things depending on the circumstances. It could mean that someone is borderline alcoholic, or it could mean that someone is a bit of party animal and sometimes goes overboard. None of us aside from the OP know her, so it's really pointless to speculate about what problems she might or might not have.

Honestly, everyone has made mistakes which threaten their lives and the lives of other. Driving while being overly tired is almost as dangerous as driving drunk, and all of those people who text while driving are seriously gambling with their own lives. That's not all, either. Maybe everyone doesn't make mistakes that are hot button issues the way drunk driving is, but I think you're seriously underestimating the fragility of human life if you don't think that everyone over the age of 16 or so hasn't made at least one mistake that has threatened lives on at least the level of driving while intoxicated.
 
If I were enough of a dumbass to drive drunk I hope my girlfriend would leave me. Loving someone doesn't mean accepting them being a terrible person.
 

Zeke

Member
HappyBivouac said:
If I were enough of a dumbass to drive drunk I hope my girlfriend would leave me. Loving someone doesn't mean accepting them being a terrible person.
:lol :lol :lol
 

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
Drunk drivers are just humans being human - meatbags making stupid mistakes.

Maybe most of GAF doesn't ever drink and drive but I'm sure most of you do have terrible or stupid things that you do. I'm not religious at all but I agree with one verse..."let he without sin cast the first stone". They don't deserve to be wiped off the face of the earth for doing it. I don't think it automatically makes you a "terrible person", just a flawed person like every other fucking human being on this planet.

The most important thing, for me at least, is being able to learn from your mistakes. If you get a DUI, shame on you, but if you don't do it for the rest of your life you have my respect. One of your most important things you can do with your life is not to repeat the same mistakes.
 
HappyBivouac said:
I can live with that. Drunk drivers are assholes. If you don't think so, you're an asshole-enabler.
TheKyle07 said:
All I'll say is that I would not want to have such an irresponsible person raising my children.
HappyBivouac said:
If I were enough of a dumbass to drive drunk I hope my girlfriend would leave me. Loving someone doesn't mean accepting them being a terrible person.

Thats exactly where Im coming from.

Maybe some of you gafers are ok dating someone with no moral standards. But when I date a girl, Im looking for a relationship full of respect, trust and responsibility. Im not talking about dating daisy-straight-edge. There's a huge difference between drinking, getting drunk....and DUI. There is no reason to drive drunk. None at all. There is no scenario in the world in which your only option is to drive drunk. You can go to a bar and only have on drink. You can have a DD. You can take public transit. You can call a cab. You can call a friend. You can sleep in the parking lot.

3 years is a long time to date someone. Best Ive done is 2 years. So based on my experience, after 1 or 2 years, you really start thinking about the future.

Why would you want to stick around in the long term with someone who doesn't respect their own life and the lives of others? What kind of mother would she be if she's so willing to play with fire like that?

But you know what, maybe it's just me. I wouldn't date a girl who got knocked up at 15, because it shows she's not good at making life changing choices. I wouldn't date a girl who would drive drunk.


And then we have this golden logic

demon said:
Ugh. Cheating is not a "mistake". You cheat and the harm is done. It's a problem with the relationship itself, not something entirely external. Driving drunk is a bad judgement call....and not that it justifies it or anything, but obviously one made when your judgement is impaired. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, some worse than others, and I'm sure there are many here who've made at least one that put someone else in danger in one way or another. It's up to their partner to determine if that mistake--completely unrelated to their relationship--is worth ending the relationship over. To compare it to cheating, regardless of the severity of the mistake, is flat-out retarded and completely nonsensical. Cheating is a breach of the very thing that is holding the relationship together in the first place. Seriously, do I of all people need to fucking explain this to you?
.

Driving drunk is a bad judgment call.....but cheating (potentially when drunk) is not a mistake?

I'd rather have my gf get drunk and "accidentally" cheat on me than "accidentally" drive drunk. Both are huge errors in judgment. And IMO, both will ruin a relationship.

But I would prefer that the women of my dreams make a bad judgment call, aka, cheat, then drive drunk and kill herself and a minivan full of kids.

In scenario a, I get hurt, but it's just my feelings. In scenario b, I get hurt even more (she's dead) AND an entire family has been murdered.

So yeah, i think you're pretty fucked up if you'd rather date a drunk driver than someone who has followed their biological cues and cheated.
 

Shaka

Member
jamesinclair said:
Thats exactly where Im coming from.
I'd rather have my gf get drunk and "accidentally" cheat on me than "accidentally" drive drunk. Both are huge errors in judgment. And IMO, both will ruin a relationship.
:lol There is no reasoning with you people, you deal only in extremes.
 

Ramirez

Member
Pretty much every male in my family aside from me has had a DUI, it's inexcusable and I wish the punishment were more severe. You wanna kill yourself, fine, don't possibly bring other people into your mess. =\
 
It isn't the same situation, but I do have a bit of a story about DUI's, and not just getting rid of someone who means something to you because they made a mistake. OP, keep your girl if you are happy in the relationship, but don't enable her and don't help her to make the mistake again.

Lots of text coming:


So one night I get a call at about 3 AM from an unknown number. I answer it and it is the police saying they have pulled over my best friend and that he has failed the breath test. They tell me in order for him to avoid jail for the night I need to get down to where they are and pick him up in the next 30 minutes. So I throw my clothes on and get going. I was a little scared because I had had 3 or 4 beers that night before I went to bed, probably stopped at 12 or so. I was completely sober, but paranoid I guess. Anyway, that isn't the point. So I get down there, talk to the cops, tell them I'll take him home and all that. So he gets in my car and starts bawling, crying his eyes out, saying how stupid he is and how it will never happen again. I have never seen this dude cry, he is one of the toughest guys I know, etc. Anyway, after that night I was certain he had learned his lesson. He was seriously bawling like a bitch, just saying how sorry and stupid he was over and over.

So a couple of months later he calls me again, telling me that he just got out of jail, got another DUI. Idiot. But he is telling me that he finally learned his lesson this time. He owes like 15 Grand to California and he had to stay the night in jail, lost his license for a year, etc. He won't ever do it again.

Well without a drivers license, 6 months later, and in debt up to his eyeballs because of DUI's, I get another phone call. "Im in jail again, another DUI."

It only took him a third DUI, a week in county jail, and about 20,000 in debt, but he now doesn't even drink anymore and has, as far as I know, not driven drunk in about 2 years. He drove without his license for two years, but never drunk to my knowledge.



I guess the point of this is, if you care about someone, you don't just drop them for making a mistake. And I know a bf/gf relationship is different from a best friend type of relationship, but I never thought about not being his friend anymore. I wasn't gonna pick him up from jail, or save him from going to jail again. Or help him financially. Or buy him a beer or do anything else that was going to enable him or encourage him to do it again. But I was still going to be there to give him advice, tell him how stupid he is, etc.

He is lucky that he isn't dead and didn't kill anyone. It took him more times than I would have liked until he figured it out, but he is luckier than most that he did figure it out before hurting anyone.
 
Shaka said:
:lol There is no reasoning with you people, you deal only in extremes.

And there's no reasoning with the "lol it's just drinking" crowd.

50 years ago they didn't exist, in fact, we were designing road to accommodate drunk drivers, by cutting down trees near the sides that they could kill themselves with. Getting caught was a tap on the wrist.

Ever looked into DUI laws? There's a trend. They're all called something like "Meagans law" or "Jennifer's law", named after people (usually children) murdered by drunk drivers. All these drunk driving laws have been created AFTER the fact. It's all just a hypothetical situation until your daughter gets killed. Until then, it's not a big deal, people make mistakes right? Unfortunately, we still have a bunch of 70 year old law makers that haven't been touched by a drunk driver. And by touched, I mean had a family member killed. They're still in our government watering down penalties, because to them, it's just a mistake.

So that's the problem. The laws only deal in extremes too. Like in new york last year, when 8 or so people were killed when a mother drove drunk on the wrong side of a highway. Guess what happened shortly after? The laws got stricter. Why didnt that happen 10 years earlier? Because it was just a hypothetical situation.
 
People who drive drunk are the slime of the earth. If they want to kill themselves, I don't care but they take other people with them way too often.
 

Shaka

Member
jamesinclair said:
And there's no reasoning with the "lol it's just drinking" crowd.

50 years ago they didn't exist, in fact, we were designing road to accommodate drunk drivers, by cutting down trees near the sides that they could kill themselves with. Getting caught was a tap on the wrist.

Ever looked into DUI laws? There's a trend. They're all called something like "Meagans law" or "Jennifer's law", named after people (usually children) murdered by drunk drivers. All these drunk driving laws have been created AFTER the fact. It's all just a hypothetical situation until your daughter gets killed. Until then, it's not a big deal, people make mistakes right? Unfortunately, we still have a bunch of 70 year old law makers that haven't been touched by a drunk driver. And by touched, I mean had a family member killed. They're still in our government watering down penalties, because to them, it's just a mistake.

So that's the problem. The laws only deal in extremes too. Like in new york last year, when 8 or so people were killed when a mother drove drunk on the wrong side of a highway. Guess what happened shortly after? The laws got stricter. Why didnt that happen 10 years earlier? Because it was just a hypothetical situation.
You know nothing about me. You know nothing about whether drink driving has affected my life or not. Never once did I say "lol it's just drinking" if that's what you're implying. The fact of the matter is she fucked up, she had a stupid moment. She could've killed someone but she didn't. She must definitely pay for her mistakes, she should walk away with a lesson learned. But the number of people in this thread acting like they're better than her, calling her bitch and whatnot and telling the OP to dump her are just...pathetic to say the list. Truthfully I don't even know what the fuck I'm arguing about, I hate it when people drink and drive. It's fucking selfish.
(And no I don't know about drink driving laws in the states.)
 
Shaka said:
You know nothing about me. You know nothing about whether drink driving has affected my life or not. Never once did I say "lol it's just drinking" if that's what you're implying. The fact of the matter is she fucked up, she had a stupid moment. She could've killed someone but she didn't. She must definitely pay for her mistakes, she should walk away with a lesson learned. But the number of people in this thread acting like they're better than her, calling her bitch and whatnot and telling the OP to dump her are just...pathetic to say the list. Truthfully I don't even know what the fuck I'm arguing about, I hate it when people drink and drive. It's fucking selfish.
(And no I don't know about drink driving laws in the states.)

The reply wasnt just aimed at you, this thread is littered with "it was a mistake, mistakes happen, whatever" replies.
 

Shaka

Member
jamesinclair said:
The reply wasnt just aimed at you, this thread is littered with "it was a mistake, mistakes happen, whatever" replies.
I believe with a mistake like this where nothing terrible happened, It's best to learn from it and move on. No point needlessly dwelling on the past. It was definitely a dumbass move. But hey that's just what I think.
 

Zaptruder

Banned
Shaka said:
I believe with a mistake like this where nothing terrible happened, It's best to learn from it and move on. No point needlessly dwelling on the past. It was definitely a dumbass move. But hey that's just what I think.


By minimizing the consequences, we reduce our ability to learn from actions.
 

wRATH2x

Banned
Shaka said:
You know nothing about me. You know nothing about whether drink driving has affected my life or not. Never once did I say "lol it's just drinking" if that's what you're implying. The fact of the matter is she fucked up, she had a stupid moment. She could've killed someone but she didn't. She must definitely pay for her mistakes, she should walk away with a lesson learned. But the number of people in this thread acting like they're better than her, calling her bitch and whatnot and telling the OP to dump her are just...pathetic to say the list. Truthfully I don't even know what the fuck I'm arguing about, I hate it when people drink and drive. It's fucking selfish.
(And no I don't know about drink driving laws in the states.)
What list?

Anyway I'm sure it was just a mistake, we all make them. She'll learn from them and move on.
 

desa

Member
Your girlfriend's a dumb ass but I hope she learns from this. Fuck all the alcohol impairs your decisions reasonings. No shit sherlock it does that. That's why you have designated drivers s or take a cab home. Hell you could sleep off the drunkenness in your car if you have too.

I don't buy all that bullshit about not having the "right state of mind" to make good judgments because you're intoxicated. I think it's mostly a matter of that shit ain't gonna happen to me or I'm not gonna crash or kill anyone mentality. Either that or they just don't give a fuck.
 

Shaka

Member
Zaptruder said:
By minimizing the consequences, we reduce our ability to learn from actions.
I'm minimising the consequences? Sorry, didn't mean to do that.
Wrath2X said:
What list?

Anyway I'm sure it was just a mistake, we all make them. She'll learn from them and move on.
That's on a need to know basis dood.
 

Deku

Banned
girlfriend appears to have found her solution to shirk responsibility

If she gets drunk and kills someone next time around, consider yourself an accomplice.
 
Deku said:
girlfriend appears to have found her solution to shirk responsibility

If she gets drunk and kills someone next time around, consider yourself an accomplice.
GTFO with that shit shiningwhiteknightGAF.

What I'd like to know is, how did her so called friends allow her to drive off in her condition? OP, since this thread is filled with speculation rather than fact regarding her previous history with alcohol would you mind setting the record straight and let is know what her past history with alcohol is like?
 

Sealda

Banned
What is wrong with USA?

Like here in Sweden its something that everybody always follows. You never ever DUI. Its really really dangerous! I cant believe how americans do not seem to care.

I remember in London, when i was there over christmas, i saw a man coming out from a christmas party. He was literally hugging the car to get into it, so drunk he could not stand up. Still he drove.

Amazing.
 
Sorry to hear, OP, because I know life has enough hurdles without this shit. I think everyone does make one serious mistake before they wake up and realize that they could seriously harm another person, or worse. When I was in elementary school, we had a huge side of the school that was for wall-ball(throwing tennis balls at, etc). So I must have been in grade 4 or lower, and one day there was some chipped away concrete from the wall-ball area. A friend or two threw some baseball sized chunks at the wall just to smash them up. I don't really remember very well, but I guess I threw one piece up high, and it fucking landed on this girls head. Knocked her right out, and she had to get stitches. I never knew until a couple years later when she came up to me and showed me them. I now think that this changed my perception of how my actions affect those around me.

I would never drive under the influence. I would never let a friend. Too many innocent people die from asshole drunk drivers, and the mother fuckers always get off so easy. I ride my bicycle to school and work, and I am always worried about getting wiped out by a car.

You really need to talk to her about this. Hopefully jail scared her straight. Best of luck, dude.
 

CrankyJay

Banned
missbreedsiddx said:
Driving drunk is a stupid reckless mistake, but calling his girlfriend a bitch is uncalled for.

Couldn't disagree with you more. Willfully getting drunk and then behind the wheel of a car is the antithesis of a mistake.

edit: Keep seeing mistake mentioned here...

Did she intend to drink? Yes
Did she intend to drive? Yes
Did she intend to get caught by the police? No

So the mistake was in getting caught?
 
I hope everything works out for you and your GF dude. Bad shit happens, and all we can hope for is that we acknowledge from our mistakes and learn from them.

It's a stupid, avoidable mistake. And so is texting while driving. Sometimes people need to be punished before they make the same mistake again with worse consequences. You're womang isn't the scum of the earth like some here would have you believe. Good luck.
 
BloodySinner said:
I strongly believe a zero tolerance for drinking and driving should be in place. However, I'm pretty sure the majority of AlcoholicGAF will disagree.

In some military commands, there is zero tolerance when it comes to drinking and driving.

There are so many stories of high-ranking officers and enlisted going into severe depression because of a DUI. They get admin separated from the military with an OTH - other than honorable discharge.

Good luck trying to find a job in the civilian world with that following you around and most likely, you are barred from reentering any armed forces.
 

G-Pink

Member
One thing I've enjoyed going through this thread, is that the OP did not once ask for relationship help, nor did he ask whether he should break up with his girlfriend or not.

He actually just asked if anyone had any related DUI stories.

But the majority of people in this thread just had to leap all over this topic like a bunch of poo-flinging monkeys, arguing their worthless opinions back and forth. So silly.
 
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