The good thing about that is that someone was there to shame him and make sure he knew he was doing something wrong in the moment and hopefully remind him about it later. So, if you do decide to just let it go there was some sort of acknowledgement of what he did was wrong.
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So, uh, I think I was just sexually assaulted.
- Thread starter Watch Da Birdie
- Start date
The good thing about that is that someone was there to shame him and make sure he knew he was doing something wrong in the moment and hopefully remind him about it later. So, if you do decide to just let it go there was some sort of acknowledgement of what he did was wrong.
DriftedPlanet
Unconfirmed Member
Actually, listen to these guys. I shouldn't try to push you to report anything if you don't feel comfortable with doing so.
Not your fault. Not at all.
^these above.
.
Read the updates. Regardless of your thoughts on the public exposure, the person in question did feel up the OP. It's assault.
Not your fault. Not at all.
paperboywriter
Member
What a motherfucker. Call the cops and report it
What the fuck is this post.
OP, I would consider reporting him to the bar owners at the very least.
hey_monkey
Banned
OP, I'm sorry this happened. It's not your fault and I hope you stay safe with whatever you do next, pursuing it or not. I'm further sorry for a few of the replies in this thread.
.
Luckily the guy signed his own arrest warrant by telling you where he worked. It is 100% sexual assault, and there is zero defense of what the guy did.
If you feel comfortable doing so, I highly suggest reporting it. You have his workplace, so it's not like finding him would be hard.
Oh for fucks sake. You should educate yourself on what sexual assualt is, because clearly you have no clue.
And do it asap, since they may have surveillance of the incident. But it usually gets deleted after a certain period of time.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
I think it might in most states. Otherwise, it's indecent exposure.
Not that this is a situation I am familiar with.
But you were offered a secret blow job? Or if I read this right you agreed to a secret blow job?
It just seems like a situation you should have instantly walked away from if you were uncomfortable.
As a heterosexual male, if I were to approach a female in the same way you were approached, that would be a creepy form of sexual harassment.
Just super gross.
But you were offered a secret blow job? Or if I read this right you agreed to a secret blow job?
It just seems like a situation you should have instantly walked away from if you were uncomfortable.
As a heterosexual male, if I were to approach a female in the same way you were approached, that would be a creepy form of sexual harassment.
Just super gross.
Regulus Tera
Romanes Eunt Domus
I had to stop reading here. You were sexually assaulted, there's no ambiguity here. Report him.
Red Liquorice
Member
Don't let this experience sour your opinion of all gay men OP. This guy sounds like a total dickhead sociopath and I assume he was drunk/high (in no way an excuse for his behaviour).
I'm all for a danger blowie but it's the sort of thing you have to have a pre-arranged agreement about.
"Hey, I like to whip my knob out in public places, do you mind?"
"No, go ahead, I might even give it a tug under the table."
If you decide you don't want to report him you probably should not see him again as it sounds like you have low self esteem and are a prime target for these sorts of dickheads.
Go on Meetup.com or something and find a mixed local group with similar interests to join.
"Hey, I like to whip my knob out in public places, do you mind?"
"No, go ahead, I might even give it a tug under the table."
If you decide you don't want to report him you probably should not see him again as it sounds like you have low self esteem and are a prime target for these sorts of dickheads.
Go on Meetup.com or something and find a mixed local group with similar interests to join.
Finale Fireworker
Member
Echoing everybody else's sentiment here to make as compelling of a case as possible: you were sexually assaulted and should call the police immediately.
He is not the one needing to be protected, you are. It can be embarrassing and stressful to make a report but it is the right thing to do.
Please let somebody know what happened. Not just us! We are here to help, but this needs to be reported.
He is not the one needing to be protected, you are. It can be embarrassing and stressful to make a report but it is the right thing to do.
Please let somebody know what happened. Not just us! We are here to help, but this needs to be reported.
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
OP did you offer the blowie before the dick whip out?
RickAstley
Neo Member
This is actually incorrect, at least in Ohio (and I assume many other states). Exposing one's genitals with no physical contact is considered Public Indecency and if it was the offender's first violation it would be a misdemeanor of the fourth degree.
It doesn't matter if he did or not.
I hate to be one of the ignorant, but I thought it required contact, as well. I'll educate myself.
Ăśbermatik
Member
Assault:
So as the threat was non-consensual sex, this qualifies as assault - sexual assault, specifically. Hopefully that clears things up for some people, and do correct me if I'm wrong.
Shouldn't be getting caught up in semantics, though - what he did was wrong.
LAW
an act that threatens physical harm to a person, whether or not actual harm is done.
"he admitted an assault and two thefts".
an act that threatens physical harm to a person, whether or not actual harm is done.
"he admitted an assault and two thefts".
So as the threat was non-consensual sex, this qualifies as assault - sexual assault, specifically. Hopefully that clears things up for some people, and do correct me if I'm wrong.
Shouldn't be getting caught up in semantics, though - what he did was wrong.
Messofanego
Banned
That's awful that this happened to you. Stay strong.
Omegasquash
Member
I'm sorry that this happened to you OP. Your instinct is right...this was sexual assault no matter what the law says. Someone flaunted their genitals to you in public, and was getting aggressive with you to the point where you were afraid for your safety.
I hope that you're OK and feeling somewhat better now. That guy is a pervy creep that does creepy pervy stuff. In no way was this your fault.
I hope that you're OK and feeling somewhat better now. That guy is a pervy creep that does creepy pervy stuff. In no way was this your fault.
Triggerhappytel
Member
You should at least report it to the police. If he acts like this around a stranger then he would probably do a lot worse in private. Don't contact him again and remove yourself from that group of people.
What the fuck?! Assault doesn't have to be physical for it to be considered assault.
"In criminal and civil law, assault is an attempt to initiate harmful or offensive contact with a person, or a threat to do so."
agree with ubermatik though. Semantics are the least of the concern. That's a shitty thing to do no matter what it's called and there should be consequences.
CGwizz
Member
What a weird story , the dude was a totaly a creepy fuck and you go and sujest a blowjob to him, then you say you are shy ? Sorry but i dont understand your behaviour in that situation.
You should have called the cops or management of the bar right when you saw him put out his dick and his ass would be in jail right now.
Edited : saw your second post explaining it better, yea that is sexual assault.
You should have called the cops or management of the bar right when you saw him put out his dick and his ass would be in jail right now.
Edited : saw your second post explaining it better, yea that is sexual assault.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Thing is apart from that incident the rest of the night was pretty smooth, I talked to some people about jobs and such and had a good time till the end...I felt more confident till I almost got, well, possibly raped? I walk home from the bar too and usually I feel perfectly safe but for once I was pretty nervous.
The dude in question was honestly pretty good looking, I prefer girls but I admit he was handsome---but he had this very odd sense of humor that bothered me. Kept joking about beating people up and punching me in the fact only to laugh it off. He was a pretty big dude so it did frighten me a bit, especially as I'm rather small so there was definitely a power dynamic here and it wasn't the same as two drunk bros duking it out for fun. I never felt I was on equal grounds with him, there was definitely a way he talked down to me and pushed me.
Also racist? He brought up Charlottesville around the time he started to get aggressive for some reason and made some gross jokes about it, honestly that turned me off more than the dick thing honestly---also bragged about using the "N' word, though the bar I was in seemed pretty redneck so I probably was the only one bothered unfortunately. Not to cast a blanket statement, but in my experience white gay guys tend to be the biggest users of the N-word as a casual joke. He also tossed around faggot a lot which I guess was supposed to be self-depreciating humor but that also made me uncomfortable. I don't mind drunk people who curse, provided they stick with non-targeted insults like fuck and shit and such, words that don't actually offend anyone specifically.
Anyway, I never met this dude before and from what I remember he works at a nearby restaurant (though not in walking distance) but his friend mentioned he was from out of town, so I guess just working for the summer? The friend, a girl, was very polite and seemed to be reigning him in the whole time and I believe she was actually in a higher position than him at his job, and was local, so hopefully she'll have a serious discussion with him about his actions. I really don't know if I'll contact the police to be honest, I'm a bit nervous admitting what happened, but I'm seeing a therapist for other issues right now so I'll probably bring it up with her.
The positive thing? I feel like the situation definitely made me realize how gross men can be and to avoid such behavior myself. I've actually been talking to a girl I like recently and this event gave me an "other side" perspective to avoid actions that come across as harassing and possessive. I want to strive to have an equal healthy relationship with someone rather than a weird hook-up.
The dude in question was honestly pretty good looking, I prefer girls but I admit he was handsome---but he had this very odd sense of humor that bothered me. Kept joking about beating people up and punching me in the fact only to laugh it off. He was a pretty big dude so it did frighten me a bit, especially as I'm rather small so there was definitely a power dynamic here and it wasn't the same as two drunk bros duking it out for fun. I never felt I was on equal grounds with him, there was definitely a way he talked down to me and pushed me.
Also racist? He brought up Charlottesville around the time he started to get aggressive for some reason and made some gross jokes about it, honestly that turned me off more than the dick thing honestly---also bragged about using the "N' word, though the bar I was in seemed pretty redneck so I probably was the only one bothered unfortunately. Not to cast a blanket statement, but in my experience white gay guys tend to be the biggest users of the N-word as a casual joke. He also tossed around faggot a lot which I guess was supposed to be self-depreciating humor but that also made me uncomfortable. I don't mind drunk people who curse, provided they stick with non-targeted insults like fuck and shit and such, words that don't actually offend anyone specifically.
Anyway, I never met this dude before and from what I remember he works at a nearby restaurant (though not in walking distance) but his friend mentioned he was from out of town, so I guess just working for the summer? The friend, a girl, was very polite and seemed to be reigning him in the whole time and I believe she was actually in a higher position than him at his job, and was local, so hopefully she'll have a serious discussion with him about his actions. I really don't know if I'll contact the police to be honest, I'm a bit nervous admitting what happened, but I'm seeing a therapist for other issues right now so I'll probably bring it up with her.
The positive thing? I feel like the situation definitely made me realize how gross men can be and to avoid such behavior myself. I've actually been talking to a girl I like recently and this event gave me an "other side" perspective to avoid actions that come across as harassing and possessive. I want to strive to have an equal healthy relationship with someone rather than a weird hook-up.
Nah dude, he assaulted you, and there's nothing homophobic about being repulsed when a dude whips out his dick and tries to fuck you in public.
Damon Bennet
Member
Oooh, so this is about a gay Situation? Hm!
He definitely assaulted you - ans that's not okay. If you feel unsafe you should call the police, but...
Thatsmyfetish.gif (the public-dick not the assault-part).
You should definitely not stop seeing new people. There will be plenty of actually nice guys.
He definitely assaulted you - ans that's not okay. If you feel unsafe you should call the police, but...
Thatsmyfetish.gif (the public-dick not the assault-part).
You should definitely not stop seeing new people. There will be plenty of actually nice guys.
...What?
Dude.
What an utterly strange thing to say in a situation like this.
Mysterious
Banned
Wait... are you a straight male?
Smooth move, asshat
As sugested earlier, have you tried MeetUp? You can probably find local groups there where people are getting together to take part in a shared hobby, perhaps visiting a museum or taking art classes.
That way you can meet people in a relaxed, no booze, environment and you'll have something to talk about - paintings, music or whatever - rather than having to talk about each other. This might be less stressful than regular socialising.
Kabuki Quantum Lover
Member
Yeah... that's a sexual assault.
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