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[Suairyu]

Alright, then how is it rewired, and how do you not, well, enjoy yourself during 'the journey' without screwing up whatever it is you say need to be rewired?

How do you mean?

Also, is fucking inherently different from love-making, in that it is more or less passionate? I assume you mean doing it for the sake of it, but once again, why isn't that just another way to cultivate a relationship with your partner?

It's just another way of saying "don't pound away like a jack-hammer chasing your orgasm". Focus only on the sensation and the enjoy the moment. Don't chase the end goal. Don't scratch the itch, basically.

But really, if at all possible, just give your partner amazing head and be done with it. If they're understanding, they'll be cool with that.

Animals masturbate. Are we different?

This isn't about "masturbation and porn are evil". They aren't. Post my 'reboot', I now use porn and masturbate. Nothing wrong with it. This is all about if you have a problem and how to fix it.

 

[Grakl]

How do you mean?

What's the difference between the 'journey' while masturbating compared to the end goal when it's obviously not something productive and ends up shooting off dopamine anyways. I just want to know why you say something funny like "hold on softly" and why it's any different, other than slowing down the process. There has to be something quantifiable to a reason why the 'addiction' is solved when you slow down, considering this 'addiction' is not about getting to a end goal, but rather the production of dopamine in the brain.

 

[Suairyu]

What's the difference between the 'journey' while masturbating compared to the end goal when it's obviously not something productive and ends up shooting off dopamine anyways. I just want to know why you say something funny like "hold on softly" and why it's any different, other than slowing down the process. There has to be something quantifiable to a reason why the 'addiction' is solved when you slow down, considering this 'addiction' is not about getting to a end goal, but rather the production of dopamine in the brain.

It doesn't solve it. At all. It delays the process. Masturbation should be avoided.

The point in making it soft and slow is so:
1 - you're not doing porn fantasy.
2 - psychologically, you're not chasing the orgasm.
3 - you're maintaining dick sensitivity.
4 - if masturbation requires a huge time investment, you're less able to do it. It also lessens the "chaser effect" somewhat.

Another reason men can struggle to maintain erections during intercourse is that the vagina just cannot grip as hard as a hand, which especially places a lot of pressure on the base.

It's not about "soft masturbation is okay", it's about "okay, you're masturbating - time for some damage control"

 

[Grakl]

Okay. What I'm asking - does slowing down masturbation decrease the amount of dopamine produced in the brain. That's what I want to know. I can't find it. If it doesn't, then other than the porn thing (which I'm fine with) and sensitivity (which I'm not sure of), I'm saying that there is no damage control.

 

[Suairyu]

Okay. What I'm asking - does slowing down masturbation decrease the amount of dopamine produced in the brain. That's what I want to know. I can't find it. If it doesn't, then other than the porn thing (which I'm fine with) and sensitivity (which I'm not sure of), I'm saying that there is no damage control.

Theoretically, yes. You're lowering the amount of immediate stimulus. Hardcore, nasty porn releases more dopamine than softcore, boring porn. I would imagine it would be the same for soft masturbation vs rough masturbation.

But really, the benefit of the soft, slow masturbation is (as I've said) one of forming positive habits to help you through the 90 day period, rather than a boon to the process.

 

[Grakl]

Theoretically? *sigh*

 

[Suairyu]

Sigh what? I'm not a scientist. I'm only someone who has been through this process successfully, repeating the advice found on the website. I'm not the only one on GAF who has done this - you can check the original thread for more stories.

That website itself recommends the slow approach if you absolutely must. The more important element is fantasizing when you do.

But you shouldn't be anyway because you're meant to avoid it all together.

 

[kaioshade]

Why the fuck not?

Shit sucks right now, and porn was entirely too much of a distraction. Lets see how this goes.

Day one - START

 

[Atramental]

I'm holding off as well just to see what it will do with my confidence levels.

I was feeling pretty confident with myself thanks to neuro-linguistic programing and nuero-associative conditioning techniques but a little extra boost of confidence can't hurt.

 

[Barbacoatl]

I'm holding off as well just to see what it will do with my confidence levels.

I was feeling pretty confident with myself thanks to neuro-linguistic programing and nuero-associative conditioning techniques but a little extra boost of confidence can't hurt.

I'm interested in this, could you point me to some links or books please?

 

[Douglas Quaid]

Stick it through till at least day 7 if you need convincing. Then hunker down your boners for the whole 90.

 

[perryfarrell]

These TED talks have really taken a turn for the worse. Do they allow everyone to slap the TED label on their stuff?

 

[Barbacoatl]

These TED talks have really taken a turn for the worse. Do they allow everyone to slap the TED label on their stuff?

Tedx events are considerably smaller. Besides, if you don't care about the topic wtf do we owe your presence here to?

 

[Good Job Bob]

These TED talks have really taken a turn for the worse. Do they allow everyone to slap the TED label on their stuff?

Yeah, just the other day they let that hack Peter Wayland give a speech!

 

[Buckethead]

Tedx events are considerably smaller. Besides, if you don't care about the topic wtf do we owe your presence here to?

Some of you kids are very touchy.

Must be the lack of porn.

 

[Barbacoatl]

Some of you kids are very touchy.

Must be the lack of porn.

Yeah, must be.

 

[Atramental]

I'm interested in this, could you point me to some links or books please?

Here's kind of a preview of what I've been listening to on a daily basis:
Tony Robbins - The Secret to Absolute Certainty
Tony Robbins - Training NLP
Tony Robbins - Pain and Pleasure
Tony Robbins - Change Your Life Now
Tony Robbins - Changing Your World View
Tony Robbins - What you must do to Motivate NOW

And here's the full CD set that I've been listening to and acting upon consistently:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000HZU0P8/?tag=neogaf0e-20
You can probably get it for a lot cheaper on eBay or buy it used off of amazon.

But I can definitely say that this program (even though it is a bit dated) has caused me to make radical changes in my emotional states. All I have to do sometimes is just breath a certain way, or gesture a certain way, or imagine that I have an aura or power pulsating around myself in order to snap myself into a confident state.

And there's tons of books about this stuff but I haven't had the chance to check it all out yet so here's one of Anthony Robbins' books that talks about this stuff: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0671791540/?tag=neogaf0e-20

Definitely a cheaper alternative to that CD set. lol

 

[wondermega]

well.. I was good for a week :/

 

[Barbacoatl]

Many thx Atra, I will look into it, I'm already familiar with Robbins so it should be a breeze.

Wondermega you're still good to go, don't dwell too much on failure, see it as minor inconvenience and not detrimental to your whole journey.

 

[wondermega]

Many thx Atra, I will look into it, I'm already familiar with Robbins so it should be a breeze.

Wondermega you're still good to go, don't dwell too much on failure, see it as minor inconvenience and not detrimental to your whole journey.

thanks for the support

the week was much easier than I expected. But tonight of course I was clearing off an old drive to move stuff to my new PC and well, oh yeah there's some stuff I should have deleted off of here, y'know the rest

 

[Atramental]

Consider each "failure" as a learning experience.

There are certain psychological triggers that can get fired off deliberately or by accident that can cause us to cave into physical pressures.

In order to condition these so called "triggers" to be less sensitive you must learn how to control your mental focus. And one of the ways you can control your mental focus is by associating pain to a habit you want to tone down or drop completely and by associating pleasure to all the things you can obtain or pleasure to what type of person you can become if you learn how to control your pornography/masturbation habits.

Another way to control these triggers is by developing certain gestures or movements to break yourself out of a "lustful" state. If feel yourself slipping JUMP! WAVE YOUR ARMS AROUND! or RUN! Do something to interrupt your brain's "fap pattern".

Also, figure out and become aware of what things you do right before you jerk off. Is there a certain facial expression your face automatically sets itself to? What are you doing with your breathing? What is your posture like? Where are your hands? What is your mind focusing on? Once you recognize this pre-jerk off pattern do the exact opposite of what your body wants to do. Radically change your facial expression, your posture, your breathing, the position of your hands, your mental focus, and so on.

Hope this helps.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Consider each "failure" as a learning experience.

There are certain psychological triggers that can get fired off deliberately or by accident that can cause us to cave into physical pressures.

In order to condition these so called "triggers" to be less sensitive you must learn how to control your mental focus. And one of the ways you can control your mental focus is by associating pain to a habit you want to tone down or drop completely and by associating pleasure to all the things you can obtain or pleasure to what type of person you can become if you learn how to control your pornography/masturbation habits.

Another way to control these triggers is by developing certain gestures or movements to break yourself out of a "lustful" state. If feel yourself slipping JUMP! WAVE YOUR ARMS AROUND! or RUN! Do something to interrupt your brain's "fap pattern".

Also, figure out and become aware of what things you do right before you jerk off. Is there a certain facial expression your face automatically sets itself to? What are you doing with your breathing? What is your posture like? Where are your hands? What is your mind focusing on? Once you recognize this pre-jerk off pattern do the exact opposite of what your body wants to do. Radically change your facial expression, your posture, your breathing, the position of your hands, your mental focus, and so on.

Hope this helps.

Dude, that's some Clockwork Orange avoidance therapy type shit.

 

[Atramental]

Dude, that's some Clockwork Orange avoidance therapy type shit.

I use similar techniques to snap myself out of being depressed and socially anxious.
So surely this stuff can be useful to some degree in the realm of not fapping to porn.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I use similar techniques to snap myself out of being depressed and socially anxious.
So surely this stuff can be useful to some degree in the realm of not fapping to porn.

I can't attest to the depression and anxiety, but I don't think I can do that naked women, it may screw my head up.

SHEER FORCE OF WILL, BROTHER.

 

[Barbacoatl]

That's some sound advice Atra.

Bonus cheesy pic:

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

That's some sound advice Atra.

Bonus cheesy pic:

 

[Atramental]

I can't attest to the depression and anxiety, but I don't think I can do that naked women, it may screw my head up.

SHEER FORCE OF WILL, BROTHER.

It's not so much will power as it is changing your body's physiology immediately.

Motion can create emotion and different thought patterns. It doesn't have be the other way around.

When you get up and run really quickly your basically changing your mind from a fuck mode to a flight mode. When I punch the air like a boxer my brain starts going into a fight mode.

As for staring at a naked women I can essentially block off all sexual impulses by going into what I like to call an "art mode" where I basically deconstruct what I'm staring at into shapes, shading, color, texture, etc. It's the reason why I can draw a bunch of nude girls and not get any boners because I'm too busy focusing on different design elements. Haha.

Or hell, why are you staring at naked girls in the first place? Why not hit the gym and get fit so later on you can look at a naked girl in the flesh why you're having sexual intercourse with her. Haha.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Or hell, why are you staring at naked girls in the first place? Why not hit the gym and get fit so later on you can look at a naked girl in the flesh why you're having sexual intercourse with her. Haha.

You bastard.

I hate it when you have a point.

 

[BeesEight]

This is closing out the tenth day and it's been somewhat interesting. There's been a few touch and go moments when, as other posters have mentioned, you're browsing along and hit a link and suddenly BAM! You have a naked body in front of you.

And I really don't close those tabs as fast as I should.

That said, I've been successful so far bar those two falters at the very start. I found the urge to continue the routine more difficult and once I didn't do anything for a couple of days it doesn't seem that bad. Course, I've already filled my time with exercising, hobbies and work before I even started.

A side effect I didn't expect is I've been thinking about relationships a lot more. And... well... sex as well. I think I'm starting to understand what people mean when they say they think about sex constantly. It's not preoccupying my day, and it's only a couple of times per day but I've been ruminating on it far more than normal.

I don't know, I didn't consider it a problem when I started and only decided to try this challenge on a whim for shits and giggles.

I have to as the duck, though, at the end what is the primary goal? You said you are back to looking at porn. Is there meant to be a reduction in our consumption of porn? Is it just for a hard reset? Is it just so we can say to ourselves "Yup, I can do that."

 

[Plywood]

Suairyu and Atra, you've both been dropping some quality stuff in here. Thanks for contributing.

That's some sound advice Atra.

Bonus cheesy pic:

It's a good cheesy pic.

 

[nomis]

Every time I see this thread bumped, it reminds me that I need to check for new porn.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Just installed FoxFilter on my browser. I AM STARTING NOW, GODDAMMIT.

It's going to be difficult due to having a rather amorous girlfriend, but if I can focus on being the giver for a few weeks, I think I can pull this off. I just want to be able to get it up without thinking about/looking at porn or touching myself.

 

[maxxpower]

I hope this no-fapping experiment ends with me having real sex with a real woman. I just need that extra confidence boost.

 

[LuCkymoON]

Day one complete!

 

[Bay Maximus]

Day one complete!

Well, you've taken the most important step.

 

[99nikniht]

6th day in, ... Not sure why I'm doing this other than to test my will power.

 

[BlueTsunami]

Day 12: trying to sleep but my mind keeps taking me to the bonezone for about an hour. This what I need to avoid too? Fantasies?

 

[Suairyu]

Day 12: trying to sleep but my mind keeps taking me to the bonezone for about an hour. This what I need to avoid too? Fantasies?

Yep. And it's the hardest part. Just fight the images of all your female friends suddenly deciding they want an orgy with you and that fit celebrity woman you like who's well bang-tidy.

Sometime in month two the fantasies will go away and your dick will go dead, so look forward to that!

 

[Dever]

Day 12: trying to sleep but my mind keeps taking me to the bonezone for about an hour. This what I need to avoid too? Fantasies?

I caved into this after seven days. Damn it, I wanted sleep.

Those seven days were pretty interesting though. The most apparent effect was that I seemingly needed a lot less sleep and in general felt more energetic.

 

[CoffeeJanitor]

I was at a party last night and this girl I know was there, except she was fucking SMOKING compared to usual. Like really, you don't even know, SMOKING.

I can put off trying to make a move for 3 more months. I can fucking do it.

 

[Atramental]

I think once I reach week three I'll start getting vibes from the universe that women everywhere want to fuck my brains out.

It's very rare that I reach that point but golly-gee I'm gonna make it happen this summer!

 

[cdyhybrid]

Yep. And it's the hardest part. Just fight the images of all your female friends suddenly deciding they want an orgy with you and that fit celebrity woman you like who's well bang-tidy.

Sometime in month two the fantasies will go away and your dick will go dead, so look forward to that!

Oh god, this was me last night since I couldn't fall asleep.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DUCK!

Didn't give in though!

 

[Klyka]

I haven't fapped since Monday, haven't watched any porn, had sex 2 times and I JUST CAN'T CUM. I don't understand, it's maddening!

 

[Murkas]

Dat nocturnal emission.

 

[Mr. Fix]

Week 1 already over? Surprisingly, it went by so fast and easy. Bring on the next few weeks!

 

[Barbacoatl]

Still strong, but saturday being my free day I have more time and damn, after getting off the phone with my ex I got some bad urges. Serenity now, scumbag brain.

 

[Navidson REC]

Alright, having just seen the talk, I'm in. It coincides with the beginning of my 4th month of Accutane, so it should be rather easy to keep track of.

Fingers crossed!

 

[Rahxephon91]

Man I was on board with this.

Until I discovered Bangbros "Spanish" sister website...

 

[ConradCervantes]

One night down. Went well, actually. Read a bit and watched some Angel on Netflix. Did some minor sexting with my girlfriend but didn't do anything on my end. She was puzzled as for why I'm doing this, but it gives us more time to relax and enjoy one another's company without pawing at one another.

Edit: Wait, I can't even fantasize? Or can I but just not fap?

 

[Booya]

Day 53, it gets better and worse and better.
so far its worth the confidence boost alone. You also get some kind of sherlock colombo superpower where you can sense all kinds of subtle flirtatious attempts. the talking to plants power goes without saying.