The Sun is a pedestal of hypocrisy. But I am rather impressed their counter-points to the Wii U don't boil down to
WHY U WON'T WANT TO BUY ONE, AND WHAT THEY'RE NOT TELLING U. INSIDE NINTENDO'S NIGHTMARE MACHINE.
1. The WiiU gives you cancer. Fact*.
2. The Miiverse is a haven for paedophilia. It's probably confirmed that Nintendo advocates this kind of behaviour too, and the lack of Wii online was just a masquerade to hide the fact that Satoru Iwata is actually a sex criminal. Wii Play? Yeah, right, you dirty foreigner.
3. The Wii U currently doesn't have any advertising involving a British celebrity we can follow like mindless drones. More Ronan Keating please Nintendo.
4. Recently, Nintendo had a system wide ban on M-Rated games. But at the system's launch, you can buy a a game where you shoot zombies a lot, I've heard. And there's blood. REAL RED BLOOD.
5. The fact they're using "U" instead of the word "You" is just insulting, and another snide attack by Nintendo on the English language. Remember the Gameboy Color? It's disgusting, and will no doubt make children a lot more stupider. Or make exams easier. I forget what they're pushing this week.